LIVE Play-By-Play From Week 2's Raiders vs. Falcons Game!

The last Raiders game ever played on a baseball diamond?

By: Jimbo X

JimboXAmerican@gmail.com

@Jimbo__X

As has been tradition here at the Internet Is In America since 2012, join us LIVE on gameday as we give you REAL-TIME play-by-play for the Raiders' first home game of the season. Live coverage of the Silver and Black's home opener at the Oakland Coliseum begins at 4:25 p.m. eastern time Sunday, Sept. 18. Be sure to hit the refresh button frequently, as we'll be updating this motherfucker during every commercial break. And as always - do yourself a favor and bookmark us, and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. 

4:53 p.m.  - OK, I know I am almost an hour late. My girlfriend stumbled into an unannounced Kroger sale, and you know what happened next. 

4:54 p.m. - A scoreless game with about two minutes left in the first quarter. Falcons have possession around their own 20.

4:55 p.m. -  Falcons up to their own 40. Coleman gets about six on the play.

4:56 p.m. - Austin Hooper picks up another first down. The Falcons make it into Raiders territory as the first quarter ends.

4:57 p.m. - This is the only Raiders home game in the month of September. Which means this very well could be the the last NFL game ever played with baseball dirt still on the field.

4:58 p.m. - 19-yard pick up for Aldrick Robinson. Falcons now at the Raiders' 30.

4:59 p.m. - Falcons within 10 of the Raiders end zone. Second and seven. Freeman down to the OAK 5. 

5:01 p.m. - Third and four situation in the red zone. Sanu reels in a pass from Ryan, but it is short of the sticks. Here comes the field goal unit.

5:02 p.m. - And Atlanta makes it on the board first. 11:58 to go in the second quarter, the Falcons leading the Raiders 3-0.

5:04 p.m. - Taiwan Jones takes the kick off to about the 30. An illegal block in the back will push them back when the drive formally begins.

5:05 p.m. - Raiders at their own 18. Crabtree with about a nine yard pick up.

5:07 p.m. - Oh, it was actually enough for a first. Carr scrambles for about five. 

5:08 p.m. - And Murray picks up 10 on a pass. OAK up to their own 34 yard line.

5:09 p.m. - Richard swallowed up at the line. Let's call it a yard. 

5:10 p.m. - Second and nine. Seth Roberts gets about three yards. 

5:10 p.m. - Third and six. INCREDIBLE CATCH BY AMARI COOPER FOR A 25 YARD GAIN!

5:11 p.m. - Carr with a deep throw. Looks like it is intercepted. But it is pass interference on ATLANTA! 

5:11 p.m. - The turnover is denied, and OAK gets it at the ATL 1!

5:12 p.m. - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Murray with a one-yard saunter!

5:12 p.m. - Sea-bass is automatic. Raiders now lead 7-3.

5:15 p.m. - Matt Ryan and pals take over at their own 25. Jacob Tamme gets 13. 

5:16 p.m. - Ryan overthrows on first down. 

5:17 p.m. - Second and 10 at the ATL 35. And Tamme reels it in to the OAK 43. 

5:18 p.m. - Ryan hits ground on first down. Second and 10 at the OAK 43. 

5:18 p.m. - No dice. Third and 10 for Atlanta.

5:19 p.m. - Robinson with a catch at the 32. But a flag is down. 

5:19 p.m. - No foul for holding. It's good enough for a first down.

5:20 p.m. - Atlanta at the OAK 33. Devonta Freeman runs down to the 23. 

5:20 p.m. - Falcons run it. They should probably have enough for the first down.

5:21 p.m. - Freeman dropped behind the line on first down.

5:21 p.m. - Julio Jones is wide open for a 21 yard score. He torches Sean Smith en route to the Raiders' end zone. 

5:22 p.m. - ATL 10, OAK 7.

5:24 p.m. - A muffed punt and the Raiders will begin their next drive around their own 1 yard line. 

5:25 p.m. - Crabtree gets about nine on first down.

5:26 p.m. - Second and one. DeAndre Washington with a HUGE 26-yard run up the gut. 

5:27 p.m. - Washington with about six on a catch and run. 

