Can’t catch tonight’s latest and greatest PPV spectacular, for whatever reason? No problem, Holmes — our ongoing play-by-play will keep you abreast of the MMA action ALL NIGHT LONG.
Another Saturday night, another UFC PPV spectacular that you’re too cheap to purchase legitimately on PPV, so you’re probably going to watch it on some shitty Russian website stream that keeps buffering every 30 seconds. Sound like an ideal evening of fisticuffing fun? Well buddy, you’re in good company, ‘cause we here at TIIIA plan on keeping you abreast of ALL of tonight’s action, no matter how you intend on getting your UFC 241 fix.
Hey, what’s that? Did you say that your computer is so old and shitty that you can’t even stream this shit on VIP Box or whatever they’re calling it nowadays, and that this month’s child support payments have left you with a mere $28 to your name, and that you’ve been banned from the local Hooters because the waitresses have wised up to your old “magic thumb” trick? I know, you might be thinking that there’s no one you can stay afloat of tonight’s Octagonal carnage, but that’s what your old buddy Jimbo is here for. That’s right, all night long I’m going to be providing you with LIVE(ish) round-by-round play-by-play of UFC 241: Cormier vs. Miocic 2 starting at 10 p.m. Eastern time, so even if one of the conditions of your probation is steering clear of the skeezy sports bar down the street, you’ll still be able to know what happens at the fights, virtually as they happen.
As always, we here at TIIIA would awfully appreciate it if you let all your fight-lovin’ friends and acquaintances on the Facebooks and Twitters know about our free and voluntary social service tonight. Indeed, not only will your peers think you’re extra considerate, one of your more whore-ish colleagues might even blow you for your thoughtfulness. So do us and yourself a favor and go on ahead and bookmark this page, and as soon as 10 o’clock rolls around, be sure to hit F5 early and often, because our LIVE(ish) updates are going to be coming at you fast and furious ...
EDITOR'S NOTE: Due to prior professional commitments, Jimbo will not be able to give you people live commentary until at least 11 p.m. Eastern. That means he probably won't be around to make fun of the Derek Brunson/Ian Heinisch or Benitez/Yusuff fights, but if you're lucky, he'll be back at his laptop just in time for Yoel Romero to do/say something really, really stupid. — THNX, MGMT
EDITOR'S NOTE: Due to prior professional commitments, Jimbo will not be able to give you people live commentary until at least 11 p.m. Eastern. That means he probably won't be around to make fun of the Derek Brunson/Ian Heinisch or Benitez/Yusuff fights, but if you're lucky, he'll be back at his laptop just in time for Yoel Romero to do/say something really, really stupid. — THNX, MGMT
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| Pictured: Something you clearly don't give a shit about. Except for the YouTube sharks part. |
Middleweight Bout
Derek Brunson (19-7-0-0) vs. Ian Heinisch (13-1-0-0)
35-year-old Strikeforce alum Derek Brunson has been a UFC staple since 2012. In his last five bouts, he’s gone 3-2, with wins over Lyoto Machida, Dan Kelly and Elias Theodorou, but with some REALLY bad losses to Israel Adesanya and Ronaldo Souza thrown into the mix to really muck things up. His opponent this evening is Tuesday Night Contender Series grad Ian Heinisch, who has since gone on to notch up decision wins over Cezar Ferreira and Antonio Carlos, Jr. Obviously, Brunson doesn’t have a whole lot to gain from winning this bout, but he certainly has a whole hell of a lot to lose in case his arm isn’t raised in victory. Obviously, Ian is looking to make himself famous tonight, which leads me to believe that both of these motherfuckers are going to be doing some heavy duty headhunting like, uh, motherfuckers, I suppose.
NOTE: OK, I missed this one. But apparently Brunson won the unanimous decision. The social media tells me it was a decent fight, but I'll leave it to your own discretion as to whether or not it's worth re-watching.
NOTE: OK, I missed this one. But apparently Brunson won the unanimous decision. The social media tells me it was a decent fight, but I'll leave it to your own discretion as to whether or not it's worth re-watching.
