Sunday, December 10, 2017

LIVE Play-By-Play Coverage of Week 14's Raiders vs. Chiefs Game!

Today's Episode:
"Better Late Than Never, Huh?"

By: Jimbo X

It's It's that time of year again, folks! As is the tradition here at The Internet Is In America, we're going to do our damnedest to give you LIVE play-by-play coverage of every single Oakland Raiders game of the season, including this afternoon's road test against Kansas City. Join us LIVE on Sunday, Dec. 10 for our patented possession-by-possession coverage of week 12's Raiders vs. Chiefs game, with the festivities beginning at 1 p.m. Eastern time. There'll be updates every commercial break, so be sure to bookmark this shit prior to kickoff. And, as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#SilverAndBlackLivesMatter)

10:33 AM - Alright, the Raiders and the Chiefs are both 6-6 heading into week 14, and whoever wins this one will be the de facto AFC West leader ... at least for a couple of hours, anyway, pending the Chargers win their game against the Redskins later this afternoon.

10:34 AM - Amari Cooper and Cordarrelle Patterson are both listed as questionable for the Raiders, while Cory James and Jihad Ward are both listed as doubtful. Jon Feliciano is a known scratch. Wait - does that mean David Amerson and Gareon Conley are playing today?

10:38 AM - For the Chiefs, Mitch Morse and Eric Murray are both out. Dee Ford is on the injured reserve and Marcus Peters is suspended. 

10:40 AM - Vegas has the Chiefs as -4.5 favorites, with an over/under set at 48.5. ESPN's Football Power Index gives K.C. a 70 percent chance to win the game.

10:41 AM - And here are the relevant offensive and defensive stats:

10:42 - Kickoff is at 1 p.m. I'll see you then, kids.

1:01 PM - It's 50 degrees in Kansas City. Amari Cooper WILL be playing today.

1:03 PM - The Raiders get the ball first.

1:03 PM - The Raiders take a knee in the end zone.

1:03 PM - Crabtree can't hold on to the first down pass.

1:04 PM - Lynch is hit behind the line.

1:05 PM - Third and 11. And Carr gets sacked after running into Keleche Osmele. Yes, his own O-line. 

1:06 PM - Raiders punt. The ball lands right at midfield.

1:06 PM - A flag is down. Ten yard holding call against the Chiefs.

1:06 PM - Kelce gets four on the pass.

1:07 PM - Hunt runs for enough to move the sticks.

1:08 PM - Hunt runs for three.

1:08 PM - Smith runs down to the OAK 29. A 16-yard scramble.


1:10 PM - A six yard loss for K.C. The pass to Harris is incomplete.

1:11 PM - Third and 16. Smith slides after a two-yard run.

1:11 PM - The Chiefs are trying for a field goal. It's a 53-yard attempt. It's good. K.C. takes an early lead, 3-0.

1:15 PM - Raiders take over around their own 25.

1:15 PM - Lynch gets a yard, maybe two.

1:16 PM - LYNCH WITH A HUGE GAIN! A 27-yard run up the gut.

1:16 PM - The pass to Crabtree is incomplete.

1:17 PM - A short pass to Walford. A six yard gain.

1:18 PM - Third and four. Carr overshoots Walford by a mile. Marquette King is out to punt.

1:21 PM - Chiefs dialed back to their own 13. Hunt runs for seven.

1:22 PM - Hunt gets four and converts.

1:23 PM - Harris gets around three or four tackles for a 24-yard catch and run. That puts the ball around midfield for K.C.

1:24 PM - Hunt runs for five. 

1:24 PM - Hunt looks like he went down just a few inches shy of the first down marker.

1:25 PM - And the Chiefs convert on third down.

1:26 PM - False start against the offense makes it 1st and 15.

1:26 PM - Hunt gets two, possibly three on the run.

1:27 PM - Second and 13. IRVIN SACKS SMITH AGAIN!

1:28 PM - Third and 16. The Chiefs call a timeout.

1:31 PM - And Tyreek Hill takes it down to the OAK 28.

1:31 PM - Incomplete to Wilson.

1:32 PM - Kelce can't hang on to the end zone sho.

1:32 PM - Third and 10. Smith tries to scramble, but he gets hit before he crosses the first down plain. Hey, it's a holding call against the Raiders. How about that.

1:33 PM - Mario Edwards, Jr. is heading to the locker room.

1:34 PM - And the Chiefs call another timeout.

1:35 PM - And Kelce punches in the 17 yard catch and run for a touchdown.

1:36 PM - Oh, and Kelce's is walking off the field now with some trainers.

1:36 PM - The refs say Kelce's knee was down before he got into the end zone, so those six points are coming off the board. And that'll do us for the first quarter.

1:40 PM - And Kareem Hunt easily saunters in for the one-yard TD run.

1:41 PM - Believe it or not, that's his first touchdown in nine games.

1:41 PM - The XP is good. That makes it 10-0, K.C. with 14:57 left in the second quarter.

