Thursday, March 2, 2017

The Nintendo Switch Sucks And I Hope It Bankrupts The Company

Why the Big N's latest hardware is destined to be a colossal failure ... and why this time, the company may never recover from the financial disaster.

By: Jimbo X

Considering my far from secretive love of all things Sega, it would be rather easy to write off all my musings as the rantings and ravings of a biased fanboy whenever I criticize (well, more like condemn) Nintendo. 

But the fact of the matter? When it comes to just how badly the Big N is fucking up nowadays, you can't say I didn't warn you (raise your hand if you predicted the abysmal hardware failure of the Wii U back in 2012!)

The thing is, Nintendo fans are the Bernie Sanders supporters of the video game world (I used to use the Ron Paul analogy, but despite the divergent political comparison points, the simile still works.) For starters, since all they ever do is circle jerk each other, they never, ever leave their little fanboy enclave, so they totally overstate just how many like-minded dildos and dweebs there are in the world like them. Secondly, they're still acting like Mario and Zelda are totally untouchable platinum pillars of interactive entertainment, when in reality those series have been stuck in tailspin mode for at least a decade. They're literally the only people out there that still vaunt and value archaic franchises like Metroid and Mario Kart and have actually convinced themselves that everybody outside the Nintendo cum bubble is secretly envious and revere their legacy games when in reality, don't nobody anywhere give a shit about Animal Crossing or Star Fox no more.  The only people who think Nintendo is still relevant in this, the post iPhone and iPad era, are the clueless, delusional Nintendo nuthuggers who have tricked their brains into accepting underwhelming crap like Splatoon and Super Mario Maker as alleged "AAA titles." For fuck's sake, Nintendo didn't even reap the bulk of the profits from the one successful thing they've done since the Wii came out ... clearly, this is a digital empire in decline if there ever was one. (And for those of you who want to give me a lecture about the "success" of the 3DS, just remember - the original PSP still has it beat by a good 15 million sales.)

So, Nintendo - as a company, a brand name, and a developer of video games - is pretty much the multimedia equivalent of everybody's favorite senile, 70-something communist from New Hampshire. Nothing either of them propose would work, they don't know a goddamn thing about how mainstream Americans think and both are depressingly stuck in the past, hopelessly clinging onto their gilded age accomplishments like the triumphs of 1994 mean anything to anybody except their most rabid of autistic cult members. 

Or, to put it another way - Nintendo, much like the prospects of a Bernie Sanders presidency, is doomed. 

Yeah, everybody keeps telling me the same old tired shit about Nintendo having so much money in cash reserves so they'll never go out of business (although that allegedly astronomical amount - $4.6 billion as of early last year - doesn't sound nearly as safe and secure when you realize all it took was one economic downturn to make a $640 billion dollar company like Lehman Brothers vanish overnightbut let's cut the bullshit, why don't we? The Big N expected to sell 100 million Wii-U units, but they could barely move 13 million. Just six months into 2016, they were reportig operating losses of nearly $400 million. And the same year, Nintendo saw its stocks plunge to their lowest levels since 1990.

This is a company in deep, deep dookie. And after their most embarrassing commercial fuck-up since the Virtual Boy, how did they respond? By literally sinking all their money into the VERY SAME disaster of a consumer product that put them in the hole to begin with

Mark my words, kids: the Nintendo Switch is going to be an even bigger commercial dud than the Wii U. The entire gimmick is fucking stupid, the third party support - again - isn't going to be there (why play watered down versions of Call of Duty and Madden when you can play the REAL versions of those games on a REAL console in your living room?) and the first party games are all going to be major, major disappointments. Nowhere is the substandard prospects of this ill, ill-conceived boondoggle of a video game machine apparent than its launch line-up: you know, the one with a grand total of six retail games

Hoo-boy, what do we have here? Another Zelda game sure to disappoint (although all of the hardcore Nin-tards will convince themselves it's better than Ocarina of Time, only to come out 10 years later and refer to it as a piece of over-hyped shit like Twilight Princess), a fucking Bomberman game that has the exact same gameplay as you'd find on a TurboGrafx-16 game released 25 years ago, a glorified re-do of a homebrew game (whose overrated inspiration sucked out loud), a fucking Skylanders game, some stupid dancing title and a glorified tech demo. But hey, what about all of these back-up launch titles, like a barely spruced up re-release of Mario Kart, a Puyo Puyo variation on Tetris, a crappy first person cartoon boxing game that won't work and all those lite-RPGs you could probably run on a PS Vita with no problem? Holy shit, we'll be playing those games for decades to come, no doubt