5:27 p.m. - Second and four at the OAK 40. Richard barely makes it back to the line of scrimmage. 

5:28 p.m. - Flag on the play. A ten yard penalty against OAK and a re-do of second down.

5:29 p.m. - Second and 14. Carr chased down in the backfield, and steps out of bounds at the line of scrimmage.

5:30 p.m. - Third an 14. And that's the two-minute warning.

5:31 p.m. - And Clive Walford gets drilled about three yards past the line of scrimmage. Fourth and 11. 

5:33 p.m. - Here comes the OAK punting unit. 

5:34 p.m. - A 73 yard kick return for the Falcons. And Marquette King gets called on a horse-collar tackle. So yeah, even more free yardage afforded to Atlanta. 

5:35 p.m.  - Atlanta at the OAK 10. Coleman gets about four. 

5:36 p.m. - Minute left in the half. Third and goal, with ATL at the OAK 3. 

5:36 p.m. - Coleman taken down at the line of scrimmage. Thirty eight seconds left, fourth and goal. 

5:37 p.m. - Two seconds added to the clock. Here comes the Falcons kicker. 

5:38 p.m. - Matt Bryant is automatic from 20 yards out. That makes it 13-7, Atlanta.

5:40 p.m. - Raiders take a knee in the end zone. Carr has two timeouts and 38 seconds in the half.

5:41 p.m. - Walford with a four yard pick up. Thirty-two seconds left.

5:42 p.m. - Murray picks up the first and immediately steps out of bounds. Twenty-seven seconds left. 

5:42 p.m. - Third and one, actually. Walford picks up the yardage and goes out of bounds. Twenty-two seconds left. 

5:43 p.m. - First and 10. Murray takes it to the 48. Sixteen seconds left. 

5:44 p.m. - Smith gets three yards. Nine seconds left. 

5:45 p.m. - Second and 6. Cooper drops a laser down the middle. 

5:45 p.m. - Six seconds. OAK takes a timeout. They have one left. 

5:46 p.m. - And Roberts gets the first down. First and 10, and here comes Janikowski. A 58-yard try.

5:47 p.m. - Short and wide. And that leaves it at 13-7, Atlanta heading into half time.

5:57 p.m. - At the midway point of the game, Atlanta has 227 total yards of offense, while Oakland has 167. Matt Ryan outthrew Derek Carr in the first half 150 to 116, while the Falcons outran the Raiders 77 yards to 51 yards. 

6:00 p.m. - Of course, Rich Gannon would be one of our announcers today.

6:01 p.m. - Raiders get the ball to begin the second half.

6:03 p.m. - Richard handling kickoff duties. He goes down short of the Raiders' 20.

6:04 p.m. - Crabtree with a 10-yard pick up.

6:04 p.m. - Murray gets two on first down. 

6:04 p.m. - Second and eight at their own 30. Murray finds a huge hole and he gets about 7. And Donald Penn is down.

6:07 p.m. - Third and 3. Jon Feliciano in on the offensive line. Roberts can't reel it in. Raiders decide to punt.

6:11 p.m. - Well, here's a new one. The Raiders are challenging the last play before the punt because there were 12 men on the line of scrimmage at the time of the snap.

6:12 p.m. - And the judges affirm it. The Raiders get the ball back, and it's first down for Derek Carr and company.

6:13 p.m. - First and 10 at the OAK 40. And Holton gets 14 on a sneaky end-around.

6:14 p.m. - Play called dead on first and 10. False start on Rodney Hudson. 

6:14 p.m. - First and 15. Smith on the catch and run makes it to the ATL 38.

6:15 p.m - Second and three. Murray with more than enough for the first.

6:16 p.m. - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Clive Walford reels in a BOMB fom Derek Carr!

6:17 p.m. - And Sea-bass kicks a gimme. And Oakland retakes the lead, 14-13.

6:18 p.m. - That was a 31-yard touchdown pass to Clive Walford, for you fantasy footballers. 

6:20 p.m. - And the Falcons will take a knee in the end zone on the kick. 

6:21 p.m. - Freeman gets three on first down.

6:21 p.m. - Second and 7. Hooper takes it down to the OAK 29 on a 44-yard pass from Matt Ryan. 

