2019: The Year That Was

Proudly presenting the most needlessly lengthy article in TIIIA history

By: Jimbo X

JimboXAmerican@gmail.com

@Jimbo_American

Now here’s something I’ve wanted to do for several years now. And if it doesn’t diagnostically adjudicate me as autistic as fuck, I don’t know what would.

Basically, throughout the year that was, I kept a running track record of all of the important things that went down in ‘19. Of course, me being the compartmentalizing-prone motherfucker I am, I decided to break down such events and happenings by category, running the gamut from politics, sports and significant deaths to considerably more niche items (i.e., MMA, boxing, ‘rasslin and that ever-handy catchall of ephemeral, which is basically where I put all of the pop cultural/consumer cultural stuff I had nowhere else to info-dump.) The end result, I feel confident, is just about the most comprehensive recap of the truly important stuff that happened in 2019, be it broad-based geopolitical policy shifts to the more noteworthy junk food and snack food that was released over the last 365 days (and some change, since this thing is being published on the second of January.)

The list, I suppose, speaks for itself. Periodically you might see some signs and symbols like [A-] or [****]. Long story short, those are the subjective quality values I assigned whatever movies, boxing matches, MMA contests or pro wrestling bouts I watched over the year, and I think every now and then I even broke out the old IGN 0.1-incremental scale to review albums and whatnot. Now, considering the entire write-up comes out to WELL more than 36,000 words, I didn’t proofread this one that much, so I’m sure it’s littered with all sorts of hilarious misspellings and grammatical slip-ups, but you know what? If I’m going to give you ungrateful pricks almost 40,000 words worth of content to sum up an entire calendar year, that sorta’ shit ought to be considered par for the course. (Oh, and as preemptive measure: if you think I just copied and pasted tidbits from Wikipedia for some of these entries — in some circumstances, you’d actually be right.)

Time will tell if I do the same thing for 2020. But hey, that’s the future, and today, we are focused FIRMLY on the past — the immediate past, that is. So kick back, pour yourself a nice, refreshing beverage and get ready to wax nostalgic on the year that was … because, obviously, we have got a LOT to talk about here.

In fact, the list is SO comprehensive that Blogger wouldn't let me post the whole list in browser, so I guess you're gonna' have to make do with this scrollable PDF attachement below:

...and if you actually read all of this, holy shit, do you need to find some new hobbies.