Sunday, October 15, 2017

LIVE(ish) Play-By-Play from Week 6's Raiders vs. Chargers Game!

This Week's Episode:
".500 Ain't A Bad Place To Be (I Said)"

By: Jimbo X

It's that time of year again, folks! As is the tradition here at The Internet Is In America, we're going to do our damnedest to give you LIVE play-by-play coverage of every single Oakland Raiders game of the season, including today's home stand against the Chargers. Join us LIVE on Sunday, Oct. 15 for our patented possession-by-possession coverage of week 6's Raiders vs. Chargers game, with the festivities beginning at 4 p.m. eastern time. There'll be updates every commercial break, so be sure to bookmark this shit prior to kickoff. And, as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#SilverAndBlackLivesMatter)

11:54 AM - The big news is that Derek Carr will be BACK as the Raiders QB for this game. And also, a raging wildfire may choke everybody in the stadium to death, but still - Derek Carr is back, ya'll.

11:56 AM - Here's the Sunday morning injury report from ESPN: for the Raiders, linebacker Marquel Lee and fullback Jamize Olawale are both scratches. Running back DeAndre Washington and cornerback David Amerson are both listed as questionable. And cornerback Antonio Hamilton - who I've never heard of before, and I recap these games every fuckin' week - is officially on the IR. 

11:58 AM - And on the flip side of the ball, linebacker Jatavis Brown, running back Brandon Oliver and wide receiver Mike Williams are all listed as questionable. 

11:59 AM - The official Vegas line puts the Raiders as a -3 favorite, with the over/under set at 48.5. According to ESPN'S Football Power Index, the Raiders have a 62.2 percent chance of winning this afternoon's game.

12:01 PM - Time for the pregame stats. On average, the Raiders are posting 21.6 points per game and allowing 21.8. The Chargers are posting 19.8 points per game and allowing 23. 

12:02 PM - The Raiders are averaging 294.2 yards of offense a game - 203.6 passing and about 90 rushing. Their defense, conversely, is allowing 362.2 yards a game (237.6 passing and 124.6 rushing.)

12:03 PM - The Chargers are averaging 351.8 yards of offense a game - 273 passing and about 79 rushing. Their defense is giving up 375.4 yards per game (214 passing, 161.2 rushing.)

12:04 PM - The Chargers head into this game with a 1-4 record. The Raiders are 2-3 and currently riding a three-game losing streak. I'll be back around 4 p.m. for the kickoff - or then again, it is grocery day, so I might be a wee bit late for that. Don't say I didn't warn you.

4:28 PM - Chargers get the ball first.

4:29 PM - Third and eight. The pass is deflected by Denico Autry at the line of scrimmage. The Chargers gotta' punt.

4:30 PM - It flies out of the end zone. Flags are down.

4:30 PM - The Raiders get flagged ten yards for holding.

4:33 PM - Marshawn runs for about 15 yards on first down.

4:33 PM - Marshall Newhouse is being helped off the field. He's the Raiders' starting right tackle.

4:34 PM - Vadal Alexander steps in. And Carr's pass is an interception.

4:34 PM - Two flags are down. Trevor Williams returns it down to the OAK 10. The Chargers get penalized for an illegal block in the backfield.

4:35 PM - L.A. backed up to the OAK 30. Gordon hit behind the line.

4:36 PM - Second and 11. Brees with a hilariously bad incompletion on a would-be shuttle pass.

4:37 PM - Third and 11. And the pass to Henry is no good. The Chargers wheel out the field goal unit.

4:37 PM - LOL, and the kick is no good.

4:41 PM - Third and 1. Lynch gets more than enough to move the sticks.

4:42 PM - Roberts reels it in for eight.

4:43 PM - Second and two. Richard stutter steps for a new set of downs.

4:44 PM - Cooper hauls it in for seven.

4:44 PM - Richard hit behind the line for a loss.

4:45 PM - Third and six. Crabtree with enough to convert.

4:45 PM - A Charger is hurt. Time for some commercials.

4:47 PM - The injured L.A. player is Adrian Phillips. Marshawn wrestles for about four.

4:48 PM - Second and seven. Lynch with maybe a yard on the run.

4:48 PM - Third and six. The Raiders call a timeout.

4:49 PM - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! A zipping pass to Michael Crabtree for 23 yards!

4:50 PM - The PAT is good. Raiders lead it, 7-0.

4:55 PM - Henry takes it to the LA 42 on an 18-yard run.

4:55 PM - Gordon with maybe two on the run.

4:56 PM - Second and eight. Gordon appears to have the first down, but flags are down.

4:57 PM - It's against the Raiders. 

4:57 PM - Second and nine. Gordon with six.

4:58 PM - Third and three. And Keenan Allen gets hit right at the line.

4:59 PM - Fourth and two. The Chargers are going for it.

4:59 PM - The pass is incomplete, so the Raiders will take over around their own 35.