6:21 p.m. - An 18 yard run for Freeman. And the Falcons are back in the OAK red zone. 

6:22 p.m. - DAVID AMERSON INTERCEPTS MATT RYAN IN THE ENDZONE!

6:24 p.m. - Derek Carr and pals back on the field at the OAK 20. Washington gets seven on a first down run.

6:25 p.m. - Donald Penn back on the line. Second and four. The play is whistled dead. A five yard penalty against Oakland.

6:26 p.m. - All right, second and nine now. Richard finds a huge hole for 29 yards. 

6:26 p.m. - Holding on Gabe Jackson negates the play. Now it is second and 18.

6:27 p.m. - And Richard gets about 10. 

6:27 p.m. - Third and nine. and Cooper gets it VERY close a new set of downs.

6:28 p.m. - It is inches short. 

6:29 p.m. - Fourth and inches situation at the OAK 30. And Oakland is challenging the call that ball placement was short of the gain.

6:32 p.m. - AND IT IS A FIRST DOWN AFTER ALL!

6:33 p.m. - First and 10 at the OAK 30. Crabtree covered by everybody.

6:33 p.m. - Second and 10. Washington dropped at the line.

6:34 p.m. - Third and 10. Two backs in the backfield. Murray gets two, but it is well short of the first down marker. Raiders gotta' punt.

6:35 p.m. - Falcons fair catch it at their own 15. 


6:37 p.m. - Coleman gets a 24-yard catch and run up to the ATL 39. 

6:38 p.m. - Hooper takes a big catch all the way down to the Raiders' 30. 

6:39 p.m. - Gabriel down to the OAK 17. 

6:39 p.m. - Second and one. Coleman with enough for the first down.

6:39 p.m. - Tamme reels in a touchdown pass, but there is a flag on the play. It's on OAK. Falcons going for two.

6:40 p.m. - Ryan does a sneak, and it is 21-14 Atlanta. 

6:42 p.m. - A 14-yard catch for Tamme. Taiwan Jones takes a knee and the Raiders will start at their own 25.

6:43 p.m. - Walford gets three. 

6:44 p.m. - Second and 7. And Murray busts it out for 15. 

6:44 p.m. - First and 10. And Carr scrambles for 5. 

6:45 p.m. - Short pass to Cooper gives the Raiders another set of downs.

6:46 p.m. - Raiders now in Falcons' territory. Washington with an eight yard run.

6:47 p.m. - Second and two. Washington just shy of the marker.

6:47 p.m. - And that's the end of the third quarter. Falcons still leading, 21-14.

6:50 p.m. - Olawale rumbles all the way down to the Falcons' 25.

6:51 p.m. - Murray gets five. 

6:51 p.m. - Second and six. And Murray is down to the Falcons' 3. 

6:51 p.m. - First and goal for the Raiders. 

6:52 p.m. - Murray creamed at the line. 

6:52 p.m. - Second and goal. Pass batted away from Amari Cooper.

6:53 p.m. - Third and goal. Throw to Andre Holmes isn't caught. 

6:54 p.m. - Fourth and goal. The Raiders are going for it!

6:55 p.m. - And CRABTREE REELS IT IN!

6:56 p.m. - Sea-bass in. It's automatic, and we have ourselves a tied game with 12 minutes to go in the fourth. 

6:57 p.m. - Falcons begin at their own 25. Freeman gets about 12. Defense is not allowed in the NFL anymore.

6:58 p.m. - Julio Jones brought down at the 47. 

6:59 p.m. - And the Falcons reel it in. 28-21. Sorry - I had to move my car and missed all that shit.

7:03 p.m. - So Justin Hardy caught the TD on some kind of fluky near-Raiders interception. Sounds about right.

7:04 p.m. - I don't even want to look at the Raiders' defensive numbers at this point. 

7:04 p.m. - Holy shit, Matt Ryan has 346 yards. 

7:05 p.m. - Carr throws it away on first down.

7:05 p.m. - Washington gets three. 

7:06 p.m. - Third and seven. Carr throws it away. Flag on the field. 

7:07 p.m. - Pass interference on the Falcons. The Raiders get a first down.

7:07 p.m. - Raiders at their own 40. Richard gets a couple on first down.

