Friday, January 6, 2017

Live Play-By-Play Coverage of The Wildcard Round's Raiders vs. Texans Game!

Well, the Raiders get at least one playoff game in NRG Stadium, I suppose...


By: Jimbo X

Join The Internet Is In America on Saturday, Jan. 07, for our LIVE play-by-play (well, more like possession-by-possession, but that shit is deathly for SEO) coverage of the wildcard round's Raiders vs. Texans game. The shenanigans begin at 4 p.m. eastern time (with updates every commercial break) so be sure to bookmark this shit before kickoff. And as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#silverandblacklivesmatter) ...
2:40 p.m. - Well, this is it, folks. The Raiders' first playoff game since 2003. Obviously, morale in Raider Nation has been low ever since Derek Carr got carted off the field in Week 16, and Matt McGloin's uninspired play against the Broncos in Week 17 insured his ass was getting benched for this one. 

2:42 p.m. - And so, it comes to this; a 12-4 season coming to a head with the Raiders' third string quarterback making his first professional start in a one-and-done, do-or-die postseason opener. And if that wasn't bad enough in theory, Pro Bowl offensive lineman Donald Penn hasn't been medically cleared for today's game. Factoring in Houston's defense - not to mention the fuckin' game itself is in Houston - it certainly sounds like a statistical recipe for disaster. 

2:46 p.m. - Alas, if we've learned ANYTHING this year, it's that you can never count the Raiders out. Yes, Derek Carr was responsible for a lot of what the Raiders were able to accomplish, but let's not discount the heroics of Khalil Mack, Cooper and Crabtree and our three-headed running back committee; all of whom are still proudly wearing silver and black and all of whom are certainly looking to extend this unforgettable season for at least another season.

2:49 p.m. - This is the second meeting between the Raiders and the Texans this season. Their last encounter - in Mexico City - was a 27-20 win for Oakland. (For those of you looking for something to do in the downtime, you can check out our play-by-play from that one right here.)

2:52 p.m. - For Houston, backup QB Tom Savage and and LB John Simo are both out. Cornerback Kevin Johnson is on the IR. 

2:54 p.m. - Vegas has the Texans as a 4-point favorite. The over/under is set at 38.

2:55 p.m. - The Raiders are 9-7 against the spread this year, while the Texans are 6-9-1. The Raiders are 5-2 covering as underdogs, while the Texans are 4-4-1 as the favorites. 

2:56 p.m. - The Raiders are 5-3 against the spread as the road team. The Texans are 4-3-1 at home.

2:57 p.m. - Brock Osweiler is starting QB for Houston. Connor Cook is the man for the Raiders. Brandon Weeden is the backup for the Texans, while - believe it or not - the next man up after McGloin is Michael Crabtree. 

2:59 p.m. - Just in: Mario Edwards, Jr. is questionable for the Raiders today.

4:21 p.m. - Sean McDonough and Jon Gruden (the irony!) are our commentators for today's game.

4:23 p.m. - They keep saying the Texans are the No. 1 ranked defense in the League. They are shitting all over Brock Os, though, so that's a positive.

4:24 p.m. - Menelik Watson is starting at left tackle, opposite Jadeveon Clowney. Austin Howard is filling in as right tackle.

4:31 p.m. - Clay Walker does the National Anthem. He looks like he says the "n-word" a lot, to me.

4:36 p.m. - Texans receive first. Te return man goes down a bit short of the 30-yard marker.

4:37 p.m. - Miller runs for about three yards.

4:37 p.m. - Second and seven. Os dumps it under pressure.

4:38 p.m. - Third and seven. He hits Griffin for a new set of downs.

4:38 p.m. - Malcolm Smith got beat bad on that one. 

4:38 p.m. - Miller takes it to the HOU 45. 

4:39 p.m. - Second and three. Griffin picks it up at the OAK 42.

4:39 p.m. - Miller gets hit right at the line.

4:40 p.m. - Second and nine. Malcolm Smith breaks up the pass.

4:41 p.m. - Third and nine. Brock Os has to scramble and he's taken down well short of the first down sticks. 

4:41 p.m. - Shane Lechler out to punt. The Raiders fair catch it down at their own 10.

4:44 p.m. - Murray runs for a yard, maybe a two.

4:45 p.m. - Second and nine. Clowney bats the ball out of the air.

4:45 p.m. - Third and nine. Cooper barely gets back to the line.

4:46 p.m. - King punting. The ball flies out of bounds around midfield.

4:49 p.m. - Hopkins gets flatlined by Reggie Nelson after about a four yard pick up.

