Revisiting PRIDE FC 2 from 1998!

Think you're a real MMA fan? Well, you ain't shit until you've seen Renzo Gracie smell another man's balls for 50 minutes straight ...

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@JimboX

Our whirlwind journey through the ENTIRE Pride FC fightography continues with a look back at the company's second-ever show — ingeniously titled "Pride FC 2" — which took place at the Yokohama Arena on March 15, 1998.

In terms of financial performance and in-ring quality, I think it's safe to say the inaugural Pride FC event was a rousing success, perhaps even one that was vastly larger than most people anticipated. After drawing damn near 50,000 people to the Tokyo Dome, it was pretty much a given that Nobuhiko Takada and Nobuyuki Sakakibara would attempt to recapture that same magic much sooner than later. And so, five months later, they decided to host the second Pride event in Yokohama, a considerably smaller venue, with a decisively shittier line-up of fights. And trust me — as bad as these fights sound on paper, I assure you they are ten times worse in motion.

But hey, don't take my word for it ... instead, take about 2,000 of them as I recount, reflect and (regrettably) reminisce on Pride's less than spectacular sophomore outing.

Up first, it's Royler Gracie taking on Yuhi (Naoki) Sano. Our commentators are Bas Rutten and Stephen Quadros, a.k.a. the best MMA play-by-play duo in fuckin' history. Royler is giving up about 50 pounds in this fight to the former UWFi grappler. And it SHOWS. Goddamn does Royler look anorexic. Rutten says Sano's fighting to prove pro wrestling ain't no joke. Royler has double hooks in and he's pulling Sano into the butterfly guard. Sano holding his own quite well up to this point. And on cue, Royler lands a sweep and hops into the full mount. Whoops. Sano is holding onto Royler for dear life. He tries to shuck Gracie off but Royler isn't giving up much ground. He keeps jumping from side to side. Sano is still flattened out on the mat. And Sano finaly manages to push Royler off. Gracie goes for a triangle and Sano ALMOST powerbombs his ass. Now both men are standing again. Royler clinches and he's trying to goad Sano into the butterfly guard again. Bas Rutten says Royler is built like a rock climber, which is actually a pretty apt little description. Also Quadros loses a lot of cred when he refers to Takada as "the Hulk Hogan of Japan." Royler looking for another triangle. Sano stands up and he falls back into the guard for no real comprehensible reason whatsoever. By the way, we're about five minutes into this and nobody's landed a single strike. Sano defends a single leg takedown and Royler ties him up again. Royler with another beautiful sweep. He's in side control. Quadros reminds us that this fight isn't being scored using points, so yeah, none of this shit technically counts, I suppose. Royler still trying to get into the full mount. The audience is dead silent for all of this shit and Rutten starts singing Simon and Garfunkel, because let's face it, there isn't a whole hell of a lot else to do right about now. Royler has Sano's neck cradled. He's in the full mount — we're talking the straight up missionary position at this point. "Nobody wants to see this," Rutten comments before singing "The Sound of Silence" again. Quadros is wondering why Royler isn't trying to smother his opponent so he can set up a cheap submission attempt. Hoo boy, this is a glorified BJJ grappling session right here. Rutten can't fathom how quiet the fans are, stating he doesn't want to have to watch this shit for another half hour. Royler is back in the full mount. Quadros bets Rutten "a million dollars" this fight won't make it a full 30 minutes. Royler FINALLY lands a punch. Sano tries to sweep and Royler starts working from side control again. Royler peppers Sano with the pussiest punches you have ever seen in your life. He is literally love tapping that motherfucker. LOL at comparing Royler's strategy to that of Alexis Arguello, of all fuckin' people. I mean, for real, nigga? "It's almost like two insects fighting," Quadros says. Cue Rutten's impressive Tony Montana impersonation. Shit, that alone makes this god awful fight worth it. Royler back in the full mount ... again. Well, it only took 20 minutes, but Sano is FINALLY trying to punch back. "I don't think fights like this are going to set the general public on fire," Quadros said. "People don't just want to see technique and strategy, they want drama." Truer words have never been spoken, Holmes. Quadros says this is the equivalent of a slow blues band taking the stage of a "thrash punk" festival. "This is not a fight, this is just two people laying on each other," Rutten said. Royler with more pansy-ass pillow-fists. Royler back in the full mount. Shit, this is one of the most boring things I've ever seen in my life. "They're probably applauding the fight is almost over," Quadros says. Rutten goes on a spiel about not being able to get a beer during the fight after waiting 30 minutes for something to happen. Now Sano is trying to hop in the full mount and Royler is rocking his face hard. It looks like Sano is trying to make Royler submit by smelling his cock. Now Royler is throwing some upkicks. Looks like Royler was playing possum with his punches after all. Royler throwing for the fences with his back on the mat. Sano looks beyond gassed at this point. Sano still trying to get in the full mount. Royler with several upkicks and Sano is bleeding profusely. Royler with a fucking roundhouse kick WHILE ON HIS BACK. No, for real. Sano is back in the full guard and Royler is punching the shit out of him. Quadros makes a reference to Kids in the Hall, of all fucking things. Royler still cracking Sano like bubble wrap. Royler with another upkick and Rutten asks Gracie to kick Sano in the balls. The refs stop the "action" so they can tape up Royler's glove. Royler shoots for a takedown and he gets it. He's working from the full mount and he's got an armbar locked in. Sano taps, and mercifully, this one is FINALLY over.

