Tuesday, October 22, 2019

2019 NCAA Football Top 25 Rankings (Week Eight)

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By: Jimbo X

Let’s face it — the Associated Press and USA Today don’t know what the hell they’re talking about when it comes to college football, which is why their Top 25 rankings are always such dogshit. Thankfully, we here at The Internet Is In America take our collegiate pigskin far more seriously, which is why we’re giving you our own unbiased, impartial, 100 percent objective NCAA Top 25 rankings each and every week this college ball season. Trust us, there’s no reason to scope out ESPN or Bleacher Report this fall … ‘cause when it comes to football on Saturday, ain’t nobody anywhere gonna’ give it to ‘ya as straight as TIIIA will, and that’s a guarantee.

Clemson (7-0)
Next Opponent: vs. Boston College (Oct. 26)

You know, I’ve seen some rankings with Clemson ranked as low as SIXTH in the nation by official AP writers, which is yet another reason why you should never, ever care what the Associated Press thinks about anything. As for the reigning, defending National Champions of College Football(TM), Clemson beat the snot outta’ Louisville over the weekend, in a game that saw Travis Etienne gallop all over the Cardinals to the tune of 192 yards and one TD on 14 carries. And despite his two INTs, you really can’t complain too much about Trevor Lawrence’s 20 for 29, 233-yard, three-TD performance, can you?

Alabama (7-0)
Next Opponent: vs. Arkansas (Oct. 26)

Despite Tua losing some playing time to injury, The Tide’s eventual 35-13 win over Tennessee Saturday night was never in doubt. That’s thanks in no small part to the fantastic play from running back Najee Harris, who concluded the contest with 105 yards and two TDs on 21 carries. And while Alabama’s quarterbacking armada didn’t look too impressive (Tua, Mac Jones and Slade Bolden combined went 18 for 24 for 233 yards and a one-to-one TD-to-INT split), Alabama’s defense still looked terifficic, holding the Vols to just 117 yards passing and only 114 running the rock. Of course, with ‘Bama’s Heisman-caliber starting QB sidelined for this weekend, could the Tide be on the verge of a monumental upset loss on the road against the Razorbacks?

Ohio State (7-0)
Next Opponent: vs. Wisconsin (Oct. 26)

The Buckeyes creamed Northwestern over the weekend, pounding the Wildcats 52-3 in a contest that saw Justin Fields go 18 for 23 for 194 yards and four TD passes. Meanwhile, J.K. dobbins had 121 yards and one end zone is it on 18 carries, while the combined Ohio State D held NW to just 157 rushing and a mere 42 yards passing — plus, two interceptions, just for the LULZ. Of course, this weekend’s home tilt with the Badgers may or may not be a preview of the Big 10 Championship — which, let’s face it, would be a lot more hypable had Wisconsin NOT shit the bed against Illinois for literally no reason whatsoever the weekend, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.

Oklahoma (7-0)
Next Opponent: at Kansas State (Oct. 26)

Pretty much the only noteworthy thing about Oklahoma’s 52-14 curb stomping of West Virginia was when these two honkies almost got killed on the Sooner Schooner — but yeah, you’ve probably seen that video a million billion times by now. All you need to know is that Jalen Hurts made the Mountaineers his bitch on Saturday, going 16 for 17 for 316 yards and three TD passes, only to RUN for an additional 75 yards and two scores on 10 carries. Sheesh, and you thought the methamphetamine trade was doing a number on WV …

LSU (7-0)
Next Opponent: vs. Auburn (Oct. 26)

Joe Burrow turned in a four-touchdown performance in Saturday’s 36-13 win over Mississippi State. Going 25 for 32, he ultimately recorded 327 aerial yards on the day, with Justin Jefferson leading the LSU receiving corps with 89 yards and one score on eight receptions. Alas, the Tigers just couldn’t get their run game going against the Bulldogs; at the final horn, the best LSU could muster on the ground was 86 scoreless yards, compared to Mississippi State’s 102 yards and one TD running the rock. 