4:49 p.m. - Miller hit behind the line by Mack.

4:50 p.m. - Third and eight. Griffin tackled by Joseph one yard shy of moving the sticks.

4:50 p.m. - Kicker Nick Novak is out. It is a 50-yard attempt.

4:51 p.m. - It's good. Houston leads it 3-0 with about seven minutes left in the first.

4:53 p.m. - Novak out to kick off. Richard goes down around the OAK 23.

4:54 p.m. - Murray runs for about a yard.

4:55 p.m. - Second and nine. Richard dropped for five yard loss.

4:55 p.m. - Third and 12. Looks like Clowney has an interception off a batted pass. Watson hit with a personal foul after the INT to give HOU a first and goal.

4:57 p.m. - Miller untouched on a 10-yard camper to the end zone. The XP is good and the Texans lead it 10-0 with six minutes left in the first.

5:01 p.m. - Crabtree picks up the pass for Cook's first big completion and the team's first first-down of the game.

5:02 p.m. - Cook sacked. 

5:02 p.m. - Second and 16. The toss to Crabtree is almost intercepted.

5:03 p.m. - Third and 16. Crabtree appears to pick up a catch to move the chains, but the refs say it's not a completion. Jack Del Rio tosses the red hankey.

5:06 p.m. - The refs say it wasn't a catch. The Raiders lose a timeout and they have to punt.

5:07 p.m. - It's a touchback.

5:08 p.m. - Miller with two, maybe three on the run before getting tackled by Mack.

5:08 p.m. - Second and eight. Miller with another two yard run. 

5:09 p.m. - Third and six. Brock Os misses on the pass. A flag is down.

5:10 p.m. - Offensive holding against Houston. The Raiders decline the penalty and it is fourth and eight.

5:10 p.m. - Richard with a big return - a 37 yarder.

5:13 p.m. - Raiders take over at the HOU 40. Murray with a big run down to the HOU 20.

5:13 p.m. - Murray with a five yard run, complete with a sweet little spin move at the end.

5:13 p.m. - Second and four. Walford gets enough for a first down.

5:14 p.m. - First and goal. Murray takes it down to the HOU 1.

5:15 p.m. - Second and goal. TOUCHDOWN LATAVIUS MURRAY!

5:15 p.m. - Sea-Bass out. The XP is good. OAK cuts it down to a 10-7 HOU lead.

5:17 p.m. - Houston's return man goes down at the 15. Osweiler bobbles the snap and takes a sack.

5:18 p.m. - The back is smashed behind the line. Raiders blitzing like motherfuckers now.

5:18 p.m. - And that's the end of the first quarter.

5:21 p.m. - Third and 12. Mack MURDERS the receiver in the backfield. Houston gotta' punt again.

5:22 p.m. - Richard the return man again. He goes down at the OAK 43.

5:23 p.m. - Crabtree reels in a bullet pass to move the sticks.

5:24 p.m. - Murray with a yard, maybe two on the run.

5:24 p.m. - Second and nine. Crabtree with a dropped pass on what would've been a first down haul.

5:24 p.m. - Third and nine. A defender bats it away before Amari Cooper can reel it in. Fourth and nine.

5:25 p.m. - King out to punt. The coverage team buries it at the HOU 5.

5:27 p.m. - C.J. Fiedorowicz manages to get it to the HOU 20.

5:28 p.m. - Lamar Miller makes it to the HOU 29.

5:28 p.m. - Second and four. Hopkins takes it up to the HOU 48.

5:29 p.m. - Fiedorowicz takes it to the Oakland 35.

5:29 p.m. - Miller hit way behind the line.

5:30 p.m. - Second and 12. Hopkins gets enough to move the sticks.

5:31 p.m. - Nothing working on that end zone shot.

5:31 p.m. - Second and 10. Miller gets about four yards. Maybe five.

5:32 p.m. - Third and six. The ball is deflected by Malcolm Smith. 

5:33 p.m. - Novac out for a field goal.

5:33 p.m. - A 38-yard attempt. It's good. Houston leads it, 13-7.

5:36 p.m. - Taiwan Jones takes it out to the OAK 30 after a muffed catch. 

5:36 p.m. - Murray runs for three, possibly four yards.

5:37 p.m. - Second and eight. A pass intended for Crabtree almost picked off.

5:38 p.m. - Third and eight. Batted down by Jonathan Joseph. King has to punt.

5:39 p.m. - The return man goes down around the HOU 25.

5:41 p.m. - Miller crushed at the line.