The official time is 33:14, if you were wondering. Quadros celebrates Royler's performance as strategically brilliant, comparing his technique to that of a slow cooker.

Ka-Sushi Sock-A-Rob-You? Eh, he'll never be anything more than a mid-carder, at best ...

Now we get Akira Shoji (who had that surprisingly awesome fight against Renzo Gracie back at Pride FC 1) taking on Juan Mott. Gotta' dig Shoji's CLASSY attempt at a ninth-grader's mustache and goatee combo. Both men feigning early. Mott with a decent low kick. Shoji keeps checking the bottom of his feet for something. He sweeps Mott like yesterday's garbage and he's already in the full mount. Not a lot of action happening. Oh fuck, Shoji has Juan's back and he's got a choke. Juan is flattened out with his legs straight up in the air. He taps.

The submission came at 3:47 in round 1. Pretty much a one-sided drubbing, with one competitor CLEARLY the superior fighter in every category.

Next on the menu, it's Dutch fighter William Roosmalen going toe-to-toe with American striker Ralph White. White — who, ironically enough, is black — looks like an anorexic version of Quinton Jackson. And if White looks familiar, it's because he was the guy that got turned into The Elephant Man by Branko C. at the very first Pride FC show a few months earlier. Thankfully, the swelling on White's forehead has gone down substantially, and right out the gate we've got a low-kicking clinic. The Dutch white dude is some kind of kickboxing motherfucker, which apparently, is a trait of all peoples from The Netherlands. White whiffs on a haymaker. Oh shit, NOW they tell us this fight is being contested under kickboxing rules, not MMA rules. Well, I guess that explains why both men are wearing those giant pitcher's mitts on their hands, I suppose. Roos scoring some solid low kicks and White keeps headhunting. White lands a head kick, but Roos keeps plowing forward. Roos gets warned for, uh, clinching, I think? And that's the end of round one. Koji Kitao — the sumo wrestler who "shot" on Earthquake that one time — is in the crowd, rocking a half blond/half brunette skunk cut. White's striking is looking a little better this right. White tries to clinch and throws a couple of knees before the rep breaks 'em up. Roos with a nice behind-the-ankle kick. White ALMOST connects on a head kick. Roos with a kick to the stomach. Quadros can't figure out what the tattoo on Roos' stomach is supposed to be. White with a kick to the abdomen, and Roos counters with a solid jab and a knee to the appendix. That's the end of the round. LOL at Quadros saying "that's not a ghetto strut," White's leg really is that fucked up. They show some dude with a mustache in the audience and Rutten says "look, it's a samurai!" and I almost spit Starbucks all over my monitor. Roos is working some fantastic inner thigh knee shots. White lands a few punches in the clinch. Roos lands a couple of more knees to the solar plexus. Looks like the end is near for White. Roos breaks through with a solid jab. White whiffs on a would-be haymaker. We've got another clinch, and Roos is landing them in spades. White goes for an uppercut, but he can't land it. Roos with leg kicks and a knee to the stomach. End of the round. Roos with more brutal leg kicks. Punches in the clinch. White eats a knee to the liver and White goes down like a stack of cards during an aerobics class at Weight Watchers. Nope, he can't answer the ten count, and Roos is our winner by K.O.

The official time? Just 38 seconds into round four.

