Saturday, September 26, 2015

This Week in Social Justice Warrior-dom

A look back at all the things that OUTRAGED ultra-P.C. jihadists ... before they forget all about them in just a few days. 

By: Jimbo X

Surely racist and ableist Bay Area residents sue to keep autistic Indian-American kid from trying to murder their children

While most of America was captivated by a video of one dudebro punching another dudebro who was trying to beat up a tertiary blind dudebro, another news story involving underage violence broke on the West Coast. Apparently, some homeowners in Sunnyvale, California filed a lawsuit against Vidyut Gopal and Parul Agrawal, seeking to declare their middle-school aged son a "pubic nuisance." Unsurprisingly, tons of left-leaning publications and special interests groups picked up on the story, painting it as a tale of insensitive jerkwads trying to force a special needs child out of the community. What many of those accounts leave out, however, is that the violent behavior has been going on since 2007, with one plaintiff describing in brutal detail the numerous attacks on his four-year-old child. Other accounts from neighbors include incidents of baby-punching, bicycle attacks and numerous attempts to kill pets. On Sept. 22, a judge ordered the families involved in the case to seek "mediation" -- in short, demanding the parties find a compromise between doing absolutely nothing and just letting a probable sociopathic juvenile run wild over the neighborhood, all in the name of  promoting neurodiversity

Political scientist Waka Flocka Flame outrages LGBT community with comments on transpeople

Waka Flocka Flame -- a 2016 U.S. Presidential candidate, cough drops spokesman and, as judging by his lyrics, a pretty big fan of heterosexual intercourse -- drew ire from the ever-quarrelsome LGBT contingent when he criticized Brucelyn Jenner on a Sept. 18 talk show. Taking a somehow controversial hardline biological science perspective, Flame criticized Jenner for being something he/her isn't, describing his/her desire to be a transma'am as an act of "the devil playing tricks on your mind." Continuing, the New York rapper made a direct reference to the work of hardcore conservative scribe David Kupelian, alleging that marketers are guilty of promoting the further breakdown of the nuclear family by emphasizing "alternative lifestyles" over cisgender identities and the traditional husband-and-wife construct. How dare Waka Flocka Flame make such prejudicial, homophobic and pro-patriarchy statements? I mean, it's not like there's a huge, longitudinal study out there scientifically validating that children who grew up in homes with their biological parents have greater social outcomes than those raised in other family structures or anything...

The AAU releases new study on college rape with numbers so misleading, even liberal clickbait sites are calling them out on their B.S.

The Association of American Universities unveiled a shocking new study that suggests that as many as one-in-four college women experience sexual assault while on campus. That's a startling claim, seeing as how an official U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics report released earlier this year pegged the 2013 numbers to about five out of 1,000 instead. As it turns out, the AAU appears to have greatly inflated their numbers by categorizing "sexual assault" as a wide-reaching continuum consisting of everything from vaginal penetrations to unwanted cheek kisses to unintentional elbow-to-breast contact in a crowded elevator. They also did a pretty good job of hiding the fact that their survey response rate was an astonishingly low 19 percent -- meaning that the input of 81 percent of the women at the colleges they were surveying weren't included in the final tally. When even staunch dyed-in-the wool hyper-progressivist websites like The Daily Beast and Slate are calling your questionable methodology -- and even more questionable motives -- into doubt, you know you really screwed up somewhere

UFC star cockily issues open-challenge to entire planet, said planet gets upset when washed-up fighter tries to accept said open-challenge

In an August Reddit chat, current UFC Women's Bantamweight Champion Ronda Rousey said she could "beat up anyone on the planet" in a street fight. That drew the attention of former UFC fighter David "Tank" Abbott, who this week promptly challenged Rousey to a bout with $100,000 (and a sandwich) on the line. Of course, the SJWs came out in full force, calling Tank Abbott a misogynist trivializing the issue of domestic violence. Strangely enough, no one ever said the same thing about Rousey, who literally makes a living punching other women in the face and trying to rip their ligaments out of their sockets. 

