This Week in Social Justice Warrior-Dom ~ THE INTERNET IS IN AMERICA

A fond look back at all the things that had ultra P.C.-jihadists OUTRAGED ... before they forget all about them in just a few days.

By: Jimbo X

JimboXAmerican@gmail.com

@Jimbo__X

Media, special interest groups struggle to find self-benefiting angle to the worst mass shooting incident in modern U.S. history

For years, the liberal, secular-progressivist, pro-globalization, multiculturalism-uber-alles evangelists have strived to build a base around an eclectic mix of interests groups and minorities, who despite often sharing completely incompatible core beliefs, they theoretically assumed could be assembled as a "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" supergroup determined to take down that most villainous scourge, the white, heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied male power structure (bonus points if they are Protestant and conservative-leaning, of course.) Like some sort of rainbow-hued Allied Powers, the regressive left did all they could to unite feminists, LGBT folks, Hispanics, the African-American community and - especially in the wake of 9\11 - Muslim-Americans as their ideological infantry for a figurative D-Day against the old, Caucasian guard. They were the future, their political adversaries were the past, and by golly, hand-in-hand this quirky coalition of minority identitarians were destined to unseat all of those racist, xenophobic and intolerant honkies and make America the great country it never could have been with old Whitey in command of the vessel.

And then, the absolute worst modern mass shooting in U.S history transpired the morning of June 12. Forty-nine people - the overwhelming majority of them Hispanic and virtually all of them homosexual - were viciously gunned down by a carbine-toting attention-whore (he apparently checked his Facebook stream during the rampage to see how much publicity his early morning carnage was garnering) who, much to the dismay of leftist ideologues the world over - was also a pretty big fan of Allah.

As expected, the American media is having a field day with the Orlando massacre, which has provided the cable news outlets with a twisty-turny, subplot-laden melodrama that puts anything Shonda Rhimes has typed up to shame. Was the shooter secretly gay? How complicit was his wife in the rampage? How much did his father know, exactly? It's even got a horrifically ironic plot twist that seems like it could've been lifted from an old Tales From the Crypt comic - since the shooter donated blood days before the massacre, there is a very strong chance that one of the 50-plus survivors from the rampage wound up getting an emergency transfusion containing the plasma of the very man who tried to murder them.

Alas, the horrific incident has put the illiberal masses in a tough bind - one of their designated-protected-status special interests groups is undoubtedly responsible for mass murdering one of their OTHER designated-protected-status special interests groups, and there is virtually NO rational way to pin the blame on their "shared" ideological foe, the Republican, Christian, vagina-loving white man (indeed, the shooter himself appears to have fostered a pretty big disdain for the same group - not only was he a registered Democrat, he allegedly told black hostages that "they had suffered enough" and that he was actively targeting the lighter-skinned patrons of the night club.)

It's a tragic event that completely shatters the left's illusory idea of a coalesced, multicultural movement, and it certainly destroys their notion that the artificially forged "mass resistance" is one bound to the ideals of diversity, tolerance and ESPECIALLY non-violence. So, naturally, the agenda-driven faux-news sites and shameless advocacy groups did what they always do when something "problematic" arises - they simply ignored reality and started blaming it on the cis-het-white-male patriarchy anyway, stating that their impact on culture as a whole - while not directly inspiring the rampage, per se - is still pervasive enough to deflect blame from "their side" of the aisle.

Perhaps Amanda Marcotte's Salon screed "Overcompensation Nation" is the perfect place to start. Per Mrs. Marcotte, the real root cause of the Orlando massacre wasn't the bigoted, intolerant Islamic religion, but rather, the white-male manufactured and marketed "toxic masculinity," which she describes thus:

"Toxic masculinity is a specific model of manhood, geared towards dominance and control. It's a manhood that views women and LGBT people as inferior, sees sex as an act not of affection but domination and which vaporizes violence as the way to prove one's self to the world."