5:00 PM - Crabtree drops the first down pass.

5:01 PM - Second and 10. Lynch runs for four.

5:01 PM - Third and six. Flags are down. Looks like a Charger jumped offsides.

5:02 PM - It's a false start call against Donald Penn. And that's the end of the first quarter.

5:05 PM - It's third and 11. Carr throws it away under a blitz. Raiders gotta' punt.

5:05 PM - Holton downs it at the LAC 7.

5:07 PM - Gordon with three on the run.

5:07 PM - Second and seven. Gordon with more than enough to move the sticks.

5:08 PM - Gordon runs for four.

5:08 PM - Second and six. Gordon hit right at the line.

5:09 PM - Third and five. And Keenan Allen goes down short of the first down marker. Chargers gotta' punt again.

Ah, the Black Hole. Where if you aren't texting or drinking  beer, it's because you're too busy imitating a gorilla.

5:10 PM - Raiders will take over around their own 25.

5:13 PM - Lynch with a 12 yard run on first down.

5:13 PM - Washington hit for a huge six yard loss.

5:14 PM - Second and 16. Cooper gets five.

5:15 PM - Third and 11. Joey Bossa forces a fumble on the sack, but at least the Raiders recover. Here comes King to punt.

5:15 PM - Flags are down. Never mind, they don't call the blindside block after all. Chargers will take over just shy of their own 30.

5:19 PM - Gordon with four on the run.

5:20 PM - Second and seven. Rivers throws it away on a blitz.

5:20 PM - Third and seven. Kennan Allen takes it to the SD 49 on an almost 30-yard strike.

5:21 PM - The deep pass is broken up. 

5:22 PM - Second and 10. Williams gets two yards on a short pass.

5:23 PM - Third and eight. And Ekeler makes enough to just barely move the sticks.

5:24 PM - Second and seven. Gates hauls it in for 17 yards.

5:25 PM - Gordon hit for a one yard loss.

5:26 PM - Third and nine. Allen hauls it in within the OAK 10. 

5:27 PM - Gordon picks up four. And here's the two-minute warning.

5:30 PM - Second and goal. The pass to Gordon is incomplete in the end zone.

5:31 PM - Third and goal. And Amerson stops Henry RIGHT at the goal line. That motherfucker couldn't have been any closer.

5:32 PM - Fourth and goal. And Gordon runs it in for six. The PAT is good. And we've got ourselves a 7-7 tie with 1:44 left in the first half.

5:36 PM - Washington goes down at the OAK 24. 

5:36 PM - Flags are down, so the Chargers re-kick the ball.

5:37 PM - Patterson takes the return up to the OAK 40. 

5:38 PM - Cooper gets five on a pass.

5:39 PM - Richard takes it past midfield. An eight yard gain.

5:39 PM - Amari Cooper with a jump ball down to the OAK 17.

5:39 PM - Holding on Oakland negates the 25-yard pick up. Good job, Gabe Jackson, you fuckin' schmuck.

5:40 PM - First and 20. The pass to Cook is incomplete, but flags are down.

5:41 PM - Pass interference against the Chargers gives the Raiders a new set of downs with about 30 seconds left in the half.

5:41 PM - Richard runs for 11.

5:41 PM - Richard takes it to the OAK 26.

5:42 PM - Second and 2 with 15 seconds left. The deep pass to Crabtree is incomplete.

5:43 PM - Third and 2 with nine seconds left. Incomplete to Cooper. But a flag is down.

5:43 PM - The refs pick the hanky back up.

5:44 PM - Giorgio out to kick. The Chargers call a timeout.

5:45 PM - It's a 44-yard attempt. It's right down the middle. And that will give the Raiders a 10-7 lead heading into halftime.

And that dude is clearly quite proud of his IRL meme skillz.

5:46 PM - Derek Carr is 9 for 14 for 82 yards and a 1-to-1 TD-to-INT ratio. Philip Rivers is 15 for 22 for 130 yards, but no touchdown passes.

5:47 PM - At the midway point, the Chargers have 30 yards rushing, with Melvin Gordon hauling in 29 of 'em plus a TD run. The Raiders have 42 yards rushing the ball, with Lynch leading with 49 yards on eight carries.

5:48 PM - The top receiver is Keenan Allen, who has 45 yards on five yards. Leading for Oakland is Michael Crabtree, who has 30 yards and one TD reception on two catches.

6:00 PM - Richard takes it up to around the OAK 40 on the kickoff. 

6:00 PM - Cooper reels it in for eight yards.

6:01 PM - Second and two. Washington slips behind the line. 

6:01 PM - Third and four. And Patterson gets enough to move the sticks.

6:01 PM - Lynch hit right at the line for no gain.

6:02 PM - We get an injury timeout for a downed Chargers lineman.

6:05 PM - Second and 10. Crabtree gets seven.

6:05 PM - Third and three. Crabtree reels it in for seven more and a new set of downs.

6:06 PM - Washington runs for two.