And don't give me none of that crap about how this time - for real, ya'll - Electronic Arts and Bioware and Square-Enix and Atlus are going to finally come through and deliver AAA titles for the platform. Nintendo has fucked over every company that's made anything halfway worth a damn on their systems since the Gamecube, and they sure as shit aren't going to start bringing da' muthafuckin' ruckus for a piece of hardware whose big selling point is you take the sides off of it and use it as a really clunky tablet.

Seriously, am I the only person who sees the glorious structural design problem there? This thing is engineered so clumsily, it's pretty much a lock to be the Edsel of video game systems. People, by nature, are fumbling sorts. Just how many people out there do you think are going to break apart their machine to play it on the go, only to misplace their essential controller pieces and make the whole goddamn kit and caboodle totally worthless? Forget people swinging their Wii-motes into their TV sets ... that little design oversight is going to make Nintendo a laughingstock for years and years.

The stunning visuals in Super Mario meets Katamari Damacy truly are some of the best to ever appear on the Gamecube!

The Switch is one of those things like "New Coke," that in hindsight, can't be seen as anything other than a gargantuan mistake - the kind where you can't help but wonder how in the world the people responsible for the blunder couldn't have realized what they were doing was an all-time commercial fuck-up from the outset. It's hard to believe a company with so many veteran, video game businessmen agreed to double down on Nintendo's greatest marketing snafu in 20 years (or why Nintendo loyalists think the thing would've been a success at all), but therein lies some pivotal business wisdom we can all benefit from. 

Since we're talking about a video game company fucking up, I suppose it's only fitting that I use another video game analogy to dissect the great big error Nintendo has committed in the wake of the DS. You kids ever play Treasure's Advance Guardian Heroes on the GBA? Well, you should, not only because it is a kick-ass beat-em-up, but because it has this thing called "devil mode" in it. Now, what in the world is "devil mode," you may be wondering? Well, it's this feature in the game where - rather than start the game all over again - you can literally sell your soul to Satan and become invincible for about five minutes. Naturally, this sounds like a pretty awesome deal - you come across a really hard-ass boss you can't beat, he keeps killing your ass so you more or less turn on the no-kill Game Genie cheat and fuck him up something wicked. The catch - and you knew there was a catch somewhere - is that once your five minutes of "devil mode" invincibility are up, your character just keels over, Lucifer claims your soul for all eternity and it's game over.

Well, in regards to Nintendo, the Wii was their corporate "devil mode," so to speak. By catering - if not flat out pandering - to the casual non-gaming sphere, they certainly opened the floodgate for cheaper, shoddier games to proliferate en masse. Now, had the softcore, women and children-oriented offerings on the Wii and DS not been as successful, perhaps the first wave of iPhone games - shit like Fruit Ninja and Words With Friends and especially Angry Birds - wouldn't have been as popular or lucrative. By focusing on mass appeal shitware games, Nintendo inadvertently drove the dagger through their own hearts, since it was only a matter of time before some other hardware merchant was to come around and do casual gaming even better. 

The funny thing is, what killed Nintendo's post-Wii success wasn't the expected rivals Sony or Microsoft, but Apple and Google. The rise of iPhone and iPad gaming naturally meant a boon for developers of low-power, minimal gameplay products, and since the adoption rate of smart phones and tablets is way higher than any proprietary gaming system, of course all of the shovelware casual game merchants would abandon the Wii/3DS platform for the far more lucrative iOS and Droid markets. The casual gaming market Nintendo abandoned the hardcore for with the Wii, Wii-U and 3DS - women and kids and old fucks - have since moved on to the new portables of gaming, which, in addition to delivering them precisely the kind of low-intensity, low-challenge games they enjoy, also offer them a litany of other social and business applications that "dedicated" video game platforms just can't supply. And oh yeah - it fits in their pants pocket and they can take it with them literally everywhere they go.

