Sunday, December 9, 2018

The Thing Nobody Understands About Incels ...

If you think the "involuntary celibate" movement is all about sex ... think again.

By: Jimbo X
The Internet Is In In America on Voat

The first time I heard the term “involuntary celibate,” it was about five years ago when my college roommate showed me the now WAY-defunct website “Governments Get Girlfriends,” in which some obviously mentally-disturbed young man ranted and raved over a proposal to get the feds to pay women to go on dates with men with crippling social anxiety problems. Naturally, the media/Internet hive-mind’s response was to mercilessly mock the man behind the site, accusing him of engaging in sexual activity with his own mother and requesting that he commit suicide for saying things they personally disagreed with.

Needless to say, the approved public reception of the so-called “incel” movement hasn’t gotten any better, with the term now used as a ubiquitous pejorative to describe young men aesthetically, financially and communicatively unappealing to the opposite sex — which, in and of itself, seems to be an awfully classist, ableist and quasi-racist worldview for so-called “progressives” to port about.

Regardless,  the “involuntary celibate” stereotype  has caught on with the “normies,” it appears. Indeed, one can now watch episodes of Law and Order, in which ridiculous caricatures of “incels” literally pistol whip jocks and cheerleaders to death while lambasting them as “Chads” and “Stacies.” In today’s “diversity at all costs” milieu, the grand collective has apparently found its post-multiculturalism whipping boy in the form of socially-withdrawn white boys, almost always depicted as impenitently misogynistic, irredeemably racist and so cosmetically abhorrent that the idea of them ever having consensual sexual relations with a living female is considered a veritable impossibility.

And as we all now, the best way to win ANY party over, of course, is to perpetually degrade them and shame them in public, constantly castigating them as cultural undesirables undeserving of individual affection, admiration or affection. Surely, endlessly berating and brutalizing “incels” as people with no places in contemporary society — who aren’t even worthy of communicating with women, let alone having sex with them — is the best way to change their perspectives, and in no way will cause them to slip out of social engagement even further or reinforce their negative outlooks on women.

It wasn’t long ago that we reviewed the magnum opus of the alleged “incel” movement, “My Twisted World,” penned by mass murdering Hapa Elliot Rodger shortly before he embarked upon his infamous seven-fatality Isla Vista killing spree back in 2014. Since then, the anti-incel feministas out there have equated Rodger as the patron saint of the movement, painting him as some sort of martyr for the “can’t get laid” crowd. This despite, Rodger’s very effete and feminine nature — indeed, many an observer has postulated that he was a closeted homosexual who lashed out in grandiloquent mayhem because he couldn’t come to terms with his own longing for other men’s  wee-wees and bum-bums, which seems to be a common characteristic among many of these lamentable mass shooter sorts.

Furthermore, few acknowledge that the alleged misogynist actually killed more men than women during his homicide spree. Indeed, if anything, one might want to declare Rodger’s rampage as a display of raging Anti-Asian sentiment instead of anti-woman fury, considering half the people he killed were all Chinese men in their late teens and early twenties. Still, Rodger nonetheless became the face of the anti-”incel” movement, with mainstream media outlets like the BBC still referring to him as “an incel hero” nearly five years after his death.

And for those adamantly opposed to the “incel” movement, the whole thing boils down to sex. They reckon the SOLE reason all of these Internet-addicted low-lives on the so-called “Man-O-Sphere” hate the womenfolk so much is because they refuse to fork over the reproductive organs to them at the drop of a hat, that they genuinely believe they are entitled to the poon whenever and wherever they’d like.

You know, long before “incel” became an en vogue term, I remember an entirely different term being applied to socially withdrawn young men hopelessly distraught over their failures at achieving and maintaining romances — love-shyness.

In fact, going as far back to 1987 academics like Dr. Brian G. Gillman were conducting these long-ass studies and pumping out 700-page reports on the phenomenon of young men addled with the dual mental afflictions of severe social anxiety and feelings of  (perceived) unworthiness and unattractiveness to the opposite sex.

Ultimately, what Gillman concluded was that these men — he estimated about 1.5 percent of the U.S. male populace falls into such a category, by the way — had such pronounced emotional and mental pain not because nobody wanted to have sex with them, but because nobody admired or appreciated them.

Long story short, the “love-shy” individuals Gillman writes about aren’t obsessed with vag, they’re obsessed with falling in love. They want that warmth, that closeness, that intimacy with another person. They want someone to cherish and for someone to cherish them. As crappy as Blade Runner 2049 may have been, it did do a pretty good job of depicting the whole “waifu”-obsessed, socially isolated nature of the contemporary “involuntary celibate.” From the dawn of the written word our iliads and odes and epic poems have all been paeans to love, that remarkable sensation where you feel a genuine emotional connection to another person. Just how many songs and movies are out there that celebrate love and affection, anyway? Our culture promotes “love” as the absolute greatest state one may experience.

And yeah, I’d reckon having such a beautiful phenomenon denied to you while alloted to seemingly everybody else would indeed make an individual feel mighty miffed about the world.

If you think legalized prostitution or high-tech sexbots is going to “cure” incels, think again. Sexual release is a momentary bodily pleasure — what these incels are really after is that connective relationship. Someone to talk to, to hug, to love, to confess to. This whole incel thing has never been about sex and sex alone — it’s always been a matter of reciprocal emotional intimacy.