5:41 p.m. - Second and nine. Incomplete pass to Hopkins.

5:42 p.m. - Third and nine. Osweiler hit as he is thrown so the pass is way off. But a defensive holding call gives Houston a free set of downs anyway.

5:43 p.m. - The back is dropped for damn near a ten yard loss. 

5:44 p.m. - Second and 17. Hopkins takes it to the HOU 32.

5:45 p.m. - Third and six. And Os scrambles to move the sticks.

5:45 p.m. - Miller gets three, maybe four.

5:46 p.m. - Irvin heading to the locker room for something.

5:46 p.m. - Miller takes it to the 50 yard line.

5:46 p.m. - Third and four. In comes James Cowser.

5:47 p.m. - The back doesn't get anywhere close to enough yardage. Fourth and two.

5:47 p.m. - Lechler punts. It goes out around the OAK 10. Flag is down.

5:48 p.m. - Illegal shift against offense, holding against the defense. So they neutralize each other.

5:49 p.m. - Lechler has to kick it again. It's a touchback.

5:52 p.m. - Oakland takes over at their own 20. Murray with three, possibly four yards on the run.

5:52 p.m. - Second and seven. Washington hit behind the line for a loss.

5:53 p.m. - The Texans call a timeout.

5:54 p.m. - Third and eight. Almost picked off, but an incomplete pass is better than an INT, I suppose. King has to punt again.

5:55 p.m. - Texans take over at their own 30.

5:55 p.m. - A bullet pass puts Houston into OAK territory. And that's the two minute warning.

5:59 p.m. - Hopkins reels it in within the five yard line.

5:59 p.m. - Oakland challenges if he had two feet in. He probably did.

6:00 p.m. - He held on. Miller with a few yards on the first and goal run.

6:01 p.m. - Second and goal. Hopkins holds on to it and it's a Texans touchdown. The XP is good. Houston leads it 20-7.

6:03 p.m. - The Oakland returner goes down shy of the 20.

6:04 p.m. - 1:15 to go int the half. Cook just chunks it on first down.

6:05 p.m. - Murray dropped for a loss.

6:05 p.m. - Third and 16. Murray runs for about 10 yards, but it is well short of the first down marker. NOW FUCKING RODNEY HUDSON IS HURT.

6:07 p.m. - Just fuck this game and also fuck my life.

6:08 p.m. - King punts it away. The Texans are 18-0 when leading at halftime under Bill O'Brien.

6:08 p.m. - Osweiler chased out of bounds. It is made worse by a holding call against Houston.

6:09 p.m. - First and 20. Os takes a knee and that will do it for the end of the first half. With the Texans up 20-7, do the Raiders send in McGloin to start the next half?

6:24 p.m. - Cook is staying in the game. Murray hit behind the line.

6:25 p.m. - Roberts can't reel it in. But there is a flag down.

6:25 p.m. - It's against the defense. Automatic first down.

6:26 p.m. - The pass is behind Roberts.

6:27 p.m. - Second and 10. Another flag down. False start against the Raiders.

6:28 p.m. - Cook gets sacked. 

6:28 p.m. - Third and 21. Murray with a completion, but it is well short of the the first down marker.

6:29 p.m. - The Texans muff the kick, but they still recover it. There is a flag down. It's a holding call against the Texans.

6:33 p.m. - Second and eight for the Texans at their own 20. Miller gets about two yards.

6:33 p.m. - Third and six. Os tries to throw it to the man in the moon. Houston has to punt.

6:34 p.m. - Richard takes it across midfield on the return.

6:36 p.m. - Richard gets about seven, maybe eight on a reception. 

6:37 p.m. - Second and five, actually. He runs for about two. Third and two coming up.

6:38 p.m. - Cook is sacked. King out to punt. The Texans catch it around their own 11.

6:42 p.m. - Pass batted down on first down.

6:43 p.m. - Second and 10. The back is hit behind the line. 

6:43 p.m. - Os throws it out of bounds on the deep pass.

6:44 p.m. - Hudson is back in. Murray barely gets back to the line.

6:44 p.m. - Cook overthrows Crabtree. 

6:45 p.m. - Third and 10. Cooper can't reel it in deep down field.

6:46 p.m. - The King punt goes out of bounds around the HOU 25.

6:48 p.m. - Brock incomplete. A flag is down.

6:49 p.m. - A holding call against the Raiders gives the Texans a new set of downs. 

6:49 p.m. - Miller runs for seven.

6:50 p.m. - Second and four. Miller stopped shy of the line.

