LIVE(ish) Play-By-Play Coverage of Week 11's Raiders vs. Patriots Game!

This Week's Episode:

¿Qué quieres decir con que es ilegal cegar al mariscal de campo con un puntero láser?

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@JimboX

It's that time of year again, folks! As is the tradition here at The Internet Is In America, we're going to do our damnedest to give you LIVE play-by-play coverage of every single Oakland Raiders game of the season, including this afternoon's "home game" against New England, down Mexico City way. Join us LIVE on Sunday, Nov. 19 for our patented possession-by-possession coverage of week 11's Raiders vs. Patriots game, with the festivities beginning at 4 p.m. Eastern time. There'll be updates every commercial break, so be sure to bookmark this shit prior to kickoff. And, as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#SilverAndBlackLivesMatter)

1:40 PM - It's time for the Raiders' annual home stand in Mexico City, as they "host" Tom Brady and the Patriots at Estadio Azteca.

1:41 PM - The Raiders are fresh off a bye and sitting, uh, uncomfortably, I guess, at 4-5. Meanwhile the Pats just got finished drubbing the Dolphins Monday night and currently possess a 7-2 record. To say there's bad blood between these two franchises is kinda' like saying the Jews kinda have a thing against Hitler - not that I need to remind you why, or anything like that.

1:42 PM - Here's the injury report. For the Raiders, OT Marshall Newhouse (the guy who did this against the Dolphins two weeks' back), linebacker Cory James and guard Gabe Jackson are questionable. CB Gareon Conley is listed as doubtful.

1:43 PM - And for the Pats? WR Danny Amendola and TE Martellus Bennett are both listed as questionable. Meanwhile, OT Marcus Cannon, WR Matthew Slater and Center David Andrews are all listed as known scratches.

1:46 PM - And here are the relevant offensive and defensive stats heading into the contest:

1:47 PM - Vegas has the Patriots listed as a -7 favorite, with the over/under set suspiciously high at 55. 

1:48 PM - ESPN's Football Power Index gives New England a 62.6 percent chance of winning the game. Alas, this game IS in Mexico City, and as we all know - this is dyed in the wool Raiders territory, and Tom Brady just don't have to worry about Khalil Mack ... he's also gotta' worry about the fans blinding him with laser pointers and targeting him with paper airplanes.

1:50 PM - I'll get back in touch with 'ya fucks closer to gametime. Also, I'll be getting groceries in a few, so I might be late. Don't say I didn't give you fair warning.

4:23 PM - Well hot dookie, the Giants just beat the Chiefs in overtime. Now that's unexpected.

4:27 PM - Alright, the Raiders are getting the ball first.

4:27 PM - Third and one. Lynch easily converts.

4:28 PM - Vadal Alexander is starting at right tackle for Oakland. 

4:29 PM - Crabtree catches the ball at the line.

4:29 PM - Second and eight. Washington rumbles for about three.

4:30 PM - Third and five. And Roberts bobbles the ball away. Time to punt.

4:31 PM - The returner fair catches it around the NE 12.

4:34 PM - Second and eight. Cooks is about two yards short of moving the sticks.

4:35 PM - Third and three. Amendola converts on a no huddle.

4:35 PM - Burkhead runs for about five.

4:35 PM - Burkhead with another reception - this time enough to move the chains.

4:36 PM - White gets three, maybe four on the run.

4:36 PM - Bennett is tackled about a yard shy of the sticks.

4:36 PM - White runs it up the middle for a new set of downs.

4:37 PM - Patriots at mid-field. Lewis is hit behind the line for a loss.

4:37 PM - Second and 11. Allen hauls it in for about a five yard gain.

4:38 PM - Third and six. Amendola hauls it in around the OAK 30. 

4:39 PM - The running back fumbles the ball. New England recovers.

4:40 PM - Second and two. Lewis hit in the backfield for a loss of four.

4:40 PM - Third and six. The end zone shot is incomplete. But flags are down.

4:41 PM - Holding against the Raiders. That gives the Pats an automatic first down.

4:41 PM - Lewis runs for five.

4:42 PM - Second and six. And Lewis scampers in for the score. 

4:43 PM - The extra point is good. Patriots take the lead 7-0 with less than five minutes left in the first quarter.

4:46 PM - It'll be a touchback for the Raiders.

4:47 PM - Patterson gets six on a short catch.

4:47 PM - Second and four. Marshawn gets enough for a new set of downs.

4:48 PM - False start against Oakland. That moves them back five.

4:48 PM - First and 15. Crabtree can't hold on to it.

4:49 PM - Second and 15. Richard with a few. Third down coming up.

4:50 PM - Third and 11. Holton bobbles the long bomb, it gets batted and the Patriots intercept it.

4:53 PM - BRADY GETS SACKED BY MACK!

4:54 PM - Second and 18. The pass down the left side is good for about 13.

4:55 PM - And that's the end of the first quarter.

4:57 PM - Offsides against the Raiders. That gives New England an automatic first down.

4:58 PM - Lewis goes down at the line.

4:59 PM - Bennett gets five on the pick up.

4:59 PM - Third and five. The long bomb to Cooks is no good. Patriots have to punt.

5:00 PM - Richard fair catches it at the OAK 13.

5:03 PM - Marshawn rolls for about seven yards.

5:04 PM - Second and three. Cook with a completion at midfield. A huge gain for the Raiders.

5:04 PM - And Crabtree wrestles for what should be a first down.

5:05 PM - OK, it's second and one. And Washington converts.