Featherweight Bout
Gabriel Benitez (21-6-0-0) vs. Sodiq Yusuff (9-1-0-0)
Benitez, 31, has been a divisional hanger-oner since joining the UFC in 2014. Since then, the Baja Californian has gone 6-2 in the cage, with losses to Enrique Barzola and Andre Fili and victories over Jason Knight, Sam Sicilia, Clay Collard and Humberto Brown. And, perhaps most notably, his last appearance in the Octagon culminated with an AWESOME slam KO of Humberto Bandenay back in May, which is something we DEFINITELY need to take a look at one more time. Tonight, he’s tangoing with 26-year-old Tuesday Night Contender alum “Super” Sodiq Yusuff, who was last seen decisioning the shit out of Sheymon Moraes back in March. Considering their respective pedigrees — and seeming genetic inability to defend themselves while striking — the odds that this one ends with somebody getting their head rocked off their shoulders has to be rather probable.
NOTE: I missed this fight, too. But Yusuff apparenly won by KTFO out Benitez in the first round. Find the GIF on Twitter, I hear it's pretty hilarious.
NOTE: I missed this fight, too. But Yusuff apparenly won by KTFO out Benitez in the first round. Find the GIF on Twitter, I hear it's pretty hilarious.
Middleweight Bout
Yoel Romero (13-3-0-0) vs. Paulo Costa (12-0-0-0)
You know, we all like to chortle over Romero’s infamous “no for gay Jesus” promo, but the fact of the matter is the dude, at this juncture, has had damn near a Hall of Fame career. I mean, the dude has wins over Luke Rockhold, Chris Weidman, Ronaldo Souza, Lyoto Machida and Tim Kennedy, and his only losses are razor-thin decisions against Robert Whittaker — and, inexplicably, a KO loss to Rafael Cavalcante, of all possible people. Alas, we could be seeing a metaphorical changing of the Middleweight guard this evening as the 42-year-old veteran goes toe-to-toe with undefeated Brazilian striker Paulo Costa, who not only has won every pro fight he’s ever been in, but won all of them by finishing his opponent. Indeed, such joining the UFC in 2017, “The Eraser” has TKO’ed Garreth McLellan, Oluwale Bamgbose, Johny Hendricks and Uriah Hall. And with a win here tonight — especially an impressive one — we might just be seeing this dude competing for 185-pound gold much sooner rather than later. Well, that is, if Romero doesn’t have a few surprises in store for the spry 28-year-old up-and-comer …
Alright, so I'm in for the night, and I got in just in time for round three to end. By all accounts, the social media buzz has this one pegged as a legit FOTY contender, so hooray on me missing it and shit.
Anyhoo, the fans boo the SHIT out of Costa getting the unanimous decision win here. In his post-fight interview, Paulo Costa laughs like Beavis, calls Yoel a "beast" and continues to say things in broken Brazilian-English, or as it should be called, Brenglish. The camera pans to Colby Covington in the crowd, and pretty much the entire building boos the fuck out of him. Then the TSN feed cuts off, probably because they're afraid they'll violate Canada's hate speech laws or something.
Alright, so I'm in for the night, and I got in just in time for round three to end. By all accounts, the social media buzz has this one pegged as a legit FOTY contender, so hooray on me missing it and shit.
Anyhoo, the fans boo the SHIT out of Costa getting the unanimous decision win here. In his post-fight interview, Paulo Costa laughs like Beavis, calls Yoel a "beast" and continues to say things in broken Brazilian-English, or as it should be called, Brenglish. The camera pans to Colby Covington in the crowd, and pretty much the entire building boos the fuck out of him. Then the TSN feed cuts off, probably because they're afraid they'll violate Canada's hate speech laws or something.
Welterweight Bout
Anthony Pettis (22-8-0-0) vs. Nate Diaz (19-11-0-0)
Needless to say, Pettis has had a VERY up and down career over the last few years. Since 2016 he’s gone 4-5 in the Octagon, with wins over the likes of Michael Chiesa, Jim Miller and Charles Oliveria and losses to fighters such as Tony Ferguson, Dustin Poirier and Max Holloway. His last outing — an impressive KO of Stephen Thompson in March — definitely gives Pettis fanboys a reason to be optimistic, especially since his opponent in tonight’s co-main event hasn’t fought in three years. Yep, this is Nate Diaz’s big return to the UFC, having last been seen getting decisioned by Conor McGregor back at UFC 202. Now, I’m not sure what kind of training regimen Diaz has been going through in the lead-up to this fight, but odds are, it probably involves copious amounts of recreational marijuana — which, naturally, is yet another reason to hope he gets his ass kicked tonight.