Which, of course, doesn't sound anything at all like Muslim culture, which is so tolerant of women that Pakistani senators DON'T threaten to rape activists on live TV broadcasts and the Qatar government DOESN'T arrest rape victims for committing "adultery." And of course, countries like Iran, Iraq, the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia are SO welcoming of homosexuals that they DON'T have laws on their books mandating gay people be executed for engaging in man-on-man loving in their own private quarters. And certainly, Islamic countries DON'T routinely post among the world's highest homicide rates and Islamic extremists AREN'T responsible for a near totality of the planet's religiously-motivated murders. You would NEVER hear about Muslim radicals murdering 2,000 people over the course of a few days in Nigeria, or plotting to toss gay people off rooftops in London, or recording themselves skinning dissidents alive and throwing their still-living, muscle-tissue-exposed bodies off cliffs. And even if they were, Marcotte theorizes, such horrendous acts ain't SHIT compared to the horrendous things white, Christian radicals are doing ... like refusing to leave empty wildlife refuges out in the middle of nowhere, picketing abortion clinics and protesting the funerals of dead gay people, which I think we can all agree is INCONTESTABLY a worse transgression than actually being responsible for those funerals in the first place.

After attacking Donald Trump and - for some inexplicable reason - the guys on Duck Dynasty for wearing beards, Marcotte goes on to blame the culture of "toxic masculinity" for ALL of America's gun violence, stating "this persistent pressure to constantly be proving manhood and warding off anything considered feminine or emasculating is the main reason why we have so many damn shootings in the United States ... the common theme is toxic masculinity, a desire on the part of the shooter to show off how much power and control he has, to take male dominance to the level of exerting control over life and death itself."

Alas, as to how this culture of "toxic masculinity" explains away the 1,000-plus homicides committed by women in the U.S. In 2014 - a disproportionate amount involving child victims, no less - uhh, well, umm ... oh shit, look, a bunch of white private school kids may have tried to lynch one of their black classmates! Whew, that was a close one ... for a minute there, I thought I was actually going to have to address REAL data instead of imaginary constructs!

But what if you want to find a different religion to peg the blame on? Well, The New York Times gave us not just one, but two meandering screeds blaming Christianity for promoting "a harmful atmosphere for gays." In the wake of the Orlando massacre, it is Christians - not Muslims - who ought to "repent for the ways they've helped create a culture that devalues LGBT people made in the image of God," writes blogger Julie Rodgers. Mercer University professor David P. Gushee does her one better, stating "even polite half-acceptance leaves LGBT people in a demeaning second-class position," which in turns makes it easier for non-Christians to demonize homosexuals. Interestingly, the Times - whose majority shareholder just so happens to be Mexico's wealthiest businessman - didn't dedicate too much ink to all of the homophobia ingrained in the Hispanic church, such as Verity Baptist Church in Sacramento, Calif., overseen by Roger Jimenez, who said "the tragedy is that more of them didn't die" shortly after the shooting. Nor was that much said about Jose de Jesus Manzo Corona, a Ministry of Development and Social Integration official in Jalisco, Mexico, who tweeted "too bad it was 50, not 100" just hours after news of the shooting broke. Considering how one of the most popular crowd chants in Mexican soccer is to call the other team's players "male prostitutes," maybe the Latinos ought to be taken to task for all the toxic anti-gay rancor in their communities, too?

But of course, the ultimate display of self-serving identity politicking came in the form of - surprise, surprise - a Black Lives Matter protester, who reckoned a June 13 community vigil at the University of Missouri mourning the lives of those lost in the shooting was a most opportune time to complain about white people. “I wish this many people came out to our racial demonstrations and our Black Lives Matter movements," the bespectacled "mourner" declared. "I don’t want to stand up here and be angry, because this isn’t for me, this isn’t for you, it’s for the people that we lost, and the people that we lose tomorrow, and the people that lost yesterday. But I thought I’d take a moment to list out some facts that many of you probably don’t know because you’re white."

So what's the big takeaway from all of this? Well, it's a cynical outlook, I know, but maybe - just maybe - nobody really gives a damn about the people who died in Orlando, other than the fact it gives them another talking point to promote their ideological propaganda. I'm sure the London vigils that transformed into voguing contests were well-meaning, but isn't using the brutal murders of 49 people you never personally knew as an on-ramp to celebrate your own identity politics - whether it's to promote LGBT pride, further an anti-gay agenda, support new gun controls measures or rally for less restrictive gun laws - kind of a callous, exploitative thing to do?

I'd be a little skeptical of all those outraged tears, folks: after all, to some people "tragedy" is nothing more than the most desirable form of publicity there is.