7:07 p.m. - Richard gets a nice block and picks up 6. Raiders at the 49 for a third and three situation.

7:09 p.m. - AND COOPER BEATS TROUFFANT FOR ANOTHER TOUCHDOWN!

7:10 p.m. - Actually, it's negated. Fourth down, and out comes the punting unit because Cooper stepped out of bounds. 

7:10 p.m - And Oakland is going for it on fourth and two!

7:11 p.m. - Richard may be short of the goal. It's short by a foot. Falcons take over at midfield. 

7:12 p.m. - The Raiders need a defensive stop here in the worst way possible. And considering how their secondary has looked so far today...

7:13 p.m. - Freeman gets six. 

7:14 p.m. - Second and four, and a third and three.

7:14 p.m. - It's a first down for Atlanta.

7:15 p.m. - Falcons well within Raiders territory now.

7:15 p.m. - Julio Jones within the 20. 

7:15 p.m. - Offsides call against the Raiders. 

7:16 p.m. - And the Falcons punch the ball into the end zone. Amerson slow to get up.

7:18 p.m. - Matt Bryant PAT is good. Falcons lead it, 35-21, with 4:35 to go in the fourth.

7:21 p.m. - Raiders take over at their own 25. Long bomb to Seth Roberts is no dice.

7:22 p.m. - Second and 10. Cooper reels it in at the OAK 41.

7:23 p.m. - Latavius Murry jukes and jives into Falcons' territory.

7:23 p.m. - Roberts runs for a new set of downs. 

7:23 p.m. - Olawale with another ten yards.

7:24 p.m. - Oakland at the Falcons' 19 yard line. 

7:24 p.m. - Olawale down to the six. 

7:24 p.m. - Second and goal. 2:20 on the clock.

7:24 p.m. - Andre Holmes reels in a six yard touchdown pass. Sea-bass is automatic. It's 35-28 Oakland.

7:26 p.m. - And the Falcons will take over at their own 10.

7:28 p.m. - Flag is down. No foul after all. 

7:29 p.m. - Freeman dropped behind the line. 

7:29 p.m. - Raiders take a timeout.

7:30 p.m. - Gabriel about two, maybe three yards shy of the new set of downs. And that will take us to the two-minute warning.

7:32 p.m. - Third and three. Sanu takes it to the Atlanta 35. 

7:33 p.m. - Julio Jones sidelined. One minute, forty-nine seconds left. 

7:34 p.m. - Second and eight for Atlanta. Oakland is out of time outs.

7:34 p.m. - Coleman stuffed behind the line. Clock is running.

7:35 p.m. - Third and nine. The back is way short. The punting unit is out. Falcons running out the clock before they punt. 

7:36 p.m. - Fourth and 5. Ten seconds left on the clock. Falcons punting. 

7:37 p.m. - The ball goes out of the end zone. 

7:37 p.m. - Two seconds left on the clock. Hail Mary time.

7:37 p.m. - Derek Carr at the Raiders' 15. Five wide.

7:38 p.m. - Crabtree gts pushed out of bounds on the Cal-Stanford attempt. That makes our final score from Oakland, 35-28 Falcons. 

7:40 p.m. - The Raiders fall to 1-1 on the season. Next up? It's an away game against the Titans, and needless to say, this defense is going to have to get its shit together and in a hurry.

Read More

2015-16 NFL Power Rankings (Week 4)

 

Your defense is offensive...

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@Jimbo__X

THE ELITES

01

Arizona Cardinals 

Season Point Differential: (+75)

Sure, the Cardinals may have dropped their first game of the season Sunday against the Rams, but offensively and defensively, few teams in the League look as complete as the Cards. Even in a losing effort, Carson Palmer still posted 352 yards, while Larry Fitzgerald and Chris Johnson combined for about 200 yards. Of course, the Great Ginger also got sacked four times, so maybe ... just maybe ... that offensive line (in tandem with an injury prone QB) could be the team's damning Achilles's Heel?

