Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Wonder Woman ISN'T Empowering, You Dumb Broads

If you think a movie based on a comic written by a polygamist bondage fetish is a blow for gender equality, you DESERVE that 77 cents to every dollar a man makes.

By: Jimbo X

For a moment
, just think how absurd it is for someone - ANYBODY - to take pride in a make-believe person. How bereft of living, breathing role models are you to vaunt a fantasy figure as some sort of exemplary pillar of whatever you think you represent? If anything, the celebration of non-existent, fictitious people ought to be your first clue that something ain't right with the identity politics group you associate with; even grade-schoolers can recognize such behavior as patently absurd and wrongheaded.

Which is why I just can't wrap my head around why so many "feminists" consider this new Wonder Woman movie to be such a huge blow for gender equality. Sure, the movie made $100 million its opening weekend, but due to inflated ticket costs and IMAX and 3D surcharge revenue, practically every mainstream Hollywood offering these days is guaranteed to reap the same amount of dough (for those of you in pursuit of the proof in the pudding, look no further than Split and its $276 million global gross.) And - as expected - Wonder Woman's second week box office dropoff was substantial, with the movie generating barely half it's opening weekend take. By week three, the film's domestic box office take was roughly a third its bombastic opening weekend gross - rather fittingly, that same week it was dethroned from the top of the B.O. by Cars 3, a film almost wholeheartedly anchored around the juvenile male fascination with machinery.

Still, the movie has posted formidable financial numbers. Three weeks in the film's total global gross is north of $500 million, although the movie's domestic take puts it well behind the heaps of cash generated by more male-centric superhero films such as Deadpool, Batman v. Superman and the Iron Man trilogy. When the abacuses are finally adjusted, it appears Wonder Woman will have made about two-thirds what Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 made, yet only half what the latest Fast and Furious movie grossed. So yes, while Wonder Woman is - for the most part - a relative economic success, it's not like it's an aberration to see a big-budget, Hollywood offering anchored around a heroic female lead making exorbitant sums of money. The Hunger Games movies have grossed well over $1 billion, while the two most recent Star Wars films - both of which had "heroic female leads" - have combined for a global gross of nearly $1.5 billion. And of course, that discounts the pioneering work of Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2, Angelina Jolie in The Tomb Raider films and Sigourney Weaver in the Alien franchise - that last one, a film that came out almost 40 years before this newfangled Wonder Woman allegedly shattered the cineplex gender barrier.

Still, the progressivist blog-o-sphere has convinced themselves that this Wonder Woman redux indeed represents some sort of poignant "female empowerment" milestone. The Guardian, for example, hailed the new film as "a masterpiece of subversive feminism." One HuffPo columnist wrote at length about how she found the film's intrinsic "fatherlessness" delightful. And at Bustle, columnist Kelsea Stahler wrote about how the film's fight scenes - essentially, the same old "Apocalypse Porn" CGI overkill we've been seeing at the multiplex for the last 20 years - literally moved her to tears because, this time, all of the wanton, consequence-less violence was being wrought by a fantasy character with a vagina instead of a penis. Interestingly, the same author described Wonder Woman as the first major female superhero film - which would be true, had films like Barb Wire and Tank Girl not been made 25 years ago (and for the record, Wonder Woman isn't even the first major D.C. super-heroine to get her own feature film - lest we forget, 2004's abysmal Catwoman and 1984's downright turgid Supergirl.) 

Rather than take these overly-emotional, hyperbolic displays of identity-politics-informed immaturity as signs of XX arrested development - lord knows, that's what the other would be saying about men who wept during The Avengers - the mass media machinery has latched onto the rebooted Wonder Woman as a genuine, "turning point" for gender equality in entertainment history. Much has been made about director Patty Jenkins - whose last movie sought to portray a psychotic murderess as a "victim" of our cruel, cruel patriarchal society - breaking the so-called "celluloid ceiling," but such is pure nonsense. Female directors like Jennifer Lee (Frozen), Vicky Jensen (Shrek), Catherine Hardwicke (Twilight) and Sam Taylor-Johnson (Fifty Shades of Grey) have already made bajillions of dollars at the box office, while Kathryn Bigelow has already taken home a Best Director Oscar (which, in one of the greatest cosmological coincidences of all-time, was in direct competition against her ex-husband.) Furthermore, Nora Ephron, Penny Marshall and Penelope Spheeris have been making financially successful, big-time Hollywood productions since the 1980s; indeed, women have been making quite the pretty penny directing big-budget opuses ever since the heyday of Leni Riefenstahl in the 1930s.

The feminist jubilee also strangely overlooks the fact the script was written by a gay man, based on story by two other men - all of whom, incidentally, just so happen to be Jewish. Or the fact all but one of the movie producers is female, or especially the fact the company that made the movie, Warner Bros., is a C-level sausage fest. Lost on all these whack-a-doodle feminist moonbeams is the inescapable reality that virtually all of the money they paid to see the movie will wind up in the coffers for rich as fuck Hebrew and Asian men. Ironically, by financially supporting the Hollywood Industrial Complex, all these Wonder Woman-loving women are doing nothing but making the virtually-all-male film industry executive brass even wealthier.

Along those same lines, none of these ever-so-chipper fangirls dare dwell the notion that Wonder Woman brazenly appropriates and rewrites patriarchal Greek mythology and actually demeans the millions of men who died in the trenches of World War I by attributing final victory to a super-powered Amazon. During the film's climax, it became clear why the film wasn't set during World War II - after all, revealing Hitler to be the literal, supernatural embodiment of toxic masculinity probably wouldn't have gone over too well with those of the Jewish persuasion (and more on that interesting little angle in just a bit, readers.) 