More fun with guns!

Of course, Orlando wasn't the only hot spot for hot lead over the last fortnight. Grab your N.R.A. hat, fellas, it's time to take aim at a whole bunch of other recent firearm-related tomfoolery that's been happening en masse these days:

The very same day of the Orlando shooting, Santa Monica police busted Indiana man James Howell for having a car filled with arms, munitions and low-level explosives materials. Considering Howell told police he was en route to that afternoon's LGBT pride festival, it doesn't take too much thinkin' to figure out what his plans could've been. Alas, Howell - who apparently was a homosexual himself - never got to his destination, and is now sitting in a L.A. county jail cell for a litany of weapons charges. Oh, and apparently, he's staring down some serious child molestation charges in his home state - a strangely relevant detail the mainstream media, for some inscrutable reason, choose to completely leave out of their narratives.
In Amarillo, Texas, 54-year-old Somali immigrant Mohammad Moghaddam - obviously, a Southern Baptist - waltzed on in to a Wal-Mart with a boom stick, fired a couple of shots at the ceiling above the checkout lanes and proceeded to hold two of his colleagues hostage before SWAT swooped in and shot his ass dead. Local officials are describing the June 14 incident as - what else? - an instance of "workplace violence."
Why let guys who revere a holy book that encourages the ingestion of camel pee have all the fun when it comes to firearm-assisted ideological violence? Such was the case in jolly old England, as British Labour Party MP Jo Cox was shot and stabbed in the city streets of Birstall by 52-year-old Tommy Mair, your typical odd-duck Limey nationalist shut-in who allegedly purchased a manual from the U.S. neo-Nazi group National Alliance in 1999, on June 16. Despite being an extraordinarily isolated incident, many pro-E.U., pro-multicultural sorts have already started writing diatribes with sensational headlines like "I Want My Country Back From Nasty Nationalists." Now, where are the equally apoplectic rants directed towards the seven Muslim immigrants who abducted almost 400 British girls and sold them into sex slavery? Under the rug - along with all the other hideous crimes perpetrated by British inhabitants who just so happen to share the same religion - might be a pretty good place to start looking.
While mass shootings are generally considered a crazy ass white man activity, the surprising statistical truth is that about three-quarters of all individuals responsible for mass shooting incidents (per FBI data, shootings in which four or more people are wounded or killed) in the country are actually African-American. The 2016 stats got bumped up June 13, when a 21-year-old black male went on a shooting spree in a Brooklyn playground. Five minors were injured in the episode, which police believe was spawned over a stolen backpack.
Of course, we can't leave out self-inflicted gun violence, and by golly, do we have a bizarre one coming out of the wild and woolly world of mixed martial arts. On June 12, former Bellator fighter Ivan Cole was fatally shot in - of all things - a game of Russian Roulette in Dallas. Meanwhile, 48-year-old homeless man Louis Anderson (not to be confused with Louie Anderson, naturally) is being investigated by police after apparently shooting himself accidentally with a concealed handgun on June 14 while waiting in line to buy a bagel and coffee. As to how a homeless man with no less than nine previous drug arrests was able to obtain a handgun in New York - let alone be able to afford a breakfast at Zabar's - remains unclear.

And no matter if you are pro-gun control or anti-gun control, there's at least one news story out there that ought to please you and your agenda-furthering ways. A proud pro-gunner? Then you should be pleased as punch that a CBS reporter who cooked up some documents for a piece meant to show how easy it is to get a semi-automatic weapon is now looking at potential felony federal charges for making a straw purchase. Not a fan of the gun lobby? Then don't be too sad - proving once and for all that concealed weapon carry is the solution to all of our mass violence problems, an Ohio gun shop owner was shot and killed by a student June 19, whose gun accidentally went off during - get ready for the cruel, cruel irony - a concealed weapons permit training class.

