Tuesday, November 26, 2019

2019 NCAA Football Top 25 Rankings (Week Thirteen)

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By: Jimbo X

Let’s face it — the Associated Press and USA Today don’t know what the hell they’re talking about when it comes to college football, which is why their Top 25 rankings are always such dogshit. Thankfully, we here at The Internet Is In America take our collegiate pigskin far more seriously, which is why we’re giving you our own unbiased, impartial, 100 percent objective NCAA Top 25 rankings each and every week this college ball season. Trust us, there’s no reason to scope out ESPN or Bleacher Report this fall … ‘cause when it comes to football on Saturday, ain’t nobody anywhere gonna’ give it to ‘ya as straight as TIIIA will, and that’s a guarantee.

Clemson (11-0)
Next Opponent: at South Carolina (Nov. 30)

Unless the absolute unthinkable happens against South Carolina this weekend, Clemson’s pretty much guaranteed a slot in the National Championship Playoffs. Assuming they get past the Gamecocks no problem, they’ll lock horns with either Virginia or Virginia Tech for the ACC crown in two weeks’ time, and like shit either of those teams have anything that’d take T.L. and company by surprise. By the way, heading into the final week of regular season play, Trevor L. has 27 touchdowns, eight interceptions and 2,575 passing yards — pending on how little South Carolina shows up for the contest, don’t be surprised to see T.L. hit the 30 TD mark, or maybe even surpass the 3,000-yard passing tally. 

LSU (11-0)
Next Opponent: vs. Texas A&M (Nov. 30)

The Tigers are already looking ahead to NEXT Saturday, when they’ll tango with the Bulldogs for the SEC title. Of course, whoever wins that one is pretty much guaranteed a slot in the playoffs, and there’s even an off-chance that a one-loss SEC team might sneak into the four-team finals, too. Like we were saying, though, that assumes that LSU isn’t going to look past the Aggies too much this weekend — because if this team somehow loses back-to-back games over the next two weeks, there’s absolutely no chance in hell they’ll be playing football come January, unless it’s in some really stupid bowl nobody cares about (which, let’s face it, is like, all but five or six of them.)

Ohio State (11-0)
Next Opponent: at Michigan (Nov. 30)

Ohio State has already punched their tickets to the Big Ten title game, where they will take on either Minnesota or Wisconsin for the conference championship. One has to assume that the Buckeyes will be big favorites up against Michigan this Saturday, and really, there’s no excuse for them to lose to the Wolverines, even on the road. An undefeated Ohio State makes the national playoffs, no questions, but even with one loss on their resume? Eh, nothing is guaranteed from that point onward.

Alabama (10-1)
Next Opponent: at Auburn (Nov. 30)

Already factored out of the SEC title picture, all Alabama can do is just sit back and wait — and hope that LSU, Ohio State and Georgia all experience inexplicable losses in the lead up to their respective conference championship appearances. Assuming the Tide beats the Tigers this weekend in the Iron Bowl (which, as history has shown us, is anything but an automatic gimme) AND Georgia loses in the SEC title game, it probably wouldn’t be a stretch to see Bama sneaking into the fourth and final playoff seed. Actually, that probably holds true if Georgia beats LSU in the SEC championship, as well, or if Ohio State loses against Michigan or whoever they face in the Big 10 title game. So really, all the Tide has to do is wait for SOMEBODY to lose really … and, of course, not lose themselves, this weekend. 

Georgia (10-1)
Next Opponent: at Georgia Tech (Nov. 30)

Georgia’s path to the national playoffs is really clear — but far from easy. First, the easy part: beat Georgia Tech this weekend, which they SHOULD do, and easily. The harder part of the equation? Beating LSU in the SEC Championship game two Saturdays from now. If UGA can pull that off, there is no question they’ll be in the final four; but just one loss in their next two ought to have them factored out of the equation altogether. So yeah, no pressure guys … no pressure, at all. 

