Saturday, September 3, 2016

This Week in Social Justice Warrior-Dom

A fond look back at all the things that had ultra-P.C. jihadists outraged ... before they forget all about them in just a few days.

By: Jimbo X

Political correctness, academia and you: a primer

Running a biweekly column entitled This Week in Social Justice Warrior-dom, it often gets a little tiresome stating the same-old, same-old about the excesses of America's ultra-aggrieved, ultra-offended and ultra-entitled politically correct campus culture. With classes resuming at our nation's most illustrious places of higher indoctrination education, I reckon it is nonetheless my civic duty to explore and criticize the matter, for the betterment of all peoples

At heart, "political correctness" is a sort of groupthink primarily affecting progressive white folks (indeed, only recently has the P.C. tongue been formally adopted by minority special interests groups.) The whole idea of political correctness in contemporary America, I believe, is to make rich ass white people who make hundreds of thousands a year working at public universities feel less guilty about the fact they've never really experienced any kind of hardships in their own lives whatsoever. Of course, they can't blame themselves for the shitty lives others have had to live, so they instead deflect their guilt upon other rich white people with different political convictions. Hence, the virtual canonization of things like "white privilege" and "microaggressions" as not just college concepts, but codified campus doctrine

By design, the current P.C. Tao in the States has no intentions at all of promoting "equality" as Booker T. Washington or Malcolm X understood the terms. Rather than demand all people, regardless of race, gender, sexuality, national origin or religion be treated the same and beholden to the same standards under a fair, universally applicable law, this new-new-wave political correctness posits all people of color as the bottom dyad of some sort of abstruse, invisible power struggle, with all people of non-color representing the (subconsciously or consciously) oppressive upper house of U.S. society. As a a matter of fact, the people-of-non-color (even though white is technically the combination of all colors, and black is the absolute absence of color, scientifically) have so much power in this unspoken, psychological steel cage ladder match for the soul of Western Civilization that the only way people of color can achieve equality is to make the people of non-color less powerful. Therefore, to achieve this equality, we need to give people of color special privileges and benefits that people of non-color do not receive, because theoretically, they are already well ahead of their more melanated brethren, anyway.

Of course, this is a pretty stupid idea, which completely disregards the insane idea that socioeconomic prejudice, not ethnoracial prejudice, might be the true engine of class-based stratification in these United States. Furthermore, by lumping all non-white students into an oppositional faction, one is indeed declaring that several ethnic groups with median earnings and educational obtainment rates far surpassing those of American whites - including Indian, Taiwanese, Filipino, Japanese, Chinese, Iranian, Pakistani, Indonesian, Syrian and Nigerian-Americans - are somehow less advantaged and less powerful than the people they out-earn by a considerable margin. 

So what exactly is supposed to be gained culturally from weaning an entire generation on the idea that non-whites ought to form counterweight social blocs to sap away the "power" of white elitists? The endgame most diversity proponents tell you is that it will make the nation more tolerant of each other and stamp out any and all notions of "racist" thought (or, at least make it so socially unacceptable that no one would feel at ease making even their slightest objections made known for fear of public backlash.) The thing is, this whole political correctness jihad is naturally racist, openly promotes balkanization and distrust of others and, at the end of the day, ultimately benefits the true stewards of white privilege more than it harms them. 

Case in point: take a gander at what's going on at Binghamton University, where students are now taking part in residential assistant training seminars titled, I shit you not, "#StopWhitePeople2K16." The session is described as being designed to "help others take the next step in understanding diversity, privilege, and the society we function in," additionally promising to help attendees respond when they hear contrarian "'good arguments from uneducated people." Displaying an atypical amount of insight for a college lad, one Howard Hecht of The Binghamton Review responded with the following: 

Obviously, something as superficial as a person’s skin color should not determine their worth. To assume so would only create divisions between people for the pettiest of reasons. Why, then, would it ever be productive to directly refer to someone’s skin color as something which makes them worth “stopping?” Furthermore, if Binghamton University is going to endorse “stopping” someone due to his or her skin color, without any explanation for why he or she must be “stopped,” would that not be a real example of racism on campus?

That's a million dollar question, to be sure. And methinks the second sentence of Hecht's observation more or less fully explains the rise of P.C. doctrine in American higher education. The intent of enforced multiculturalism isn't to unite, it's to fragment - to keep everybody at each other's throats so there is no palpable threat of the have-nots coming together to challenge the haves.