6:51 p.m. - Looks like Houston has enough to move the sticks.

6:52 p.m. - Miller goes across the HOU 40.

6:52 p.m. - Miller with a couple of yards on the run.

6:52 p.m. - Third and four. The receiver can't make it to the first down line.

6:53 p.m. - Lechler punts. Carrie gets stuffed at the OAK 10.

6:55 p.m. - Cooper with a one yard end-around run. 

6:56 p.m. - Second and 10. Washington with a big run to move the chains.

6:57 p.m. - Washington hit behind the line on the first down run.

6:57 p.m. - Washington drops the pass.

6:58 p.m. - Third and 10. Crabtree jumps to get the first down catch.

6:59 p.m. - Crabtree hit with a pass interference call. 

6:59 p.m. - Third and 21. Flag is down. False start against the Raiders.

7:00 p.m. - Roberts can't hold on to it. Time to punt.

7:01 p.m. - The return man takes it to the house, but oops, there is a roughing the kicker penalty against Houston.

7:02 p.m. - Raiders re-punt. Houston muffs the punt, but they recover.

7:03 p.m. - Os throws it away on first down.

7:04 p.m. - And the Texans run for a first down. That's the end of the third.

7:07 p.m. - Miller with maybe a yard on the run.

7:08 p.m. - Will Fuller takes it to the OAK 21.

7:09 p.m. - Second and seven. Pass interference against the Raiders puts the ball at the 1-yard line.

7:10 p.m. - Miller stopped at the line.

7:15 p.m. - Crabtree is out of the game, because shit, why not make things even worse.

7:16 p.m. - The deep pass to Cooper is broken up. 

7:16 p.m. - Third and 10. Rivera might have enough for a first down. 

7:17 p.m. - The pass to Roberts is batted down.

7:17 p.m. - Second and 10.

7:11 p.m. - Second and goal. And Os scrambles his way into the end zone.

7:11 p.m. - The XP is good. It's 27-7 Houston with about 12 minutes left in the fourth.

7:19 p.m. - Raiders at midfield. It is second and four.

7:19 p.m. - Holmes targeted for a first down.

7:20 p.m. - Rivera with a pick up. But it is negated for pass interference.

7:20 p.m. - First and 20. Holton can't hold on to it.

7:22 p.m. - Third and 16. Cook on the run. The pass is incomplete. Flag downfield.

7:23 p.m. - Touchdown Andre Holmes. It is an 8-yard reception.

7:24 p.m. - Sea-Bass is automatic. It's 27-14 Houston with 8 minutes left in the game.

7:27 p.m. - The back is hit at the line.

7:27 p.m. - Mack wraps up Miller at the line.

7:28 p.m. - Third and nine. The ball is deflected and incomplete.

7:29 p.m. - Time for Houston to punt.

7:29 p.m. - Richard hit at the 20.

7:32 p.m. - Cook hits the Cooper right at the first down marker.

7:32 p.m. - Second and one. Walford gets enough to move the chains.

7:33 p.m. - Holmes manages to take it into HOU territory.

7:33 p.m. - Cook avoids being sacked by Clowney - he just throws it away.

7:34 p.m. - Crabtree isn't returning. Incomplete to Cooper.

7:35 p.m. - Third and 10. The ball is picked off.

7:40 p.m. - Texans get a first down with 3:30 on the clock.

7:41 p.m. - Third and eight. The back is short of the first down marker.

7:43 p.m. - Fourth and two. Texans punt, Raiders take it at their own 7 with 2:06 on the clock.

7:44 p.m. - Seth Roberts gets a yard. And there's the two-minute warning.

7:48 p.m. - Rivera with a decent pick-up. Third and five.

7:48 p.m. - Incomplete by Cook.

7:49 p.m. - Fourth and five. That's enough to move the chains.

7:50 p.m. - Rivera with another first down pick-up.

7:51 p.m. - Rivera juggles it and drops it.

7:51 p.m. - Second and 10. Another incomplete pass. 

7:52 p.m. - Third and 10. McGloin looks so pissed on the sideline.

7:52 p.m. - And another incompletion. Fourth and 10.

7:52 p.m. - And that interception is the nail in the coffin. 

7:52 p.m. - Houston takes a knee. And that's all she wrote down in Houston. Our final score: Texans 27, Oakland 14. 

7:54 p.m. - That's the season, folks. A damn shame it had to end such a disappointing note, but alas, this dark cloud indeed has a silver lining ...


7:56 p.m. - Oh, fall can't get here quick enough...


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