Oklahoma (10-1)
Next Opponent: at Oklahoma State (Nov. 30)

After giving us a strong contender for Game of the Year just a few weeks back, the Sooners and the Golden Bears will be right back at it for the Big 12 Championship Game on Dec. 7. While that technically makes Oklahoma’s game against OK State this Saturday pointless, that doesn’t mean that the showdown with the Cowboys ain’t without its playoffs implications. Assuming the SEC, Big 12 and ACC champs all make it into the playoffs, IF Oklahoma looks dominant enough in the final two games of the season they MIGHT just leapfrog over Alabama for that fourth and final slot in the postseason. Still, it looks like it’s going to take quite a few upsets elsewhere in Division I ball to give Oklahoma it's easiest path to the playoffs — stay tuned, folks, things could get real interesting in a real hurry.

Baylor (10-1)
Next Opponent: at Kansas (Nov. 30)

First things first, Baylor should EASILY surmount the Jayhawks this Saturday, so don’t even bother with that one. For the Golden Bears, the really big game on the calendar is the Big 12 Championship Dec. 7, in which they’ll have a chance to exact revenge on Oklahoma for the conference crown. And hell, who knows? Assuming Alabama, LSU, Clemson, Ohio State or Georgia hunch the pooch sometime over the next two weeks, a Baylor team that runs the table over the next fortnight could — conceivably — find their way sneaking into the final four. And as evident by all the rape scandals that have rocked the school over the last few years, we all know just how good these guys are at sneaking into stuff.

Minnesota (10-1)
Next Opponent: vs. Wisconsin (Nov. 30)

The Golden Gophers remain a VERY long shot to make the playoffs, but that distant dream can become a reality pending all of the following happens. No. 1, Minnesota beats Wisconsin this weekend, in turn thrusting them into the Big Ten title game. No. 2, at said Big Ten title game, Minnesota just so happens to upset Ohio State to win the conference championship. No. 3, one of any of the following teams loses at least a game between now and Dec. 8 — Georgia, Alabama, LSU or Clemson. Assuming all three of those things transpire, it’s pretty hard to imagine the Golden Gophers NOT making the final four — although, by that same token, it’s also VERY HARD to imagine all three of those aforementioned conditionals taking place, too. 

Utah (10-1)
Next Opponent: vs. Colorado (Nov. 30)

Yeah, the Utes don’t have a lot to play for, admittedly. Already penciled in for a showdown with Oregon to determine the PAC-12 champ in two weeks’ time, this Saturday’s title against Colorado, well, don’t really mean a whole hell of a lot to nobody. Come to think of it, the PAC-12 title game itself don’t really mean a whole hell of a lot this year, considering there’s no way the victor, whoever it may be, will find themselves in the playoffs. So yeah, from here on out, it’s basically Utah trying to look as good as possible en route to an appearance at the Rose Bowl, at best. Yeah … some reward to work towards, ain’t it?

Boise State (10-1)
Next Opponent: at Colorado State (Nov. 29)

The Blue Turfers aren’t even legally allowed to think of the word “playoffs” at this juncture, but that doesn’t mean they CAN’T find themselves playing in a prime-time bowl game that people might actually watch later this year. Assuming Boise State bests Colorado State this weekend, that puts them on pace to take on either Hawai’i, San Diego State or MAYBE Nevada for the MWC title, and honestly, the Broncos have ZERO excuses for not beating any of those squads. From there, though, it’s a little murky what the Division I powers-that-be might do with a 12-1 Boise State team — personally, I’d love to see them go toe-to-toe with whoever wins the AAC title, but that’s just me talkin’.

Cincinnati (10-1)
Next Opponent: at Memphis (Nov. 29)

Cincy’s regular season finale against Memphis this Saturday might actually be the first of back-to-back showdowns with the Tigers. Already slotted in for an appearance in the AAC title game, IF Memphis beats the Bearcats this Saturday we’ve got an automatic rematch slated for the AAC crown just seven days later. But if Cincinnati beats Memphis and Navy beats Houston this Saturday, that means we’ll have Cincy taking on Navy for the AAC title instead. Regardless, these next two weeks ought to be HIGHLY entertaining, regardless of the outcomes.