I am woman, hear me roar (and also, commit unspeakable crimes)

Here at The Internet Is In America, we wholeheartedly believe that men and women are equals in every conceivable way ... well, except for when it comes to athletics - we all know that's a recipe for disaster. One area we are particularly interested in leveling the playing field is in the domain of savage, cruel and inhumane violence. Long thought to be the bastion of the XY-chromosome set, the fairer sex is certainly making great strides in bringing a little perverse parity to ghastly crime these days; as such, we consider it both a pleasure and an honor to highlight the remarkable, trailblazing work of all the homicidal ladies listed below:

On June 13, a Denver jury sentenced 23-year-old Kelsey Newell-Skinner to 35 years in prison for beating her two-year-old daughter to death in 2014. She told the court that she had no recollections of murdering her own flesh and blood because she "couldn't remember anything after a hard night of drinking."
In Baltimore, 29-year-old Crystal Marie Wagner has been charged with the murder of her own mother in a mall parking lot June 12. Her mama wasn't the first person she has been charged with stabbing, either: she was already scheduled for a September court date for attempting to murder her husband last October.
Alongside her husband Thomas Joseph Westerman, Atlantan Kimberly Quinlan Lindsey is staring down serious child molestation charges stemming from an alleged incident involving a 6-year-old in 2011. Sound like stereotypical Georgian white trash? Well, both of the accused were high-ranking members of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, with Quinlan at one point overseeing $1.5 billion in terrorism preparedness funding. Amazingly enough, even after she was arrested for child abuse, Lindsey was still allowed to work for the CDC - and if that wasn't enough, she's also facing bestiality charges, as well.
Northern Ireland Muslim convert Lorna Moore, 34, has been given a two and a half year prison sentence for attempting to flee to Syria to reunite with her ISIS terrorist husband. Oh, and she planned on taking her three children with her, too.
In Philadelphia, 39-year-old Shavon Armstrong and 28-year-old Shintelle Smith have been charged with the murder of 26-year-old Toy Charda Bryant. Police found Bryant's corpse handcuffed, the apparent victim of prolonged torture. Per investigators, the gruesome stabbing and beating death stemmed from Bryant owing her murderers a mere $800 debt.
In Orlando, 20-year-old martial arts instructor Stephanie Figueroa has been arrested for sexting an 11-year-old boy. Among other charges, she is looking at multiple counts of attempted lewd or lascivious conduct, solicitation of a minor via computer, showing obscene material to a minor, unlawful use of a two-way communication device, child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
18-year-old San Diego area cheerleader Hailey Suder doesn't have too much to rah-rah-rah about these days. On June 20, she and two brothers - one of whom she was romantically involved with - went before a judge for their parts in the savage beating death of a homeless man last April. If convicted of the felony accessory to murder charges, she could wind up spending as many as three years and eight months in the slammer.
After copping a plea deal, Georgian teen Kayla Dixon will serve 40 years in prison for the 2014 shooting death of Danny Zeitz during a botched armed robbery. Dixon was just 16 years old at the time of the homicide, which was over, of all things, a Playstation 4.
In the outskirts of Atlanta, 16-year-old Antavian Love has been charged with the shooting death of 49-year-old Enrique Ramirex Trejo. She is also charged with theft by taking, theft by receiving and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony.
In Ohio, 26-year-old Tequila R. Mannering has been charged with the murder of her sixth-month-old son. Other charges pending from the June 19 homicide include one count apiece of involuntary manslaughter and child endangerment.

So that settles it: judging from how good they are at murdering their children, parents, friends and perfect strangers, women can't be considered anything short of men's equals in every category. I mean, sure, 85 percent of all female marines can't pass the same physical fitness exams that a statistically insignificant 97 percent of their male counterparts do, but when it comes to committing cold-blooded murder and ghastly abuse of minors? Sorry boys, anything we can do, they can clearly do better.

