Sunday, December 16, 2018


If you thought the first game was offensive — you ain't seen nothing yet!

By: Jimbo X
The Internet Is In America on Voat

When the first The Angry Goy game was released in early 2017, I was plum certain it was going to create an absolute digital entertainment moral pandemic the likes of which haven’t been seen since the heyday of Mortal Kombat and Doom.

Oddly enough, though, the freeware offering only drew light mainstream media indignation — which is strange, because today’s aggrievement-collecting press seems like they’d NEVER turn down an opportunity to wallow in self-righteous outrage about anything.

Alas, that seems to be the same fate of The Angry Goy 2, a freeware sequel released a few months back that — despite getting berated by Newsweek — hasn’t exactly drawn the type of mass furor you’d expect a white-supremacy-advocating video game about mass murdering Jews and homosexuals to garner in these oh-so-sensitive times.

As the case with the first game, nobody's really sure who's behind the game. Really, developer "Wheel Maker Studios" could be a lone dude with too much time on his hands in a basement somewhere or it could be a renegade clique of indie game designers who really wanted to piss off as many demographics as possible with one piece of software. Of course, conspiracy theories abound that it's actually a "honeypot" designed by the FBI to trap online racists, but so far, that thesis hasn't been validated ... at least, to the best of my knowledge, anyway.

Yeah, I don't know who the hell three-quarters of these people are supposed to be, either.

Considering the simplicity of the gameplay, it's a lot easier to evaluate The Angry Goy 2 as interactive propaganda than an actual video game. At this point, I'm not even going to pretend that I'm "offended" or "outraged" by the contents of the game — I mean, if you're going to say the First Amendment doesn't apply to alt-right freeware games, you're a pure-D hypocrite to turn around and say games like Far Cry 5 and Red Dead Redemption 2 and Mafia 3 should be allowed to exist too, since they likewise "promote" violence against the ghastly cultural other. Shit, the entire video game industry has made BILLIONS off giving teenagers the ability to blow virtual Nazis heads off for the last 30 years — just for the sake of free expression, you'd figure all those First Amendment supporters would be champing at the bit to defend this one in the court of public taste.

Before we get into the sociopolitical themes and elements of the game — by the way, good luck finding any gameplay footage, since the video playthroughs have been banned on the YouTubes — I suppose it's only fair that we first discuss the merits of The Angry Goy 2 as a "legitimate" video game. Conceptually, it's quite similar to the first game, except far more refined in terms of gameplay. The overall mechanics are pretty much yanked from Hotline Miami, and the controls are much smoother than the first go-at-it. The level design is a little bit better, although in the latter stages there does seem to be some repetitive elements sneaking in there. But where the developers of this game, whoever they may be, truly outdid themselves is in the replay department. Unlike the first game, you actually have an incentive to play the game more than once, since the title offers a TON of collectibles and unlockables. Indeed, the game gives you a grand total of 21 different characters to control, all of whom come with their own idiosyncratic ranged and melee weapons.

As with the first game, the synth music (I can't recall the names of the artists off the top of my head, though) is pretty decent. The title card depicts a caricature of Sam Hyde, with artwork allegedly supplied by "Ben Garrison." From there, the player has two gameplay modes to select — campaign or survival. And since campaign is the more story-oriented of the two, so that's where the bulk of this review is going to focus. After that you get to select the difficulty level (from the hardest, the "Chad Lonewolf" to the easiest, "the virgin three-man-team) and your avatar. All in all, it's a pretty robust lineup here, featuring everybody from Moonman to Andrew Jackson to Jesus Christ to Hitler. Anybody who thinks Super Smash Bros. constitutes an awe-inspiring video game crossover DEFINITELY ought to check out the all-star assortment in this sumbitch.

A quick opening cut scene lets us know that President Donald Trump has been kidnapped by left wing radicals, in essence making this whole game an oblique parody of Bad Dudes. Before long the player is immediately thrust into Act 1, which takes place in something called "The Communist Headquarters."

Oh, so THAT's why they call it the "slippery slope" and all.

At the beginning of the stage your avatar gets locked out of an ATM machine — subtly, called the "RoboBanker6M" — because he made anti-Semitic remarks on Facebook. Once you actually infiltrate the building, you encounter a gaggle of Antifa-like dissidents, who chant things like "no borders, no walls, no USA at all," "Black lives matter, "Fuck you Nazi" and "I smoke weed." Most of this level is a labyrinthine series of dingy offices, with "Fuck Drumpf" graffiti and Soviet sickle posters all over the walls. There's a lot of Easter eggs to be found —Das Kapital posters, fliers reading "Death to White America," etc. — although I'm not quite sure I understand most of the references the game keeps throwing at you.

