Saturday, March 5, 2016

This Week in Social Justice Warrior-dom

A fond look back at all the things that had ultra-P.C. jihadists OUTRAGED ... before they forget all about them in just a few days.

By: Jimbo X

Ku Klux Karnage in Kalifornia!

Oh goodness, it was absolute bedlam in Anaheim last weekend, as three people were stabbed at a KKK demonstration and countless others were mercilessly beaten. Except, uh, the planned "White Lives Matter" demonstration never actually took place, as a swarm of anti-Klan counter-protesters mobbed the non-robed white supremacists before they even got out of their vehicles. Interestingly, media accounts of just how many Klansfolks and demonstrator-folks were there fluctuates; according to The New York Times, there were about 30 anti-racists waiting for the neo-KKK to show up, while The Los Angeles Times indicates there may have been as many as 100 anti-Klan protesters there to beat the living dog shit out of the handful of ironically-black-bedecked activists. What we do know for sure, however, is that the Klan absolutely had the snot knocked out of them, with videos emerging from the event showing demonstrators kicking befallen Klansman in the face, assaulting them with two-by-fours, triple-teaming defenseless "victims" and even sucker punching innocent people. While a number of protesters were stabbed at the event, three Klansman had their assault with a deadly weapon charges dropped because, well, it was clearly done out of self-defense; in all, just one individual involved with the melee remains behind bars, and per The Los Angeles Times, it is for a totally unrelated incident. Interestingly, the Klan asked the city of Anaheim to beef up their police presence prior to the event, but no cops were onsite when the rally began. Furthermore, Orange County shot down the KKK's attempts to hire its own private security force, meaning Anaheim officials really did a lot to ensure this thing was going to be a good old fashioned donnybrook from the get-go. While I think we can all agree that the Klan are some pretty messed up people and everything they believe in is pretty damned horrible, the First Amendment nonetheless guarantees them - and everybody else - the right to espouse their beliefs and peacefully assemble on public property. Unfortunately, "the right to break someone's car windows and kick them in the head because you disagree with them" isn't considered a valid form of free expression. As strange as it may sound, the Klan - in this instance at least - were the real victims of ideology-driven mob violence. Which in turn, dredges up that most inconvenient of moral quandaries: how in the world is violence-enforced "equality" any better than violence-enforced "inequality?" 

Your weekly does of #BLM hilarity

Of course, you really can't have This Week in Social Justice Warrior-dom without a firm analysis of all the wacky #BlackLivesMatter shenanigans going on out there in the world, and good golly, we've had some outstanding #BLM stories come down the pipes as of late, including these rib-ticklers and knee-slappers: 

Upstate New York mayor wants to open public heroin shooting facility

Ithaca Mayor Svante Myrick is pushing for an ... unorthodox, to say the least ... solution to the community's opiod addiction crisis. Tougher sentencing for drug dealers, you suppose? More policemen to crack down on trafficking, possibly? Well, none of the above, I am afraid: instead, Mr. Myrick wants to open up a taxpayer-funded, government-operated facility for smack addicts to bring their needles and "safely" shoot poison into their veins under the watchful eye of Narcan-toting staffers. Granted, the proposal is unlikely seeing as how heroin possession is illegal under both state and federal law, but there is precedent for operations of the sort, believe it or not - in fact, good old Canada has been running "smack shelters" for 15 years now. Still, some folks aren't too keen on the concept, including Cornell University law professor William Jacobson, who said he's not exactly sure how "normalizing the use helps the problem."

Hooray for horrific torture crimes!

As a species, I believe it behooves us to periodically reflect on the unavoidable truth that, deep down, a lot of us are a bunch of bloodthirsty animals who quite frankly, do not deserve to exist on the same plain of existence as the rest of us. Sound a little harsh, if not a bit totalitarian? Oh, it won't be after hearing about these sordid matters: 

California is the greatest state in the union, for oh so many reasons

You know, there's a lot more to the Golden State than absurdly high taxes and a handful of bankrupt municipalities. Indeed, there's all sorts of great things going on out West these days, such as: 

  • The Desert Sands Unified School District has done an about face on a policy allowing students to wear stickers featuring a rainbow flag with a big old Ghostbusters strike-through superimposed upon it. However, Superintendent Gary Rutherford assures us that although this inflammatory free expression as guaranteed by the Supreme Court in 1969's Tinker v. Des Moines holding has been momentarily banned, "free expression of these views is protected, within certain limits."
  • Conservative analyst Ben Shapiro had to be escorted out of California State University, Los Angeles to avoid being mauled by angry protesters. Multiple reports confirm student "demonstrators" blocked entrances to his speech and that at one point, a dissident pulled a fire alarm to break up the presentation. Shapiro's riposte is worth quoting in full: 
"If this sort of thing happened during classes at this university, the kid who pulled the fire alarm would be off this campus so fast it would make your head spin," Shapiro said. "But not you out there, the protesters, the special magical leftist children protected from the consequences of living in the real world with my taxpayer dollars. You get to shut us down for disagreeing with your thug tactics and your nasty, pathetic, evil ideology." 