London bans "unrealistic body images" in local advertisements

In 2015, advertisements for Protein World, a dietary supplement manufacturer, were defaced in London subway stations. The ad, which featured a hot chick in a bikini, was criticized as "body shaming" by many irked passers-by, almost all of whom were probably envious that they lacked the will, self-control and discipline to stick to a regimented diet. Well, thanks to London's still kind of newish mayor Sadiq Khan - whom just so happens to be a Muslim - future mass transit enthusiasts won't be offended by such displays ever again. On June 13, Khan implemented a citywide ban on advertisements "promoting unrealistic expectations surrounding their bodies." Transport for London, the official agency that oversees the city's subway systems, lent Khan their support, releasing a statement declaring that they would no longer permit adverts that "could reasonably be seen as likely to conform to an unrealistic or unhealthy body shape, or as likely to create body-confidence issues, particularly among young people." Of course, one has to wonder if the ads are really promoting "unrealistic" beauty standards when, as evidenced by the existence of the poster board models themselves, they quite clearly are attainable. Furthermore, one has to wonder if the same "this ad shouldn't exist because it makes me feel bad that I haven't made something out of myself" rationale should be applicable to ads for luxury products, like designer clothing, ritzy watches and sports cars - I mean, doesn't Khan know how bad those ads make people without money feel about themselves? Alas, others have floated up the downright asinine assertion that Khan - as an aside, were you aware he is a practitioner of Islam? - made the unilateral call to ax the ads because his faith doesn't look to kindly upon ogling at the female form. Clearly, this was an preposterous claim totally invalidated by an anti-Brexit pit stop Khan made in Manchester, in which all of the female attendees of said speech were burka-clad and not-at-all-suspiciously clustered towards the back of the throng, which as a sheer coincidence, appears to have been about 99 percent brown-ish men.

#BlackCrimesMatter

Seeing as how African-Americans make up three-quarters of the NBA and nearly seventh-tenths of all NFL players, we here at IIIA sometimes worry that the nation's black populace sometimes get unfairly stereotyped as world-class athletes. Indeed, Lebron James and Khalil Mack are indeed some impressive physical specimens, but as surprising as this may be, not all black men in the United States are professional athletes. In fact, there are actually more black men who AREN'T pro sports stars than there are those who make millions of dollars playing big time ball, and - shocking, I know - some of them even, gasp, do illegal things, some of which are serious enough to warrant lengthy prison sentences. To help call attention to this completely aberrational and justly under-reported statistical quirk, it may be worthwhile to examine a small sample of some of the more recent (and most certainly unusual) instances of African-Americans doing something that is completely anathema to our accepted cultural narrative concerning the U.S. black experience - that is, committing insanely violent crimes.

In Oakland, Calif., a 16-year-old girl was killed and three others were wounded in a daylight drive-by. The two gunmen are still at large - the attack transpired during a community vigil for two local boys who had recently drowned.
On June 15, Chicagoan Antonio Perkins was shot in killed on the streets of the Lawndale neighborhood. The 28-year-old recorded his own murder live on his cell-phone.
Robert Marks, assistant principal of Brookstown Magnet Honors Academy in Baton Rouge, La., has been arrested for the murder of coworker Lyntell Washington, who was pregnant and allegedly threatening to go public about the two's extramarital affair. In addition to the first degree homicide and feticide charges, Marks has also been charged with kidnapping and deserting Washington's 3-year-old daughter.
Also in Louisiana, 19-year-old Jerman Neveaux has been arrested for murdering Jefferson Parish Sheriff's officer David Michel, Jr. on June 22. Sheriff Newell Norman described the homicide thus: "As (Michel) was going down, Neveaux was going down with the gun and fired two shots in his back," he said. "A cold-blooded murder."
Wondering how Chicagoans celebrated Father's Day weekend? If you said "with 59 shootings, 13 of them fatal," you sir, would be a horrible, horrible bigot ... nonetheless, a wholly accurate one.
Near Pittsburgh, Orlando Williams decided to show the 8-year-old son of his fiance what-fer by slamming his second-grade attending ass to the floor like he was The Undertaker. Alas, Mr. Williams put a little too much oomph in his powerbomb, and the young boy, well, kinda died. Already facing aggravated assault and child endangerment charges, looks like you can add "pedocide" to Williams' rap sheet very, very shortly.
You know, there are a lot of hurtful, untrue stereotypes that have circulated for a long time claiming that African-American individuals have an unnaturally strong craving for fried chicken and an equally aberrational predilection for theft. Of course, such assertions are callously prejudiced and ill-founded ... that is, unless you are talking about Cliff Hayes, a 67-year-old Mississippi man who broke into a Church's restaurant at 5 in the morning and stole several boxes of frozen poultry on June 21.
In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., a 16-year-old girl claims she was raped by eight teenage boys, who allegedly took turns sexually abusing her for several hours - with some of the heinous crime recorded on their cell phones. So far, five minors - the youngest reported thus far 16 - have been arrested and charged with multiple felony counts of sexual assault.