Penn State (7-0)
Next Opponent: at Michigan State (Oct. 26)

The Nittany Diddlers topped Michigan on Saturday in thrilling fashion, complete with a thrilling goal line stand with about two minutes left in the fourth. Sean Clifford went 14 for 25 for 182 yards and three touchdown passes in the win, with top receiver KJ Hamler concluded the contest with 108 yards and two scores on six receptions. Of course, Penn State’s defense showed some deficiencies on both sides of the pigskin, on the one hand allowing Shea Patterson to chalk up 276 passing yards on the day and — perhaps even more concerning — letting the Wolverines mulch ‘em up on the turf for 141 rushing yards, complete with three touchdown runs.

SMU (7-0)
Next Opponent: at Houston (Oct. 24)

SMU’s miraculous undefeated run continued with a surprisingly one-sided 45-21 win over Temple 
this weekend. Shane Buechele went 30 for 53 for 457 yards and SIX TOUCHDOWN PASSES in the winning bid, with top receiver Reggie Robberson, Jr. collecting three of them and finishing the game with 250 yards total on just eight receptions. And running the rock, the Mustangs pretty much dominated the Owls there, too, outpacing ‘em on the ground 198 yards to 69. Let’s face it, folks: if you ain’t praying for an SMU/Baylor National Championship Game at this juncture, you’re pretty much a goddamn communist — or even worse, a Catholic.

Baylor (7-0)
Next Opponent: vs. West Virginia (Oct. 31)

Historically, Baylor hasn’t played very well at Oklahoma State, but this past weekend was one of those times that didn’t give no shits about what the record books say. In the Golden Bears’ 45-27 win, Charlie Brewer went 13 for 17 for 312 yards and one TD, with top receiver Josh Fleeks topping out at 136 yards and one score on just three catches. And these Baylor boys know how to run the rock, too, as evident by JaMycal Hasty’s 146 yards and two end zone visits on 16 carries. Hang in there folks — if these kids go toe-to-toe with Oklahoma for the Big 12 crown, the results could be plum explosive.

Minnesota (7-0)
Next Opponent: vs. Maryland (Oct. 26)

The Golden Gophers’ improbable undefeated run continued over the weekend with an impressive 42-7 rout of Rutgers. Minnesota QB Tanner Morgan went 15 for 28 for 245 yards and two passing TDs in the win, while top running back Rodney Smith finished the contest with 111 yards and two end zone trips on 19 carries. And if you’re looking for an under-the-radar Big 10 wideout prospect, look no further than talented Tyler Johnson, who led the team in receiving with 130 yards and one TD on six catches.

Appalachian State (6-0)
Next Opponent: at South Alabama (Oct. 26)

Yep, App State is still undefeated, and they had nothing to worry about whatsoever in their 52-7 beatdown of UL-Monroe over the weekend. Well, except for maybe spiders getting in their helmets, but let’s face it, that’s the kind of thing that ought to be in the back of your head at all times, regardless. The long and short of it is that Zac Thomas had a great day lobbing the rock, going 18 for 30 for 214 yards and three TD passes (plus one INT), and the Mountaineers’ top ‘back Darrynton Evans also looked extremely impressive, collecting 136 yards and one score eon 18 carries. Hell, App State is even looking great on D these days, having held the Warhawks to 102 yards passing on Saturday and a mere 111 on the ground.

Oregon (6-1)
Next Opponent: vs. Washington State (Oct. 26)

After week one’s loss to Auburn, the Ducks have been on a six-game tear, with their latest victory coming in the form of a narrow 35-31 win over Washington (who, I think it is safe to say, we all thought would be better than this in 2019.) Anyhoo, Justin Herbert had another great showing, going 24 for 38 for 280 yards and four touchdown passes, with Jaylon Redd catching two of them and finishing the evening with 36 yards on five catches. And leading the Oregon rushing attack was none other than Cyrus Habibi-Likio, who, in addition to sounding like a Super Mario Bros. villain, also had 81 yards and one TD on 14 rushes Saturday.

Wisconsin (6-1)
Next Opponent: at Ohio State (Oct. 26)

And thanks to a 39-yard field goal made by James McCourt as time expired, the Badgers’ already long shot National Championship aspirations may have gone out the proverbial window. Still, the core components of the Badgers offense didn’t look too terrible in the team’s inconceivable 24-23 loss to unranked Illinois. Jack Coan was respectable enough with 264 yards and a one-to-one TD-to-INT split on 24 completions, while Jonathan Taylor chalked up 132 yards and one score on 28 carries. Which, naturally, raises the question — what exactly went wrong for Wisconsin’s defense over the weekend, and do they even remotely have enough time to correct it in time for this Saturday’s MASSIVE showdown with Ohio State?

