A fond look back at all the things that had ultra-P.C. jihadists OUTRAGED ... before they forget all about them in just a few days.JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
By: Jimbo X
Category-five P.C. poop-storms rock Missouri, Yale
Last weekend, members of the underperforming Missouri Tigers football team said "fudge the state taxpayers and the free education they are giving us" and decided they ain't playing no more until U of M System President Tom Wolfe resigned. It's not that Mr. Wolfe did anything wrong himself, per se, it's just that, in the eyes of the the Concerned Student 1950 organization, he didn't do enough to address a series of regrettable racial incidents on campus - most notably, this one time a drunk white boy yelled the "n" word and an astonishingly bizarre (if not a bit suspicious) episode involving a swastika being smeared on a bathroom wall in doo doo. After their first attempt to garner media attention ... I mean, attempt to achieve true social justice ... failed, the coalition of outraged African-Americans and lame white people who deeply yearn to experience what oppression tastes like decided to hold campus sit-ins, with demands including the president publicly "acknowledge his white male privilege," increase the staff and faculty minority quota and increase funding for a gloriously nondescript "social justice center" which, by their description, only seems to entail "social justice" for Americans of a very precise pigmentation. One student even went on a well-publicized week-long hunger strike as a symbolic statement against oppression - strangely, mainstream media all but ignored the fact that the "persecuted" student actually hails from a family of millionaires. Well, on Tuesday, both Wolfe and Mizzou Chancellor R. Bowen Loftin capitulated and resigned from their positions (with Wolfe being replaced by a black dude who admits that the main reason he got the job was because of his skin hue). Alas, the demonstrations continued even after the ousters, leading to some hilariously ironic incidents in which a coalition of irked students and staffers - including a screeching SJW whose entire academic career is built upon a bedrock of Twilight-inspired, third-wave feminism claptrap - physically attacked reporters and denied them their guaranteed First Amendment rights because their feelings were more important than the goddamn Constitution. Things only got more Orwellian from there; the Missouri Student Association started reporting false appearances of the Klan on campus, with at least one student freaking out to the point of hysterics simply because a blue pick up truck drove by her. And then, the university police sent out a memo to students asking them to report things to them that aren't actually crimes, with an "anonymous" user on Yik Yak getting popped by the popo for making some boneheaded (albeit most likely empty) threats online (that Yik Yak not only had that kind of data on an "anonymous" platform AND were more than willing to turn them over to officials is actually a lot more frightening - and resounding - than just about any of the racial boogeyman fears being bandied about on campus, actually.) But just you wait! The exact same thing is happening over at Yale, too, because student residence admin Erika Christakis had the AUDACITY to write a well-informed, logic-based email decrying the university's absurdly strict Halloween dress code policies, which was enough to arouse some students to demand that not only she be shit-canned, but her husband - who literally had nothing to do with the memo - be fired too, just out of formal association. To be fair, he did lay the proverbial smackdown on the "oppressed" Yale Ivy Leaguers, whose intellectual rebuttal to his impassioned spiel about constitutional rights was drowned out by people LITERALLY screaming that the point of education was to "make them feel safe" and not enrich them cognitively. Well, that, and LITERAL examples of assault, as demonstrated by a young woman who yelled and cursed over and over again at Mr. Christakis after he decimated her cockamamie ideological views. Now, a growing movement has emerged at Ithaca College, where disgruntled students - a majority of whom are African-American -- want President Tom Rochon on the unemployment line because people he had no control over used the term "savage" to describe a black woman at a panel discussion. The ongoing war on microagressions has even inspired its own hashtag (trust me, you will be seeing A WHOLE LOT more of this one in the upcoming weeks) which hopeless Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders has already appropriated into his social media Wehrmacht (in turn, leading to an absolutely hilarious rejoinder from one Ben Carson.) In the past, I have drawn numerous parallels between the new leftist hyper-P.C. and McCarthyism, but seeing so much entitled rage borne of incidents that seem, at best, isolated, and at worst, completely fabricated, is beginning to remind me more and more of the Satanic Panic of the 1980s, when overzealous Moral Majority members started unfounded rumors of ritual child abuse, which wound up putting countless innocent people in prison for crimes that not only did they NOT commit, but never even happened at all. With a nonexistent burden of evidence, so many lives were wrecked, all because some unscrupulous ideologists wanted to promote their own B.S. politics and had no problems concocting a phantom threat to instill irrational fear into the hearts of the gullible. Stay tuned, readers: your campus, and your livelihood, might just be next.
Yes, there are indeed some terrible, terrible mothers out there
With all the jibber-jabber going on these days about "structural" and "institutional" oppression, we have a tendency to overlook the simple fact that one's home life remains the single greatest developmental influence - and predictor of failure - any of us will ever experience. So when mothers leave their children to fend for themselves while they go out clubbing, maybe we shouldn't be all that surprised when eight years decide to up and murder an infant, just 'cause. Nor, I fear, should we be shocked one iota when a "grieving" mom uses the GoFundMe capital from her slain child's to buy herself a brand new car, I suppose.
Kent State play draws ire because MLK portrayed by white actor
The late, great Martin Luther King, Jr. once said he wished future generations judged men by the content of their character as opposed to the color of their skin. That inspired Kent State University director Michael Oatman to cast a white actor to portray MLK in a couple of performances of The Mountaintop, a play chronicling the last few days of the revered civil rights icon's life (via completely fictionalized events, it is perhaps worth noting). Well, that didn't set well with the playwright, Katori Hall, who is now forcing those who license the production to cast a black actor to portray King or else. And if you're wondering what the reaction would be if a historical Caucasian character was conscientiously skin-swapped during a stage production, for the sake of some abstruse political rationale? Well ... nothing, evidently.