Language is a very, very powerful thing. In fact, language dictates our very ability to think - whoever controls the meaning and definition and symbolism of words, ultimately, controls our every thought. Call me cynical, if you will, but something tells me that many of the most hardcore P.C. crusaders out there aren't in the hunt to make the world a better place or even create an environment more closely resembling their ideals, but simply because they themselves want power. They want to be able to lord over people and tell them what they can and can't do, and they want to have the ability to punish others for merely thinking different thoughts than they do. 

Yeah, that sounds like your rank-and-file alt-right Voat circle-jerkin' conspiracy claptrap, but the frank reality is that such is indeed becoming a state-sanctioned mandate upon students at public universities throughout America. All you have to do is take a gander at the University of Wiconson-Milwaukee's "Inclusive Excellence Center. Taking Orwellianism to lofty new heights, the IEC has implemented a new program called "Just Words?" which seeks to root out not just established slurs, but terms such as "lame," "deaf" and "third world," which they believe are secret code words for more nefarious terminology. So, like all good tyrants, they're now attempting to penalize people not for the things they say, but because of the things they think they are thinking while they say them.

As a matter of fact, the IEC has gone as far as to declare the use of the term "politically correct" itself to be inherently offensive. "Over time PC has become a way to deflect, say that people are too sensitive and police language," UWM declares, gloriously unaware of the hilarious irony - and hypocrisy - of the statement. "It is disconnected from authentic understanding of impact."

And therein lies the poison pill of the P.C. Wehrmacht. Try as they may, there's no way around the fact that these college campus crusaders are the true oppressors, not only surviving and thriving of the taxes of people who have never stepped foot on campus, but ultimately embodying the very definition of a state-mandated ideology. UWM receives state subsidies, its staff and faculty are considered public employees and by enforcing things like "Just Words?," they are indeed representatives of the very state-sponsored despotism they claim to despise. 

Perhaps portending some major court challenges in the future, Ari Cohn of the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education put it thus:
While universities are free to educate students about the impact of certain words or language and encourage them to consider that while speaking to one another, such efforts must be strictly aspirational. A university that engages in a campaign like this must be careful and make clear to students that no administrative or disciplinary action will be taken against those who do not agree or comply with the universities views.”
Hold on to you graduation caps, folks. Something tells me by the time winter break rolls around, we're going to have plenty of academic ataxia and higher education entropy to churn through.

This week's top ten black-on-white violent crimes

Day in, day out, we are bombarded with news stories heralding the absolute breakdown of white-black race relations in America. Alas, while stories about white police officers and the occasional Hispanic man who the media refuses to acknowledge as Hispanic killing innocent black people gobble up the headlines, the hard Department of Justice statistics paint a much different portrait of reality: one in which black people commit violent crimes against white people at five times the rate white people commit violent crimes against them, despite there being five times as many Caucasians in the U.S. as African-Americans. As such, we here at The Internet Is In America feels it is our civic - nay, our humanitarian - obligation to put a spotlight on such ghastly (yet, statistically uncommon) incidents of black-on-white mayhem, if nothing else, for sheer documentation purposes. But also, because we're kind of morbid pricks, we'll be doing so in your standard Casey Kaseem top ten countdown format. Ready to get the honky beatin' hootenanny rolling? Let's take the whitey-bashin' from the top, fellas...

10.) In Akron, Ohio, a gaggle of five African-American men and two white men (ranging in ages from 18 to 25) attacked and robbed a group of seven white people in the early morning hours of Aug. 21. According to police, the assailants chanted "black lives matter" while punching, kicking and pummeling the victims with bottles.

09.) In the U.K. city of Mitcham on Aug. 25, an 84-year-old woman was viciously attacked by an assailant described by police as "a dark-skinned male, about 20 to 25 years old, wearing a dark-colored hooded top." During the purse snatching, the attacker left a two-inches-deep gash on top of the octogenarian's skull.

08.) In Kalamazoo, Mich., a 20-year-old woman claims she was robbed at gun- and knife-point by two Western Michigan University football players. During the apartment invasion, Bryson White, 20, and Ron George, 18, allegedly threatened to sexually assault the victim while they pilfered through her belongings. According to police, the two managed to get away with barely $400 in stolen goods

07.) In Memphis, 30-year-old Joseph Proffitt was sentenced to 14 to 30 years in jail on Aug. 25 for his part in a 2012 armed robbery in which a tow truck driver was shot and paralyzed below his chest for the remainder of his life. David Proffitt, Joseph's brother, pleaded guilty and will face 8 to 12 years behind bars for his role in the crime. 

