Saturday, May 28, 2016

This Week in Social Justice Warrior-Dom

A fond look back at all the things that had ultra-P.C. jihadists OUTRAGED ... before they forget all about them in just a few days. 

By: Jimbo X

Sanders supporters demonstrate collective tolerance, maturity by threatening to kill Nevada Democratic Chair

While the mainstream media - and hell, non-mainstream media, for that matter - has spent the better part of the last six months trying to convince everyone that Donald Trump supporters are closeted neo-Nazi Klansmen (even though most violence wrought at Trump events were actually enacted by protesters who hate The Donald's guts), much, much less attention has been paid to the hyper-violent, destructive pro-Sanders camp, whose borderline cult-ish behavior represents an objectively worse threat to public civility and safety than pro-Trumpers on their absolute worst days, times ten. Even the heavy-hitters of the so-called "fifth estate," however, had to take a step back and marvel at the vehement, petulant carnage of the Bernie Bros. when a mob of Sander-nistas at a Nevada State Democratic convention in Las Vegas May 14 went buck wild upon learning that about 60 Sanders delegates - who, apparently, were so busy feeling the Bern that they forgot to actually register as democrats before the convention - were disqualified. As you'd imagine, the Sanders-faithful nearly went into full pissed-off-toddler mode, as fists flew, chairs got tossed and the National Guard had to be called to get the blue-bedecked dead weight to leave the convention halls. That was just the beginning of the hilarity, however, as Nevada Democratic Chairwoman Robert Lange had her personal cell-phone number leaked over the weekend, leading to her receiving a deluge of not just mean-spirited, but downright ominously violent messages. Of course, these bastard sons and daughters of the Occupy Wall Street movement apparently forgot that turnabout was fair play, and as such, have had their lives promptly destroyed when Lange published some of the "heartwarming" texts and phone calls she has received from America's most progressive voters. Wondering what some of the highlights were? Well, here are just a few choice cuts from America's left-most, hive-minded ideologues: 

Interestingly enough, one of the Bernie Bros. who decided to violate interstate federal communications law was shrill-voiced, Atlanta-area SJW Austin Gates, whose mopey YouTube video entitled "Me, Depression, Coming Out and Abuse" has about 120,000 views and more than 2,000 likes. Oh so ironically, in another video, the twink-tastic Beliber boldly declares that "bullying someone is the same as killing someone." Well, if that's the case, somebody needs to lock this pipsqueak up for life after the following homicidal text messages:

Eerily portending some 1968-style mayhem later this summer, many irked Sanders fans left cryptic messages about "Philadelphia" and "fires" - indicating that when the Dems gather for their national convention in the City of Brotherly Love in late July, a whole bunch of aggrieved Bern-Outs might be looking to spoil the fun and games with some good old, Maoist-style populist violence. Property owners in Philly, take heed - now might be a good time to re-up on the best insurance policy you can get. 

Black Lives Matter organizer arrested for pimping 17-year-old white girl

There is irony, and then there is super-irony. After that, you've got super-duper-irony, and now - perhaps setting an unsurpassable benchmark for most ironic thing in the history of humanity - we now have ourselves a vaunted Black Lives Matter leader being charged with owning an underage, Caucasian sex slave. It took a month, but word has finally gotten out that Charles Wade - co-founder of the Ferguson-borne Operation Help or Hush - was arrested April 25 and is now facing no less than seven felony charges stemming from the alleged human trafficking of a 17-year-old child. Per Maryland police, an undercover officer responded to an ad for an "escort" on Backpage, and when he showed up at 33-year-old Ward's door step, the underage prostitute introduced him as, and I quote, "her manager." As expected, Ward has unfurled an incredibly convoluted backstory on why he's innocent - as if ANY excuse as to why you are splitting a hotel room with a minor will suffice - and said he believes all charges will be dropped when he's due back in court June 3. 

For the record, Wade was named one of the 100 most influential black activists by The Root last year and spoke before the United Nation's Committee Against Torture in Geneva in 2014. And unbelievably - even AFTER his arrest for pimping - he has been invited to attend White House events as recently as May 17

Fun with surveys!

As the old adage goes, there are three levels of lies - regular, boring old lies, "damned lies," and the most egregious of them all, statistics. Despite surveys, poll and other egghead data collecting methodologies being prone to oversights and insane biases, we nonetheless are expected to invest huge dollops of faith in the latest report or research findings from The Institute of What-The-Hell-Ever or the University of Who-Gives-a-Shit's School of I-Don't-Really-Give-a-Half-Fuck - this, despite the fact that such data is often funded by large companies, foundations and think tanks who obviously have a clear-cut agenda they are trying to express through - ahem - empirical sciences. But what happens when all of that data collection winds up telling a story you didn't exactly want it to tell? Funny you should ask, as several intriguing findings made their way into the national consciousness lately...