And in news that may indeed eerily portend a lot of mayhem later this summer, the Twitter account of top Black Lives Matter organizer DeRay McKesson was hacked June 10, revealing a "leaked" back-and-forth IM conversation with fellow BLM big wig Johnetta Elzie, who discussed, among other things, plans to cause so much havoc at the upcoming Republican and Democratic national conventions that martial law will be declared and Obama will get a third term of office. Now, this is the kind of stuff that's next to impossible to confirm 100 percent, but if there's even a granule of truth to what's been leaked (including insinuations that Attorney General Loretta Lynch has been actively coordinating "mass civil disobedience" strategies with BLM leaders), well, folks ... this might just be the eeriest calm before one of the biggest shit storms in American history.

A slew of happenings demonstrating the many, MANY advantages of being "disadvantaged"

Let's talk about "currency" for a minute. You know, the term isn't just applicable to money matters; indeed, there is a - pardon the pun - wealth of things out there that could be considered forms of de facto capital, like credit and reputation, that allow an individual just as much ability to get things done as good old fashioned moolah. Well, as judging by the recent-ish stories below, it looks like we can add a new cultural commodity to the list of valuable, exchangeable goods - frothy, ideology-driven, self-centered righteous indignation:

Led by civil rights icon John Lewis, a gaggle of Democratic congress-people decided to host a 27-hour sleepover on the floors of America's bicameral legislature to make a point about how damned important passing new gun control legislation is on June 22-23. Deciding that now was not the best time to take advantage of a national tragedy to support their own agendas and pout like five-year-olds because the meanies on the other side of the aisle wouldn't give them what they want, House and Senate Dems agreed to resume their battle against due process on July 5.
U.S. Sen. Bob Casey of Pennsylvania announced he was going to introduce "The Hate Crimes Prevention Act" to Congress on June 13. The measure, he said, is meant to keep firearms out of the hands of not only individuals convicted of misdemeanor hate crime charges, but even individuals "reasonably suspected of being guilty of a hate crime." I mean, where does it say in the Constitution that you need evidence and have to follow specific legal procedures to deprive someone of their rights, anyway?
Tamara Wyche, a 29-year-old graduate from the Harvard School of Law, is suing the New York Board of Law Examiners because she failed the bar. According to her suit, Wyche suffers from "debilitating panic attacks" and demanded to take the exam in a room separate from other exam-takers and be given more test time and breaks than everybody else. Despite being given these special accommodations, it should probably be noted that Wyche still managed to fail the bar three times.
Bloodroot, a self-described "feminist" restaurant in Connecticut that specializes in vegetarian cuisine, appears to have adopted an unorthodox strategy to gain the upper hand in the battle against "body-shaming" - they've decided to ban all patrons from discussing the caloric content of their food. By the way, that will soon be a federal violation, as a component of the Affordable Care Act requiring all restaurants to list the calorie counts of their menu offerings is set to take effect Dec. 2016.
Twitter SJW celebre "Briene of Snarth" has been heavily scrutinized after she made the following remarks after the body of drowned toddler Lane Graves was recovered near Disney World: "I'm so finished with white men's entitlement lately that I'm not really sad about a 2yo being eaten by a gator bc his daddy ignored signs." You know, if you look at the tragic death of a baby while snared in the teeth of a humongous reptile and the first thing that goes off in your head is "fuck the patriarchy," maybe it's time to reassess the healthiness of your ideological underpinnings, isn't it?
Looking for a cheap and easy way to make a cool $60,000? Well, sly opportunist ... I mean, unfortunate victim of transphobia Leo Seoll received just that amount from an elementary school in Oregon, after she filed a complaint stating that her (or he, or they, or them) was referenced by the wrong pronoun. As a result of the "emotional damage" Seoll experienced, the district has announced that it will now roll out "gender neutral" restrooms at all of their schools.