So you've got a cursor that points your projectile fire across the screen, and every now and then you have to stop to reload (it's an automatic function that leaves you defenseless for about three to five seconds.) Basically, you just move room-to-room clearing out hordes of enemies like in Robotron or Gauntlet ... except with WAY more "Gas The Whites, Race War NOW" graffiti all over the walls. 

Oh, and as a nice touch ... none of the communist enemies in the first level are armed, no doubt a testament to their loathing of the Second Amendment. Hey — the people who made this game may be nothing more than unrepentant racists, but you CAN'T say they don't have a keen eye for details. And as for your avatar's weapons, well, you get a pretty diverse array of offensive equipment, running the gamut from M203s to M16A4s to ... Zelda swords? Hey, these guys must have some might large sackage to even dare putting that in the game, consider just how litigious the Big N is nowadays.

Cue the first boss fight of the game: a showdown with "The Red Terror," which is basically just "The Happy Merchant" wearing a hijab with a commie sickle on it. Pretty much all of the boss fights play out just like this one — they have slightly larger projectile spray patterns, but as long as you get in close and unload as fast as you can, practically all of them can be defeated in less than a minute.

And if you can't figure out what's going on here ... well, good.

Act 2 takes characters to the "LGBTQP+ Agenda and Headquarters," where NAMBLA posters are all over the walls and you're attacked by naked dudes carrying rainbow flags the second you step foot on the compound. "I was born this way," they shout — as well as "bake my cake" and "I have AIDS."

So you navigate your way through the maze-like bath houses and billiards rooms with S&M equipment on the walls (this game DEFINITELY has a better level layout than the first one, for sure) and eventually you rescue a kidnapped Mike Pence, whose says he tazed a couple of homosexuals and needs some antibiotics now. You know, for all the people accusing this game of homophobia, I think it's downright disingenuous to not at least acknowledge the game's satirical shots at Pence. I mean, this sequence is TOTALLY mocking the VP for his pseudo-scientific beliefs, but will anybody on the left give the developers same dap for at least going after both sides of the "gay" debate? Eh — I guess true "centrism" truly is dead in today's America.

Anyhoo, the boss here is the "Progress Master" — a villain who looks just like a certain Canadian prime minister, who threatens to rape some tolerance into you after offering you free tranny prostitutes and heroin. As I was referencing earlier, this boss battle plays out like every other one in the game ... just avoid the long range projectiles, unload en masse when you can get a free shot, and if it takes you more than 30-45 seconds, wow, you must really suck at video games.

Act 3 takes us to "The Diverse Urban Area." That's codeword for "slums," by the way. The level begins with Officer Darren Wilson telling your  avatar that "negroes brought crime and poverty" to America's once-thriving suburbs and he gives you a new weapon before your character enters the hood. There are posters reading "Whitey Owes You Money" all over the walls, and it isn't long before an armada of black caricatures (including pimps with that one meme face) start attacking you in droves. Eventually, you enter a "Wakand-Mart" that seems to sell nothing but Skittles, then the background turns into a mosque where Muslims — rather subtly, all of whom LITERALLY have towels on their heads — attack you with scimitars. Then there's more slum to crawl through and more hordes of minstrel show characters to gun down. Eventually, you rescue PewDiePie (who, naturally, drops the dreaded "n-word" in his nasally Swedish inflection a few times), and the boss fight is against "The Gentle Giant," this enormous black stereotype who ... bounces a basketball towards you?

This might come as a surprise, but no, David Hogg isn't exactly an expert at close-quarters combat ...

Act 4 is a siege on the "Fake News Network" studio, which, obviously, is a riff on ... that's right, PBS. The long-anticipated "NPC" meme finally makes its appearance in the game, as a Jewish caricature blames the avatar's multicultural murder spree on Trump, guns, free speech ("It's what allowed Hitler to kill six billion Jews," he says) and "all patriotic white men."

Sadly, this is  pretty uninspired level ... it's just one parcel of generic office building after another. The enemies are dressed just like 1950s-era reporters, for whatever reason, complete with trench coats and press cards in their hats. This leads to a mini-boss fight against David Hogg, who says he can beat you in unarmed combat ... and yeah, it goes about as well for him as you'd imagine.

The main boss fight in this stage is against the "Media Boss Shill," this Jewish guy with a jetpack who wonders out loud how much money all of his employees getting killed will save him in insurance costs.

