Wednesday, August 29, 2018

100 Percent GUARANTEED 2018 NCAA College Football Predictions!

You don’t even HAVE to watch the games this year … I tell you which team is taking home the National Championship four months in advance!

By: Jimbo X

Hey, what do you know, the 2018 NCAA football season officially starts tonight, with UCF taking on UConn in what should be a battle for the ages (yeah, right.) Of course, the “real” games start trickling in startin’ Friday night with Michigan State, Wisconsin and Stanford destined to run roughshod over some jobbers, and THIS Saturday we’ve got ourselves a full slate of games, from the Urban-less Buckeyes tangoing with the upset-eyeing Oregon State Beavers at noon all the way up to the 8 p.m. marquee showdown between defending NCAA champs ‘Bama and the post-Lamar Jackson era Louisville Cardinals. And if that weren’t enough, we get some additional football worth a damn Sunday and Monday night, too, with the Hurricanes and LSU going at it on Sept. 2 and Va Tech and FSU clashing Sept. 3.

Which, of course, means it is nigh time for our annual 100 PERCENT GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE NCAA FOOTBALL PREDICTIONS. Seeing as how there’s only about 120-something teams in division uno ball, I reckoned it’d be easier to just make seven all-purpose projections and prognostications in lieu of doing a team-by-team rundown, in the process allowing me to give a few generalized thoughts on each of the Power 5 conferences, throw out some guesses as to which non-fivers MIGHT make a run for it and, ultimately, give you my picks for who’ll be playing in all of the big bowl games … right down to telling you straight up who’s taking home the National Championship come January 2019.

So what are you waiting for? Kick back, open you up a can of Shasta, warm up some Hormel Chili with Velveeta cheese in it and prepare to dig in to these expert college football predictions — not only would I recommend betting the house on these picks, I’d bet your neighbor’s house, too.

Prediction One: Clemson will run away with the ACC

Picking the Power Five champs in 2018 ain’t easy … except for when it comes to the Atlantic Coast Conference, where it’s pretty much a foregone conclusion the Tigers are going to win the whole kit, kaboodle and enchilada. With Florida State and Louisville both in rebuild mode, you might as well pencil in Clemson for the ACC Championship game come December — and with an undefeated record, at that. Naturally, this sets up a clash with a one-loss Miami team for an automatic National Championship Playoffs berth; expect the Hurricanes to hang in there for a quarter or two, but the Tigers should nonetheless win that ‘un by at least 10 points.

Prediction Two: Alabama and Georgia will rematch for the SEC crown

Both sides of the Southeastern Conference should be much improved this year. Despite dropping back-to-back losses to LSU and Florida, the Bulldogs should still rise triumphant out of the east, while Alabama (whose only loss of the season will come at the hands of Mississippi State, a team that wraps up the season with just two losses on their record) should essentially cruise to the conference title game. The rematch of the 2018 National Championship Game should be a good one, but alas, the outcome remains unchanged; anticipate Alabama to squeeze out a close one to punch yet another ticket to the college pigskin final four.

Prediction Three: Wisconsin will win a war of attrition for the Big 10

Thanks to the whole Urban “Shh!” Meyer brouhaha, the Big 10 represents the biggest wildcard in the Power Five playoffs picture. I’ve got the Buckeyes going 1-2 to start the season en route to a previously unfathomable FIVE loss season, with two-loss Michigan, Michigan State and Penn State all roshamboing each other out of the title hunt. Eventually, I’ve got it coming down to Penn State against a one-loss Wisconsin team, who conveniently enough, lost to the Nittany Lions on Nov. 10. In a back and forth slugfest, expect the Badgers to just barely hold on, with a last second field goal giving them the conference championship … and their first-ever trip to the National Championship Playoffs.

Prediction Four: TCU will outgun Oklahoma in the Big 12

I don’t have a lot of faith in the Baker Mayfield-less Sooners to thrive in the pass-heavy Big 12 in 2018, and ultimately see them finishing the “regular” season with three losses under their belt. With Texas, West Virginia and Oklahoma State all dropping four games a piece, that sets up Oklahoma with a two-loss Horned Frogs squad to decide the conference champ. As you’d expect, that little affair is about as defense-deficient as France during WWII, as both teams combine for more than 100 points and nearly 1,000 yards of total offense … with a late strike from TCU in the fourth giving them the decisive one-score advantage.

Prediction Five: Stanford will upset Washington to win the PAC-12

The PAC-12 is the biggest crapshoot in all of college football, and I mean that in more ways than one — not only is it the single hardest Power Fiver to predict on a game-by-game basis, I also think it’s safe to assume that it’s the WORST overall conference out of five, to boot. With USC dropping four games this year, that allows Arizona to sneak into the conference finals with a three-loss record. There, they’ll do battle with a two-loss Stanford team that edges out a previously undefeated Washington team on Nov. 3 to give them the proxy North Division crown. Anyway, they curb stomp the Wildcats in the championship tilt, thus punching their ticket to yet another Rose Bowl appearance.

Prediction Six: Navy will make an improbable run for the National Championship Playoffs

Every year, we keep asking ourselves — rhetorically — if a non-Power Five team could ever make the final four. Well, this year, it’s actually going to happen, as a Navy team that sets a new NCAA record for rushing yards in a season goes undefeated. Chalking up big wins over Notre Dame and UCF (each of whom finish the season as two-loss squads ranked in the top 25), the Midshipmen make a major case to become the first non Power Five team to ever get invited to the final foursome. While the selection process isn’t without some contention (Stanford, TCU and Mississippi State all make strong arguments for their inclusions), Navy does wind up securing the fourth and final slot … thus, putting them on a collision course with Clemson at the Orange Bowl on Dec. 29.

Prediction Seven: It’ll be Clemson vs. Alabama for all the marbles … again

Alright, before we get into the final four, let’s get the other big bowl games outta’ the way first, why don’t we? In the Peach Bowl, I’ve got Georgia besting Miami (Not of Ohio) 29-28 in a thriller; in the Fiesta Bowl I’ve got Mississippi State thwacking Penn State 37-14; in the Rose Bowl it’s Stanford outlasting Notre Dame 20-19; and in the Sugar Bowl, TCU tops Michigan State 27-14.

Which brings us to the fatal four-way, so to speak. In the Orange Bowl, Clemson dashes the Cinderella dreams of Navy in a 40-14 mudhole stomping, while in the Cotton Bowl Alabama holds off Wisconsin 37-28. Of course, that sets up Clemson vs. Alabama (again) in Santa Clara for the National Title, as  Heisman candidates Tua Tagovailoa and Trevor Lawrence have a quarterback dual for the ages. In a back and forth affair, it comes down to the final ten seconds as Clemson scores the go-ahead TD strike; Alas, the Crimson Tide just can’t secure the epic comeback, as a Tagovailoa hail mary with one second on the board falls incomplete at the two yard line, officially giving the Tigers the 30-26 victory … and with it, yet another National Championship.

Kudos my hero, leaving all the best ...


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