1:44 PM - Raiders take over at their own 25.

1:45 PM - Lynch gets one on the run.

1:45 PM - Pattterson with two on the catch and run.

1:46 PM - Third and seven. It's incomplete to Patterson. Raiders have to punt again.

1:47 PM - Hill fair catches it at the K.C. 37.

1:49 PM - Wilson with a 63-yard pick up.

1:50 PM - Hunt gets two before getting popped by Cowser.

1:50 PM - Second and eight. Hunt with enough to move the sticks.

1:51 PM - Kelce gets about four on the catch.

1:52 PM - Second and five. The pass to Kelce is no good.

1:52 PM - Third and five. And Kelce drops what would've been a first down pick-up.

1:53 PM - The Chiefs are out to try a field goal. It's good. Chiefs lead 13-10 with 10:48 left in the second quarter.

1:58 PM - Second and ten. Lynch with a seven yard run.

1:58 PM - Third and three. And there's Cook to reel in the Raiders' first first down conversion of the game.

1:59 PM - The Raiders call a timeout.

2:01 PM - Washington runs for three.

2:01 PM - Second and seven. Lee Smith got illegally shoved on the incompletion.

2:02 PM - That's 15 free yards for the Raiders. 

2:02 PM - Washington runs for one.

2:03 PM - Second and nine. Walford gets seven on the catch.

2:03 PM - It's third and three. And Washington has enough to move the sticks. But oh shit, Amari Cooper is down.

2:04 PM - Looks like he get rolled bad on the last play.

2:07 PM - Derek Carr is hit as he's thrown and the Chiefs pick off the weird-ass looking deflection.

2:11 PM - Hunt runs for three, possibly four.

2:11 PM - Hunt gets stopped a yard shy of the first down marker.

2:26 PM - Sorry, I had to take a huge shit just then. It's now 16-0 Kansas City, which means the Chiefs probably kicked a field goal or something.

2:27 PM - Minute left in the half. Third and five for K.C. McDonald hauls it in for a first down.

2:28 PM - The deep shot to Kelce on first down is no good.

2:28 PM - Smith is sacked by Irvin AGAIN. And that runs the clock down to halftime.

2:29 PM - Chiefs lead 16-0 heading into the third quarter. Time to walk a puppy and I'll see you in a couple of minutes.

2:43 PM - K.C. gets the ball back to begin the third quarter. Hunt gets plugged up at the line of scrimmage.

2:43 PM - Kelce takes it to the K.C. 46 - a 20-yard catch and run.

2:44 PM - Hill gets eight, maybe nine on a pass.

2:45 PM - Hunt with an eight-yard run.

2:46 PM - Hunt with another first down run - an 11-yard gain.

2:46 PM - The first down pass is incomplete.

2:46 PM - Kelce spins for five.

2:47 PM - At the OAK 23. Harris can't hold on to the end zone shot. Fourth down for the Chiefs coming up.

2:48 PM - The field goal is good. It's 19-0, Kansas City.

2:51 PM - Oakland takes over at their own 25. Derek Carr only has 31 yards passing on the day.

2:52 PM - Crabtree with a two-yard reception.

2:53 PM - Second and eight. Patterson gets hit right at the line.

2:54 PM - Third and nine. A flag is down. False start against the Raiders puts them back five more yards.

2:55 PM - Third and 14. Carr under pressure. He gets chased around in the backfield, and the pass to Holton is out of bounds. Time to punt.

2:58 PM - No dice on the first down pass to Kelce.

2:59 PM - Chiefs at their own 32. Kelce hauls it in for 16.

3:00 PM - K.C. with a two-yard gain.

3:00 PM - Second and eight. Hunt gets three on the run.

3:00 PM - Third and five. Smith overshoots his receiver. K.C. must punt for the first time today.

3:01 PM - Richard fair catches it at the OAK 10.

3:04 PM - ...the Raiders fumble the ball and K.C. goddamn recovers it at the OAK 20.

3:05 PM - That was Johny Holton with the giveaway. Fuck him right in the ass.

3:05 PM - And Karl Joseph turns around and INTERCEPTS ALEX SMITH. The fuck.

3:08 PM - First and ten at the OAK 10. Lynch runs for three. Flags are down. It's holding against the Raiders.

3:09 PM - Weird, they're playing Stone Cold's WWF music. First and 14. Patterson juggles it and the ball falls incomplete.

3:10 PM - Second and 14. The pass is underthrown to Crabtree.

3:11 PM - Third and 14. Oakland calls a timeout.

3:11 PM - The shuttle pass to Washington is no good. 

3:12 PM - Marquette King out to punt. Hill goes out of bounds at the OAK 40.

3:13 PM - Hunt with a seven yard run.

3:13 PM - Hunt with another big run. He takes it down to the OAK 13.

3:14 PM - Hunt goes down right at the line.