Nothing says "equality" like, uh, not being "equal," for some reason

In the never-ending, dialectical-Marxist struggle for social dominance, it becomes apparent that, sometimes, in order to bring about more equality, you actually have to create environments were there is less equality. Case in point? The developers of the new smart phone app Equipay, which according to its developers, allows users to "split the cost of a meal in accordance with gender and racial income inequalities" based on generalized U.S. Department of Labor data. Meanwhile, the coordinators of Brooklyn's Cinder Block Comedy Festival are doing their part to equalize the playing field by charging white, heterosexual, "able-bodied" males 25 percent more to apply for performances. "This isn't Donald Trump's America," said a festival spokes-justice-warrior, "we don't need to know everything about you." But, uh, they do require entrants to submit a head shot with their application - not to be discriminatory or hypocritical or anything, you know.

Salon writers say the darndest things

Oh, Salon, that long-running bastion of paranoid, leftist propaganda and proponent of ironic anti-poor-white racism. While the website always has some doozies in store for readers, two recent posts really upped the ante when it comes to hyperbolic, identitarian agitprop. According to fictitious black person Chauncey Devega, the police state (which doesn't actually exist outside the rantings and ravings of political fundamentalists) coddles "white spree killers" like Jason Dalton and racial profiles innocent blacks and Muslims - although in his meandering screed about white folks representing a majority of mass shooters, Devega somehow conveniently leaves out the fact that a majority of the nation's homicides (facilitated with or without firearms) are the handiwork of, you guessed it, black people. On the opposite side of the aggreived-a-rama carousel, chunktastic smut peddler Rachel Kramer Bussel blasts vlogger Nicole Arbour for blasting Sports Illustrated for putting thick-thighed model Ashley Graham on the cover of their latest swimsuit edition. "Clearly to Arbour, it's not just that she's disgusted by fat people or images of not-thin models," Bussel states, "she also wants all of us to want to embody those standards and to hate ourselves if we don't. Perhaps, otherwise, her status as a thin person feels somehow less worthy if it's not exalted above all others" - which, ironically, is the exact same self-affirming mentality driving the whole "plus-sized model" craze. And is it just me, or does there seem to be a questionable lack of fat female or male bodies on the covers of Bussel's dozens of pornographic writings

Have a knife day, everybody!

With so many mass shootings going on nowadays, it's a bit refreshing knowing that some folks still have a fondness for good old fashioned stabbings. Indeed, an inexplicable rash of slashings - involving everything from box cutters to screwdrivers - in New York's subways has gotten so severe that 60 police officers have been put on full-time transit patrol duties. Cutlery-based attacks in the NYC have skyrocketed as of late, with an incredible 381 slashings and stabbings reported just two months into the calendar year. But, uh, since most of this is happening in Harlem, that may have some unfortunate racial-profiling implications, so it's probably for the best if we keep ignoring it. Oh, but what's this - a student in Canada went on a stabbing rampage at Dunbarton High School? That's much more in line with out accepted narrative of heterosexual, Caucasian-male destruction ... wait, you mean to tell me it was a fourteen year old girl who attacked five classmates and two staff members? Oh goddamnit, well at least we still have crazy ass white men running around shooting everybody, like that guy who in Kansas who killed three people and injured 14 others. Oh, wait a minute ... that was committed by a black dude? Uh, umm ... holy shit, look at those Donald Trump supporters shoving a black woman! Ah, there we go - boy, if it wasn't for that narrative of uni-directional oppression, who knows what sort of befuddling cognitive dissonance we would force ourselves to go through?

Let's hear it for higher education and their noble mission civilisatrice

It's the duty of America's illustrious institutions of higher education to ensure the next generation of citizens are level-headed, critical thinkers well-suited to run the nation's businesses, media, social services and political administrations. Or at least that's what they used to be used for - today, they're too busy convincing young people they are being vicitmized by intangible constructs, eroding their ability to objectively analyze information and distinguish opinion from fact and training them to be wholly dependent on hierarchical figures to solve their problems for them. Hyperbole, you disagree? Well, take a long, hard look at these recent college and university happenings and tell me I ain't preachin' the truth: 

Unbelievably, things actually happen in Iowa, sometimes

Like 99.9 percent of all human lifeforms, I don't know diddly about Iowa - I mean, they have a caucus there and Slipknot, but beyond that? I got nothing folks. That said, not just one BUT two fairly interesting stories sprung out of the Hawkeye State lately. On one end of the equation, some folks over at Perry High are screaming "ray, ray, RAY-CISM" because apparently, fans of rival school Dallas Center-Grimes chanted "Trump" and "USA" during a basketball game, and as we all know, the only acceptable definition of both of those terms are, of course, "we hate everybody who isn't white," naturally. Worried Iowa might be getting a little too liberal and thin-skinned? Well, don't fret too much, because the state's House of Representatives also passed a bill allowing children under the age of 14 to handle pistols and revolvers under the direct supervision of a parent or other legal guardian. Count dimmy-crat Kirsten Running-Marquardt among those who ain't too pleased with the new legislation. "What this bill does, the bill before us, allows for 1-year-olds, 2-year-olds, 3-year-olds, 4-year-olds to operate handguns," she said. "We do not need a militia of toddlers."

...and a few headlines that speak for themselves...


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