Florida (7-1)
Next Opponent: vs. Georgia (Nov. 02)

The Gators did something Saturday that the Bulldogs couldn’t — actually beat South Carolina this season. In the 38-24 win, Kyle Trask went 21 for 33 for 200 yards and FOUR touchdown passes, all of which landed in the arms of different receivers. Meanwhile, Dameon Pierce led the backfield with 87 yards and one TD on seven carries, with Lamical Perine not too far down on the stats sheet with 68 yards on 14 carries. Alas, one has to have some concerns about that vaunted Florida D glowing Ryan Hilinski to light them up for 170 passing yards — and even MORE concerns over Tavien Feaster outpacing them on the ground by an absurd 175 yards.

Georgia (6-1)
Next Opponent: vs. Georgia (Nov. 02)

The Bulldogs mildly rebounded from that shock overtime loss to South Carolina with a 21-o blanking of Kentucky on Saturday, which, honestly, isn’t anywhere near as impressive as it sounds. For one thing, Jake Fromm apparently turned retarded at some point in the game and forgot how forward movement worked, thus finishing the game with an unbelievable THIRTY-FIVE PASSING YARDS on nine completions. Thankfully, D’Andre Swift was there to keep the offense floating with his feet, as he wrapped up the game with two scores and 179 yards on 21 carries. And give UGA’s secondary some credit here — I mean, they did hold Lynn Bowden, Jr. to just 17 yards on two completions, didn’t they?

Auburn (6-1)
Next Opponent: at LSU (Oct. 26)

Bo Nix rebounded from that demoralizing loss against Florida from a few weeks back with a big performance in Saturday’s 51-10 throttling of the Razorbacks. He finished the game 12 for 17 for 176 yards and three TD passes, collecting one rushing TD on eight carries to go along with it. Elsewhere on the field, Seth Williams had a big day for Auburn, collecting two TDs and 90 yards on four receptions, while Kam Martin kept the run game steady with 84 yards (but no scores) on 10 touches. 

Notre Dame (5-1)
Next Opponent: at Michigan (Oct. 26)

This Saturday’s matchup between the Wolverines and the Irish is undoubtedly a big one, with a loss for either team more or less eliminating them from the National Championship playoffs chase altogether. Last year, Notre Dame eked out a 24-17 victory over Michigan, although the Wolverines maintain the historical edge in the series, 24 wins to 18. Regardless, a LOT is riding on the shoulders of ND QB Ian Book this weekend; for this interested in such things, he has 1,419 passing yards to date in ’19, with 14 touchdowns, two interceptions, 109 completions and what is quite possibly the worst set of crow’s feet for anybody under the age of 30 in the recorded history of humanity — or non-conference Division I football, at the very least.

Utah (6-1)
Next Opponent: vs. California (Oct. 26)

The Utes had no mercy on Arizona State Saturday, clobbering their PAC-12 rivals 21-3 over the weekend. Tyler Huntely went 12 for 19 for 171 yards, no touchdowns and one INT in the win, with Utah’s run game LITERALLY doing all of the team’s scoreboard production. Zack Moss had two end zone visitations and 99 yards on 24 carries, as the Utes outpaced the Sun Devils 151 yards to 111 on the ground. And Utah’s pass defense looked terrific, holding Jayden Daniels to a mere (if not borderline retarded) 25 yards on four completions.

Boise State (6-1)
Next Opponent: at San Jose State (Nov. 02)

The Stormin’ Mormons stood their ground on Saturday night, in the process handing the Blue Turfers their first loss of the 2019 season. In the 28-25 loss to BYU, Boise State quarterback Chase Cord went 18 for 30 for 185 yards and a two-and-two TD-to-INT split, with top rusher George Holani closing out the game with 87 yards on 20 carries. Alas, the Broncos’ defense just couldn’t keep pace with the Cougars’ backup-turned-starting quarterback Baylor Romney, who collected 221 yards and two TD passes on 15 completions. And yes, in case you were wondering — he is indeed Mitt Romney’s nephew. Hey, wave that magic underwear high, Bay — you have earned it.