Even Ray Charles can see why the Switch is such a horribly stupid idea, and he's dead. You see, Nintendo thinks people play iPhone and iPad games because they are mobile and usually incorporate some sort of delayed WiFi multiplayer element - hence, this horrible, horrible console unveiling video that shows millennials breaking out the controllers for NBA 2K pick-up games at basketball courts and carrying their machines over to rooftop keggers to play Mario Kart. No, you pedophile-supporting, literal hooker hiring 'tards, people enjoy smart phone games because they're on the machines they spend eight-to-nine-hours a day looking at already. They don't absorb themselves into the games for hours on end like dedicated Madden or Elder Scrolls or Forza players, they just need quick and easy hits of instant virtual gratification to ward of the daily rigors of modern ennui. You can play a game for ten minutes, hop off, check Facebook, and go back to cooking dinner or taking a shit or watching Grey's Anatomy or whatever else you do with your life. Whereas commercial console gaming is all about software commitment, the new-wave mobile games succeed by extolling themselves as nothing more than glorified, low-quality time killers. So, in short, the sort of deep, nuanced, intricate gameplay Nintendo used to be known for back in the NES and SNES days is quite literally incompatible with the iPad-era definition of portable gaming.

Yeah, you won't be seeing this happening in public. Ever.

And on the issue of multiplayer gaming, I've never in my life seen a bunch of smart phone wielding neer-do-wells gathered in a physical space to enjoy any kind of competitive  smart phone/tablet game. Pokemon GO is an outlier, but again, that's already proven itself to be a short-term (dare I say it, devil-mode-esque?) fad that Nintendo barely profited from. The likelihood of Nintendo replicating that success with the Switch is practically zero, since the whole Pokemon GO craze hinged on the fact that the hardware adoption rate to play the game was already high ... if not culturally ubiquitous. Unless Nintendo plans on going cross-platform - which means partnering with Apple and Google, something they almost assuredly would never do under their current leadership structure - there is no way in hell the company can do anything even remotely comparable to Pokemon GO

That, and no one has really explained how the Switch improves upon the atrocious Wii-U dedicated console/portable hybrid concept. Indeed, if anything, the Switch represents an even worse variation on the concept, which has no successful analogue in any kind of electronics industry anywhere. Factor in the exorbitant $300 day one price tag ... plus the dearth of quality, exclusive games throughout the hardware's first year on the market ... and you have all the makings of an all-time legendary product failure staring directly at you.

There might be some good games released on the Switch. That one Mario game that has him running around in Grand Theft Auto and appropriating Hispanic Day of the Dead culture at least looks fairly fun, and I've been yearning for Syberia III for almost as long as I've been yearning for Shenmue III (except, you know, with not as much enthusiasm.) And first person Super Street Fighter II is the kind of idea so incredibly stupid, you can't help but appreciate the absurdity of its existence. But the rest of the setlist, to put it mildly, flat out swallows. Minecraft variations and re-releases of years-old Disgaea games and generation-behind ports of Skyrim and Dragon Quest and shitty lite-strategy games like Has-Been Heroes and watered down minimal upgrades of Fire Emblem and BlazBlue? For every halfway decent-looking game like Xenoblade Chronicles 2 you're going to get three dozen turds like Cube Life and Farming Simulator and Stardew Valley. The ratio of great to shit games is likely to be even higher than the ratio of the Wii, and somehow, the third-party support - where are you, E.A. and Rockstar? - is even more scant than on the Wii-U

Whether or not the Switch will be a marketing failure isn't even a question anymore. The real question is just how big of a product dud this stupid fucking thing is going to be, and if I were a betting man, I'd venture to guess this thing won't even crack 10 million lifetime unit sales. Hell, it may not even eclipse the lifetime sales of the Dreamcast, which may indeed be the most fitting fate imaginable for the Big N. 

At least Sega went down with a dedication to hardcore, innovative and quality games, while Nintendo's hardware waterloo will forever be associated with a crappily-designed, under-powered retread of a console glutted with god-awful ports, shovelware and disappointing first party releases. 

Sega failed, but at least they failed with their heads hung high. With the disaster-in-waiting known as the Switch, however, Nintendo is destined to for a commercial manufacturing demise not unlike the one experienced by their former arch-rival ... only they're planning on going out with their eyeballs swollen shut and their tongues splayed out over the floor.

From the undisputed kings of video gaming to a cash-hemorrhaging, woefully out of touch market-blinded laughingstock. One day, the history books will reflect on the launch of the Switch as the beginning of the terminal cancer that eventually upended the Nintendo empire.