02

New England Patriots

Season Point Differential: (+49)

The Patriots had a bye this week ... not that they really needed one, as the team, anchored by Tom Brady's three game, 1,000 yards-plus total and the absolute inability for anything or anyone in this world to adequately cover Gronk hasn't really shown any signs of frailty so far this season.This weekend, they get a chance to extend their unbeaten streak to four games. And since that game is against the Cowboys -- SPOILER -- they'll probably get it, too. 

03

Cincinnati Bengals

Season Point Differential: (+44)

Although Andy Dalton only tossed one touchdown in the Bengals win over K.C. last Sunday, he nonetheless managed to rack up an impressive 321 yards for the day. The rushing attack absolutely carved up the Chiefs, with Cincy scoring four touchdowns on the ground -- complete with Jeremy Hill pounding the rock into the endzone no less than three times.

04

Atlanta Falcons

Season Point Differential: (+44)

After some exciting come from behind victories in their first three games of the season, the Falcons decided to shake things up a bit and absolutely smash the visiting Texans at home to the tune of 48-21. Amidst all the hoopla about Devonta Freeman's three touchdowns, it's easy to overlook the contributions of fellow halfback Terron Ward, who actually chewed up more yardage on the day. And if that run game isn't spooky enough, just remember: Tevin Coleman hasn't even been added to the official roster yet!

05

Green Bay Packers

Season Point Differential: (+42)

With just 224 yards and a solo touchdown pass, Sunday night's 17-3 victory over San Fran can rightly be considered an "off night" for Aaron Rodgers. Alas, the running back committee did more than enough to keep the clock ticking, while the Packers D looked absolutely stellar, blitzing Colin K no less than 41 times and sacking him six. 

06

New York Jets

Season Point Differential: (+40)

The Jets are the best defensive unit in the NFL, somehow, and they rebounded nicely from last week's loss to the Eagles by pounding divisional foes Miami 27-14 in jolly old England. That said, the offense didn't look too shabby, either; Ryan Fitzpatrick had 1:1 touchdown-to-INT ratio and about 218 yards, while unsung halfback hero mowed the turf for a solo touchdown and 160-plus yards on 29 carries.

07

Carolina Panthers

Season Point Differential: (+37)

Defensively and offensively, this team is a beast. Cam Newton threw two touchdowns and had 124 yards, while picking up another 51 yards on the ground. Then, there's the Panthers' D, which racked up FOUR interceptions, including a pick six for Josh Norman, who incidentally, had two INTs on the evening. 

08

Denver Broncos

Season Point Differential: (+28)

The Broncos, despite their 4-0 record, are very much a beatable team, as proven by Sunday afternoon's close call against the Vikings. In that one, Peyton had an atypically low 213 yards, and even more atypical, threw more interceptions than touchdowns. Alas, the Denver D -- which made Terry Bridgewater eat dirt seven times during the game -- is certainly doing their part to make up for the relatively lackluster offense. 

THE PLAYOFF HOPEFULS

09

Pittsburgh Steelers

Season Point Differential: (+21)

With Michael Vick only throwing for 124 yards, it's probably not surprising that the Steelers couldn't get past the Ravens last Thursday night. What is surprising, however, is that Vick couldn't get the ball rolling despite having arguably the League's best halfback AND wide receiver on the same line. If Pittsburgh fan aren't anxiously checking their calendars awaiting Big Ben's return, they most likely will be following another Vick-led "L.." 

10

New York Giants

Season Point Differential: (+20)

After looking, playing and (presumably, smelling) like crap the first two games of the season, the Giants have looked remarkably improved in their last two outings, especially Sunday's 24-10 win over in-state rivals Buffalo. Eli Manning, after what seems like a good three years of sucking, finally dethawed over the weekend, tossing three TDs for 212 yards. And the Giants D managed to hold Buffalo to just 55 yards of rushing offense all afternoon. 

11

Buffalo Bills

Season Point Differential: (+18)

While T-Mobile outthrew Eli Manning, he couldn't rack up as many TDs, either. That's the funny thing about stats-driven football; at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many damn yards you accumulate, if none of them manage to sneak past your opponent's one. The lone bright spot for the Buffalo faithful last Sunday? Receiver Charles Clay, who had 111 yards on just nine receptions.