Memphis (10-1)
Next Opponent: vs. Cincinnati (Nov. 29)

You know what Memphis’ prize for beating Cincinnati this Saturday would be? That’s right, an opportunity to play Cincinnati all over again a week later in the AAC Championship Game. With the National Playoffs so out of the question, it's not even funny, it seems like the absolute best the Tigers can shoot for is an at large-slot in a New Year’s Six outing — although, as stated earlier, I think the Gods of College Football would prefer the Tigers (assuming they win the conference title) take on a certain blue-field-tested non-Power-Fiver instead … you know, assuming they win their conference title and stuff, too.)

Appalachian State (10-1)
Next Opponent: at Troy (Nov. 29)

No matter what happens in Saturday’s game against Troy, we know exactly where App State will be this time two Saturdays from now — taking on Louisiana to determine the winner of the Sun Belt Championship Game. While it seems preposterous to think the Mountaineers would get a New Year Six appearance pending the run the table, it seems almost impossible that they wouldn’t meet up with a halfway decent Power Five school to close out the bowl season. My, how ironic would it be if fate just so happened to give us another App State/Michigan offering in late December, eh?

Penn State (9-2)
Next Opponent: vs. Rutgers (Nov. 30)

Take it to the bank, the Nittany Diddlers are going to do very, VERY bad things to Rutgers over the weekend, so go on ahead and give ‘em that 10-2 final regular season record now and be done with it. Of course, from there, it becomes a little iffy determining what to do with ‘em from there; per ESPN, the most logical bowl bid would be against Texas A&M or Tennessee(?!?) in the Outback Bowl, which, yeah, sounds like a recipe for Blowout City (which, as a reminder, is totally different from Blowjob City, which is most definitely NOT the kinda’ place you want to send college students, especially the kind that grew up hanging around Jerry Sandusky and pals.)

Michigan (9-2)
Next Opponent: vs. Ohio State (Nov. 30)

Really, the only thing Michigan can do is look to play spoiler and upset the shit out of Ohio State this weekend. Of course, even if Big Blue did THAT, it wouldn’t get the Wolverines into the Big Ten title game, let alone the National Playoffs, so as Rivers Cuomo said back in 1996, “Why Bother?” Oh, and just for the LOLZ — ESPN projects Michigan playing in either the San Diego Community Credit Union Bowl or TaxSlayer Gator Bowl, because what’s the point of even having goals anymore?

Oregon (9-2)
Next Opponent: vs. Oregon State (Nov. 30)

Well, after Saturday’s shocking loss to Arizona State, not only is Oregon out of the National Playoffs picture, the entire PAC-12 is, too. Win or lose against the Beavers, the Ducks have a date with Utah for the conference crown in two weeks, where — at best — a Rose Bowl appearance is on the line. But hell, it could be worse; one ESPN bowl projection actually has them sliding all the way down to the Alamo Bowl, which is pretty much the remedial math class of Division I college bowl games, when you really think about it for a little bit.

Notre Dame (9-2)
Next Opponent: at Stanford (Nov. 30)

Assuming Notre Dame beats Stanford this Saturday (which they should), that leaves the Irish with a 10-2 record and absolutely no reason to be in the playoffs picture whatsoever. So, what do you do with a two-loss Notre Dame squad that would get ass-blasted by anybody in the final four? Well, per ESPN, the most logical endgame for ND at this juncture is an outing against Oklahoma State at the Camping World Bowl on Dec. 28 — which, in all sincerity, doesn’t sound like that bad of a game, really. 

Wisconsin (9-2)
Next Opponent: at Minnesota (Nov. 30)

IF Wisconisn beats Minnesota this Saturday, that means they’ll take on Ohio State for the Big Ten title. And if the Badgers beat the Buckeyes in a monumental upset — well, they still ain’t making the playoffs, and there’s no reason to even lie to ourselves about it, either. Per the ESPN, the likeliest postseason landing spot for the Badgers is a Citrus Bowl throwdown with Auburn on New Year’s Day, with a possible Rose Bowl bid in the cards, pending enough things go right for ‘em. Regardless — just expect Jonathan Taylor to run A LOT no matter who they’re playing against over the next couple of weeks. 