Alas, I wouldn't shed too many tears, Nintards. After all, theirs is a gruesome demise they wholeheartedly brought upon themselves.


  1. Incredible write-up. I read every word, and not once was I bored. I enjoyed the ribbing of libtards... And yes Nintendo fan boys really are the ostriches with their head in the sand types. Agreed. Unlike you, I was a lifelong Nintendo fan and Zelda is my favorite franchise ever... But then I discovered Skyrim and I realized that was what I was waiting for... A more
    Graphically intense, more immersive and less cutsie game of the genre. My heart is still with Zelda, and I admit I love me some Metroid and Mario(although that has been disappearing quite a bit)... But Nintendo as a company is run by shit for brains.
    As soon as I found out the NX was called the "switch" I rolled my eyes back through my skull. Then I saw it was a handheld tablet with removable controllers. I gritted my teeth and said "damn it." Then I realized it wasn't a home console with portability(which holds zero interest for me btw. Zero) but actually a portable device being peddled as a home console... And I gave up. I refuse to buy it unless it's used off of craigslist.

    The one thing I disagree with you on is that it will end Nintendo. I think it will fail, and they will try to make a beast of a console but it will be too little too late. Much like Twilight Princess and BOTW. I mean people do realize that TP was a GameCube game peddled as a Wii game and BOTW is a WiiU game peddled as a switch game, right? Not that the Switch is even a superior console to the POS WiiU, it's not.

    RIP Nintendo. You ripped my heart out for the last time. Done.

  2. And don't even get me STARTED on the NES Classic Edition debacle!!! You can pay $200 for WHAT!!!???!!!

  3. I agree with almost all of it but I just want to add one thing that you may not have considered regarding the success or failure of this POS. Pokemon. Idiots will buy the system because all the new Pokemon games are coming out for it.

  4. 100% accurate article. Ninty have been broke since the 64. Only Nintardo's refuse to see it. But the Switch will be remembered as the console that took down Ninty for good. It's already had it's sales boom.

  5. I hate to say my favorite game company is done. I was a wii u owner who waited and waited and waited and waited and was never satisfied. Only to have half assed games or complete disasters come out. What nintnedo and miyamoto did to the paper mario series will forever leave a hole in my heart. It was like a HUGE slap to the face. Zelda BoTW didn't come out on wii u until the very freaking end. Literally. Star fox, again another miyamoto screw up, forces the players to use controls they may not find comfortable. What does nintnedo say? Too bad get used to it. They're utterly pathetic. I just don't get how this is going to work out. After the first year I doubt sales will even reach 5 million. Hell I guess Theyd be lucky to get 3 million sold. I wanted a freaking home console. Not whatever the hell this is. I'll be honest if they would've just done the normal somewhat powerful console at least. I would've bought it. But no they had to do this and again force us to buy things we didn't want. Stupid HD wii remotes rebranded as joy cons? Are you f-ing kiding me? So sad. So so very sad. Don't even get me started on the amount of screwed up systems and scratched screens that have occurred right after launch. Go on YouTube and type in " nintnedo switch issues and or problems". You'll see what I mean. Fanboys just like commie bernie supporters will never admit the truth. The truth that you can wrap a turd up in a pretty red bow but at the end of the day it is still a turd. Good day.

  6. Monster hunter would have helped though very grindy repetitive game play it's Nintendo's only ace in the hole but they didn't play it off the get go for the switch so it's doomed.Nintendo has the 3ds once its burned out its players Nintendo is done and monster hunter will move back to Sony where it belonged.

  7. I read this article every morning when I wake up, and every night before bed. I wish my close minded Nintendo friends would let go of the mighty Nintendo shaft and see things like this as well.

  8. Man i have the switch and you are genius. Nothing you said outside of sales is wrong. The switch sucks. I only bought it because i was TDY with nothing to play until i got back home

  9. " They're literally the only people out there that still vaunt and value archaic franchises like Metroid"

    I 100% with everything else in this article but this part!! I am a freakin millennial who grew up with PS2 and Metroid is A f**** TIMELESS CLASSIC!! I soo yearn for a 3rd person Metroid game preferably on PC cus I ain't​ buying Nintendo kiddy/casual gimmick trash to play one GREAT game!!

    Speaking of arcahic games SANIC comes to mind!! Why does this furry abomination of a platforming game even exist!? It has been garbage since day1!! What about my streets of RAAAGE!? Make it 3d and make it like GODHAND you'd have the greatest beat'emup ever... But nooo SANIC is everything for Sega.