And, as odd as it may sound coming from we here at The Internet Is In America, we have to give mad respect to the intrepid journalists over at the New York Times for a recent data-driven piece that dispels one of the greatest myths of our time - that "mass shootings" are a predominantly "white" activity. Evaluating the total number of 2015 shooting incidents in which four or more people were killed or injured, analysts determined that three-fourths of all victims were African-American ... and so were three-fourths of all the perpetrators

Back in Black (crime) 

Although the idea of all 40 million or so African-American peoples in the United States somehow sharing the exact same sociopolitical interests and concerns sounds a little impossible (if not downright segregationist, to some capacity), we nonetheless are bombarded with news stories and press releases about how the social outrage du jour is impacting, and I quote, "the black community." Although this hypothetical "black community" has no formal structure, elected figureheads or even a public charter, politicians, media folks and really, anyone who decides to raise his or her voice in the public sphere will eventually be scrutinized by the invisible construct, which is totally not at all a phantom, arbitrary interest groups comprised primarily of wealthy, white liberals exploiting poor black peoples to further their own political agendas. Alas, if we just HAVE to clump every dark-skinned person in America - involuntarily, I might add - into a rigid sociopolitical grouping, I reckon it is only fair to also clump said individuals into a massive, de-individualized blob that seeks to blame all individual transgressions on some sort of overarching, collective culture. So who is ready to cherry pick some recent illegal escapades of African-Americans and use said isolated incidents to make mass generalizations about an entire ethnic group? Oh, that's right, every last one of us...

As I was saying earlier, though, we don't want to typecast African-Americans as people disproportionately inclined to commit violent crimes. After all - there are also plenty of Hispanic criminals out there, too, murdering their entire families and killing cops sans any signs of remorse

Your regularly scheduled round-up of miscellaneous fabricated outrages

By now, we should all be keenly aware that there are a lot of thin-skinned pussies and political opportunists out there, just waiting to take the most niggling of minor incidents and blow them up into national-level controversies. Alas, sometimes these agenda-driven advocacy groups make maddened grasps for the absolute shortest of straws - and as you will soon see, no fruit appears to be too low-hanging for some of America's most perpetually aggrieved whiners, cry-babies and pro-secularist bullies.  

And for our pro-victimization porn offering of the week, Australian "video artist" Sophia Hewson recently released a short film featuring herself having sex with an alleged stranger, which she said is designed to get across the idea that - and I quote - "rape is more than an unwanted sexual act, that it is the foundation of the entire institution of the patriarchy, and hence it is the crucial battleground for dismantling male power." Unfortunately, actual rape victims aren't too happy about Hewson's latest masterpiece. "Her fear could not possibly have been real," said Katrina Keshishian, who was sexually assaulted in a heinous attack just outside of Sydney in 2008. "The fear from having sex with a stranger isn't the same fear as being raped. She was a willing participant, rape is being taken forcefully." 


Of course, it wouldn't be a complete This Week in Social Justice Warrior-Dom without a thorough recap of all of the rabble-rousing coming out of the non-cisgender, non-heterosexual lobby. Wondering what the great 4 percent has been miffed about as of late? Well, here's just a sampling of the things the new NRA (Non-Reproductive Americans) are fuming about these days...

And in a shocking turn of events that undoubtedly lends itself well to an FX mini-series 15 years from now, billionaire homosexual Silicon Valley libertarian Peter Thiel was revealed to be the secret bank roller of Hulk Hogan's astounding $140 million lawsuit against Gawker for publishing clips of him having racial epithet-laden sex with Bubba the Love Sponge's wife. Purportedly, Thiel's financing of the Hulkster's legal battle is retaliation for Gawker publisher Nick Denton outing him as a homosexual in a piece from almost 10 years ago, so let that be a lesson to all of us - don't ever fuck with a rich gay dude who knows the legal system. Ever

Academia continues fight for the common (or is it commune?) good of all peoples

Ah, good old college - where America's healthily suspicious and uncertain teenage youth are slowly but surely shpaed into hive-minded relativists who worship multiculturalism and think everything that doesn't conform 100 percent to their progressivist ideals are racist, sexist, homophobic or fascist. Well, it's not like a bunch of old, rich, white people yammering on and on about how evil other old, rich, white people are to incredibly impressionable, idealist youth would ever backfire on the the upper echelon of academia, right? Well, just take a gander at the following higher education happenings, and I think the question answers itself...

And hey, why wait until gets get into college before we start teaching our gilded youth to stop trying so dang hard and think, look, and not give a shit about their actions like everybody else? Wake County in North Carolina is apparently way ahead of the curve, having announced they will stop giving out high school valedictorian and salutatorian honors because it encourages students to chase meaningless grade point averages. Portending some incredibly distressing things to come, school board chair Tom Benton explained the decision thus: "We have heard from many, many schools that the competition has become very unhealthy ... students were not collaborating with each other the way that we would like them to. Their choice of courses was being guided by their GPA and not their future education plans."