06.) In the suburbs of Houston, 33-year-old James Combs has been charged with intoxicated manslaughter after killing 36-year-old Brian Manring in a head-on-collision. By the way, Combs is an officer for the Houston Police Department

05.) In rural Georgia, 26-year-old Michael Moore (uh, no relation, probably) was shot and killed outside his home following an altercation with three men. Herbert Robinson - a 16-year-old child - has been identified as a suspect in the slaying

04.) In Greenville, S.C., 25-year-old Christopher Satterfield was shot and killed during an apparent armed robbery. According to investigators, four individuals - Desmond Jackson, Elijah Williams, Shake Curry and Shamar Sullivan, whose ages range from 18 to 24 - decided to rob, and eventually gun down, the victim when he asked them to pay "too much" for a set of speakers

03.) On Aug. 27, Toronto police discovered the body of 61-year-old Peggy Ann Smith in an alleyway behind her housing complex. According to investigators, Smith may have been shot as many as ten times; surveillance footage shows two men with "dark complexions," who appear to be in their teens or early 20s, fleeing from the scene of her murder. Police have hypothesized that Smith was "accidentally" targeted in an attempted "walk-by" shooting.

02.) In Birmingham, Ala., 18-year-old Thomas Sims has been charged with the murder of 85-year-old Gene Dacus. Sims, already in custody for an earlier armed robbery, confessed to officials that he set the Korean War veteran on fire after stealing his truck. Birmingham police are actively seeking a second suspect in connection with the capital homicide. "This heinous act was totally senseless and totally unnecessary," said city police lieutenant Sean Edwards.

...and this week's selection for the absolute worst instance of black on white crime goes to...

01.) 46-year-old Rodney Earl Sanders of Kosciusko, Mississippi! REALLY raising the bar for disgusting interracial mayhem, he was formally charged Aug. 25 with the double homicide of two nuns - Sister Paula Merrill and Sister Margaret Held, both 68 - who worked as nurses at a clinic in Holmes County and - irony of ironies - provided care to among the poorest black people in the United States. Sanders later confessed to stabbing the two to death, but a motive for the slaying remains unclear (you know, as if there could ever be a logical excuse for butchering two elderly women to death during a home invasion.) As it turns out, Sanders had a pretty long rap sheet - he was convicted of armed robbery in 1986 but got out after serving six years. He also got popped for felony DUI last year, but what do you know, the great state of Mississippi reckoned he wasn't that big of a threat to society so they let him go free
Two butchered nuns later, one has to wonder if those bleeding hearts mayhap regret the mercy and compassion they displayed for a remorseless career criminal in hindsight.

Newark's '24 Hours of Peace' celebration concludes with two fatalities and one seriously wounded 

Kids, let old Jimbo give you a quick primer on what the term "ironic" really means. Ironic, contrary to popular misconception, isn't a stand-in for the term "hypocrisy." Nor is it interchangeable with "tragic" or "unusual" or "unexpected." What ironic really implies is that something has occurred with the exact opposite outcome compared to what was anticipated to happen. For example, if a pro-life activist gets run over and killed by a Planned Parenthood van, it's "unusual" and "unexpected," but it's not really ironic since nobody really expected the person to get run over in the first place. Now, if a pro-life activist gets run over while trying to block a Planned Parenthood van, that's a little bit closer to being ironic, but it still isn't quite there. Now, if a pro-life activist accidentally runs over and kills a Planned Parenthood employee in a vehicle adorned with "pro-life" stickers, now that's pretty damned ironic. Still, as ironic as that hypothetical situation may be, it ain't got shit on what transpired in New Jersey recently. For the last five years, the city of Newark has hosted an annual event called "24 Hours of Peace," which aspires to deter violent crime by promoting a whole host of community events. Well, 2016's shindig didn't exactly go as planned: by 10:45 p.m., 19-year-old Kevin Baker had already been shot dead in the city streets, with 24-year-old Robert Harrison, Jr. shot and killed barely an hour later. A female acquaintance with Harrison was also shot, and remains in critical condition, per Newark police. Then again, one has to wonder if describing the event as "ironic" is really all that fitting - especially seeing as how two men were killed at last year's "24 Hours of Peace" event, as well.