  10. Why did this piece of shit sell so well?People are so stupid !They bought the console for only 2 really good games. And that's it.Somehow this has sold very well. It pains me. Nintendo makes fun games but for systems who are utter rubish. If this console failed i would be very happy. Because they would start making games for actualy good systems. I can, without a shadow of a doubt ,say that this is the generation's worst system. I feel sorry for anyone who bought it even if they are fanboys.

  11. They're innovative and it's going to have a promising third party support. The competitors however are lazy coming up with the same box with different patterns.

    1. Lol c'mon dude you're a Tamilian, you're supposed to be smart and buy a Gamimg PC or Ps4 instead of defending the Mac of gaming industry.

  12. While I do agree with this article, I don't think you're funny, just annoying.

  13. I get your point. I think you kind of laid it on a little thick though. I am a Nintendo fanboy and at this point I simply love the IDEA of Nintendo but hate it's current platform. They are re-releasing games from the wiiU onto the switch but instead of me Paying the $39.99 wiiU price, they want to charge $59.99 because "it's a new platform. They've become severely greedy and the repeat games have gotten out of control

  14. Nintendo haters before the launch of the Switch : "It sucks. It'll never sell."
    Nintendo haters after the launch of the Switch : "iTS oNLy SucCESsFul , bEcAUsE sTuPiD peOpLE bUy iT".
    Grow up.It's successful because it's a good console. It's more powerful than a Wii U in handheld mode, which itself was more powerful than the PS3. There is no other handheld more powerful than this. The Wii U failed because it was meant to compete with PS3 and XB360

    1. Oh bitch please it will never sell as much as ps4&Xbox in the upcoming years... WiiU also was selling decently for a couple months too and then after a year or so it was collecting DUST!

      You Nintendo fans are horrible cancer... You ppl support a horrible company that is anti-consumer, anti-3rd party developer and anti technology.

      "There is no other handheld more powerful than this"
      My Samsung Galaxy Tab would like to have a word with you...

    2. First of all, the Switch is estimated to sell a bunch, especially in the holidays. Doesn't make it a fact but it is very possible.

      Second, Nintendo is trying to lean towards what the fans want; they're getting third party support all around (even Rockstar is making a game for the Switch and don't forget DOOM).

      Third, why on Earth would you compare a Galaxy Tab to a Switch? Are you mad? The Switch is more powerful than the recent Galaxy Tab. Just because the hardware looks similar doesn't automatically make the Galaxy Tab more or equally as powerful. I suggest doing some research before making a statement like that.

    3. He said most powerful handheld, well I know many mobiles that surpasses Switch in hardware already.

    4. "mobiles that surpass the switch"

      Maybe because they're 400 dollars or more you absolute fucking dip. Take a look at fortnight on the s7 and fortnight on the switch. The s7 runs at a dynamic 480p while the switch runs at dynamic 720-900p

  15. Sorry,lost my blogger account. Tell me again,how expensive is your tablet again? I call bullshit on it being more powerful.It is way weaker.It is not optimized for games,and the only ones that you have are those shitty android p2w games.Secondly,the switch does it for very cheap too. Let's only give it the parts that come with any recent Galaxy Tab. A charger, and the device .That's about it. What does that give you? Cut out the controllers(-80$),cut out the dock(-90$)cut out the hdmi cable, straps, and grip (-50$). That leaves you with a machine that is really powerful for <150$. Plus, Samsung is more anti-consumer. Just look at their overpriced, under-specced phones,and tablets.Anti-3rd party , my ass. We have doom ,and Wolfenstein, all modern games. GTA 5 is in the talks. It's really powerful for it's price. Anti-technology, my ass. When Sony requires you to be expensive peripherals for motion-controls, and VR, all the things required for VR comes in the Joy-Cons.Anti-consumer, my ass. Tell me again,which company charged 60$ for multiplayer? Not Nintendo. Look at Xbone with its "Always On" crap. Is that not anti'consumer enough for your. You Nintendo haters have an IQ lower than the specs of a frickin' flat earther.

    1. Jesus Christ Calm down! Too much deepthroating Nintendicks can result in suffocation.

  16. How about you actually accept this shit? Bet you also suck Sony's di** as well.

    1. Sony&MS make good consoles and they always had a good 3rd party support, i can respect that. Nintendo is an Anti-consumer,Anti-3rd party behind the times senile Japanese suits who make POS overpriced hardware and make the same kiddy games over&over.

