Monday, March 18, 2019

This Week in Social Justice Warrior-Dom (March 18, 2019 Edition!)

Trigger warning activated! Our biweekly recap of everything that irked, irritated and aggravated SJWs is back with a vengeance!

By: JimboX

U.K. officially goes full cuck and makes residents LITERALLY obtain a wanking license

It’s not exactly new, revelatory information to state that the United Kingdom — once home to the greatest empire in human history — has quickly turned a reverse Orwellian nightmare, hellbent on achieving its own cultural suicide as soon as humanly possible. But even in a land that arrests people for teaching their pugs how to Sieg Heil and spends heaps of taxpayers’ moolah on turning police cruisers homosexual, the latest and greatest example of hyper nanny-statism out of the U.K. seems almost impossible to believe: so fearful of the young ‘uns being exposed to debauchery on the Web, the entire fuckin’ country is set to enact a nationwide policy forcing people to enter their credit card information before accessing internet porn.

As part of the Digital Economy Act, all “commercial” pornographic websites accessible in the U.K. — and that includes all of the heavy hitters like Pornhub, XHamster and, our personal favorite, AShemaleTube.Com — will now be forced to ask users to put in their financial information before getting a quick knobbin’ in, and else face a fine of approximately $330,000 for failure to comply.

Of course, the backers of the law promise they won’t charge users for looking at fat women farting in each other’s mouths, but as The Manchester Evening News reports, there are nonetheless some concerns about users’ privacy rights. “You’re requiring people to effectively announce the fact they are looking at this material to the credit card authorities,” states Oxford Internet Institute representative Dr. Joss Wright. “And there’s serious security issues from requiring people to enter their credit card details into untrusted sites.”

Perhaps it’s not surprising that the same nation that tried to ban Child’s Play 3 and The Evil Dead is now trying to make it harder … if not financially perilous … to seek out formerly freely accessible smut. Alas, the strangely puritanical stance has its obvious progressive underpinnings — namely, that lawmakers are afraid that “physical and verbal abuse,” “roleplay as non-adults” and, for some reason, “female ejaculation,” will turn the Britons of tomorrow into hideously misogynist chauvinists.

Open Rights Group Executive Director Jim Killock brought up the obvious complications of such a system to The Guardian. “It might lead to people being outed,” he said. It could also be you’re a teacher with an unusual sexual preference and your pupils get to know that as result of  leak. It won’t get you sacked for viewing something legal, but it could destroy your reputation.”

So, in other words, Britons are being asked to LITERALLY install an all-seeing eye in their residences that records every sexually deviant Google search they make — but surely, the government would never, EVER take advantage and exploit such a mechanism, especially in a country where thousands of people each year are being arrested for being too critical of “protected populations” on Twitter.
Now, one might be inclined to wonder if the U.K. government wouldn’t be above forcing such restrictions and requirements for ALL search engine queries and social media posts on ALL of its residents … you know, to fight “intolerance” and “hate” and all that other stuff that U.K. law enforcement agencies themselves have no idea how to define.

Sure, sure, the fine folks in Parliament might say the measure is to protect children from seeing bushes and wang-doodles and bizarre sexual behaviors involving bicycle pumps, but let’s cut the malarkey; this is just the first step to the U.K. government seizing complete and total power over what its citizens see and do on the “free” Web, in turn, completing the final circuit to becoming “Big Brother” made flesh.

And depending on how things shake out politically over the next few years, don’t be surprised if us Yanks in the States will also have to enter sensitive personal data to the government before spewin’ our juices to Larkin Love and Tara Tainton within a decade or two; I mean, how else did you expect the “sexual revolution” to turn out except in technological tyranny?

Welcome to the new normal: Joe Biden forced to apologize for saying hardened criminals deserve to go to jail 26 years ago

Depending on which poll you look at, Joe Biden is probably the current de facto frontrunner for the Democratic ticket in 2020. Alas, despite spending eight years playing the race and gender-swapped mamie for Barack Obama, Biden’s bid for the White House could be undone before it even officially begins. Uncle Joe’s campaign-derailing misstep, you might be wondering? Why, that one time he said criminals out to be punished back in 1993.

“We have predators on our streets that society has in fact, in part because of its neglect, created,” the then-Senator from Delaware stated in C-Span footage recently unearthed by CNN. “A cadre of young people, tens of thousands of them, born out of wedlock, without parents, without supervision, without any structure, without any conscience developing because they literally, because they literally have not been socialized.”