Pettis comes out to "Hate Me Now" by Nas. He also has two really shitty tattoos on his chest of what I presume are his children, but they instead look like really grotesque Cabbage Patch Dolls. Meanwhile, Diaz looks REALLY dried out, but he gets a huge pop out of the audience, regardless.
Pettis working the low kick early. The fans are definitely behind Diaz tonight, for whatever reason. Diaz with a good low kick. Then Pettis eats two hard right hands. Pettis catches Diaz behind the ear. We've got a clinch up against the cage. Pettis rips a good body shot combo on the breakoff. Pettis whiffs on a high kick, but makes good on the follow-up combo. Diaz "looking for striking angles," per Jon Anik. Time for another clinch against the cage. We have separation and Diaz lands his best shot of the fight thus far. Then my feed goes to shit and when it comes back on, Diaz is splayed out flat on his back and apparently, that's the end of round one.
Round two. Pettis trips right at the opening bell and Diaz capitalizes. Pettis is back to his feet and he connects on a good left jab. Diaz looks a LOT slower than he used to be. Pettis has Diaz backed against the cage. Diaz rolls out of the way and he's throwing wild, looping overhand shots. Pettis with a couple of body shots and the ref calls a timeout. Apparently, Diaz has something wrong with his eye. By the way, this is the one ref who kinda' looks like Dr. Robotnik a little. The action resumes. Pettis with another great right hand. Pettis lands another body shot. Diaz with a good straight jab and a follow-up knee to the solar plexus. Diaz has Pettis back against the cage. He drags him down and now Diaz is working for the full mount. Pettis is up and Diaz hits him with a knee to the noggin. Diaz with elbow shots up against the cage. Diaz continues to crush Pettis against the cage. Now Pettis is firing back. Diaz connects on some jabs and now it's a slug fest. Both men look exhausted at this point. Diaz with more knees and elbows up against the cage. Diaz has a big cut over his eye. Diaz connects on about six or seven unanswered jabs to end the round.
Round three. Pettis with a good combo off the cage. Diaz fires back with a combo of his own. Pettis connects on a high kick. Diaz with more wild jabs. There is no defense at all in this fight. Pettis presses Diaz up against the cage. Diaz with a good left hand. Pettis misses on the spinning elbow and Diaz lands a TON of knees. Pettis drops to the mat and Diaz starts unloading on him. He has Pettis' back. He's got one hook in. He's got a grapevine. Now Pettis is in the full mount. Pettis with an elbow from the top. Diaz is bleeding again. Diaz loses a triangle. Pettis with another elbow shot. Now he's back to his feet. Diaz with some decent shots from the bottom. We have some MAD scrambling on the mat with a million billion reversals. About a minute left. Diaz has Pettis' back. He has both hooks in. Thirty seconds remaining. And PETTIS reverses it and closes out the round in the full mount. And that's the bell, ya'll.
Let's hear it from the judges. It's two 30-27s and one 29-28 in favor of Nate Diaz.
In the post-fight interview, Nate Diaz curses and says he stopped fighting because everybody sucked, then he says he wants Jorge Masvidal, even though he "ain't no West Coast gangster." Also, Diaz's mouth is so mushy he sounds like he's hair-lipped. I'm pretty sure he just called somebody a "muffer futher," whatever that is.
Terence Crawford is in the house, but like any of us can pay attention to anything but the guy behind him wearing a BOSS Mr. Perfect T-shirt.
Pettis comes out to "Hate Me Now" by Nas. He also has two really shitty tattoos on his chest of what I presume are his children, but they instead look like really grotesque Cabbage Patch Dolls. Meanwhile, Diaz looks REALLY dried out, but he gets a huge pop out of the audience, regardless.
Pettis working the low kick early. The fans are definitely behind Diaz tonight, for whatever reason. Diaz with a good low kick. Then Pettis eats two hard right hands. Pettis catches Diaz behind the ear. We've got a clinch up against the cage. Pettis rips a good body shot combo on the breakoff. Pettis whiffs on a high kick, but makes good on the follow-up combo. Diaz "looking for striking angles," per Jon Anik. Time for another clinch against the cage. We have separation and Diaz lands his best shot of the fight thus far. Then my feed goes to shit and when it comes back on, Diaz is splayed out flat on his back and apparently, that's the end of round one.