Our next bout pits Vernon "Tiger" White against some random Japanese guy named Kazushi Sakuraba. Huh. I wonder if we'll ever see him in the ring again? Shit, even then Saku was rocking the Creamsicle-colored panties. Believe it or not, this was only Saku's THIRD professional MMA bout. And props to Quadros for giving a great explanation on why Saku had to fight "Conan" Silveiro TWICE at UFC Ultimate Japan back in Dec. 1997. White almost drops Saku with a HARD right and Saku shoots for a takedown. He floats over to the half guard. Also, LOL at Quadros acting like Pancrase was a "real" MMA organization. Saku keeps looking for a, uh, heel hook, I guess, but Vernon is holding his own pretty well. Saku flattens White out once more. He's almost in the full guard. Nope, he's back to the half guard. Now he has White in the full mount. Vernon rolls, lands one hammer fist and now he's totally vertical. He lets Saku get back up. Saku goes for a heel pick. Vernon doing a good job of protecting his knee. Saku spins out to the side mount. Saku switches over the other side and he's got a straight armbar locked in. Vernon fighting like hell to not give it up. White is trying to ragdoll Saku to escape. And he does. Now Vernon has Saku's back. He's going for a choke. Saku slips out and he's momentarily in the north-south position. Saku going for a toehold. Saku switches over to side control and lands a knee to the ribs. The refs enter the ring and scoot both competitors to the middle of the mat. Vernon kicks Saku's knee with his back flat on the canvas. Saku easily passes the guard and he appears to be shooting for another knee bar ... which he rolls into a straight armbar. But Vernon escapes and now HE has Saku's back! White literally lands one punch to the head, stands up, and Saku takes him down again. Saku is in side control. White is doing a good job protecting his arm. Man, is it great watching Takada on the outside silently eating his own shit realizing just how much better of a fighter Saku is than he is. Saku hops back in the full mount and yep, that's the end of the round.

Round two commences. White lands a straight jab. Then Saku whiffs on a high kick. Saku shoots for a takedown. Vernon tries to pull him into his guard, but Saku is more than content just hanging out from he half guard for a while. Saku is in the full mount again. Saku pops White right in his big, black face. Saku goes for another armbar. Vernon is holding on to Saku's shin for dear life. White escapes and now he has Saku's back. He lands a HARD shot to the left side of Saku's head. Vernon is going for a choke, without any hooks in. Saku ripostes with a fireman's carry (for real) and he's right back into the full guard. White's holding on to Saku's arm. Saku is folded up like an accordion while White sprawls. White has Saku's back. He's gearing up for a German suplex and Saku counters it into a rolling straight armbar. That shit was fucking beautiful. White is back to his feet again. Saku rolls again on the follow-through and tries desperately to get that armbar. White has Saku's back one more time. He's going for a rear naked choke, but Saku spins out. Well, that, or Vernon just gave it up. Saku hops right back into the half guard and he's looking for Mr. Armbar yet again. There are three minutes left in the round. Vernon still has Saku's back. Saku is pushing Vernon forward, and White has double hooks in. For some dumb reason, Vernon gives it up. He lands a HARD knee to Saku's body. Both men standing, and Saku is trying for a kimura. White escapes. Saku shoots for a takedown and Saku is in the full guard. This is a grappling clinic right here. Saku lands a right from the top. White has a bodylock with his legs. He has Saku's back. He's going for a choke. And that's the bell for round two. 

Round three. Saku with a takedown and he floats over to side control. Saku with a few punches raining down from the top. Vernon throws his legs up into the air, for no real reason whatsoever. Saku with another armbar attempt, but White rolls out of it like it ain't no thang. Now White has Saku's back. Saku rolls again and he's going for an armbar. No dice. White has his back AGAIN. You kinda' have to wonder why he isn't throwing any strikes, though. Five minutes left in the fight. White has Saku's back, and he's going for a neck crank ... I think. Saku does a great job defending and now he's almost in the half guard again. Saku's looking for his umpteenth armbar of the fight. Vernon rolls around, but uh-oh, Saku manages to parlay that into a fuckin' straight armbar OUT OF NOWHERE and Vernon taps!

The official time of the submission is 6:53 of round three. That was definitely one of the best grappling showcases from the early days of Pride. And, it being Saku's big coming out party and all, it's certainly a historically important bout, to boot. I wouldn't advise going WAY out of your way to watch it, but if you fancy yourself a *true* MMA fan, this is definitely a late '90s technical showcase you NEED to experience at some point in your spectating career. A really, really good match right here (and pretty much the only positive thing I can say about the show as a whole, really.)