And of course, you can't have an installment of This Week in Social Justice Warrior-Dom without touching upon all of the wacky, "multiculturalism uber alles" shenanigans going on across U.S colleges and universities. Wondering what our future caretakers and governors are learning in the hallowed halls of higher education (and on the taxpayers' doles, no less?) Well, at Wayne State they've dropped a freshmen mathematics course in favor of a diversity workshop, students at Western Washington University are demanding that an "Office of Social Transformation" be established to police students and professors from using "cissexist" and "ableist" language, Yale is contemplating dropping works by white poets from their required reading list, the University of Northern Colorado is using a "bias response team" to go after faculty members who dare promote anything in class other than a "fuck the white man" pro-globalization philosophy, Emory University is proudly pimping the shit out of a black professor's new book that blames all of the failings of inner city blacks on "white rage," and UC-Irvine temporarily suspended its College Republicans club because ... well, just because, it appears. Alas, there is indeed a silver lining here; according to the most recent U.S. News & World Report estimates, about 40 percent of all individuals who attend college never earn a diploma, which means their chances of applying all of that cultural Marxist pseudo-radical commie claptrap in the real world are virtually nil.

The downside? They still have an unlimited number of chances to keep failing in higher education, and guess who's paying the bill for them to flunk introductory algebra for the 42nd time?

United States Department of Justice censors Orlando shooting 911 transcripts for our own good

On June 20, the United States' Department of Justice released an official transcript of one of the phone calls the Orlando massacre gunman made to 911 responders. But, uh, there was just one, slight, insignificant little hitch: the transcripts were heavily, HEAVILY redacted, with such cryptic, indecipherable "quotes" from the shooter as "I pledge allegiance to [omitted], may God protect him [in Arabic], on behalf of [omitted.]" After ferocious (and entirely justified) blowback on social media from irked legislators and taxpayers alike, the FBI eventually released a slightly less redacted version of the 911 transcript, which still contains numerous portions vaguely referred to as "[Arabic]," which yeah, probably means he was screaming "Allahu Akbar" over and over again and Loretta Lynch don't want to publicize it. Interestingly, the DOJ still hasn't posted the transcript for the shooter's second 911 phone call, which FBI officials have gone on record saying it contains juicier tidbits about the shooter's potential links to other Islamofascist terrorists. So, uh, why exactly did the DOJ censor the transcripts so heavily? Per Tampa FBI field officer Ron Hopper, "part of the redacting is meant to not give credence to individuals who have done terrorist attacks in the past ... we're not going to propagate their rhetoric, their violent rhetoric, and we see no value in putting these individuals' names back out there." Of course, the FBI could also just release the 911 audio in full and let the masses decide for themselves what the shooter's motivations may have been, but by golly, if that were to happen, people may accidentally assume that some Muslim people may be prejudiced, homicidally violent ideologues who pose a grave threat to national security. Fifty bullet riddled corpses is one thing, but the notion that someone may have their general anxieties about an ethnic minority even partially affirmed by 911 audio? Yeah, better keep this one under lock and key for the long-term ...

News anchor fired for saying statistically verified, scientifically irrefutable things about black community sues former employer

On March 30, Pittsburgh-area news anchor Wendy Bell got shit-canned for making "insensitive remarks" on Facebook. Commenting on the shooting of five black people March 9, Bell stated the following:

"You needn't be a criminal profiler to draw a mental sketch of the killers who broke so many heats. They are young black men, likely in their teens or in their early 20s. They have multiple siblings from multiple fathers and their mothers work multiple jobs. These boys have been in the system before. They've grown up there. They know the police. They've been arrested."

Despite virtually everything Bell said in the post being 100 percent, federal-data-backed factual statements (which were even backed up publicly by our noble Commander in Chief), WTAE got antsy when some social media opportunists with a brazen aversion to indisputable reality started saying the 21-time Emmy Award winner's words were, you guessed it, "racist." Well, Bell decided she wasn't going to take that kind of Orwellian, reverse-populist McCarthyist bullshit and turned around and sued her former employer June 20 for violating her civil rights. "Ms. Bell's posting of concern for the African-American community stung by mass shooting was clearly and obviously not intended to be racially offensive," the suit states. "Had Ms' Bell written the same comments about white criminal suspect or had her race not have been white, [the] defendant would not have fired her, much less disciplined her."

And as for why those gravely offended by Bell's comments AREN'T equally offended by the reality of young, black male violence and its scientifically-validated ties to father absenteeism? Apparently, pointing out the existence of a problem in African-American communities is more offensive than completely ignoring its root causes and letting the cycle of misery perpetuate from generation to generation.