12

Seattle Seahawks

Season Point Differential: (+16)

The winner of two in a row, the Seahawks were gift-bagged their Monday night 13-10 win over the Lions. Still ... phantom stripped ball or not ... Russell Wilson did have a pretty good showing, number-wise, racking up 287 yards for the night and going an impressive 20/26 on pass attempts. 

13

Tennessee Titans

Season Point Differential: (+12)

Very few teams are as hard to figure out as these Titans. While Marcus Mariota is looking like a future Pro Bowler already, the rest of the team, especially on the defensive side of the ball, tends to struggle. We'll see if we get the high-scoring Titans or the uncertain, shaky ones when they take on the Buffalo Bills in a quasi-sorta-rematch of the Music City Miracle this Sunday. 

14

Minnesota Vikings

Season Point Differential: (+7)

If you can overlook Terry Bridgewater getting mowed down seven times by the Broncos last weekend, the Vikes actually looked pretty good up against Peyton and the Broncos. For one thing, Terry had just as many TD passes as Manning, but racked up more yardage; that said, A.P. certainly did not look like the A.P. of yore, accumulating just 81 yards for the day and a single shot TD. 

15

Washington Redskins

Season Point Differential: (-1)

Don't look now, but the Skins have won two in a row and look relatively consistent compared to the walking chaos theories down in Dallas and in Philly. Speaking of the City of Brotherly Hate, the Redskins managed to eke out a 23-20 victory over their much loathed Pennsylvania rivals, thanks in no small part to an aggressive defense that sacked Sam Bradford five times. 

16

Dallas Cowboys

Season Point Differential: (-6)

All in all, Brandon Weeden's stats against the Saints weren't bad (246 yards and a TD), but the depleted receiving corps just didn't have enough gas in them to cross the endzone enough times to lead them to a victory.The lethargic run game also deserves some blame, as Joseph Randle and Darren McFadden combined for a lackluster 57 yards and just uno touchdown.

THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK

17

Philadelphia Eagles

Season Point Differential: (-8)

Even though Sam Bradford had three touchdowns and 270 yards, it wasn't enough to propel the Eagles over the Redskins last Sunday.Blame the loss on both sloppy offensive play (two lost fumbles) and a weak-kneed defense that not once sent a defender chasing Kirk Cousins down in the backfield.

18

Oakland Raiders

Season Point Differential:(-11)

After posting back-to-back 300 yard games, QB Derek Carr barely hit 150 in the Raiders' demoralizing 22-20 loss to the Bears. Latavius Murray and Amari Cooper both saw precipitous drops in production, while the defense continues to show problems -- especially when it comes to tight end coverage.

19

Baltimore Ravens

Season Point Differential: (-11)

The uncharacteristically defense-deficient Ravens had plenty of problems against Pittsburgh last Thursday night, but they nonetheless were able to weather the storm and best their divisional foes 23-20. Praise be given to Kamar Aiken and Justin Forsett, who combined, mowed the turf for 227 yards. 

20

San Diego Chargers

Season Point Differential: (-14)

The Chargers barely got past the Browns, but hey, a "W" is still a "W," ain't it? Philip Rivers had a field day, tossing the ball 358 yards for three TDs, while San Diego's' top three receivers (Keenan Allen, Dontrelle Inman and Danny Woodhead) combined for nearly 250 yards. 

21

St. Louis Rams

Season Point Differential: (-15)

How do you stop an offensive juggernaut like the Cardinals? Simple -- you outrun them. Former UGA stud/professional autograph signer Todd Gurley looked impressive as hell in his pro debut, racking up 146 yards on 19 carries as St. Louis rolled by Arizona 24-22. Throw in Nick Foles' three TD passes (including two to Tavon Austin) and all of a sudden, this potentially explosive offense is starting to show a lot of promise. 

22

Cleveland Browns

Season Point Differential: (-17)

Two weeks in a row, the Browns snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. The truly tragic thing about their narrow 30-27 loss to the Chargers is that they actually had better rushing numbers and nearly identical passing numbers to San Diego.Alas, Josh McCown also got sacked four times and lost a fumble, so ... 