Continuing, Biden states that “we should focus on them now, if we don’t they will, or a portion of them will, become the predators 15 years from now,” and that “we have no choice but to take them out of society.” Of course, thanks to insightful documentaries like 13th, we now know that not only are those individuals Biden spoke of NOT so-called “super-predators,” literally EVERY black person accused of any crime over the last 25 years was actually innocent, therefore making his absurd declaration that people who commit violent activities ought to be locked up both hyperbolic and goddamn racist, to boot.

Only time will tell if the Biden campaign recovers from such a horrific gaffe. But if there’s one thing I can tell you about the modern Democratic Party, it’s that such archaic, prejudicial ideas like the covert white supremacist notion that violent sociopaths ought to be imprisoned for raping and murdering people simply will NOT be tolerated.

Rappers to Supreme Court: “Let’s kill these cops ‘cause they don’t do us no good” is political commentary, not witness intimidation

We here at The Internet Is In America are some First Amendment-lovin’ motherfuckers, but even we must admit that the guaranteed right to free expression has its limits. For example, as free as free expression may be in these United States, you probably shouldn’t be able to publish people’s credit card numbers online, or upload videos of eight-year-olds getting trains run on them by Somali migrants. But beyond that, we’re pretty much fine and dandy with everything else one may say or do, which makes us unlikely allies with Pittsburgh-area rappers Mayhem Mal and Souja Beaz, who are petitioning the Supreme Court of the United States to overturn a Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruling that their song “Fuck The Police” — not to be confused with N.W.A.’s venerable torch song “Fuck tha Police” — wasn’t constitutionally protected speech.
Long story short? The rappers — whose real names are Jamal Knox and Rashee Beasley, respectively — recorded the song after being arrested in 2012. The song, which was uploaded to YouTube, made explicit references to the two arresting officers, as evidenced by lyrics such as:

“This first verse is for Officer Zeltner and all you fed force bitches/And Mr. Kosko, you can suck my dick you keep on knocking my riches/You want beef, well cracker I’m wit it, that whole department can get it/All these soldiers in my committee gonna fuck over you bitches/Fuck the, fuck the police, bitch, I said it loud.”

Well, that’s not too bad, I suppose. I mean, it’s not like the rappers then describe, in graphic detail, how they’d like to MURDER said officers or anything. Well, except for this one part that goes:

“They tunin’ in, well Mr. Fed, if you can hear me bitch/Go tell your daddy that we’re boomin’ bricks/And them informants that you got, gonna be layin’ in the box/And I know exactly who workin’, and I’m gonna kill him wit a Glock/Quote that. Cause when you find that pussy layin’ in the street/Look at the shells and put my shit on repeat, and that’s on Jesus’ blood/Let’s kill these cops cuz they don’t do us no good/Pullin’ your Glock out cause I live in the hood/You dirty bitches, bitch!”

The big strategic error here is that the rappers released the album while awaiting trial on gun charges. And since the two arresting officers were going to be witnesses at said trial, I guess you can figger it out that the D.A. was quick to flag the track as blatant witness intimidation.

Earlier this month, an all-star list of rap royalty like morbidly obese Bernie Sanders supporter Killer Mike, Chance the Rapper (yes, the guy from the candy bar commercials) and recent deportee 21 Savage filed a legal brief to SCOTUS, letting the robed ones in D.C. know that such hyper-violent, unrepentantly racist lyricism is pure art and that they’d have to be plum fools to not take up the case and remand that bitch like a motherfucker.

And we here at IIIA are indeed unironically rooting for Mayhem Mal and Soulja Beaz to be vindicated by the Supreme Court. I mean, shit, how can anybody hate a rap group that writes homages to Hitler, anyway?

Brazilian president becomes first world leader to post gay scat porn on social media

Ever since he became president earlier this year, Brazilian head honcho Jair Bolsonaro has faced constant comparisons to Donald Trump, with many of his political rivals accusing him of being a far right strongman in the making. But it wasn’t until Mr. Bolsonaro took to Twitter to ask the masses a peculiar inquiry earlier this month  that the “impeachment train” started to truly rev up.

The whole flap began March 6, when Bolsonaro tweeted out a seemingly innocuous question — all he wanted was for someone to explain to him what a “golden shower” was. Well, the internet being the internet, it wasn’t long before the World Wide Web hoi polloi told Jair way more than he ever wanted to know, and it was only a matter of minutes ‘til he was back on Twitter … this time, to share videos of apparent homosexual Carnival revelers fisting each others’ anuses on the city streets before giving each other hot, sticky piss baths right then and there in public.