5:06 PM - Lynch gets maybe a yard on the run.

5:07 PM - Second and nine. The throw to Cooper is no good.

5:08 PM - Third and nine. Cooper reels it in about a yard short of the first down marker.

5:09 PM - It's pass interference against Cooper. That makes it Third and 19.

5:10 PM - Cooper is stopped at the OAK 45.

5:11 PM - King out to punt. That'll be a touchback.

5:13 PM - The deep shot to Cooks works. Patriots have it at the OAK 30. That was a 52-yard gain.

5:14 PM - Second and 10. Gronk has enough to take it inside the OAK 10.

5:15 PM - The receiver gets hit behind the line.

5:15 PM - Third and 11. Gronk takes it to the three.

5:16 PM - White hit behind the line on first and goal.

5:16 PM - Second and goal. Amendola goes down at the line.

5:17 PM - Third and goal. Patriots take a timeout.

5:18 PM - Amendola catches it in the back of the end zone.

5:19 PM - The extra point is good. New England leads it, 14-0 with about five minutes left in the half.

5:22 PM - Touchback for the Raiders. Crabtree can't haul in the pass.

5:23 PM - Second and 10. Lynch with a HUGE run. That was 25 yards right there.

5:24 PM - Richard gets six.

5:25 PM - Richard finds a hole and he moves the sticks.

5:26 PM - Richard with another run. That's worth five yards. Holy shit, Richard run into his own lineman.

5:26 PM - Richard fights for about four yards.

5:27 PM - Third and one. Richard gets it.

5:27 PM - There's the two minute warning.

5:30 PM - Crabtree can't haul it in the end zone. No pass interference call against New England.

5:31 PM - Second and 10. Marshawn runs for about nine.

5:31 PM - Third and one. Lynch converts.

5:31 PM - About a minute left. At the NE 15. Roberts catches the ball withing the five, but the Pats punch the ball out and recover the fumble.

5:33 PM - Thirty three seconds left in the half. The Pats have it at their own three.

5:36 PM - Lewis runs to the NE 28.

5:37 PM - The pass is incomplete at the 50.

5:37 PM - Second and 10. Amendola gets shoved out at the NE 45.

5:37 PM - Eleven seconds left. Patriots going for 62 yard field goal.

5:39 PM - It's good. That makes it 17-0, New England, heading into halftime.

5:40 PM - Well, fuck this shit. I'm walking a puppy. I might be back and I might not.

6:00 PM - The Pats start at their own 25. Lewis gets five on the run.

6:01 PM - Amendola with  first down haul.

6:01 PM - Brady floats it to a wide open Cooks. An easy touchdown for the Patriots.

6:02 PM - A 64-yard score. The extra point is good. New England extends their lead, 24-0 with about 14 minutes left in the quarter.

6:06 PM - Cooper with his first ten-yard plus gain of the day.

6:06 PM - Lynch runs for five.

6:07 PM - Lynch gets 11 on a busted play. Not bad.

6:07 PM - Washington literally gets clotheslines at the line of scrimmage.

6:09 PM - Third and 10. The pass to Roberts is overthrown. Here comes King to punt.

6:13 PM - Lewis loses his shoe on the run and the Raiders think it's a loose ball and they all try to jump on it.

6:14 PM - Cooks is wide open again. He's got 139 yards on the day.

6:15 PM - Burkhead with about seven on the pick up.

6:15 PM - Second and four. Lewis runs for a new set of downs.

6:15 PM - Patriots in Raiders' territory. Burkhead runs for about three.

6:16 PM - The substitute right tackle for New England is injured. Time for a commercial break.

6:19 PM - Third and six. Brady's pass is no good.

6:20 PM - New England goes for a field goal. It's good from 51 yards out. Pats lead, 27-0.

6:23 PM - There's a touchback on the kick.

6:23 PM - Cook can't hold on to it.

6:24 PM - Lynch runs for maybe one.

6:25 PM - And Roberts FINALLY managed to hold on to the ball for a first down.

6:25 PM - Olwale with about five yards.

6:26 PM - Crabtree fighting for the jump ball on the deep pass. Nobody comes down with it.

6:27 PM - Third and six. Raiders take a timeout.

6:28 PM - The announcers are talking about how the players have to come down a long stairwell and how it reminds them of Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania.

6:29 PM - Fourth and six. Raiders must punt.

6:30 PM - There's a running into the kicker call against New England. The Raiders take the free yardage and elect to go for it on fourth and one.

6:31 PM - Of course the Raiders don't convert.

6:31 PM - Hell, I'm this close to rage quitting this coverage.

6:33 PM - The back gets hit behind the line.

6:34 PM - Illegal hands to the face call against Denico Autry.

6:36 PM - Fourth and five. The Pats go for another field goal.

6:36 PM - It's good. 30-0, Patriots.

6:41 PM - And there's the end of the third.

6:49 PM - Oakland's challenging a call on the field that Patterson didn't haul in a 20-yard pass on third and 18.

6:51 PM - The call is overturned. The Raiders are at the NE 20.

6:52 PM - And Amari Cooper hits the pylon to finally get Oakland on the board.

6:53 PM - Of course they have to go for two.

6:54 PM - Crabtree hauls in the pass. It's 30-8, New England.

7:04 PM - Patriots going for another field goal.

7:04 PM - It's good. Pats lead, 33-8.

7:07 PM - About eight minutes left. Patterson has enough for a new set of downs.

7:08 PM - Carr is sacked.