Round two. Pettis trips right at the opening bell and Diaz capitalizes. Pettis is back to his feet and he connects on a good left jab. Diaz looks a LOT slower than he used to be. Pettis has Diaz backed against the cage. Diaz rolls out of the way and he's throwing wild, looping overhand shots. Pettis with a couple of body shots and the ref calls a timeout. Apparently, Diaz has something wrong with his eye. By the way, this is the one ref who kinda' looks like Dr. Robotnik a little. The action resumes. Pettis with another great right hand. Pettis lands another body shot. Diaz with a good straight jab and a follow-up knee to the solar plexus. Diaz has Pettis back against the cage. He drags him down and now Diaz is working for the full mount. Pettis is up and Diaz hits him with a knee to the noggin. Diaz with elbow shots up against the cage. Diaz continues to crush Pettis against the cage. Now Pettis is firing back. Diaz connects on some jabs and now it's a slug fest. Both men look exhausted at this point. Diaz with more knees and elbows up against the cage. Diaz has a big cut over his eye. Diaz connects on about six or seven unanswered jabs to end the round.
Round three. Pettis with a good combo off the cage. Diaz fires back with a combo of his own. Pettis connects on a high kick. Diaz with more wild jabs. There is no defense at all in this fight. Pettis presses Diaz up against the cage. Diaz with a good left hand. Pettis misses on the spinning elbow and Diaz lands a TON of knees. Pettis drops to the mat and Diaz starts unloading on him. He has Pettis' back. He's got one hook in. He's got a grapevine. Now Pettis is in the full mount. Pettis with an elbow from the top. Diaz is bleeding again. Diaz loses a triangle. Pettis with another elbow shot. Now he's back to his feet. Diaz with some decent shots from the bottom. We have some MAD scrambling on the mat with a million billion reversals. About a minute left. Diaz has Pettis' back. He has both hooks in. Thirty seconds remaining. And PETTIS reverses it and closes out the round in the full mount. And that's the bell, ya'll.
Let's hear it from the judges. It's two 30-27s and one 29-28 in favor of Nate Diaz.
In the post-fight interview, Nate Diaz curses and says he stopped fighting because everybody sucked, then he says he wants Jorge Masvidal, even though he "ain't no West Coast gangster." Also, Diaz's mouth is so mushy he sounds like he's hair-lipped. I'm pretty sure he just called somebody a "muffer futher," whatever that is.
Terence Crawford is in the house, but like any of us can pay attention to anything but the guy behind him wearing a BOSS Mr. Perfect T-shirt.
UFC Heavyweight Championship Bout
Daniel Cormier (22-1-0-1) vs. Stipe Miocic (18-3-0-0)
This here’s a fight taking place roughly one year after Cormier initially bested Miocic to win the UFC Heavyweight Championship. Since then, Stipe’s been on the shelf while Cormier has had one title defense — a facile round two submission win over Derrick Lewis at UFC 230 last November. As we all recollect, in Cormier/Miocic I the former managed to stagger the later with a series of hard shots late in the first round, ultimately culminating in D.C. flooring Miocic with less than 30 seconds ‘til the bell and teeing off on his big, Croatian chin until the ref said no mas. While there’s still some controversy about the fight lingering on — mostly, from Miocic nut-huggers, who bemoan Cormier’s probably unintentional eye gouging earlier in the contest — the truth of the matter is that Cormier had control of the bout pretty much from start to finish, and in the re-do we’re getting essentially the same version of Miocic we got last time, only with an additional year’s worth of ring rust. The smart money is on this one ending almost identical to the first bout, but you never can tell with these Heavyweight title contests — aye, if Stipe wins, we might just have the start of the UFC’s next great 220-plus rivalry.
Miocic out first, accompanied by the rapping music from Machine Gun Kelly. The crowd boos him pretty hard, presumably because he isn't one of the Diaz brothers. And Cormier, of course, comes out to that one Lil' Wyne song, and he literally runs to the cage like The Ultimate Warrior, even though he's fat.