“Bolsonaro’s tweets are, from start to finish, incompatible with the position he occupies,” anti-Jairist Ilona Szabo told The Washington Post. “A president has the obligation to act with a minimum amount of decorum. He shows a lack of poise and responsibility. He is completely out of touch with reality.”

Welcome to the new world order, folks — where being disgusted by men urinating on each other for sexual gratification makes you the one out of touch.

The Simpsons embraces the newfound Hollywood trend of retroactive self censoring by yanking 28-year-old episode from circulation

Once upon a time, The Simpsons was considered cutting-edge television. Indeed, up until that whole Armin Tamzarian nonsense, the program could rightly be considered a candidate for best TV show everif not the most eerily prophetic one, to boot. Alas, the now 30-year-old program has been around so long that, now, it’s producers have taken it upon themselves to begin editing their own product out of history to behoove special interests. Indeed, in the wake of that whole post-Leaving Neverland brouhaha, executive producer James L. Brooks has announced that one of the show’s most beloved episodes — which featured the voicework of Michael Jackson — is being removed from both television rotation and streaming services. “This was a treasured episode,” Brooks told CNN. “There are a lot of great memories we have wrapped up in that one, and this certainly doesn’t allow them to remain. I’m against book burning of any kind. But this is our book, and we’re allowed to take out a chapter.”

Thankfully, all of this self-congratulatory self-censoring is giving the producers of the show ample time to create episodes in which Bart joins a gang of “woke” girls “who commit crimes against the patriarchy” — an episode that surely won’t be self-banned in the future, primarily because nobody in their right goddamn mind would ever want to watch it in the present.

Georgia legislator pushing “Testicular Bill of Rights”

As evident by her namesake, Georgia State Rep. Dar’shun Kendrick is a sassy black female lawmaker and by sheer identity politicking default, abhors the General Assembly’s ongoing efforts to pass a bill banning abortion in the state once a fetus’ heartbeat can be detected. Of course, this puts Kendrick in a rather precarious political position — one in which she openly advocates for public policy that disproportionately kills black people and almost as if by social engineering ensures less African-Americans will be born in her home state for the foreseeable future. Of course, rather than see this as the slow state-endorsed ethnic cleansing of her own peoples in the name of “fem lib,” Kendrick views such as another chapter in the much ballyhooed “War on Women,” which recently inspired her to drum up her own legislation clamping down on “men’s reproductive health.

Among other suggestions, Kendrick looks to make Georgian men responsible for child support payments approximately six weeks into a fetus’ lifespan, obtain permission from their sexual partners before purchasing hard-on pills and wait 24 hours before purchasing pocket pussies or XXX videos. Other recommendations from Kendrick’s forthcoming “Testicular Bill of Rights” include the banning of vasectomy procedures and automatically making unprotected sex a form of “aggravated assault.”

And yes, in case you were wondering, the 36-year-old legislator is indeed unwed and unmarried, but it’s not like you needed me to tell you that, did you?

But just you wait, Kendrick isn’t the only unfuckable black female politician trying to push satirical pro-abortion legislation through the state Legislature — the unfortunately named State Rep. Park Cannon also started gathering signatures for a petition that would require any man in Georgia over the age of 55 to contact law enforcement agencies every time they ejaculated. Unsurprisingly, that proposed piece of legislation managed to attract three more incredibly unattractive, sour-wombed black women as co-sponsors … and in the process, continues to prove once and for all that Freud was right about pretty much everything.

In best Vince McMahon voice: “Morris Dees … YERRRR FIRRRRRRED!”

Just a few weeks ago, we here at IIIA put a spotlight on Hate.Com, this 20-year-old HBO special produced by the Southern Poverty Law Center telling us the internet needed to be censored because the Klan might be on it. Of course, since it was an SPLC production, it was narrated by one MORRIS DEES, a man who is so intrinsically annoying that just looking at his face for more than three seconds causes onset migraines.

Well, after nearly 50 years of operating the SPLC, Dees Nuts was unceremoniously SHIT CANNED by his own organization on March 14, complete with a press release that cited suspiciously unbecoming behavior for the ouster. Cue the release of a memo signed by about 24 SPLC employees just a few hours later, accusing Dees of engaging in patterns of “mistreatment, sexual harassment, gender discrimination and RACISM that “threaten the moral authority of this organization and our integrity along with it.