What the ... anti-Semitic content in a pro-white supremacy video game? I am SHOCKED.

And that brings us to the fifth and final level — "The Global Jewish Supremacy Headquarters." There's a giant statue of Shlomo Goldstein outside, as the "midnight Jew crew" spray paints a swastika on their own building as part of some sort of hate crime hoax.

Inside a large library, rabbis attack you with scrolls and menorahs, all while shouting "It's another Shoah!" "Oh, vey" and calling your character "a fore-skinned monster.") There's also charts on the wall showing how testosterone levels go down as Jewish control of the media goes up. Then you shoot your way through a synagogue and crawl through more generic office space (thankfully, this game did away with that cumbersome old soda machine health system from the first game ... now more pick-me-ups are just scattered around the general playing scape.) Eventually, you get around to saving Jared Taylor (who even pronounces it as "hu-white," just like the REAL Jared Taylor) and he implores you to continue the fight against the "true enemy," the negro.

Time for the game's final boss fight, this one against "the Rootless Cosmopolitan," a character who says he "recognizes you from the SPLC HateWatch updates." Unfortunately, he's too weak to operate his own firearm, stating repeatedly that the gun is really heavy, thanks to its Jewish engineering. And after he's dispatched, Donald Trump is rescued and a real Trump speech plays over the background and then a parody of "I'm Gonna' Be (500 Miles)" starts playing (with references to the Holocaust wedged in there for good measure) and then the player is given a message that The Angry Goy 2 is dedicated "to all the white children whose future has been stolen by the Jews and their collaborators and the civilian victims of the Allied bombings during World War II." Oh, and the game is also dedicated to Hitler, because ... well, shit, why wouldn't you expect the makers of this game to dedicate the fruits of their labor to Hitler?

Apparently, making the Charlottesville stage a driving mini-game was too much even for these guys.

And that, folks, is The Angry Goy 2 in a nutshell. In case you were wondering, the "survival mode" is just your standard "survive-the-Zerg-rush" mini-game, in which you try to kill as many enemy waves as possible while "defending" that one Confederate statue in Charlottesville. There's really not much to say about that mode at all — in fact, just seeing one screen shot shows you the extent of the gameplay being offered, honestly.

So, yeah, from an objective standpoint, The Angry Goy 2 is a much improved game from the original The Angry Goy, although calling it a "good game" is still very much a stretch. Even if you're a gold-tier contributor to The Daily Stormer's legal defense fund and have "1488" tattooed on your scrotum, I doubt you'll get more than a couple of hours of entertainment out of the experience. Hunting down the collectibles and unlocking the new characters definitely extends the shelf life of the game, but it's hard to imagine anyone — regardless of their political leanings — getting anything beyond 20, maybe 30, hours before getting bored and moving on to something else. 

The shortcomings of the game — technically-speaking — are obvious. The gameplay is too simple, the stages are too short and the boss fights are too unchallenging. The lack of a proper multiplayer mode takes a lot of sheen off the package, too — too bad, because even a local co-op mode could've given this game considerably longer legs.

Now, as a  social statement, does The Angry Goy 2 have ANY kind of artistic worth? Well, it's pretty obvious that the messaging of the game comes off as juvenile and crass as possible, but again, it's all presented in such an over-the-top cartoonish fashion that it's hard to think any impressionable youngster would automatically become a neo-Nazi after playing this game. The Angry Goy 2 is the epitome of "preaching to the choir" rhetoric — the kind of politicking that's meant to cater to those who are already "true believers," with vitriol so strong it's an automatic turnoff to normies on both the left and the right. 

The mainstream masses may not want to accept it as such, but ultimately, The Angry Goy 2 is a satirical work, and one that enjoys that same constitutional protection as any number of media that presents unprovoked violence against "bigots" as a moral imperative. Yes, it is crude and callous and prejudiced and repugnant and hateful, but you know what? As long as we've got a First Amendment, it's allowed to be, and if you don't like it, tough titties. I'd stand up and support the inverse of this game — one where you kill miscellaneous alt-right stock characters — just as much, because I realize as long as our tribalistic furies remain fictitious "art," it might just keep us from engaging in real life mayhem

So if you're looking for gloriously un-P.C. agitprop that tramples over every single sacred cow and "protected" minority in contemporary U.S. society, The Angry Goy 2 isn't too hard to find. Unfortunately, if you're looking for a 2D retro-revivalist game that's actually good, though ... I'm afaid there's not much here to appeal to you, whatsoever.


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