Cormier, for those of you wondering, is 40, while Miocic is 36. Talk about building the promotion around fresh, young talent, right? Also, Herb Dean is the ref, so you know someone is going to have to be declared legally dead before a stoppage is issued. Miocic with an obvious height advantage, even though that didn't help him the first time around. DC with low kicks early. Miocic already starting to look wobbly on his legs. Cormier clips Stipe, but he walks right through it. DC lands again. Stipe with a solid jab. DC hits Stipe with another overhand. DC looking for a single leg takedown. DC with a HUGE slam on Stipe. Like, he had him lugged over his back for a full thirty seconds, kids. DC working from the side, looking for the full mount. And DC is almost there. About ninety seconds left in the round. DC with tons of punches to the stomach. DC clobbers Stipe with about three or four hard shots. Stipe with an upkick and DC has Miocic folded up like an accordian. DC with some HARD hammer fists up against the cage. Stipe looking for a takedown to end the round, but he can't get it.
Round two. Stipe with an inside leg kick. Miocic with a good knee to the belly. Stipe with a good jab. DC whiffs on a huge shot. DC with a hard elbow shot. Miocic with a good left. DC with a stellar right jab and a great uppercut. Miocic feigns an eyepoke and then it's uppercut city. Both men trading HUGE shots now. DC with another big right jab. Stipe trying to smother DC up against the cage now. We have separation and Mioci lands some good right jabs. DC whiffs on a haymaker. Time to clinch against the cage. Mioci with more wild rights. DC with a HUGE uppercut. Miocic with a good elbow shot. DC ALMOST staggers Stipe with a hard right. Stipe with a leg kick and Cormier with a head kick. And there's the bell.
Round three. A replay shows DC got away with a BLATANT as fuck thumb to the eye. Stipe lands a HARD jab to begin. And he connects on another good jab. Stipe shoots for a takedown, but DC shucks him off easily. Miocic winces from a punch. DC with a leg kick and Stipe tries to tie DC up against the cage. Blood is gushing out of Stipe's mouth now. Stipe misses by a mile on a spinning elbow. DC looking for some leg kicks. And right on cue, the feed takes a shit and dies. What are the odds. Anyhoo, this thing is headed to four rounds, regardless.
Round four. Stipe with a jab and inside leg kick. DC fires back with a leg kick of his own. He tags Miocic with a left. Stipe looks like he has more gas in his tank than Cormier at this point. DC back pedaling and both men are having to pick their shots. Stipe whiffs on an uppercut, the he connects on a great jab to the torso. DC with a good combo. Stipe with another beautiful hook to the body. More body shots form Miocic. DC fires back with a big right hand to the face. Stipe with more body shots. A minute left. STIPE UNLOADS ON DC! Cormier collapses, and Miocic unleashes a BARRAGE OF PUNCHES! AND THIS FIGHT IS OVER!
Stipe does a Croatian jig to celebrate regaining the UFC Heavyweight Championship. The official time is 4:10 into round four. I literally have no idea what he said in his post-fight interview but odds are it entailed a lot of profanity. Cormier, of course, has to pretend that he's not pissed about losing and Rogans asks him if his old ass is going to retire. He said he and his wife will make an "educated decision" on the matter, and he leaves it at that.
Obviously, there's a TON of stuff to talk about in the wake of tonight's show, but I'm sleepy as shit and have to go back and re-watch the Romero/Costa bout, for sure. So take you a nap, get a well-balanced breakfast and I'll be back here bright and early in the morning with a few more nuanced thoughts on the card. Long story short, though? Yeah, this is a PPV that certainly looks like it MORE than lived up to the hype.
SO, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? Now that Stipe Miocic is once again the world champ, it seems like the most obvious course of action to take is to book him in a rematch against Francis Ngannou. Still, the bout was competitive enough to possibly warrant a rubber match with Daniel Cormier, but at this juncture, it looks like D.C. is more concerned about trying his hand at pro 'rasslin than he is in, say, a third go-at-it against Jon Jones. Of course, the UFC desperately, DIRELY wants to book Nate Diaz vs. Conor McGregor 3 sometime before 2019 is up, although booking Nate against Jorge Masvidal would probably result in a better matchup. And really, what match right now makes more sense than pitting Anthony Pettis against Ben Askren? And while a Paulo Costa/Yoel Romero rematch would be entertaining as fuck, no doubt, it seems much likelier that Costa will get the loser of the upcoming Robert Whitaker/Israel Adesanyo bout, in what essentially becomes a title eliminator fight. Which, naturally, makes Derek Brunson an ideal candidate for Romero's next 185-clash.