The "rape cultures" we're NOT discussing

So last week, there was furor a plenty over Brock Turner, the Stanford university student-athlete who received a six-month sentence for sexually molesting - but not technically raping - a drunk woman at a social mixer. Surely, the massive outrage had little to do with the circumstantial elements of the incident (what, with Turner pretty much being the poster child for what most neo-neo-liberals would deem "white privilege,") and everything to do with collective outrage over the unspeakable savagery of the crime itself. However, if the universal outrage over "rape culture" indeed revolves around a shared hatred of the despicable crime of rape itself, where were the same people calling for the judge in the Turner case to be publicly flogged when the news broke about Chad Cameron Camp, the 26-year-old Oregonian who allegedly spent half an hour grouping a 13 year old girl on a June 15 American Airlines flight? Furthermore, were was the same white-hot anger when a 19-year-old Yemeni immigrant was given 18 months probation for raping a Swedish 13-year-old (which local authorities, unbelievably, blamed on the nation's "Nordic drinking culture?") And where are the outraged protesters clamoring for justice for 15-year-old Karen Perez, whose brutal rape and strangulation was recorded on camera by her underage boyfriend in Texas? And for the love of Christ, why isn't anyway going on a Cosby-esque, legacy-destroying revisionist purge after police documents confirming that Michael Jackson stockpiled child pornography at the Neverland Ranch were made public? Judging from the tepid response from the miscellaneous SJW camps out there, it looks like the only time rape is worth combating with a public show of force is when it involves a college campus and a ready-made villain who nails all the check boxes - white, male, wealthy, straight, Protestant, conservative and "able-bodied" - necessary to further their pro-diversity, patriarchy-disestablishing Tao. Oh, and if you are the victim of anyone who doesn't fit that description? Sucks to be you - in the eyes of the ultra-progressivists, your horrific abuse only has value if you get assaulted by the "right" kind of rapist.

Illegal immigrant tries to kill Donald Trump; media remains mum, online detractors praise would-be assassin

Imagine, if you still possess such faculties, the media's reaction if an assassination attempt was made against Hilary Clinton or Barack Obama at a public rally. Go ahead, feel free to select your own cultural pariah boogeyman - a Klansman with a homemade radioactive cannon, a gay-hating preacher who says homosexuals will be cursed with literal flaming buttholes, etc. Empirical wisdom would suggest that such an event would draw heavy scrutiny from the media, if not receive around the clock, updated-every-30-seconds wall-to-wall multi-platform coverage.

Well, when 19-year-old Brit Michael Sanford - irony of ironies, one of them there "illegal immigrants" the old Trumpster ain't too keen on - attempted to wrestle a handgun away from a security officer at a June 19 pro-Donald rally in Las Vegas, the startling incident barely made a blip on the national radar. According to the Secret Service, Sanford - an autistic fan of Robot Wars - drove all the way from Hoboken, N.J. to murder the presumptive Republican presidential candidate.

While a motive for the crime - which would net Sanford 10 years in the pokey - have yet to surface, his parents blame it on his anorexia, OCD and the fact that he was stark-raving bonkers over a girl who didn't like him back. Meanwhile, commentators on sites like Buzzfeed have taken it upon themselves to congratulate the illegal Briton for his efforts to rub out The Donald.

"Don't blame him really, everyone always says they would have killed Hitler if they had the chance," writes a young woman named Syd Monroe, who claims to be "owner at self-employed." Continuing, she states "I wonder had he succeeded what would all of Drumpf's avid anti-gun supportors [sic] done then?"

"Dont' give up on your obsessive-compulsive goals, Michael," writes Rick Mulcahy of Colby College. "Best of luck in future Trump stalkings."

"Finally someone took some initiative to do what many of us are thinking (and don't fucking deny it either!)," writes Azure Adams, who claims to be a clinician at Southwest Behavioral Health. "But 19 year olds are not the best at planning these kinds of things and effectively carrying them out. So next assassin, you are up."

"I hope someone blows that racist fucker's head off," writes James Eastwood. "He is one of one of the only people whose death I would cheer for. I will be throwing a huge party is [sic] Donald Trump does die..."

And to think: the media wants us to believe Trump supporters are the radicals we ought to be deathly afraid of!

...and a few headlines that speak for themselves...

Philadelphia man commandeers monster truck, small armory to rescue New York girl from clutches of heroin dealer

Alleged gay lover of Orlando massacre shooter claims killer did it to get revenge against Puerto Ricans