23

New Orleans Saints

Season Point Differential: (-18)

Drew Brees and the Saints narrowly avoided going 0-4 with a thin 26-20 win over the Cowboys.That said, you have to give it up for Senor Brees, who looked all shades of 2009 with his 359 yards and two touchdown passes. The question is, does this star-deprived team have the offensive and defensive wherewithal to survival a division with both the Falcons and the Panthers in it? Folks, you don't need to consult a Magic Eight Ball to answer that one...

24

Indianapolis Colts

Season Point Differential: (-21)

By proxy of a Titans off-week, the Colts ascended to the top of the AFC South dungheap with an overtime victory over Jacksonville. With Andy Luck sidelined, the Colts turned to 40-year-old MATT HASSELBACK to lead them to victory over the Jaguars juggernaut and, all things considered, he didn't look all that bad. Of course, that's not to completely ignore all of the other offensive and defensive shortcomings besieging the team. Goodness, can you believe people actually had these sods name checked as presumptive AFC champs at the beginning of the season? What a bunch of knuckleheads, no? 

ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE DRAFT

25

Kansas City Chiefs

Season Point Differential: (-25)

The Chiefs ... predicted by those eggheads at Harvard as a virtual lock for the playoffs ... are 1-3. Their latest disappointment came in the form of a 36-21 loss to the Bengals, in which Alex Smith racked up nearly 400 yards but couldn't find the endzone once throughout the afternoon. The sole positive to come out of this one if you are a K.C. fan? Well, at least you know Cairo Santos is a pretty good kicker, I guess...

26

Detroit Lions

Season Point Differential: (-30)

The only team remaining in the NFL sans a win, the Lions got shafted on a controversial last second call against the Seahawks Monday night. While the offense couldn't get going against Seattle, at least the Lions D looked pretty solid; after all, they did send Russell Wilson staring at the stars six times, on more than 50 blitzes. 

27

Houston Texans

Season Point Differential: (-31)

No team epitomizes the importance of the aerial attack in today's League more than Houston. Despite having one of the most dynamic defensive units in the NFL -- complete with arguably the best defensive player in pro football -- this team cannot get their collective shit together offensively. Don't let Brian Hoyer's inflated fourth quarter stats fool you; when Ryan Mallet was up against the Falcons' A-listers, he could barely muster 150 passing yards, with cero down-o touch-oes. 

28

Miami Dolphins

Season Point Differential: (-36)

Remember that Harvard analysis I was talking about earlier, that picked the Chiefs to earn the top slot in the AFC? Well, those same Ivy League elitists picked the Dolphins to win the AFC East ... the same team that just fired their head coach after getting waylaid in London by the Jets. And to think: as bad as the Dolphins are right now, they are STILL the best pro football team based out of Florida at the moment.

29

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Season Point Differential: (-45)

The funny thing about the Bucs' loss to the Panthers Sunday is that they actually outproduced Carolina in both the run game and the passing game. The problem? The team just couldn't turn those yards into too many endzone excursions. And oh yeah ... it also probably had something to do with Jameis Winston tossing four interceptions, too. 

30

Jacksonville Jaguars

Season Point Differential: (-45)

The Jacksonville misery train kept a chuggin' over the weekend, as the Jags experienced a heartbreaker O.T. loss to Indy. This, despite having more passing yards and nearly over twice as many rushing yards as the Colts. AND a better turnover ratio. AND sacking the quarterback more times. Shit, how did Jacksonville wind up losing that one, come to think of it? 

31

Chicago Bears

Season Point Differential: (-57)

Thanks to some last minute special teams heroics, the Bears earned their first "W" of the 2015 season against the Raiders on Sunday. While Jay Cutler and Matt Forte both looked solid, this is a team that still has plenty of gaps to fill on defense ... if guys like Seth Roberts and Roy Helu can put the kind of numbers they did against the Bears, I can only dare fathom what A.P. and James Jones are going to do to them. 

32

San Francisco 49ers

Season Point Differential: (-62)

Three years ago, Colin K. was playing in a Super Bowl. Now, he's commandeering a low-scoring revere offensive juggernaut (uh, mini-naut, perhaps?) that's getting clobbered every week. In an abysmal showing against the Packers, The Niners could only accumulate 160 yards, while they ran the rock for less than 80 ... all while allowing GB to chew up the field for about 400 yards. 

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