All I can say is "hit fast forward and don't let go of the button until your fuckin' finger falls asleep."

Now it's time for Renzo Gracie vs. Sanae Kikuta. Heads up — this motherfucker takes SIX ROUNDS to decide, so you might want to break out the Mountain Dew Code Red before heading into this sumbitch. Anyway, Sanae is LITERALLY Ryu from Street Fighter II and Renzo is, uh, Royce Gracie, except a little bit bigger and with bushier eyebrows. We're clinching against the turnbuckles early. Gracie gets a takedown and Renzo lands a few shots from the top. Sanae holding on for dear life. He finally escapes and gets to his feet, but Renzo immediately ties him up against the pads again. Renzo landing some body shots to the solar plexus in the clinch. Sanae with a hip toss and he falls into the full mount. Then the NOT AT ALL BIASED JAPANESE REFS push them towards the middle of the ring so Sanae doesn't have to break the hold. Renzo doing a good job protecting himself from the bottom, as all Sanae can do is pretty much whiff his opponent's testicles. Nope, not a whole lot of action happening here, as Sanae tries hopelessly to lock in an armbar. The ref drags them back to the center of the ring again. Yawn. "Whenever a Japanese fighter fights a Gracie, they don't do anything," Rutten declares. Believe it or not, Sanae is STILL in the full mount, and it's been like, five fucking minutes uninterrupted. One minute left in the round. LOL at Renzo punching Sanae with pillow-soft punches to the head over and over again until the round ends.

Round two. Sanae throwing some loopy right hands. Quadros makes a passive aggressive comment about boxing not being Sanae's strong suit. Renzo ALMOST lands a knockout jab on the follow-through, but he misses by a few inches. So he just bullies Sanae into the turnbuckle pad again. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? More hugging ensues, and Renzo shows no signs of giving up the bodylock. He goes for a leg trip, but Sanae maintains his balance. Renzo with some good knees in the clinch. They finally seperate, and Renzo comes out strong with knee strikes. Renzo swings Sanae into the ropes and, right on cue, we're back to the turnbuckle pad. Sanae has double underhooks in. And he loses them. Both men look gassed as fuck, and as soon as I type it, Sanae powers forward and takes Renzo down on a botched hip toss attempt. Sanae looking pretty comfortable in the full mount. It's been a few minutes, and he's still just hanging out there. We get a clean break and now Sanae is dodging upkicks from Renzo. Now Sanae is back in the full mount. The announcers have absolutely nothing to talk about. One minute left in the round. "They're hugging each other intensely," Rutten comments. Renzo with a bunch of shitty punches to the ribs, and that's the end of round numero dos.

Round three. Sanae gets a takedown almost the second the bell sounds, and sure as sugar, he lands right on top of Renzo. Oh hell, here we go again. Fuck, why DID people think Renzo was ever that good back in the day, anyway? Sanae is still in the full mount. He lands several knees in the full guard, but he misses on both attempts and winds up striking the canvas with his patella. Sanae keeping Renzo at bay with a a side headlock. Sanae is balling Renzo up like a wadded sock. Now he's working his magic from side control. Sanae is back to his feet and Renzo is throwing upkicks en masse. Sanae immediately hops right back into the full guard, because apparently, he ain't that bright a bulb. Sanae is back in side control. Sanae's in the full mount. Fuck, I can't believe I just spent a full half hour watching this shit. Sanae still stuck in the missionary position, where he's trying to force a submission via penis on penis friction. Quadros has so litle to work with that he starts talking about how effective  just holding a motherfucker is in a street fight. Rutten does him one better by stating, in a roundabout way, that this fight is so boring there may never be another PRIDE show again. And that's the end of round three. "I don't hear anybody applauding," Quadros comments.

Round four. Shit almighty, Quadros just said this fight is "unlimited rounds" until somebody submits or gets knocked out. To quote Mr. T, "I pity the fool" that ever paid people money to watch this trash. Anyhoo, Renzo does what Renzo does and just squeezes his opponent up against the turnbuckle pad. Sanae gets a takedown, he's in the full mount and Renzo continues to pop him in the ribs from the bottom. Quadros talks about the need for things like "time limits" and "scoring" as the refs push the two men back into the center of the ring again. Man, I can't believe I wasted a whole Sunday afternoon watching this hot mess. Sanae continues to just kind of lay on top of Renzo. This is the least productive round by far, and that's saying something. Quadros asks Rutten what the longest fight in history is and he cites his mental battle against his ex-wife. You KNOW a fight is fucking garbage when the commentators spend half the fight advocating for the usage of time limits. One minute left in the round. The ref makes them stand for no discernible reason whatsoever. Sanae with a low kick, Renzo with a counter jab. And that's the end of it.