      The only cultish faggots who support&defend Nintendo are 80's Nostalgiatards.

    2. You are the most retarded person in the world.Who judges a game based on the demographic it's aimed at? Retards,that's who. Sony's PS4 is a joke.When it launched, you were able to build a PC for cheaper. About anti-consumerism,hope you like being screwed over by 2 mid-gen console rehashes by Sony and Microsoft ( Xbox One S, Xbox One X, PS4 pro) which will be replaced by a PS5, or xbox 2, anyway. About the 3rd party support,I've already stated that doom,la noire, rocket league, skyrim , and Wolf II are already making it to the Switch. Anti-3rd party? Wut? Nintendo is encouraging more and more devs to develop for the switch. Even rockstar jumped on board. Overpriced, my ass? Forgotten the price of 80gb ps3,yet? And your shitty Poopisoft, ACTIVISON,and Electronic Atrocity all rehash the dame games, add in lots of DLC. You need to pay 80$ to get the full story of assasin's creed orgins, a cow of a franchise that has been milked over and over again, just like Fifa,Call of Duty, Gta,etc. Oh, and guess what company forces you to pay 120$ for a shitty controller with an even shittier d-pad? Not Nintendo. Guess what company rehashed a console, marketed it as a 4k machine, while it only did that on a low-fi games, and instead, played at 1440p on AAA games? Not Nintendo. Guess what all companies rehashed their consoles again and again, falsely marketing it as a 4k machine, only to replace it with an actual new console about 2 years later? Not Nintendo. Oh, and guess what? Testosterone is a hormone that accounts for your manliness. Cortisol is a hormone produced when one is under stress, and when someone is multi-tasking. It reduces the amount of testosterone in your body, and also leads to memory loss. Guess what games put you under stress, and/or foce you to multi-task? That's right, FPS's and Fighting games, which many people consider to be examples of 'manly games'. Your 'manly' games make you less manly. Let that sink in. Also, I'll use your logic here. Megaman/Rockman is shit. It is kiddy. It is the same thing over and over again. Begone, peasant.

    3. Lol look at that autistic screeching from the Nintendo fag. Post SNES Nintendo consoles are shit = Fact

    4. Too scared to admit anything,you little pussy? Want me to call your mommy for you?

    5. Oh please, the only ones in denial are NintenDrones! Look at the market share of switch and it speaks for itself.. is it going to catch up with PS4 or Xbox? NEVER!

    6. Market shares reveal jackshit. Xbox had virtually no market share, yet it was an awesome console. Besides, the Switch was released just a few months ago, you dumbass. How can it have a lot of people using it,thus increasing its market share by now? Besides, selling 8 million units in 8 months isn't bad. The 3ds has sluggish sales, but look at it now. 66 million units sold, which is more than the Xbox one which sold around 20 million units

    7. You are half correct, market shares can be deceiving. Take for ex: wii, its sales were insane but in reality it was just being bought by causals and ended up being a POS non-HD console in the HD era with loads of shoveleware.

      But market share DOES show how many people actually bought the damn console so devs would make more games for them! Xbox was "technically" the best console of it's era but no one bought it and it doesn't even have 1/3rd of games PS2 had, it was so pathetic no one has ever bothered to emulate it to this day.

      "the Switch was released just a few months ago, you dumbass."
      Read again, i said that POS Tablet is NEVER going to "catch up", you damn MORON!

      "The 3ds has sluggish sales, but look at it now."
      I like 3ds but it's the lowest selling Nintendo handheld after Virtual boy.

    8. The Switch will catch up. 8illion within an year. 3ds may have been the second lowest selling Nintendo handheld, but 65 million is still a lot

  17. 10 million sold. Not even a year gone by, and supply issues for the first several months. We haven't even seen Christmas sales yet and already ten million. Starting to look like the Wii vs PS3 situation all over again. First "it won't sell, Nintendo is DOOMED!" Later "it sold to casual and idiots!"

    Let me explain something pretty simple. The Sony gamers, twiddling their thumbs in the dark and mumbling at randos? They're the "casuals." The real hardcore gamers have been here since the beginning and will stay forever. When I was a child, I played Atari with my grandfather and father. SNES days? My father, mother, and younger cousins. Wii days? My wife and her little siblings. Now? Switch with my wife, her father, and my own son.