7:10 PM - Alright, second and 12. Olwale runs for about nine.

7:12 PM - Third and one. Olwale converts with a spin move.

7:14 PM - Third and 10. Washington drops the ball.

7:18 PM - And CBS officially cut the feed over to the Cincinnati/Denver game. That tells you everything you need to know abut the Raiders' performance today.

7:19 PM - Well, I'm cutting out early. The Patriots won, the Raiders lost and for all intents and purposes, Oakland's season is over. (By the way, that final score held: Patriots 33, Raiders 8.)

7:20 PM - All I can say is ... I fuckin' hate football, with a fuckin' passion.

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LIVE(ish) Play-By-Play from Week 9's Raiders vs. Dolphins Game!

This Week's Episode:

"Win or just fuck it, really."

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@JimboX

It's that time of year again, folks! As is the tradition here at The Internet Is In America, we're going to do our damnedest to give you LIVE play-by-play coverage of every single Oakland Raiders game of the season, including tonight's road game against Miami. Join us LIVE on Sunday, Nov. 5 for our patented possession-by-possession coverage of week 9's Raiders vs. Dolphins game, with the festivities beginning at 8 p.m. Eastern time. There'll be updates every commercial break, so be sure to bookmark this shit prior to kickoff. And, as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#SilverAndBlackLivesMatter)

5:48 PM - Alright, you fucks, I'm back after taking week 8 off. As we all know, the Raiders are 3-5 on the season and if they don't win tonight's game against the Dolphins, their season is going to be deader the chances of a Tom Petty world tour. 

5:51 PM - The kickoff is right around 8:30 p.m. I'll be back in an hour or so with the relevant, precursory stats.

6:24 PM - For the Raiders, cornerbacks Gareon Conly and David Amerson are both scratchs. Linebackers Marquel Lee and Nicholas Morrow, as well as fullback Jamize Olawale, will all be gametime decisions.

6:25 PM - For the Dolphins, Jay Cutler, receiver Dante Parker, guard Jermon Bushrod and defensive ends William Haynes and Andre Branch are all listed as questionable. Obviously, the Fins will be without top rusher Jay Ajayi, who was traded to the Eagles earlier this week. That means the Dolphins will likely rely upon Damien Williams and Perry Senorise to carry the run game.

6:28 PM - Here's the key offensive and defensive stats for each team:

6:29 PM - Vegas has the Raiders listed as a -3.5 favorite. The over/under is set at 44.5

6:33 PM - ESPN's Football Power Index gives the Raiders a 52.6 percent chance to win tonight's game. For what it's worth, the Raiders have been absolutely terrible against the spread, so last second gamblers - take heed.

8:30 PM - Patterson is going to return the opening kick for Oakland.

8:31 PM - It goes through the end zone, so the Raiders will take over at their own 25.

8:31 PM - Marshawn Lynch is back from suspension, by the way. First down coming up.

8:31 PM - And Lynch gets hit behind the line for a one yard loss.

8:32 PM - Lynch picks up a pass for maybe a yard.

8:32 PM - Third and nine. And Cook hauls it in to move the chains.

8:33 PM - That was a 35-yard gain.

8:36 PM - Raiders have a second and nine at the MIA 30. And Cook hauls it in to move the sticks once more.

8:37 PM - Lynch is hit well behind the line. Flags are down. False start against the offense pushes the Raiders back five yards.

8:39 PM - Third and 14. Carr has to throw it away under pressure. 

8:40 PM - Here comes Giorgio for a 36-yard field goal. It's right down the middle. The Raiders take an early 3-0 lead.

8:43 PM - Flags are down on the Dolphins' return. It's holding against Miami.

8:44 PM - The back gets gobbled up behind the line on first down.

8:44 PM - The receiver gets about five on a short pass from Cutler.

8:45 PM - Third and five. Parker gets enough to move the chains.

8:45 PM - Jarvis Landry with a nine yard pick-up. That might be a first down - yep, it is.

8:46 PM - Williams hit right at the line on the first down run.

8:47 PM - Williams with maybe a yard or two on the run.

8:47 PM - Third and six. Landry picks up enough to move the chains, but flags are down. 

8:48 PM - Illegal formation call against Miami. That makes it third and 11.

8:48 PM - Williams gets a yard, maybe. Then Miami gets hit by a holding penalty - the Raiders decline and it's fourth down.

8:49 PM - The ball rolls out around the OAK 30. A flag is down. 

8:50 PM - It's holding against the Raiders. That pushes them back ten yards.

8:53 PM - Crabtree gets enough for a new set of downs on the first first down pass.

8:53 PM - Washington gets a few yards, but not many.

8:54 PM - Second and nine. Amari Cooper falls down before he can reel it in.

8:55 PM - Third and nine. Raiders call a timeout. There's about a minute and a half left in the first quarter.

8:58 PM - Alright. Still third and nine. At the OAK 30. Flags are down. The throw is incomplete. 

8:58 PM - Miami was offsides. That makes it three and four. 

8:59 PM - Cooper can't hold on to it. Here comes Marquette to punt.

9:02 PM - Dolphins take over around their own 20.

9:03 PM - Second and 7. Looks like the receiver went down a yard shy of the first down marker.

9:03 PM - Third and one. And that'll be it for the first quarter.

9:08 PM- Edwards hit with an unnecessary roughness penalty.

9:08 PM - That gives Miami 26 free yards, after the initial pickup. 