Round five. Yep, it's STILL going on. Rutten literally PRAYS for this fight to end. What do you know, Renzo starts off the round by pushing Sanae into the turnbuckle pad and applies a bodylock. Renzo locks in a guillotine choke and lands several knees to the head. PLEASE LET THIS FIGHT END, IN THE NAME OF JESUS. Renzo with more knees to the stomach. Renzo goes for a neck crank, but Sanae escapes. Now he's in the full mount. A shocker, I know. Now Rutten is giving us a primer on how breathing patterns are used in MMA. We are well beyond the 40-minute mark at this point. Yep, Sanae is STILL in the full guard, and he still ain't doing doo-doo. Renzo looks like he might be trying for a triangle. But he ain't getting it. Renzo's popping Sanae in the head from the bottom. Sanae looks like he's been dead for at least three hours. And mercifully, that's the end of that one. "There is no point if nothing happens," Rutten bluntly declares. "Fighting means going for something. This is not fighting. This is like anti-fighting."

Round six. Yes, this shit show had made it FIFTY FUCKIN' MINUTES. The ref stops the fight so they can fix Sanae's glove. Renzo lands a few punches and he has Sanae trapped in a guillotine. It's deep. AND SANAE TAPS! "Thank God!" both commentators declare at the same time. "I think the people in the audience probably fell asleep," Quadros comments on the silent reaction from the crowd.

The official time is 43 seconds into round six. Needless to say, this is one of the all-time masterpieces of shitty MMA fights — sitting through this 51 minute snoozer no doubt makes you a TRUE MMA enthusiast, I tell you goddamn what.

Alright, now we've got another kickboxing fight, this 'un between Tasis Petridis of Australia and George Randolph of the good old United States of AmeriKKKa. Holy shit, George is massive — that honky nigga' looks like he's damn near seven feet tall. Tasis, regardless, is a full foot shorter than his opponent. Weirdly, it looks like Randolph has a huge bruise under his eye already. Tasis with a low kick and George is head hunting early. He lands a trip but George is right back up. George with more low kicks and Tasis clinches. Yeah, people forget that Quadros himself was a legit kickboxer, don't they? George almost drops his foe with a knee to the noggin. The ref breaks up a clinch, and George falls on his ass on an aborted roundhouse kick attempt. George with knees in bunches. Tasis has to clinch just to save his own ass. George with more knees. Pretty much all he has to do is lightly lift his leg and he's tagging his opponent with patella shots. And that's the end of round one. There are five rounds, BTW, each three minutes in length. "The bigger man may get tired," Quadros comments. Right on cue, George starts slowing down considerably. George whiffs on a Hulk Hogan big boot and Tasis low kicks that motherfucker. Clinch. The ref separates them. Tasis with more low kicks. George whiffs on a straight kick to the belly. George lands a knee. Tasis slips, but he's right back up. Tasis lands a hard right hand, but George just eats it like a bony Snickers bar. Round two ends. Tasis with a right low kick. That seems to be working pretty well for him. Tasis slips, and he's right back up. Tasis with a decent one-two combo. They clinch in the corner. George with a knee, and Tasis makes him eat a flurry of punches. Tasis with a MEAN leg kick, followed by a jumping Superman punch ... kinda. Rutten says he doesn't believe in jabs, and if you've ever seen him fight, you'd know he's telling God's honest truth. George misses on a left hook. And that's the conclusion of round ... what is it, four, now? No, wait, that's the end of round three. My bad. George chases Tasis down and he punches him on the ear. Tasis with a GREAT right hand. George clinches. The ref separates 'em. Tasis spams the right hand again. And then he lands a good low kick. And another one. Tasis misses by a mile with the high kick. Tasis lands a left to the body and George rattles off a knee strike. George throws a molasses slow kick, and then Tasis lands a right high kick and a TON of punches. But George soldiers on. "I won't Tong Po," Quadros quips at round's end. Alright, the fifth and final round is upon us. Tasis with more low kicks. George is running on one busted wheel at this point. George almost punches Tasis out of the ring. George lands a takedown ... too bad takedowns aren't allowed in kickboxing, though. Tasis still looking for that high kick finish. Tasis with a spinning kick to the spleen. That was awesome. Then he lands another left hook. There's roughly a minute left. Tasis with a TON of punches to the back of George's head. Apparently Tasis got hit in the testicles. After a brief timeout we resume the action. Tasis goes for a high kick and George wrestles him to the ground. And that's all she wrote, kids.