Glamour names person with penis 'Woman of the Year'
Valiantly overlooking thousands upon thousands of female scientists, researchers, businesswomen, human rights crusaders, lawyers, health care specialists and engineers, Glamour decided to name transgender man-slaughterer Caitlyn "the artist formerly known as Bruce" Jenner "Woman of the Year" alongside Reese Witherspoon (who, if I am not mistaken, is the same person who fought for women's rights to education in a super-oppressive Islamic theocracy where young girls who show off their ankles in public have industrial toilet bowl cleaner poured on their faces. I think.) Not every XX-chromosome-carrier out there is too keen on the selection, though. "To laud a man for living as a woman is to insult and patronize women who have borne and overcome incredible odds and achieved great successes because of their uniquely womanly traits," wrote conservative-but-still-technically-feminist columnist Nicole Russell in The Federalist. "Now women don't even get to decide for ourselves what marks the best and most impressive qualities of our own sex? That feels ideologically oppressive."
Phi Kappa Psi suing the dog shit out of Rolling Stone
Hey, remember back in the day, when Rolling Stone published that story about a whole bunch of rapin' going on at the University of Virginia, which turned out to be a whole heaping' helpin' of B.S.? Well, the fraternity that had its reputation slandered something wicked is firing back, hitting the (not at all) venerable publication with a $25 million lawsuit, which is buttressed by an additional suit from an associate dean who is demanding $7.5 million because she was inaccurately portrayed as insensate to the (non-existent) rash of sexual assaults (not) happening all over campus. As a result of the cooked-up story, members of the frat were threatened online and their facility was vandalized numerous times - at one point, it even had "UVA Center for Rape Studies" scrawled on it. "In the most scurrilous traditions of yellow tabloid journalism, Rolling Stone published a devastating story it knowingly failed to verify, in reckless disregard for truth or falsity, or the essential safety, dignity and welfare of the organization or of those lives it was willing to crush with its defamatory article," the fraternity states in the suit. Huh ... that seems to sum up the new-wave, leftist, advocacy-journalism war machine in general, dont't it?
Hooray for Infantilization!
The same week Slate railed against Kids Bopz for sanitizing pop music (apparently, it's a bad thing that kids aren't being exposed to double entendres?), The Atlantic celebrated the emerging "adult coloring book trend." Of Crayola's new line of "Color Escapes" products, scribe Julie Beck states "coloring offers that relief and mindfulness without the paralysis that a blank page can cause ... it's easier in the way that ordering from a restaurant with a small menu is easier than deciding what you want at Denny's, where you could eat almost anything." I am reminded of the ever-ominous words of Benjamin Barber in his 2009 tome, Consumed: "These avatars of consumer capitalism are seeking to encourage adult regression, hoping to rekindle in grown-ups the tastes and habits of children so that they can sell globally the relatively useless cornucopia of games, gadgets and myriad consumer goods for which there is no discernible 'need market' other than the one created by capitalism's own frantic imperative to sell."
Study verifies atheist superiority because religious kids are less likely to give out stickers
In a widely cited study published last week in the journal Current Biology, researchers examining more than 1,000 elementary schoolers across six countries determined that the tykes of atheists were more "altruistic" than the offspring of the religious, on average, agreeing to give four stickers to other children compared to the Christians and Muslims of the world, who only averaged three giveaway stickers in a "dictator game"-centered experiment. Unfortunately, the study is hampered by numerous problems, including some extraordinarily random metrics (for example, only using maternal education level is an SES proxy), the use of an extremely sketchy "justice sensitivity inventory" to gauge children's "empathy" and the complete and utter lack of a nationalized data set (meaning the researchers never actually tell us what the results were, broken down by each country.) That last one is a pretty big one, seeing as how they used two schools in the overwhelmingly Muslim Turkey and another school in the almost exclusively non-theistic China as counterweights to the much more ethnically (and religiously) diverse schools in Jordan, the USA, Canada and South Africa. Of course, those inconveniences are of little concern to liberal-tinged publications like The Daily Beast and The Guardian, who used the suspect findings of the study to flat out declare religious children "jerks" and "meaner" than their peers.
Retailers under fire for selling 'offensive' holiday apparel
Some folks aren't too happy with Target's decision to sell an intentionally hideous novelty sweater emblazoned with the words "obsessive Christmas disorder," because it makes light of those with mental illnesses - because as we all know, the primary intent of soulless retail giants is to subliminally marginalize those with oddly specific health conditions and NOT pander to the brain-dead, kitsch-centric youth culture by repackaging and mass marketing memes that were outdated three years ago. The same thing happened to Nordstrom recently, whose "Chai Maintenance" Chanukkah sweater has drawn fire from extraordinarily sensitive members of the U.S. Jewish community, who will no doubt spend the remainder of the holiday sulking over the ordeal instead of reflecting on the fact that 46 percent of their ethnic countrymen reside in households making more than $100,000 a year.
...and your weekly reminder that America might not be that bad of a place to live...
While the ISIS attack on Paris drew most of the international headlines, rest assured, there were PLENTY of other stories 'round the globe this week to make each and every man, woman, child in America thank their lucky stars they were born in the lower 48. Do we begin with Saudia Arabia, which just surpassed a 20-year-record for most government-sanctioned beheadings? Or how about Indonesia, where drug trafficking has gotten so bad that the government recently unveiled plans to sentence the worst offenders to an island surrounded by crocodiles, piranhas and tigers? And the next time anyone brings up how "awful" LGBT and immigrant rights are in the States, just remind them: South African natives are welcoming Ethiopian refugees to their country by incinerating them, while Kenya's abhorrent treatment of gays is so ghastly that some homosexual refugees are actually fleeing BACK to Uganda.
...and lastly, a few headlines that speak for themselves...