UNC students upset gender-neutral bathroom signage isn't gender-neutral enough

I know I'm not the first person to propose the notion, but do you possibly think that a lot of these self-ordained social justice crusaders are less concerned about achieving social revolution than they are finding something to endlessly bitch and bicker about? The fine, upstanding students and junior Trotskyites at the University of North Carolina are an outstanding example. You see, even though the university already has more than 150 bathrooms across its sprawling campuses designated as non-gender specific, some progressivist types are pissed that school changed its bathrooms signage from featuring a weird-ass, hard-to-interpret Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Prince-looking insignia to side-by-side pictographs of male and female pissers and shitters. "I think people will look at the new signs and think they look similar because you can still use the bathroom whether you're male or female in accordance to the new signs, but it blatantly excludes people that don't conform to gender binaries," said one aggrieved student in The Daily Tar Heel. "Our old signs didn't do that. They were inclusive of all gender identities and expressions." By the way, here's what was posted on the old bathroom signage ... yeah, nothing hard to deduce about what the fuck that's supposed to mean at all, right?

San Francisco 49ers quarterback refuses to stand for National Anthem because "racism"

As among the most prolific and recognizable entertainers in the world, professional athletes find themselves in opportune positions to promote whatever sociopolitical causes they consider worthwhile. Alas, people who get paid millions of dollars to get hit in the skull repeatedly, surprisingly, aren't exactly the sagest souls out there, as San Francisco 49ers quarterback and one-time Super Bowl starter Colin Kaepernick recently demonstrated. Kaepernick, who for the record is of mixed-race and really, really likes turtles, has refused to acknowledge The Star Spangled Banner for at least two preseason NFL games. "I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color," Kaepernick said. "To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder." Of course, Kaepernick is entitled to his opinion, but unfortunately, he is not entitled to his own facts. Among other things Kaepernick's rationale for turning his back on the flag conveniently glosses over?

Granted, we here at the Internet Is In America wholeheartedly embrace freedom of expression no matter the content of said speech, and if Mr. Kaepernick wants to take a break from retweeting everything make-believe black person Shaun King posts on Twitter to say incredibly generalized things about white people being racist scalawags, more power to him. All that we ask of him is that he shows that same ingrained respect to those who foster different opinions and perspectives, and formally acknowledge criticism of his statements as valid and not just write them off as the hate-drunk musings of a cyber Klansman. Which - as we all know by now - is kinda' like asking an ADD chihuahua to stop shaking while eating a Popsicle, but still, we at least try to keep up the facade of principles around these parts. 

But then again, considering how shitty Colin K has been playing the last few seasons, maybe all of that sitting out he's doing during the National Anthem is just practice for all of the benchwarming he'll undoubtedly be doing throughout the upcoming season. And let's face it - Kaepernick losing his job to a guy this fucking white has to be the epitome of karma. 

Cue "What a Wonderful World" as we recount the most whimsical global happenings of the last fortnight

Honestly, I think the world would be a much better place if instead of focusing on the common decency of all people, we instead came to a steadfast agreement that - regardless of color, creed, language, sexual orientation, nationality or faith - we can all be some downright awful motherfuckers who commit crimes so shocking, obscene and stomach-churning, it secretly kinda' makes you wish for an asteroid to wipe us off the map before we really start getting out of control. 

White, black, man, woman, straight, gay, Christian, Muslim - deep down, all of us have the capacity to bring about insane, inhumane carnage and mayhem, as these unfortunate stories below surely indicate... 

And proving that virtually everything has the capacity to be weaponized these days, 28-year-old Derricka Dixon of Toledo, Ohio, has been arrested by police after she assaulted a 7-Eleven employee with a plate of nacho cheese. Strangely, the media has remained suspiciously mum about Dixon's even greater social justice trespass - that being, appropriating Mexican cuisine for use in a violent crime against an Indian-American. 

The Huffington Post writer slams 'smug white liberals'

The nonstop white-guilt-perpetuating, Donald-Trump-campaign-deriding, revenue-hemorrhaging, all-day-and-night-nonstop-shit-producer The Huffington Post recently ran a fairly unexpected little diatribe from Nikki Johnson-Huston (who grew up to become a lawyer after experiencing homelessness as a child) titled "The Culture of the Smug White Liberal."  The surprisingly critical (and well thought out) piece includes many a gem of a quote, including the following pearls of wisdom/truth that I don't think any of us thought we would've lived long enough to have seen printed in HuffPo:

As you would expect, Johnson-Huston's article was rather well received by the (suspiciously mayonnaise-hued) libertarian set, while members of the "black twitter community" largely responded with critical comments about Jews and homosexuals "stealing" their status as nation's number one victimized class