During the waning moments of the film, I felt sorry for all of the female lib types praising the movie. It became apparent that these flashy, computer generated acts of mock heroism is all they and their-alike ovaried kin can celebrate. After all, they weren't out there with machine guns traipsing over landmine strewn fields in Danzig, and they most certainly weren't chasing down Japanese war criminals in the Philippines. As men, we can take great gender pride in the valor and bravery of Sgt. York, Audie Murphy and Jack Churchill; yet while we can look up to Dwight Eisenhower and George Patton as patriarchal heroes, women have no battlefield greats to call their own. There is no female equivalent to Bhanbhagta Gurung or Tommy MacPherson - real life individuals whose bravery, selflessness and audacity in the conflagration of war serve as eternal testaments to the willpower and grit of the species. While our grandfathers and great grandfathers were fighting Hitler and Hirohito's war machine, our grandmothers and great grandmothers were left stateside canning tomatoes and maybe putting together spare car parts. World War II - the greatest drama in the history of mankind, bar none - is littered with courageous, valiant and noble male heroes, while the best feminine icon that can be culled from the epoch is Rosie the Riveter - yet another fictitious character supposedly embodying the power of womanhood. In that, to interject a gigantic sword swinging mega-woman into the middle of World War I as the savior of the West might just be the greatest example of contemporary feminists' profound penis envy we could ever hope for. 

Of course, one must wonder if this Wonder Woman truly is a symbol of women's empowerment, seeing as how the character was created by ... gasp ... somebody with a penis. But it's not just that Wonder Woman was created by a man, it's the fact the character was created by a man with a bizarre bondage fetish who admitted his creation was meant to be some sort of perverted dominatrix fantasy instead of a bona-fide female role model. Creator William Marston - a polygamist who said he was inspired to create the iconic character after watching sorority hazing rituals - NEVER set out to make Wonder Woman a valiant, patriotic figure a'la Superman or Captain America. Instead, he just wanted to get his jollies by repeatedly subduing his idealized female form. "The secret of a woman's allure (is that) women enjoy submission, being bound," he stated in one interview. Well, so much for that feminist narrative, eh?

Thankfully, there are still a couple of decent gals out there who haven't had their brains turned to mush by all that incessant third-wave feminist claptrap. Writing for The National Review, Heather Wilhelm succinctly sums up the inherent absurdity of the identity-politicization of the character: 

"Much of the hullabaloo, however, comes from the assertion that 'Wonder Woman' will empower women and encourage the positive 'representation' of women that is supposedly so rare in Hollywood. It achieves this representation, apparently, by featuring a gorgeous woman clad in metal lingerie who effortlessly deflects bullets with her bracelets and eventually upends a giant tank. This, we are to assume, will immediately inspire millions of little girls across America to rush home and launch their own neighborhood STEM-research teams."

Continuing, she notes how the syrupy response from "feminist" film-goers only serves to reinforce the old tropes about feminine weakness.

"For everyone's sake, avoid buying into the idea that women are fragile creatures who need a thousand different obsessive gender-based affirmations just to make it through life. Despite the anxiety-laden chorus of modern feminism, they aren't, and they don't."

Rather fittingly, however, the cannibal cult of intersectional feminism might just be looking to put a damper on the Wonder Woman love-in. Even before the movie came out, the United Nations was pressured to stop using the character as an honorary ambassador of women's rights because - surprise! - she's just too damn white for some people's liking.

And then there's that old Jewish question. As it turns out, the latest incarnation of Wonder Woman is played by one of God's Chosen People, and if you think that's sitting well with the Muslim populace, think again, muchacho. 

Enter Al Jazeera's Susab Abulhawa, whose Palestinian roots give her permission to criticize Jews without everything that comes out of her mouth begin automatically declared "anti-Semitism." In an especially abrasive screed, she more or less declared Wonder Woman to be a miniature war crime because the bitch under the tiara, Gal Gadot, was a member of the Israeli army in 2006. Let's let Abulhawa herself take it from here, why don't we?

"Discussions of feminism around this film have sidelined this crucial fact about her. They've omitted the actor's cheering of wanton killing, which took the lives of 547 children in less than two months. Instead, the focus is on her impossible physical proportions. This is just another way that the destruction of our society is normalized."

Well day-umm, and here I was thinking the only acceptable political undercurrent for the new Wonder Woman flick was "fuck men!" But no, Abulhawa ain't quite finished yet ...

"Make no mistake. Zionism cannot reconcile with feminism, and such antiquated imperial feminism belongs to another era, when feminists fought for the right to vote, but only for white women."

Of course, that's a flat out lie seeing as how the ratification of the 19th Amendment allowed women of all colors to participate in the electoral tradition, but FACTS are just a part of the evil, white, Jewish patriarchal war machine, you TOOL! To finish off her spiel, Abulhawa qyotes Jaime Omar Yassin, a member of the Occupy Oakland organization:

"Feminism cannot be Zionist, just as it cannot be neo-Nazi - feminism that doesn't have an understanding of how it intersects with racial and ethnic oppression is simply a diversification of white supremacy."

Well, there you have it ladies. If you think Wonder Woman is empowering, you're actually supporting white oppression and Islamophobia. And you fine, outstanding women wouldn't want to be doing that, now, would you?

Of course you wouldn't, you thoughtful, little multiculturalists, you. Of course you wouldn't.


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