Living the socialist dream in Venezuela

¡Ay, caramba! Things keep on getting worse down there in the rotting, stinking, reverse-paradise commie hell-hole Hugo Chavez left behind for all la gente. In case you are wondering what happens when a national economy heavily invested in social entitlement programs that don't work but still cost an arm and a leg sinks like a bucket of kittens in a well-tied burlap sack, all you got to do is hit up the Internet (fuck the Associated Press, I'm leaving it capitalized) and take a look at the poor fortunes - and I mean poor - in the ironically nicknamed "Land of Grace." Do you start with the fact that sugar production is so low that Coca Cola said "fuck it, we're out of here" or that Bridgestone, after six decades in the country, recently decided to abandon ship - this, after rival tire manufacturers Pirelli and Goodyear hauled stakes earlier this year, resulting in at least $1.6 billion being sucked out of the national economy? Oh, and how about the almost Zimbabwean-levels of inflation going on, with corn flour prices increasing 900 percent and a Happy Meal now costing the equivalent of a third of the average worker's monthly salary? With armed national guardsmen having to stand watch over grocery stores to prevent starving hordes from killing each other over chicken and mobs setting people on fire for the theft of five dollars in local currency, one can't help but dare aver that most hideous question - does a similar fate await the U.S. someday? Don't get too comfy, folks - that day might be coming a lot sooner than later

Convicted murder demands taxpayers pony up for sex change operation

Scott Lynn Gibson, 38, is a prisoner in a Texas state prison currently serving a 51-year sentence for murdering another inmate, trying to murder a correctional guard and robbing a convenience store clerk at gunpoint. Gibson - who looks suspiciously like every female over the age of 40 in your office - claims to be a woman trapped inside a man's body and is currently under the state's hormone therapy treatment program - which, by the way, is completely subsidized by the Lone Star State's taxpayers. Well, one thing that isn't covered under Texas' socialized inmate health care plan is gender reassignment surgery, and now, Gibson is threatening to sue because he believes the state not agreeing to pay the costs of whacking his wing wong off is a form of, and I quote, "cruel and unusual punishment." And if Texas taxpayers' don't pony up for his sex change? Ever the resourceful sort, old Gibson's got himself a heck of a backup plan. "I will go ahead and castrate myself," he told KWTX. Which, naturally, begs the question - if having male genitalia causes Gibson as much mental anguish as he claims, then why hasn't he lopped off his own Johnson already?

Forget worrying about transpeople in bathrooms ... what are you going to do when transanimals are in the stall next to you?

There's this old logical fallacy often referred to as "the slippery slope argument," which basically states that saying something is bad more or less because it opens the door for something worse to come along later is just flat out irrational. While the egghead elitists out there will no doubt keep droning on and on about how its an insurmountable cognitive construct, you have to at least give all the anti-gay marriage folks a teensy-weensy bit of credit, because what do you know, all that LGBT-acceptance stuff has indeed ripped the floodgates wide open for all sorts of legal, social and ethical issues we're perhaps not ready to wrap our collective minds around yet. Sure as sugar, just as soon as the gay marriage thing was wrapped up, this trans-debate all of a sudden became a huge election year issue. Well, modern day post-post-liberalism being the unstoppable juggernaut it is, it's only a matter of time until the Supreme Court likewise puts the transpeople in equally untouchable civil footing. But prey tell, what sort of non-cisgender, non-hetero sexual subculture are we going to turn to to promote our miscellaneous progressivist agendas by shaming everyone who thinks such is abnormal into a spiral of silence? Well, throuples are already a thing, so polygamy might be on the docket next. And of course, trans-ageism is going to be a whole hell of a lot of fun when that gets its day in the sun. But after we've decided that gays, lesbians and transpeople can marry three or four other people and pee-pee and doo-doo wherever they want and 84-year-old men can legally declare themselves to be 13-year-old girls, what in the world are we going to fight for? Well, it might be a few decades away, but fellas, eventually, we're going to have to figure out what we're going to do with transanimals. Never heard of transanimals before? Well, they are "people" who decide to live their lives as animals - as in, they put on skintight animal costumes, play with chew toys, walk on all fours and periodically lift their hind legs to mark their territory on the furniture. Now, to the non-insane person, such is already pants-pissingly horrifying enough, but just you wait! There are already people out there who - through extensive cosmetic augmentation - have effectively transformed themselves into chimeras, such as this "trans-dragon" from Arizona. That may disturb you to some degree, but hoo boy, trust me, it gets even betterThanks to ongoing, groundbreaking innovations in the field of genetic modifications, in a good 40 or 50 years - perhaps even sooner - humans will likely be able to have their DNA altered so as to physiologically be more animal than man. Which, as Francis Fukuyama tried to warn us about in his admittedly underwhelming tome Our Posthuman Future, will break open a scientific Pandora's Box that stands to completely change our precepts of our own humanity. 


Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.