University President mistakes lanterns for nooses, decides to have "hate crime" discussion anyway

The social justice sirens were screaming earlier this week at the University of Delaware, when students were aghast at the sight of "nooses" hanging from campus trees. This goaded University President Nancy Target to send out a Facebook message, railing against "such cowardly and reprehensible acts [that] are clearly designed to intimidate and frighten." Using the deductive reasoning skills of only the brightest and most perceptive second graders, however, police investigators quickly determined that the "nooses" were actually just the remnants of paper lantern displays. Despite the glaring lack of a racial angle whatsoever, Targett nonetheless invited students to an impromptu campus rally in the wake of the incident "to talk about what happened and what we as a community have learned from it" -- which, hopefully, is to use a little bit more gumption before automatically claiming victimization status. 

Republican candidate gets grilled for saying he wouldn't vote a Muslim into the Oval Office

week after a Texas student was arrested and given a much better life after taking a suspicious device to class against his instructors wishes, Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson infuriated the Islamic community when, on an interview with Meet the Press, he said he would not "advocate that we put a Muslim in charge of this nation." Interests groups immediately called for the neurosurgeon-turned-unlikely-politico to end his campaign, although Carson himself said the remarks have actually resulted in a groundswell of increased financial support from his political base. Carson's disgusting perspective, it is perhaps worth noting, is only shared by an estimated two-fifths of the entire country -- people swayed into their prejudicial opinions, no doubt, by biased, sensationalist news accounts of overblown things like state-endorsed crucifixions in Saudi Arabia and widespread reports of child rape throughout Afghanistan

Syracuse University fights back against sexual assault by cancelling "Kiss Cam" activities

Following an impassioned, not at all hyperbolic letter from an alleged "fan," Syracuse University has decided to suspend its long-running "Kiss Cam" at sporting events ... because it promotes the unwanted sexual touching of women. "The instance I witnessed at the game encourage and condone sexual assault and a sense of male entitlement, at best," the irked letter writer penned, "and they are an actual instance of assault, at worst." As it turns out, the author is the drummer for an incredibly shitty post-punk band ... I wonder if he'll do anything about all the unwanted touching that goes on at his concerts, too?

America welcomes "Average Barbie" with incredible gusto (but doesn't give a shit about climbing childhood obesity rates)

Earlier this week, The Huffington Post regular Nickolay Lamm took to the Internet to finance "Lammily," a Barbie-knockoff with proportions aligned with the aggregate BMI for a 19-year-old American girl per CDC data. Needless to say, the flabby-bellied, huge-hipped and well badonkadonked doll struck a nerve with the national consciousness, as the project generated more than half a million dollars from people presumably fed up with young girls idolizing an "unrealistic" plastic body image. In unrelated news, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also published updated national data this week, indicating that only one third of U.S. adults -- and close to one-out-of-five children -- are clinically obese. 

Indian restaurant mocks white customers, but nobody really cares

An Englishman waltzed into an Indian restaurant in West London earlier this week, and after ordering mild curry, he received a receipt emblazoned with the term "white ppl." Rather than fess up to this blatant form of racial profiling and stereotyping, the owner of the establishment told media that "white ppl" was  actually shorthand for "milk," which they merrily accepted as a reasonable excuse. Huh ... do you think any restaurants in the U.S. could convince those same reporters that the initials "NGRS" or "WTBCKS" are actually industry-speak for well-done and extra ketchup? 

The first wide-release Spanish-language animated "kids" movie in the U.S. is a ribald sex comedy about cockfighting 

Steadily approaching 1,000 screens, the animated opus "Un Gallo Con Muchos Huevos" can rightly be called the first Mexican CGI children's flick to ever get a wide-scale U.S. theatrical release. Alas, complaints are rolling in about the PG-13-rated film's suitability for los ninos and ninas, as it's central plot revolves around a sanitized form of cockfighting and features copious double-entendres about handjobs and hairy scrotums. Alas, that didn't stop Latin Post from describing the film -- whose title literally translates into "The Chicken with Big Balls" -- as a "genuinely funny film that not only provides good characters but also a family friendly story." Uh...values dissonance much, guys? 


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