9:09 PM - HOLDING AGAINST MIAMI. It's first and 20. 

9:10 PM - Second and 11. The back goes down about eight or seven yards shy.

9:10 PM - Third and six. Parker rolls to the OAK 22.

9:10 PM - Cutler is seven for seven passing. Williams goes nowhere on the first down run.

9:11 PM - Second and 10. Williams takes the reception about ten yards.

9:12 PM - First and goal. And Williams leaps for the touchdown.

9:13 PM - Well, at least the extra point was no good. It's Miami leading it, 6-3.

9:15 PM - Dolphins go for an onside kick. And the fuckin' Miami kicker recovers it.

9:16 PM - Miami has it at their own 48. The back runs for no gain.

9:17 PM - Thomas has enough to move the chains. An 11-yard gain.

9:18 PM - Well, not quite. It's actually second and one.

9:18 PM - The fullback appears to have enough to move the sticks.

9:19 PM - Cutler is now 10 for 10 passing. That's the longest such streak of his career.

9:20 PM - Thomas takes it to the OAK 25. A 15-yard gain.

9:20 PM - Oh shit, the ball comes loose. THE RAIDERS RECOVER. Credit Bruce Irvin for stripping the ball from the carrier.

9:23 PM - Raiders take over at their own 19. Cook is wide open - he takes it to the OAK 46.

9:24 PM - Crabtree with 11 on a pitch and catch.

9:24 PM - Flags down. There's an uneccesary roughness call against Lee Smith. Holy shit, he literally went over to the referee and said "I was just playing around."

9:25 PM - Marshawn runs for a yard or two. FLAG!

9:25 PM - Illegal motion call against Oakland.

9:26 PM - First and 15. Marshawn for, I don't know four or five. FLAG AGAIN. Holding against Jared Cook.

9:26 PM - First and 25. Cook hauls it in for 12 yards.

9:27 PM - Second and 14. Washington rumbles like a motherfucker for 11.

9:28 PM - Third and three. And Lynch runs for a new set of downs.

9:29 PM - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Johnny Holton with a 44-yard BOMB from Derek Carr!

9:30 PM - Fun fact: Holton only has two catches on the season. And they're both touchdowns - the first one was for 64 yards. 

9:31 PM - The kick is good. Oakland regains the lead, 10-6.

9:33 PM - Williams with about a two yard gain on the catch.

9:34 PM - Oh shit, Chris Collinsworth just reminded everybody that "freedom of speech" only applies to government restriction and don't mean shit when an employer tells his employees to can it. 

9:35 PM - Third and four. Offsides on the Raiders. That gives the Dolphins an automatic first down.

9:35 PM - And there's the two minute warning.

9:38 PM - Williams with a five yard gain, maybe.

9:39 PM - Second and five. Flags out. Personal foul against Oakland. Have 15 free yards, Fins.

9:40 PM - That was Joseph fucking up, by the way. 1:31 left in the second.

9:40 PM - Third down coming up. Cutler's pass gets batted down.

9:41 PM - Dolphins go for a 49-yard field goal. It's good. That narrows Oakland's lead down to 10-9. The Raiders get it back with 32 seconds left in the half.

9:43 PM - Patterson goes down at the 24 yard line. Twenty-eight seconds left.

9:44 PM - Cooper gets 26 yards on the catch. Raiders take a timeout.

9:44 PM - The ball almost gets intercepted.

9:45 PM - Second and 10. Thirteen seconds on the clock.

9:46 PM - The long shot to Cooper downfield is no dice. Six seconds left on the clock.

9:47 PM - Cook takes it into Miami territory. The Raiders call a timeout with one second left.

9:48 PM - Here comes Giorgio. It's a 53-yard attempt.

9:48 PM - Dolphins call a timeout.

9:48 PM - The kick is GOOD. And the Raiders extend their lead to 13-9 heading into halftime.

9:49 PM - Alright, time to walk a puppy. See you back here in about 20, kids.

10:02 PM - The Dolphins take a touchback. The field is all hazy from the halftime fireworks. It's not quite as bad as the Pats/Falcons game from a few weeks back, but it is pretty wonky looking.

10:03 PM - YES, THEY ARE BRINGING OUT THE MADDEN CAM!

10:03 PM - Julius Thomas can't hold on to the ball.

10:03 PM - Williams gets eight or nine. But it goes back thanks to a holding call.

10:04 PM - Second and 20. Flags are down. It's a false start call against Miami.

10:05 PM - Now it's second and 25. Drake gets a few. 

10:05 PM - Third and 21. Thomas hauls it in, but it's nowhere near enough to move the sticks. Miami has to punt.

10:06 PM - Richard goes down around the 30.

10:09 PM - Marshawn wrestles for about three or four yards.

10:10 PM - Second and seven. And Lynch runs for more than enough to move the chains - a 14-yard run.

10:11 PM - Cooper takes it to the MIA 30. A 20-yard gain.

10:11 PM - Richard with about a yard on the run.

10:12 PM - Second and seven. Lynch bumped out of bounds about a yard shy of the first down marker.

10:13 PM - Third and two. TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! A 22-YARD TD RUN FOR LYNCH!

10:14 PM - Giorgio's kick is good. And that makes it 20-9, Raiders.

10:17 PM - Dolphins take over at their own 25. Damn it, they switched away from the Madden Cam.

10:18 PM - First and ten. Here comes the blitz, so Cutler just throws it away.

10:18 PM - Second and ten. Drake runs all the way down to the OAK 23. A 42-yard run.