Let's go to the judges. Shocker — Tasis won on points.

Time for our co-main event, Marco Ruas vs. Gary Goodridge.Yep, that's Marco Ruas, the champeen of UFC 7. Fun fact: "Ruas" literally means "streets" in Portugese (citation: Steve Quadros.) LOL at Quadros saying neither of these guys are capable of having a shitty fight, because God knows they need a barnburner after all the turds on this card thus far. Ruas goes for a spinning kick early and Gary chases him down. Ruas with a low kick and Gary staggers him with a hard right. Goodridge clearly has the weight advantage here. Gary with a flurry of hard punches and Ruas lands a takedown ... only for Gary to land on top of him. Now Goodridge is in the side mount. Uh-oh. Ruas is bleeding already from a punch in the half guard. Goodridge lands several HARD punches from the full mount. Oh shit, Ruas is about to get fucked up bad. More bombs from Goodridge as Gary plays Marco's head like a goddamn gong. Gary going for a neck crank. Ruas escapes. Goodridge remains comfortably in the full mount. Ruas ties his foe's hands up. Ruas tries for a guillotine, but Goodridge is just too damned strong. Gary is in the side mount. Gary with more bombs from the top. Goodridge is vertical. And so is Ruas. Marco has bad swelling under his right eye. Goodridge slips and Ruas capitalizes. Ruas goes for a heel hook and GARY TAPS! Talk about an out-of-nowhere finish!

The official time is 9:09 of round one.

And we come to our main event, Branko Citivic vs. Mark Kerr, which according to The Secret Files of Pride FC, was originally going to be Mark Kerr vs. ROYCE Gracie, but eh, the best laid plans of both mice and men and all that shit. And yes, I do realize that Branko's name has been spelled about 56 different ways, so just fuck it. Say what you will about Mark Kerr, that motherfucker was RIPPED. Dude easily could have been a star in the WWF, had he went that route instead. Lots of circling early. Branko kind of reminds me of Ken Shamrock a little. I mean, visually, in the face and stuff. Kerr shoots for a takedown and Branko holds onto the ropes with one hand and elbows the fuck out of the back of Kerr's head until the ref calls a timeout. Surprisingly, he didn't get carded for that shit. Kerr goes for another takedown and he grabs the ropes again and throws MORE elbows to the back of the head. A whole bunch of referees swarm the ring and we find Branko face down on the mat. Apparently, Kerr gave him a good curb stomping during the melee. And the officials call it a DQ around the 2:14 of round uno. Kerr wins it by disqualification, and because Pride was fucking Pride, they STILL let Branko come back and fight for them a year later. But aye — we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

... and that's why you NEVER trust a goddamn Croat, kids.

Good lord, was that a brutal show to sit through. Outside of the Saku/Vernon White bout, pretty much everything on the show was a.) an overlong exercise in tedium or b.) completely pointless horse shit. I mean, I guess the kickboxing bouts were decent for what they were, and it was fun watching Ruas pull a submission out of fucking nowhere, but hot Christ, do I never want to see a Renzo Gracie match ever again in my life.

This show was so bad it came *yay* close to ending Pride right then and there. Thankfully, they decided to retool their format just a smidge for the next show, and they finally got back to the winning formula of Pride 1 with their first anniversary show at the Dome in six months' time. Of course, we're only four shows into our chronological Pride fightography, but shit, this HAS to be a candidate for worst Pride event ever. And if there ARE any shows up ahead worse than this one, Jesus Christ, somebody give me a heads up so I'll be nice and loaded on Dirty Sprite before pressing forward.

Granted, since this show does mark the Pride debut of Saku, it certainly has some historic merit as an MMA relic, but beyond that, Pride 2 has nothing to offer. I mean, a 33 minute Royler/Sano fight and a fuckin' 51 minute Renzo/Sanae bout on the same goddamn card? No thanks, I'd rather slap my testicles up and down in a rhythmic fashion for an hour and a half instead.

Do yourself a favor and catch Saku vs. White a'la carte. Literally EVERYTHING else on this show you can easily do without ... trust me.