THE VERDICT? I didn't catch all of the prelims, but I think it's safe to say the PPV portion of the broadcast MORE than fucking delivered. There really wasn't a bad fight on the entire "you've gotta' pay for it" portion of the show, and the last three contests of the evening were all legitimately outstanding bouts. Romero/Costa is a very lowkey FOTY dark horse candidate, Diaz/Pettis was sheer excitement that got the crowd hotter than the Sportatorium in the summer of '84 and DC vs. Cormier was probably the most entertaining heavyweight MMA fight of the year so far, and in my books, the best one the UFC has seen since Miocic vs. Ngannou back in early 2018. If it isn't fight-by-fight the best UFC show of 2019, it's gotta' be pretty damn close to it, no matter how you slice it. SHOW HIGHLIGHT: Romero/Costa, Diaz/Pettis and Cormier/Miocic were all downright awesome in their own special way. SHOW LOWLIGHT: Well, the prelims did have women fighting in it, so probably that. ROGAN-ISM OF THE NIGHT: "He's really got to protect his face from here" — Joe, giving Cormier his best advice in the second round of the main event. FIVE THINGS I LEARNED FROM TONIGHT'S SHOW:
— Yes, certain All Japan finishers are perfectly legal in the UFC. — If a Nigerian and a Mexican punch each other at the same time, the smart money is on the African's fist landing first. — They ought to make airplanes out of whatever Yoel Romero's chin is made out of. — If you want Californians to cheer you on, be a lazy pot-head that disappears for years at a time and cut promos so indecipherable, it's almost like listening to Q*Bert curse. — Just ask Daniel Cormier ... apparently, black DOES crack, after all. Well, that's all I've got for you this week. Crank up "Plowed" by Evergreen Terrace and "All I Had (I Gave)" by Crowbar and I'll be seeing you cageside in just a few.
Miocic out first, accompanied by the rapping music from Machine Gun Kelly. The crowd boos him pretty hard, presumably because he isn't one of the Diaz brothers. And Cormier, of course, comes out to that one Lil' Wyne song, and he literally runs to the cage like The Ultimate Warrior, even though he's fat.
Cormier, for those of you wondering, is 40, while Miocic is 36. Talk about building the promotion around fresh, young talent, right? Also, Herb Dean is the ref, so you know someone is going to have to be declared legally dead before a stoppage is issued. Miocic with an obvious height advantage, even though that didn't help him the first time around. DC with low kicks early. Miocic already starting to look wobbly on his legs. Cormier clips Stipe, but he walks right through it. DC lands again. Stipe with a solid jab. DC hits Stipe with another overhand. DC looking for a single leg takedown. DC with a HUGE slam on Stipe. Like, he had him lugged over his back for a full thirty seconds, kids. DC working from the side, looking for the full mount. And DC is almost there. About ninety seconds left in the round. DC with tons of punches to the stomach. DC clobbers Stipe with about three or four hard shots. Stipe with an upkick and DC has Miocic folded up like an accordian. DC with some HARD hammer fists up against the cage. Stipe looking for a takedown to end the round, but he can't get it.
Round two. Stipe with an inside leg kick. Miocic with a good knee to the belly. Stipe with a good jab. DC whiffs on a huge shot. DC with a hard elbow shot. Miocic with a good left. DC with a stellar right jab and a great uppercut. Miocic feigns an eyepoke and then it's uppercut city. Both men trading HUGE shots now. DC with another big right jab. Stipe trying to smother DC up against the cage now. We have separation and Mioci lands some good right jabs. DC whiffs on a haymaker. Time to clinch against the cage. Mioci with more wild rights. DC with a HUGE uppercut. Miocic with a good elbow shot. DC ALMOST staggers Stipe with a hard right. Stipe with a leg kick and Cormier with a head kick. And there's the bell.
Round three. A replay shows DC got away with a BLATANT as fuck thumb to the eye. Stipe lands a HARD jab to begin. And he connects on another good jab. Stipe shoots for a takedown, but DC shucks him off easily. Miocic winces from a punch. DC with a leg kick and Stipe tries to tie DC up against the cage. Blood is gushing out of Stipe's mouth now. Stipe misses by a mile on a spinning elbow. DC looking for some leg kicks. And right on cue, the feed takes a shit and dies. What are the odds. Anyhoo, this thing is headed to four rounds, regardless.