10:19 PM - Landry runs for about five before stepping out of bounds.

10:20 PM - Stills pushes it inside the OAK 10. 

10:20 PM - The tight end gets two yards.

10:21 PM - And Jarvis Landry reels it in for a touchdown.

10:22 PM - The PAT is good. That makes it 20-16, Raiders.

10:25 PM - Patterson gets dropped around the OAK 32.

10:25 PM - It's incomplete to Cook.

10:26 PM - Cooper gets about six or seven on the catch.

10:27 PM - Third and four. Roberts gets hit at the line. Time to punt.

10:28 PM - The Dolphins fair catch it at their own 18.

10:31 PM - Drake stopped at the line of scrimmage. 

10:31 PM - Landry is hit immediately at the MIA 21.

10:31 PM - Third and seven. Cutler's pass is incomplete. Miami must punt.

10:32 PM - Richard takes it to the OAK 38.

10:33 PM - Richard with a minimal gain.

10:34 PM - Second and eight. Richard makes it to the OAK 44.

10:35 PM - Third and four coming up. Jared Cook hauls it in to move the sticks.

10:35 PM - Richard runs for maybe four, five.

10:36 PM - Second and five. Richard can't get beyodn the line of scrimmage.

10:37 PM - Third and five. And that's the end of the quarter.

10:40 PM - Still third and five. Cooper catches it in traffic to move the chains.

10:40 PM - Lynch runs for about eight.

10:41 PM - Second and two. Richard gets hit behind the line.

10:41 PM - Third and four. Dropped by Roberts, but there is a flag down.

10:42 PM - Holding against Oakland.

10:42 PM - It's fourth and four. Looks like the Raiders are going for it?

10:43 PM - Never mind. The Dolphins accept the penalty to make it third and 14 instead.

10:44 PM - Derek Call gets the ball slapped out of his hand, Marshall Newhouse recovers, but then he falls down and fumbles the ball again and the Dolphins recover. Fuck this shitty fuckin' team, right in their fuckin' asshole.

10:47 PM - Suh is headed to the locker room. And Williams runs down to the OAK 20. But LOL, it gets called back on an offensive holding penalty.

10:48 PM - First and 12. The back gets two, maybe.

10:49 PM - Second and 10. Cutler almost sacked and his pass is incomplete.

10:50 PM - Suh is coming back into the game, it appears. Third and 10.

10:50 PM - Stills is about five, perhaps six yards shy of the marker. Fourth down for Miami. They've got to punt.

10:51 PM - TJ Carrie fair catches it at the 10.

10:53 PM - A two yard gain for Washington.

10:54 PM - Second and eight. It's incomplete to Amari.

10:55 PM - Third down coming up. The Raiders call a timeout.

10:56 PM - Third and eight with 9:47 left in the fourth. This time Crabtree drops the pass.

10:57 PM - Raiders must punt. The Dolphins down the ball around their own 40.

10:58 PM - Flag is down. It's offensive holding, so the Dolphisn go back ten.

10:59 PM - First and 20. Cutler overthrows his man on the deep pass.

11:00 PM - A player in teal is injured. Second and 20. CUTLER IS SACKED!

11:01 PM - Third and 22. Williams is nowhere close to moving the sticks.

11:02 PM - Richard fair catches it around the OAK 10.

11:05 PM - Lynch runs for two yards.

11:06 PM - Crabtree hauls it in to move the chains.

11:06 PM - Lynch goes nowhere running a no huddle.

11:07 PM - Second and 12. Cook gets about six on the catch.

11:07 PM - Third and five. The Raiders call a timeout.

11:09 PM - Seth Roberts is WIDE OPEN. That is a huge gain. But a flag is down.

11:10 PM - It's a 29-yard gain. Plus an extra 15 yards due to a Miami personal foul.

11:10 PM - The pass to Crabtree is no good. Flags are down. Pass interference against the Dolphins.

11:10 PM - First and goal from the three yard line. AND LYNCH BULLDOZES HIS WAY INTO THE END ZONE.

11:11 PM - The PAT is good. Raiders lead it 27-16 with less than five minutes remaining in the quarter.

11:15 PM - Third and one. Thomas hauls in the pass to move the chains.

11:17 PM - Second and five. It's a bad snap, and Cutler just falls on it. The Dolphins take a timeout.

11:18 PM - Third and nine. The pass is low and incomplete.

11:19 PM - Fourth and nine. Miami is going for it. Thomas hauls it in. But there is a flag down.

11:19 PM - Yep, it's holding against the Dolphins. Fourth and 19 now.

11:20 PM - And Cutler just throws it away under pressure. Raiders take it over on downs.

11:21 PM - Oakland has it at midfield. Lynch goes down around the line of scrimmage.

11:22 PM - Dolphins take a timeout. The Madden Cam is back. Lynch goes nowhere.

11:23 PM - The ball is intercepted. And there's the two minute warning.

11:25 PM - 1:50 left in the game. Miami is backed up around their own 10. Still gets enough to move the chains. Then Bruce Irvin gets hit with a roughing the passer call.

11:26 PM - Dolphins at midfield. That's another first for the Fins.

11:26 PM - Parker makes a one-handed catch, but it's out of bounds. 

11:27 PM - Alright, the last play is under review.

11:29 PM - The call is overturned. The Dolphins now have it at the OAK 10 with a minute and a half left. 

11:30 PM - And Thomas hauls in the touchdown pass. Miami is going for two.

11:30 PM - Miami takes their final timeout.