Yep, that’s right, a man who LITERALLY made a fortune suing people for being racist is now, in the twilight of his career/general livelihood, being accused of being a woman-hating, ass-grabbing nigger-hater. Of course, hard details on what exactly Dees did (or is accused of doing) remain unpublicized, but we can’t WAIT to see this public character execution unfurl before our very eyes. Which, naturally, begs the question: now that the SPLC’s mastermind has been revealed as a bigot, does that mean the media will still lap up everything the organization says about so-called “hate groups” in these United States?

Italian court: woman is too ugly to be a rape victim

In 2015, two Peruvian men purportedly raped a woman in Ancona, which is a part of Italy where apparently all the Peruvians hang out. So the two men were convicted of sexual assault, but something very fishy happened in 2017; an appeals court overturned the verdict, on account the reviewing three-judge panel believed the victim was too unreliable … in part, because they believed the alleged rapists thought the victim in question was too goddamn masculine-looking to rape.

This, despite the fact date rape drugs were found in the 22-year-old’s system and an examiner found the victim had injuries consistent with prolonged sexual assault. Per one judge, however, an alleged attacker “didn’t even like the girl, to the point of having stored her number in his phone under the nickname ‘Viking,’ an allusion to an anything but feminine figure.”

And if that wasn’t enough, another judge on the panel declared, matter of factly, “the photograph present in her file would appear to confirm this.”

As you’d expect, the women folk in Italy didn’t take kindly to the appeals revelation, which didn’t make the media rounds until earlier this month, for whatever reason (note: in case you haven’t figured this out yet, the Italians are lazy as fuck about just about everything.) At least one protest against the decision drew about 200 demonstrators, and the case is expected to be re-reviewed shortly, because apparently the Italian courts allow an infinite number of appeals.

And if you’re thinking such a decision speaks to the disgusting, medieval mindset of the European judicial system, there’s one little thing you need to know — all three of the judges that declared the victim too ugly to gang rape just so happened to be women.

Houston library accidentally hires sex criminal drag queen to read to children

Because a lot of parents are more concerned about appearing culturally enlightened than actually being good parents, over the last couple of years “drag queen story times” have become increasingly popular events throughout America’s libraries. This video from last summer gives you a pretty good idea of what the “festivities” are like, as objectively hideous, overweight men doing the gender equivalent of a minstrel show scare the living dogshit out of visibly frightened elementary schoolers while their parents pat themselves on the back for being so guldarn inclusive. Alas, that same library system in Houston recently had to eat its own shit when it was revealed that one of its drag queen story tellers, 32-year-old Albert Alfonso Garza, had quite the criminal history … including a charge from 2008 of sexually assaulting a child under the age of 14.

“In our review of our process and of this participant, we discovered that we failed to complete a background check as required by our own guidelines,” the Houston Public Library stated in a mea culpa. “Every program sponsored by HPL is supervised by HPL staff, and all children are accompanied by a parent and/or guardian. No participant is ever alone with children, and we have not received any complaints about any inappropriate behavior by participants at storytimes.”

Some advice to libraries that might be pursuing programs of the like: anytime you have to explicitly tell parents their kids won’t get raped at your events, it’s probably not a program worth adopting.

So, uh, did you guys hear about that one thing that happened in New Zealand recently?

I don’t know if you’ve heard about it, but apparently there was a mass shooting of some sort in Christchurch earlier this month. The details are still coming in — indeed, the officials haven’t formally named any suspects as of press time, and there’s no reliable info on just how many perpetrators were involved, or how many of them mysteriously fled to Israel, for some reason — but this, we know: 50 people got killed, the bulk of them Muslim, by a guy who literally played meme music while he popped caps in miscellaneous asses. Oh, and he livestreamed the whole thing on Facebook, and the whole thing looked a LOT like a Call of Duty game. And he also allegedly released a manifesto before the shooting, but we’ll delve into that a little more in deep shortly.

The important thing to know here? Naturally, to deter such mass violence from EVER being perpetrated by Caucasoid ethno-nationalists ever again, the internet MUST be regulated harder and more ferociously than ever before. Indeed, in New Zealand, the feds are threatening to imprison its residents for 10 years simply for viewing the video of the mass shooting, while police in the U.K. (it’s always the U.K., you know) are gleefully arresting social media users for not being sad enough about the horrific, racist-rage-driven homicide-fest. In turn, this has led to tech leviathans like Facebook, YouTube and Reddit tripling-down to keep such “shock videos” off their platform, even if it means eliminating livestream functionality for their own services.

But then again, I suppose a lack of publicity on those incidents are to be expected: I mean, really, who’s surprised to find out Muslims are killing people en masse these days?

...and a few headlines that speak for themselves…


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