Hope Solo banned from soccer because she hurt feelings of other players

One of the big misconceptions about the whole anti-SJW/anti-P.C. movement is that it's primarily a coded phenomenon that allows white men to say all sorts of crypto-racist, quasi-sexist and semi-homophobic things without having to wear the big scarlet B for "bigot." In actuality, it seems more a race, gender and sexual orientation-neutral counteroffensive against the general softening of the masses, a last stand against the growing tide of anti-free speech sentiment demanding the nanny state reinterpret the First Amendment as "the right to not be exposed to things you don't like." And perhaps no recent phenomenon demonstrates the great cultural jihad against free expression more than Hope Solo's recent ousting from the U.S. women's national soccer team for calling Sweden's national team, and I quote, "a bunch of cowards." Yes, arguably the best women's goaltender in the world was dropped because she thought the Swedes' played an overly cautious game at the Olympics - which, in the eyes of the U.S. national team, is apparently a worse transgression than going for a joyride with your shitfaced husband and beating the dog shit out of your half-sister and her 17-year-old son in a drunken stupor. Of course, if you think this is an issue that's going to remain without some victim-carding of Solo's own, think again. "She was fired for making comments that a man never would have been fired for," said legal counselor Rich Nichols.

British teen commits suicide because she was fearful people thought she was racist

Remember when all of those "cluster suicides" broke out a few years back, with gay high schoolers killing themselves en masse, and LGBT interests fully exploited ... I mean, put a spotlight on ... the tragedies for their own political gain ... I mean, to highlight the high cost of rampant homophobia in U.S. cultureHow terrible it was that these poor youths, so overwhelmed by society's ostracization and alienation, decided to end their own lives simply because they didn't feel that culture at large would afford them the liberty to be who they really were. Well, portending what may very well be the next great trend in social issue-driven youth suicide, Phoebe Connop, a 16-year-old girl in Halesowen, hung herself after digitally altered photos featuring her with a slightly darkened complexion started making the Internet rounds. "There had been some negative reaction and she confided in her friend, who did take the image down at her request," said a detective investigating the suicide. "She was scared of what the reaction might be from the Asian community in her area."

Well, there you have it, folks. If society keeps reiterating that being perceived as racist - whether or not you actually are racist - is the absolute worst thing that can happen to a person don't be surprised when a lot of highly impressionable young 'uns, weaned on a steady diet of white guilt and antidepressants, overreact in typical adolescent fashion and take you up on your offer. 

Local governments? Now might be a good time to start ordering surplus body bags. Methinks suicides of the sort are about to become a whole lot more commonplace over the next couple of years. 

Watch out 'Florida Man' - 'Ohio Man' might just have you beat

Over the years, the 'Florida Man' stereotype has taken the Internet by storm. Thanks in no small part to the Sunshine State's lax legislation regarding what cops can tell the general public about arrests and crimes, a seemingly disproportionate number of bizarre stories seep out of FLA and into the national consciousness. Indeed, there's even a subreddit dedicated to all of the wacky headlines that begin with the term "Florida man" before spilling over into all sorts of weirdo and disturbing activity. Try as the Sunshine State may, however, the Buckeye State has been giving it a run for its money lately in terms of high-quality WTF news stories. I mean, just take a gander at these high-larious (and highly disturbing) incidents emanating out of WACKO-H-I-O as of late:

Aye, there's a good reason why Ohio is called "the Buckeye State" - mainly, because the whole place is filled with a bunch of fucking nuts.

...and a few headlines that speak for themselves...

New Hillary ad links Donald Trump to KKK ... same ad makes no mention of Clinton calling Klan member "a friend and mentor" in 2010

GMA anchor accused of racism for saying "colored people" instead of "people of color"

Cincinnati records 78 heroin overdoses in just two days

Asian reporter says not being white saved his life during Milwaukee riots

There are so many murders in Chicago now that its homicide detectives literally can't keep up with them

Hillary Clinton's top campaign aide revealed to have edited journal that suggested single mom households not be considered "real families" ... which also included anti-feminist screeds penned by her own mother

Connecticut State Attorney says gangs are beating murder charges by intimidating jurors

Maine Governor calls Democratic colleague "a cocksucker" and demands he proves he's "a racist"

New research claims no biological basis for sexual orientation exists, refutes "social stress" model as basis for LGBT mental health issues

Nude photos of Ghostbusters star Leslie Jones emerge in federally-investigated hack 

For some inexplicable reason, University of Missouri freshmen enrollment declines by 23 percent

Adult-targeted coloring book seeks to promote "fat activism"

Southern Poverty Law Center determines "White Lives Matter" is a hate group ... without outlining its criteria, precisely, for what constitutes their definition of a hate group 

Teacher in Alaska gets 48 hours of community service for sexual abusing mentally disabled student


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