11:31 PM - Drake barrels his way in to make it 27-24 Oakland. We've got an onside kick coming up.

11:32 PM - The Raiders take their final timeout.

11:33 PM - Amari Cooper recovers the onside kick.

11:34 PM - Derek Carr takes a knee. Yep. this'll be the ball game.

11:36 PM - And there's the final knee. Our final score from south Florida? The Raiders win a must-win game, 27-24, and improve to 4-5 on the season. They've got a bye next week, and then? It's time to go Mexico City way for a clash against El Patriotos. 

11:36 PM - All I can say is ... I love football? With a passion?

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LIVE(ish) Play-By-Play from Week 7's Raiders vs. Chiefs Game!

This Week's Episode:

"A premature end to the season, or a sudden (and much needed) turnaround?"

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@JimboX

It's that time of year again, folks! As is the tradition here at The Internet Is In America, we're going to do our damnedest to give you LIVE play-by-play coverage of every single Oakland Raiders game of the season, including tonight's home stand against Kansas City. Join us LIVE on Thursday, Oct. 19 for our patented possession-by-possession coverage of week 7's Raiders vs. Chiefs game, with the festivities beginning at 8 p.m. eastern time. There'll be updates every commercial break, so be sure to bookmark this shit prior to kickoff. And, as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#SilverAndBlackLivesMatter)

4:59 PM - I'm just going to tell you people upfront. If the Raiders don't win tonight, I am officially done for the year. It's one thing to squander every Sunday afternoon and the occasional Monday and Thursday night to see your time win, but if these fuckers have the gall to drop five losses in a row on me, I've got to take a hiatus just for my own mental well-being, you dig?

5:00 PM - Anyhoo, game time is 8:25 P.M. Eastern. Not that you need me to tell you this, but the Raiders are 2-4, having dropped four games in a row since starting the season off 2-0 and looking like a legit Super Bowl caliber team. The big news is that they signed ex-49ers linebacker Navarro Bowman earlier this week and he is suited to play for the Silver and Black this evening. Needless to say, the Raiders' porous back three need as much help as they can get, with Marquel Lee still out of action and Bruce Irvin committing more holding penalties than tackles.

5:02 PM - For Oakland, defensive tackle Darius Latham, offensive tackle Marshall Newhouse and cornerback Gareon Conley are all scratches. Linebackers Nicolas Morrow and Cory James are both listed as questionable.

5:04 PM - Meanwhile, the visiting 5-1 Chiefs will be without running back Charcandrick West, center Mitch Morse, and guard Laurent Duvarney-Tardif. Cornerback Ashton Lampkin and receiver Chris Conley are both on the injured reserve.

5:09 PM - Our live coverage begins at 8 p.m. Be there, or be a parallelogram, you asshole.

7:59 PM - Update: I might be late for this shit because I need a hamburger. You folks might just have to fend for yourselves for a little while - try not to resort to cannibalism in my absence.

8:35 PM - Chiefs are up 3-0. Raiders, rocking all white jerseys, take possession for the first time tonight.

8:37 PM - Amari Cooper with about an 11 yard pick up.

8:37 PM - Richard runs for about two yards.

8:38 PM - Cook with a HUGE pick up. 24 yards on the play.

8:39 PM - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Amari Cooper reels it in on a flea flicker from Marshawn to Derek.

8:40 PM - No flags on the play. The touchdown STANDS. That was a 38-yard strike.

8:41 PM - OK, the play is under review. And the call STANDS, for real this time.

8:42 PM - Giorgio's kick is good. The Raiders lead it, 7-3.

8:48 PM - Third and 10 for Kansas City. And the Chiefs are WAY short of moving the sticks.

8:49 PM - Autry gets hit with a roughing the passer call, so the Chiefs get a new set of downs.

8:50 PM - Hunt with about ten on the pitch and catch.

8:51 PM - K.C. at the OAK 15. Kelce hauls in the touchdown pass. Way to go, D'enico, you superfluous apostrophe having motherfucker.

8:52 PM - The PAT is good. The Chiefs reclaim the lead, 10-7.

8:55 PM - Lynch gets about six on the first down run.

8:56 PM - The pass to Amari Cooper is tipped.

8:56 PM - Third and four. And Patterson snags it one handed to keep the drive rolling.

8:57 PM - Richard barely makes it back to the line on the first down run.

8:58 PM - Richard gets about seven on second down.

8:59 PM - And Crabtree gets enough to move the sticks.

8:59 PM - Lynch runs for about three.

9:00 PM - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Amari Cooper with his second end zone visit of the day!

9:00 PM - That fucker was easily 50-yards plus. And Giorgio's kick es bueno. Raiders retake the lead, 14-10.

9:05 PM - Smith, with Mack breathing down his neck, has to throw it away on first down.

9:06 PM - Hunt goes for about five. And that ought to be the end of the first quarter.

9:09 PM - It's incomplete to Spiller. The Chiefs have to punt.

9:09 PM - Richard fair catches it at the OAK 20.

9:10 PM - The first down pass is batted down.

9:11 PM - Washington runs for about three yards.

9:12 PM - And Carr gets sacked. And the ball comes loose. But LOL, the Chiefs get a holding call and the Raiders get a new set of downs.

9:12 PM - Washington hit right at the line. 

9:13 PM - Washington loses a couple of yards on the run.

9:13 PM - Third and 12. AND CRABTREE CONVERTS. A 17-yard pick up.