Cincinnati (6-1)
Next Opponent: at East Carolina (Nov. 02)

Desmond Ridder, who I must say does a really good job of ridding any unwanted Desmonds you might have around the house, went 12 for 22 for 172 yards and one TD in Cincy’s 24-13 win over Tulsa on Saturday. Gerrid Doaks had two touchdowns on the ground and finished the outing with 91 yards on 17 carries, but holy shit, does this team’s secondary need some work: outside of literally having special needs students playing cornerback, there is NO reason for the likes of Zach Smith to rack up 243 passing yards against anybody.

Navy (5-1)
Next Opponent: vs. Tulane (Oct. 26)

Hey, remember when we all thought South Florida wouldn’t suck at the beginning of the season, and here they are doing exactly that? Regardless, that’s no slight against Navy, the team that pounded the Bulls 35-3 over the weekend. Of course, the Midshipmen don’t believe in passing the ball (indeed, QB CJ Williams had just ONE pass all game, a 23-yard zip for a score, while Malcolm Perry went 0 for 3 passing with TWO interceptions), but holy shit, can those kids run the stuffing out of the pigskin. At the final horn Saturday, Navy outpaced South Florida not he ground 434 yards to 150, with that aforementioned Perry concluding the game with 188 yards and two TDs on 22 carries. 

Memphis (6-1)
Next Opponent: at Tulsa (Oct. 26)

The Tigers had no time for the Green Wave’s bullshit on Saturday, clobbering Tulane 57-17 over the weekend. Brady White had a tremendous outing, going 21 for 29 for 358 yards and FIVE touchdown throws, with top receiver Kenneth Gainwill collecting two scores and 203 yards on just nine receptions. Oh, and old Kenny looked plum peachy running the rock, too; he wrapped up the win with 104 yards and one more score rushing the ball on 18 carries.

Wake Forest (6-1)
Next Opponent: vs. NC State (Nov. 02)

It was a close one, but Wake Forest still managed to get the hard-fought 22-20 victory over Florida State on Saturday. Sam Hartman went 21 for 38 for 308 yards in the win, but had no TD passes (although Sage Surratt wrapped up the game with 170 yards on seven receptions, which I guess accounts for something, possibly brownie points, for actual, tangible, literal brownies.) Really, this was kicker Nick Sciba’s shining moment — with five field goals on the day, he LITERALLY accounted for 16 out of 22 of his team’s points.

San Diego State (6-1)
Next Opponent: at UNLV (Oct. 26)

SDSU topped SJSU 27-17 over the weekend, in a. Game that saw Aztecs QB Ryan Agnew … well, not do much of anything, really, having finished the contest 13 for 20 for 88 yards and not TD passes. Thankfully, SDSU had a solid run game that out chewed the Spartans 260 yards to 54 on the grass, with top back Juwan Washington ultimately wrapping up the afford with 78 yards and one score eon 16 carries. Of course, the most exciting moment of the game came just 14 seconds into it, when special teams wizard Kaegun Williams converted a 95-yard opening kick into six on the scoreboard.

UAB (6-1)
Next Opponent: at Tennessee (Nov. 02)

The third best Division I college football team in Alabama looked great against Old Dominion, topping the Monarchs 38-14 on Saturday. Blazers QB Tyler Johnston III went 15 for 29 for 260 yards and two TD strikes (plus one INT) in the victory, with top receiver Austin Watkins finishing the outing with 121 yards on five catches. And Jermaine Brown, Jr. looked quite impressive running the ball, too, concluding the victory with 116 yards and one score on 20 touches. 

Louisiana Tech (6-1)
Next Opponent: at UTEP (Oct. 26)

The Bulldogs bested the Golden Eagles 45-30 over the weekend, in a game that saw Louisiana Tech’s defenders pick off Southern Mississippi QB Jack Abraham four times, with three of them landing in the arms of Amik Robertson and the other being returned 30 yards by Ezekiel Barnett for six on the scoreboard. Meanwhile, J’Mar Smith went 14 for 21 for 325 yards and a one-to-one TD-to-INT split, while Justin Henderson led the team rushing with 111 yards and two scores on 19 carries. Be sure to mark Nov. 23 on your calendars, kids — their game against UAB ought to be all kinds of fun to witness.


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