3:15 PM - And Charcandrick West churns 13 yards for a touchdown run.

3:16 PM - The XP is good. Kansas City leads it, 26-0.

3:18 PM - Crabtree with a 13-yard catch and run.

3:18 PM - Crabtree with nine yards. The Raiders are at midfield.

3:19 PM - Incomplete to Crabtree on a deep pass.

3:19 PM - And there's a five yard illegal shift penalty against Oakland.

3:20 PM - Second and six. Lynch gets four.

3:20 PM - Third and two. Patterson converts with a seven yard pick-up.

3:21 PM - Carr tries to scramble and he gets sacked.

3:21 PM - Second and 10. And Walford drops the first down gain after a big hit.

3:22 PM - Both Walford and the defender are down.

3:23 PM - Third and 10. And Carr tries to scramble and gets sacked again

3:24 PM - And that's the end of the third.

3:27 PM - Raiders punt. The ball rolls into the end zone, so that'll put K.C. at their own 25.

3:28 PM - Now Keith McGill is hurt. Fuck this fuckin' game, for fuck's sake.

3:29 PM - Hunt has a 16 yard run.

3:30 PM - Hunt is hit after a three yard gain.

3:30 PM - Wilson gets some good blocking and converts for the first.

3:30 PM - Hunt runs it up for the gut for three.

3:31 PM - Hunt gets maybe two yards on the run.

3:31 PM - The deep pass to Wilson is incomplete. Fourth down coming up.

3:32 PM - The Raiders almost block the punt. The Raiders should have great field position on their next drive.

3:35 PM - Lynch gets three on the pass.

3:36 PM - Second and 7. Incomplete to Crabtree.

3:36 PM - Third and 7. And Cook reels it in to move the sticks. An 18-yard gain.

3:37 PM - Cook with a 14-yard catch.

3:38 PM - And Washington comes close to running for a first down on a broken play.

3:38 PM - And they DO give him the first down. And there's Lynch with a 21 yard touchdown run. Giorgio's XP is good.

3:40 PM - It's now 26-7, Chiefs, with 8:35 left in the fourth.

3:41 PM - And the ball comes loose on the Chiefs' return. And the Raiders may have recovered.

3:44 PM - The Chiefs maintain position after the referees convene. Now Del Rio has dropped the challenge flag.

3:46 PM - Oh shit, the Raiders get the ball back at the KC 43. The pass to Cook is incomplete. But flags are down. 

3:47 PM - Pass interference against Kansas City. Crabtree takes the ball all the way down to the KC 5. But a flag is down. It's holding against Crabtree.

3:48 PM - First and 20. Lynch gets hit hard behind the line. 

3:49 PM - Second and 20. Crabtree with a 13 yard pick up.

3:50 PM - Third and seven. And Patterson can't hold on to it down the sideline.

3:51 PM - The Raiders are going for it on fourth and seven. The Chiefs call a timeout.

3:52 PM - TOUCHDOWN JARED COOK! A 30-yard plus reception!

3:53 PM - Raiders are going for two. And Crabtree hauls it in!

3:53 PM - It's now 26-15, Kansas City with about seven minutes left to play in regulation.

3:56 PM - Thomas goes out of bounds around the KC 25. 

3:57 PM - Hunt gets two on the run. 

3:57 PM - Second and eight. Hunt with three yards on the run.

3:58 PM - Third and five. And Albert Wilson gets seven yards to move the sticks.

3:59 PM - Hunt hit around the line. Flags are down.

4:00 PM - Holding against the Chiefs puts them back 10 yards.

4:00 PM - First and 20. Hunt runs for four.

4:00 PM - Second and 16. Hunt runs for seven, but the Chiefs get hit with ANOTHER holding penalty.

4:01 PM - Second and 26. West with four, maybe five yards.

4:02 PM - Third and 21. West is dropped way behind the line. The Raiders call a timeout as the Chiefs come out to punt.

4:03 PM - Richard fair catches it around the Raiders' 10.

4:04 PM - Roberts takes it to the OAK 19. That's a seven yard gain.

4:05 PM - Crabtree converts.

4:05 PM - And that's the two-minute warning.

4:08 PM - Crabtree gets six yards.

4:08 PM - Second and four. Roberts reels it in for 11 and steps out of bounds.

4:09 PM - Cook with seven.

4:10 PM - Second and three. It's incomplete.

4:11 PM - Third and three around midfield. Fifty six minutes left in the game.

4:11 PM - Crabtree gets eight and steps out of bounds. 

4:11 PM - False start call against the Raiders pushes them back five yards.

4:12 PM - First and 15. Holton gets 10 and goes out of bounds.

4:12 PM - Second and five. And the deep pass is intercepted by Kansas City.

4:13 PM - The Chiefs take a knee and run out the clock.

4:14 PM - Our final score from Kansas City? Chiefs 26, Raiders 15.

4:15 PM - All I can say is - fuck football. Fuck it right in its big leathery asshole.


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