    Video gaming was never meant to be a sad, solitary activity. What's the matter, afraid your mom will beat you? Video Gaming is and always has been a social activity. Had Nintendo not stupidly made the Wii U look like it was just a tablet addon to the Wii that would have won it's generation as well, and you know it.

    1. There's no hardcore gamer, there's only gamers.. here's the cold hard facts. ever since the N64 Nintendo has sucked rock hard BBC when it comes to 3rd party games.

      "Wii days?"
      What about the "Gamecube days"? you know? that was the time when i used to play a shit ton of PS2 games with my pals and my older brother. PS2 generation is easily the best no contest.

      "Video gaming was never meant to be a sad, solitary activity"
      Who says it was? 2 player games are the best.. oh wait! Nintendo mostly makes 1P games not multiplayer ones like Sony&MS.

  18. Except Sony and Microsoft make no 2p games. Nintendo has a lot of 2p games. Mario Odyssey, Arms, Smash Bros, Pokemon,Star Fox, Fzero,to name a few. And about sucking dick,tell me,which publisher published 2 games that were a nominees for the game awards,one of which won? NOT Sony,not Microsoft,it was Nintendo. The Switch has sold 14 million units in 11 months. What's your excuse, SonyFag?

    1. "Except Sony and Microsoft make no 2p games"
      They're not primarily game developers but there more 2p co-op/multiplayer fighting/racing/shooting games on Xbone&PS4 than on Switch.. Is DBZ figherZ on Swtich? Is Tekken 7 on Switch? Is Grand Turismo on switch? is Forza on switch? let's be real here... Nintendo will always suck at 3rd party games.

      "which publisher published 2 games that were a nominees for the game awards,one of which won"
      Who gives a shit about awards? I don't! Nintendo is for teh kiddies, go play with your 80$ LABO Cardboard toy Nintendo made for you! LMAO i'm gonna play games targeted towards adults&teens.

      "The Switch has sold 14 million units in 11 months"
      As if that changes the fact that its still exponentially less than PS4&Xbone lmao

    2. "Asif that changes the fact that its still exponentially less than PS4&Xbone lmao" Its been just year now. Less than 3 months later,the Switch has already hit 18 million units,and is fast approaching the xbox one,kicking ass with fresh releases like wolfenstein 2, and Dark Souls. Once metroid,and smash launch this year,nothing will stop it. Dragon ball xeno 2 is already out for the switch,along with AOT 2,and Naruto

    3. "Who gives a shit about awards? I don't! Nintendo is for teh kiddies, go play with your 80$ LABO Cardboard toy Nintendo made for you! LMAO i'm gonna play games targeted towards adults&teens"

      And tahts how you lose all your credibility,manchild. I mean, I didnt see anybody protesting the google cardboard either,and that was made of cheaper cardboard. And let me guess,what "adult" games will you play?? Some weeb game like gal gun 2 or senran kagura??

    4. "Who gives a shit about awards?"

      People who dont look at game's age rating,and actually giving it a try,rather than fapping to the 653th edition of some weeb dating simulator ,crying in dark,while stuffing their face full of doritos

    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    6. I don't look at the age rating unless i'm buying some kiddie Nintendo games for my little Nephew. And then i go back to playing games actually meant for a Mature audience.

      Nintendo = Kiddie stuff, ACCEPT IT!

    7. Imagine being so insecure you look at the age rating just to make sure your pwecious manwiness doesn't go away. Going by that logic, you don't buy racing games or sport games either considering their age rating. And I've seen more mature Nintendo games than the amount of actual comprehensible arguements you made.

    8. I look at age ratings for my nephew you dumb fuck. I don't need to see age ratings for anything.

      "you don't buy racing games or sport games either considering their age rating"

      There's a difference between games that everyone can enjoy and games that are geared towards Children. I'm not interested in playing on a Nintendo Labo Cardboard because i'm not fucking 10 or a nintendo fanboy.

      "And I've seen more mature Nintendo"

      YEAH sure! SEGA made itself a popular&successful console by shitting on nintendo for how much of a kid pandering shit company Nintendo was. And it STILL is, Fuck Nintendo! Except for Metroid, there's not a single Nintendo exclusive that appeals to a mature audience.

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