Navy (8-2)
Next Opponent: at Houston (Nov. 30)

If Navy beats Houston this weekend and Cincinnati beats Memphis, that means the Midshipmen will take on the Bearcats for the AAC title in two weeks time. From there, it’s destination unknown for Navy, who seem very, very unlikely to land in a decent bowl game, no matter how many games they win or lose over the next two weeks. Per the ESPN measurements, they’ve got Navy taking on UAV in the Jan. 02 Birmingham Bowl or taking on Louisville in the Military Bowl — which, uh, makes a lot of sense, I guess.

Air Force (9-2)
Next Opponent: vs. Wyoming (Nov. 30)

Having quietly won six in a row, the Falcons looked poised to notch their seventh consecutive “W” against Wyoming this weekend. While the MWC math keeps ‘em out of the championship game despite their record, it isn’t too unreasonable to assume that Air Force would have a halfway decent bowl bid lined up for later this year. As a matter of fact, the ESPN projects them taking on Ohio in the Armed Forces Bowl, which yeah, sounds … well, like utter and complete shit, to be honest with you. But hey, you never know: the Gods of Division I Ball might smile upon us, and instead we’ll get to see the Falcons take on a TRULY deserving foe like Central Michigan in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl … if we’re lucky.

Florida (9-2)
Next Opponent: vs. Florida State (Nov. 30)

Per ESPN, Florida is most likely to lock horns with Memphis in the Cotton Bowl Classic. That seems kinda’ weird to me, but you know, it’s been a weird season for the Gators all season long. Since the regular season finale against Florida State ought to be about as much fun as watching grass dry, might I suggest going back and rewatching the team’s 29-21 win over Kentucky from Sept. 14 instead? Hell, even game against TOWSON will probably be more competitive than what awaits us this Saturday, fam.

Louisiana (9-2)
Next Opponent: vs. UL-Monroe (Nov. 30)

Regardless of what happens against UL-Monroe this weekend, Louisiana is gonna’ wind up doing battle with App State in the Sun Belt Championship Game two weeks from now. Assuming the Ragin’ Cajuns win the next two on their schedule, common sense would dictate they would get slotted into a halfway decent bowl, almost certainly against a quasi-legitimate power-fiver … or hell, ESPN might be right, and they’ll end up taking on Western Michigan in the freakin’ LendingTree Bowl. Such is life, really. 

SMU (9-2)
Next Opponent: vs. Tulane (Nov. 30)

The Methodists had a good run — a better than anticipated one, for sure — but some tough losses down the stretch pretty much ensure SMU ain’t going to be seeing much in the way of primetime after this Saturday’s season finale against the Green Wave. According to ESPN projections, the most probably bowl bid for the Mustangs is a shindig with FIU and/or FAU at either the Tropical Smoothie Cafe Frisco Bowl or the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl — which, in some respects, might just be the most random goddamn sentence ever published on this website, the more I dwell upon it.

Oklahoma State (8-3)
Next Opponent: vs. Oklahoma Nov. 30)

Assuming the Cowboys pull off a huge, Long Dong Silver-esque upset over the Sooners this weekend, where will the Division I Ball higher-ups ultimately situate OK State in the grand scheme of bowl-related things? Well, ESPN anticipates Oklahoma State making it all the way to the Camping World Bowl on Dec. 28 against Notre Dame, which as stated earlier, doesn’t really sound like that bad of a not-really-worth-a-shit-bowl game. I mean, it definitely beats watching Liberty and Wyoming in the fuckin’ Armed Forces Bowl, don’t it?

Iowa (8-3)
Next Opponent: at Nebraska (Nov. 29)

To be realists here, this Saturday’s game against Nebraska doesn’t really add up to a hill of beans for either team. With a three-loss record (at best), ESPN predicts the Hawkeyes will ultimately find themselves playing in either the San Diego Community Credit Union Bowl or the TaxSlayer Gator Bowl, which is kinda like being asked to take an all-expenses paid business trip to, like, Cleveland, or something. I mean, yeah, it’s something to do, but is it really something you WANT to do, kids?


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