9:14 PM - Cooper with a 14-yard catch. He's over 100 on the day already.

9:15 PM - Washington battles for about five yards.

9:16 PM - Unnecessary roughness call against Lee Smith. That'll push the Raiders back 15 yards.

9:17 PM - Second and 21. It's out of the hands of Roberts.

9:17 PM - Third and 21. Richard with about 10. Raiders have to punt.

9:18 PM - And the Raiders down King's punt at the KC one.

9:21 PM - Robinson picks up the pass about 30 yards out.

9:21 PM - The back gets 2, maybe 3 on the run.

9:22 PM - Second and eight. And there's a 64-yard touchdown pas to Hill. Of course.

9:23 PM - Chiefs retake the lead, 17-14.

9:27 PM - Patterson drops the first down pass.

9:28 PM - Richard with a couple on the run. Third and seven coming up.

9:28 PM - Richard converts.

9:28 PM - And there's Roberts with another 15-yard gain.

9:29 PM - The throw to Walford is incomplete. But flags are down.

9:30 PM - Two fouls on Oakland. That's a ten yard holding penalty.

9:31 PM - First and 20. And Amari Cooper can't haul in the jump ball in the end zone.

9:31 PM - Richard takes it to the KC 43. 

9:32 PM - Third and eight. Derek Carr tries to do a quarterback sneak. Flags are everywhere.

9:32 PM - We damn near have a brawl at midfield. Marcus Peters appears to have nailed Derek Carr with a helmet to helmet hit. 

9:33 PM - There's a late hit call against K.C. That's 15 yards for Oakland. But Marshawn Lynch is EJECTED for contact with an official. 

9:34 PM - Well, there's a very strong word I'd like to describe Marshawn right now. But I ain't gonna' say it. But let's face it ... we're all thinking it. 

9:35 PM - First and 25. The first pass goes through the hands of Cooper.

9:36 PM - Richard gets about nine. It's third and 16.

9:36 PM - It looks like there is early contact against Seth Roberts, but the refs don't call it.

9:37 PM - Here comes Giorgio for a 53-yard field goal. It's blocked by Kansas City and falls short of the uprights.

9:40 PM - Well, if we're lucky, this shit might deteriorate into a good old fashioned Avs vs. Red Wings bloodbath before the night's over. The Chiefs take over around midfield.

9:40 PM - Thomas with about three on the run.

9:41 PM - Hill appears to move the sticks.

9:41 PM - Actually, he goes out of bounds three yards shy of the first down marker.

9:42 PM - Oakland calls a timeout. And Hill hauls it in to move the chins.

9:43 PM - Hill gets ... six, I think?

9:44 PM - Second and three.  The Chiefs get a holding call. 

9:45 PM - Second and 13. Hunt gets about seven.

9:45 PM - And there's the two minute warning.

9:48 PM - Chiefs have enough to move the chains.

9:50 PM - The third down pass is incomplete.

9:51 PM - The kick is good. Chiefs lead, 20-14.

Seriously. It never gets old.

9:55 PM - Cook goes out of bounds around the 50. The Raiders have a minute left in the half.

9:55 PM - Incomplete to Olawale.

9:55 PM - LOL, Michael Crabtree and Donald Penn almost got into a fight on the sidelines. This team is so ghetto. 

9:56 PM - Carr runs enough to move the sticks. And he goes out of bounds to stop the clock.

9:56 PM - Carr about to get sacked, so he throws it away. Flags are down. LOL, the Chiefs get hit with a 15-yard facemask penalty.

9:57 PM - Almost picked off by the Chiefs.

9:58 PM - Incomplete on an end zone shot to Patterson.

9:59 PM - Third and ten. About thirty seconds left. Cooper with about three yards. 

9:59 PM - Here comes Giorgio for a field goal attempt. Oakland calls a timeout.

10:01 PM - The kick is no good. Well, fuck that.

10:01 PM - There are a lot of stats to mull, but I'll let you figure that shit out on your own time. Now pardon me, I'm going to go walk a puppy and eat some fries, motherfuckers.

10:21 PM - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Washington with a four-yard run into the end zone!

10:22 PM - False start against the Raiders on the PAT. They re-kick. And it's good. The Raiders regain the lead, 21-20.

10:27 PM - SMITH GETS SACKED! Flags are down. Offsides against Khalil Mack.

10:27 PM - Second and five. Hunt with about three on the run.

10:28 PM - Third and three. Robinson gets enough to move the chains.

10:29 PM - Smith goes down behind the line again. He just barely recovered the bad snap.

10:30 PM - Third and 12. And there's Wilson with a touchdown. A 63-yard reception to paydirt.

10:31 PM - The PAT is good. It's 27-21, Chiefs.

10:35 PM - Cook with about 15 on the pitch and catch.

10:36 PM - Richard hit behind the line.

10:36 PM - The deep shot to Amari Cooper is almost intercepted.

10:37 PM - Richard is well short of the first. Raiders have to punt.

10:38 PM - Raiders have to re-punt. The K.C. return man goes down right around the 20. 

10:44 PM - We've had six lead changes in this game thus far. It's fourth and one for K.C.

10:45 PM - The Chiefs are challenging the spot of the ball.

10:47 PM - The refs say it's a first down.

10:47 PM - Hill hauls it down at the OAK 35. Now the Raiders are challenging whether or not Hunt maintained possession. 

10:50 PM - The refs rule it a catch. A 31-yard reception stands.

10:51 PM - Third and a long one coming up.