6:07 PM - Second and eight. And Washington appears to have enough to move the sticks.

6:07 PM - Washington with about two. Flags are down. It's a holding call against the Raiders. Yep it's Gabe Jackson again.

6:08 PM - First and 20. Roberts with a 15-yard pick up.

6:09 PM - Second and five. Lynch drops the pass.

6:09 PM - Third and five. Cook gets eight. Time to move the chains.

6:10 PM - Patterson runs for three.

6:11 PM - Second and seven. And the pass is intercepted on a deflection off Lynch. God fuckin' damn it.

6:13 PM - Gordon pushed out after a 19-yard gain.

6:15 PM - Second and nine. Gordon right at the line.

6:15 PM - Third and nine. And RIVERS GETS SACKED!

6:16 PM - Richard bobbles, but hangs on to, the ball and goes down at the OAK 20.

6:19 PM - Lynch runs for four.

6:20 PM - Second and six. Lynch runs for four more.

6:20 PM - Third and two. Looks like the shuttle pass only nets one yard. Time to punt.

6:21 PM - Benjamin fair catches it around the LA 25.

6:24 PM - Gordon with enough to move the chains.

6:25 PM - Gordon with a two yard run.

6:25 PM - Second and eight. Xavier Woodson-Lester with a great shoestring tackle at the line.

6:26 PM - Third and eight. AND THE RAIDERS FORCE A FUMBLE! Amerson recovers and the Raiders take over at midfield.

6:27 PM - A bad snap form Hudson and Carr has to hop on the fumbled ball.

6:28 PM - Second and 17. Roberts hauls it in for 11.

6:28 PM - Third and six. Crabtree gets three. 

6:29 PM - The Raiders are going for it. And that's the end of the third.

6:31 PM - Fourth and two. Incomplete to Crabtree.

6:32 PM - Chargers take over around their own 40.

6:33 PM - Ten yard gain for Henry.

6:33 PM - Williams with 11. 

6:34 PM - The deep pass to Henry is way incomplete.

6:35 PM - Third and six. A 15 yard pass to Mike Williams.

6:36 PM - Gordon with a minimal gain on the first down run.

6:37 PM - Second and six. Gordon hit right at the line.

6:37 PM - Third and six again. The Chargers call a timeout.

6:39 PM - A nine yard gain for the Chargers.

6:40 PM - The deep shot is out of bounds.

6:41 PM - Second and goal. And Gordon runs it in for an easy touchdown. 

6:41 PM - The PAT is good. Chargers lead it, 14-10.

6:44 PM - Raiders take over at their own 20. Lynch gets two on the run.

6:45 PM - Second and eight. A short four yard pass to Cooper.

6:45 PM - Third and four. Flag on the play.

6:46 PM - Offsides against L.A. That makes it a first down for Oakland.

6:47 PM - Refs have to reset the play clock. 

6:48 PM - Cook gets eight.

6:48 PM - Second and two. TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Patterson with a 50 yard run!

6:49 PM - A high snap, and Giorgio misses the PAT. Raiders lead it, 16-14.

6:52 PM - Gordon hit at the line on the first down run.

6:54 PM - Second and 10. Gordon bobbles it.

6:55 PM - Third and 10. Gordon stopped four yards shy of the first down. Chargers gotta' punt.

6:55 PM - Richard goes down around the OAK 25.

6:58 PM - Cooper with enough to move the sticks. But flags are down. An illegal formation call against the Raiders.

6:59 PM - First and 15. Lynch runs for about five.

7:00 PM - Second and 12. Incomplete and almost picked off.

7:01 PM - Third and 12. A hook and ladder nets 11 for Patterson. Still a yard shy. Raiders punt.

7:02 PM - And the Chargers' return man goes down at the LA 7.

7:03 PM - Henry takes it to the LAC 40. A 35-yard gain.

7:03 PM - Gordon hit after a two yard run.

7:04 PM - Second and eight. Henry with a big pick up - 23 yards.

7:05 PM - Gordon runs down to the OAK 26. A seven yard gain.

7:05 PM - And there's the two minute warning.

7:08 PM - Gordon with enough to convert.

7:09 PM - The Raiders call a timeout.

7:10 PM - Gordon with five.

7:11 PM - Second and 7. Gordon takes it inside the OAK 15.

7:11 PM - Third and three. Raiders take their final timeout.

7:11 PM - Gordon runs inside the 10 for a new set of downs.

7:12 PM - About a minute left. The Chargers take a timeout.

7:13 PM - Rivers falls down on purpose to get the ball inside the hash mark.

7:14 PM - Rivers takes a knee.

7:15 PM - Here comes the kicker.

7:15 PM - It's good. The Chargers win it, 17-16. 

7:15 PM - That's four losses in a row for the Raiders. With Oakland at 2-4, is it officially time to abandon hope for the season? Well, if they shit the bed against K.C. on Thursday night ... it might very well be.


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