The frank reality is actually an inversion of the mainstream, pop cultural narrative. Indeed, in real life, it’s the men who seek romance in a relationship and the women who are just in it for temporary thrills.

Just three out of 10 millennials in the United States are married. Meanwhile, millennial birth rates have plummeted, to the point the percentage of young women who had given birth to at least one child dropped 15 percent over a mere five-year period. Thanks to easily accessible (and, often, taxpayer-subsidized) birth control, millennial and Gen Z women can shag and bump uglies until their vulvas look like Arby’s roast beef sliders and not once have to worry about the inconveniences of motherhood. As a result, we’re seeing a deluge of young women with a preposterously high number of sexual partners, but nothing that could be rightly deemed a true, long-term relationship whatsoever.

And they’re more than content with that loveless sexual exploration — that is, up until their biological clocks go on the fritz, their ovaries shrivel up and they realize they’ll never propagate the species as god intended. Such is the lamentable downward trajectory of the cat lady and the “cool wine aunt” — take one look at the Women’s Marchers and it’ll show you the end outcomes of “sexual liberation” have been neither “sexual” or “liberating” for women in the slightest.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say many millennial and Gen Z women don’t want chivalry or even amorous commitment in their relationships with males. But what many of them do want, of course, is perpetual affirmation of their desirability. How else do you explain the astonishingly high number of young women who post nude photos of themselves on Twitter, Instagram and Reddit just for the egotistical rush? And the less said about those who have monetized their own exhibitionism — IRS audits, aside — the better.
They constantly flaunt their sexuality publicly, but for some inexplicable reason, take offense when they’re criticized for their promiscuity. How ironic that “slut shaming” is now a social taboo, yet “virgin shaming” has become perfectly acceptable behavior.

Our cultural milieu absolutely demands unblinking reverence of women. We’re supposed to view them as intellectual and emotional superiors, yet at the same time, an oppressed, subjugated minority … even though, technically, women outnumber men in just about every developed country in the world. Feminism and women’s empowerment and the #MeToo movement are all spokes on the same proverbial bicycle wheel — the supposed cultural creed that it’s men who collectively owe women and not the other way around. Oh, those proud “feminists” don’t want your cat-calls or your leering eyes on the subway, but you better believe they want as many PayPal contributions and taxpayer-subsidized Plan B as they can get their paws on. Sigh — if only women respected men’s wallets as much as they want men to respect their bodies.

Of course, there’s a pronounced media bias when it comes to the “legitimacy” of gender rights movements. Virtually all women’s-identity movements are posited as intractably right, whereas all men’s-right advocates are posited as morally and logically wrong-headed. Third-wave feminism is essentially an established dogma of the American academia complex, while the term “misandry” is dismissed as a social science impossibility alongside “reverse racism.”

From my vantage point, incels have every reason in the world to be outraged and upset. They’ve grown up in a world that mandates they show respect — if not flat out subservience— to women, while the world at large depicts them as intrinsically flawed specimens who deserve their ostracization and contempt, almost like a negative birthright.

But the true tragedy of the incel is demonstrated by the movement’s alleged patron saint. Page after page of “My Twisted World” paints the story of a tortured young man who just wanted to experience the same ecstasy of amore that song after song on the radio pays tribute. Elliot Rodger’s rampage wasn’t the end dividend of blue balls or some foaming resentment of women. What it was was the last, desperate tragic act of a young man who simply decided that he would spend the rest of his life unloved and unappreciated, individually and collectively, whose emotional and spiritual longings would always be deemed illegitimate by the world at large.

He simply decided he’d rather be dead than alone, and unfortunately, a whole bunch of innocent people got taken down with him. He was the product of a culture that encouraged shunning, that encourages the stratification of the sexes. Ultimately, Rodger is what happens when a culture decides that the feelings of one group must always be esteemed, whereas those of another are perfectly OK to mock, ridicule and discount.

Simply put, incels are individuals stuck in a world that constantly reminds them that their innermost pangs and longings for in-group approval and individual appreciation isn’t equal to those of the fairer sex. From birth, they’re instructed that their pain (and indeed, their totalistic worth) is less than that of women. Incels are people that want nothing more than to be loved, but all society at large reciprocates is fuming hatred that they even exist.

Which, to me, seems to be as good a reason as any to be angry young man these days.

1 comment:

  1. So, uh, yeah.

    I have several criticisms but I'm going to pair it down to this main point.

    You're explaining this to the wrong people. Anyone that's thought about this more than two seconds (Read: People whose world-view is probably not informed by Law and Order), understands that sex is not the solution to their problem and that what they want and actually desire is meaningful human connection.

    So, when you say "Gillman writes about aren’t obsessed with vag, they’re obsessed with falling in love." You're aren't using quotation marks for a reason. Because Gillman recognizes that's the nature of their desire but THE SUBJECTS THEMSELVES do not and construct for themselves a world that reinforces masculine toxicity and their personal failures as represented in their inability to have a physically intimate relationship. And, yes, THEY see the physical aspect of that and not the emotional aspect because they are convinced their feelings and how they deal with them are not actually the problem.

    I was an incel through my 20's, but I never allowed myself to be consumed by my most toxic thoughts and would have, even then, balked at the kind of society blaming shit you're peddling here.

    You can't help people that don't want help and don't think they're the problem. You can blame the world all you want, the world will not notice.


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