10:52 PM - Travis converts.

10:52 PM - Smith throws it away under pressure. Third and eight coming up.

10:53 PM - And the pass is broken up. K.C. has to settle for a field goal attempt.

10:54 PM - The kick is good. Kansas City leads it, 30-21.

10:58 PM - Washington with four on the run.

10:58 PM - Cooper with enough for a new set of downs.

10:59 PM - And that's the end of the third.

11:02 PM - The deep pass to Roberts is no good.

11:03 PM - Third down. And Cook wrestles to get beyond the first down marker.

11:04 PM - Crabtree can't hang on to the first down pass.

11:04 PM - And Richard picks up enough on the catch to move the chains. Nice movement from Carr scrambling there.

11:05 PM - And Cooper takes it inside the K.C. 10.

11:06 PM - That'll put Carr over 300 yards passing on the day. The first down deep shot to Walford is no good.

11:06 PM - Richard runs for three, maybe four.

11:07 PM - Third and six. Cook can't hold on to it int he end zone. Holy shit, a K.C. defender got away with holding like a motherfucker on that one.

11:08 PM - Raiders go for a field goal. It's right down the middle. It's 30-24, Chiefs.

11:12 PM - Holding against the Chiefs on the punt return.

11:13 PM - Second and five. Kelce converts.

11:13 PM - Hunt with  four yard run.

11:14 PM - He's got seven straight 100-yard rushing games now. That's an NFL rookie record.

11:14 PM - Second and six. ALMOST picked off by Karl Joseph.

11:15 PM - Hill hauls in the completion. First down, Kansas City. He's got 125 yards tonight. 

11:16 PM - Second and eight at the KC 40. That's another first down run for Hunt.

11:17 PM - The back is stopped at the line.

11:17 PM - Kelce with about five on the catch.

11:18 PM - Third and four. And Smith is incomplete on a blitz.

11:19 PM - Chiefs must punt. There is  flag on the kick.

11:20 PM - Holding against the Raiders. Oakland will begin their next drive inside their own 10.

Hell, let's watch that game-tying catch one more time, why don't we?

11:23 PM - Washington with about five on the run.

11:23 PM - Carr throws it away.

11:24 PM - Third and five. Cooper is three yards short of the first down marker.

11:25 PM - Raiders have to punt.

11:25 PM - And Hill goes down around the KC 30.

11:28 PM - Hunt loses a yard on the first down run.

11:28 PM - Third and five coming up.

11:29 PM - And SMITH GETS SACKED!

11:30 PM - Chiefs punt. The Raiders have 2:38 to win the game.

11:31 PM - Richard goes down around the OAK 10.

11:32 PM - Amari runs up to the OAK 30. And there's the two minute warning.

11:35 PM - The long shot to Cooper is no good.

11:35 PM - The pass to Holton is broken up. But there is a flag on the play.

11:36 PM - Pass interference on the Raiders. That makes it Second and 20.

11:37 PM - And Cooper takes it to the KC 41.

11:37 PM - Washington hit behind the line.

11:38 PM - One minute left. Second and 11. Washington drops the pass.

11:38 PM - Third and 11. The Chiefs call a timeout.

11:39 PM - Roberts can't hang on. 41 seconds left. Fourth and 11. Here's the ball game.

11:40 PM - THE RAIDERS CONVERT!

11:40 PM - The Raiders take their final timeout. Thirty seconds left. They are at the K.C. 28.

11:41 PM - Seth Roberts can't reel in the jump ball.

11:42 PM - The pass to Roberts is broken up again.

11:42 PM - Third and ten. TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! 

11:43 PM - JARED COOK WITH A 29-YARD RECEPTION WITH JUST 16 SECONDS LEFT IN THE GAME!

11:44 PM - He caught that fucker in triple coverage. The call on the field is a touchdown. It's under review. 

11:44 PM - Now they are saying Cook is down by contact at the one yard line. Eight seconds left on the clock.

11:46 PM - CRABTREE HAULS IT IN! BUT A FLAG IS DOWN.

11:46 PM - Pass interference against the Raiders. Fucking hell.

11:47 PM - Three seconds left. The Raiders at the ten. The Chiefs call a timeout.

11:47 PM - Here's the ball game. There is no catch. But flags are down. Holding on the defense. That means the Raiders get one more shot at the end zone.

11:49 PM - Kansas City takes their last timeout. The Raiders are at the five yard line.

11:50 PM - And I'm about to have a fucking heart attack. I feel it.

11:50 PM - Alright, here it is. The final play of the game. For real this time. I mean it.

11:50 PM - There's ANOTHER flag on the play.

11:50 PM - Holding on the defense. The Raiders get ANOTHER untimed down.

11:51 PM - Raiders at the three yard line. TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! MICHAEL CRABTREE WITH THE GAME-TYING TD!

11:52 PM - The touchdown is being reviewed. 

11:52 PM - The TD stands. Here come Giorgio for the PAT.

11:53 PM - IT IS GOOD. RAIDERS WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:55 PM - This game just saved the 2017 Raiders season. And if we see any game crazier or more dramatic this year, I'm going to need to go on Zoloft. 

11:58 PM - By the way, Derek Carr ended the game with 417 passing yards, while Amari Cooper closed out the game with 210. AC/DC is back ya'll. 

12:00 AM - Our final from Oakland? Raiders win the game three times en route to a thrilling 31-30 last-second victory over arch rivals Kansas City. 

12:01 AM - I fuckin' love football, with a passion. 

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