Round four. Stipe with a jab and inside leg kick. DC fires back with a leg kick of his own. He tags Miocic with a left. Stipe looks like he has more gas in his tank than Cormier at this point. DC back pedaling and both men are having to pick their shots. Stipe whiffs on an uppercut, the he connects on a great jab to the torso. DC with a good combo. Stipe with another beautiful hook to the body. More body shots form Miocic. DC fires back with a big right hand to the face. Stipe with more body shots. A minute left. STIPE UNLOADS ON DC! Cormier collapses, and Miocic unleashes a BARRAGE OF PUNCHES! AND THIS FIGHT IS OVER!
Stipe does a Croatian jig to celebrate regaining the UFC Heavyweight Championship. The official time is 4:10 into round four. I literally have no idea what he said in his post-fight interview but odds are it entailed a lot of profanity. Cormier, of course, has to pretend that he's not pissed about losing and Rogans asks him if his old ass is going to retire. He said he and his wife will make an "educated decision" on the matter, and he leaves it at that.
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| The last time Cleveland saw a comeback like that, fuckin' Kordell Stewart was playing for the Steelers. |
Obviously, there's a TON of stuff to talk about in the wake of tonight's show, but I'm sleepy as shit and have to go back and re-watch the Romero/Costa bout, for sure. So take you a nap, get a well-balanced breakfast and I'll be back here bright and early in the morning with a few more nuanced thoughts on the card. Long story short, though? Yeah, this is a PPV that certainly looks like it MORE than lived up to the hype.
SO, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? Now that Stipe Miocic is once again the world champ, it seems like the most obvious course of action to take is to book him in a rematch against Francis Ngannou. Still, the bout was competitive enough to possibly warrant a rubber match with Daniel Cormier, but at this juncture, it looks like D.C. is more concerned about trying his hand at pro 'rasslin than he is in, say, a third go-at-it against Jon Jones. Of course, the UFC desperately, DIRELY wants to book Nate Diaz vs. Conor McGregor 3 sometime before 2019 is up, although booking Nate against Jorge Masvidal would probably result in a better matchup. And really, what match right now makes more sense than pitting Anthony Pettis against Ben Askren? And while a Paulo Costa/Yoel Romero rematch would be entertaining as fuck, no doubt, it seems much likelier that Costa will get the loser of the upcoming Robert Whitaker/Israel Adesanyo bout, in what essentially becomes a title eliminator fight. Which, naturally, makes Derek Brunson an ideal candidate for Romero's next 185-clash.
THE VERDICT? I didn't catch all of the prelims, but I think it's safe to say the PPV portion of the broadcast MORE than fucking delivered. There really wasn't a bad fight on the entire "you've gotta' pay for it" portion of the show, and the last three contests of the evening were all legitimately outstanding bouts. Romero/Costa is a very lowkey FOTY dark horse candidate, Diaz/Pettis was sheer excitement that got the crowd hotter than the Sportatorium in the summer of '84 and DC vs. Cormier was probably the most entertaining heavyweight MMA fight of the year so far, and in my books, the best one the UFC has seen since Miocic vs. Ngannou back in early 2018. If it isn't fight-by-fight the best UFC show of 2019, it's gotta' be pretty damn close to it, no matter how you slice it. SHOW HIGHLIGHT: Romero/Costa, Diaz/Pettis and Cormier/Miocic were all downright awesome in their own special way. SHOW LOWLIGHT: Well, the prelims did have women fighting in it, so probably that. ROGAN-ISM OF THE NIGHT: "He's really got to protect his face from here" — Joe, giving Cormier his best advice in the second round of the main event. FIVE THINGS I LEARNED FROM TONIGHT'S SHOW:
— Yes, certain All Japan finishers are perfectly legal in the UFC. — If a Nigerian and a Mexican punch each other at the same time, the smart money is on the African's fist landing first. — They ought to make airplanes out of whatever Yoel Romero's chin is made out of. — If you want Californians to cheer you on, be a lazy pot-head that disappears for years at a time and cut promos so indecipherable, it's almost like listening to Q*Bert curse. — Just ask Daniel Cormier ... apparently, black DOES crack, after all. Well, that's all I've got for you this week. Crank up "Plowed" by Evergreen Terrace and "All I Had (I Gave)" by Crowbar and I'll be seeing you cageside in just a few.
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