Showing posts with label Raiders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Raiders. Show all posts

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Sunday, October 6, 2019

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Sunday, September 29, 2019

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Sunday, September 22, 2019

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Monday, September 9, 2019

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Ten BOLD Predictions for the 2019-2020 NFL Season!

In which we give you the projected W-L record for EVERY team in the League … and spoilers a plenty about who’ll be playing in (and winning) Super Bowl LIV!

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

2017 NFL Power Rankings (Week 17 - PLUS PLAYOFFS PREDICTIONS!)

ESPN and Sports Illustrated can eat shit - these are the only pro football rankings anybody needs.


By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@JimboX
This Week's Episode:
"The Last Hurrah"
THE ELITES
#01
New England Patriots (13-3)
Season Point Differential: +162

Another year and yet another season in which the Patriots finish with the best overall record in pro football. For the record, they finished with the best overall record last year, too, and we all know what that eventually lead to. With a stellar offense and a defense that has improved by leaps and bounds over the last two months, it seems like Tom Terrific is practically destined for his sixth Super Bowl ring - but then again, we've said that before, only to get surprised come the first Sunday in February.
#02
Philadelphia Eagles (13-3)
Season Point Differential: +162

With most of their starters benched, the Eagles wrapped up their otherwise stellar regular season campaign with a 6-0 loss to Dallas. By virtue of their 13-3 record, the Eagles have locked up home field throughout the playoffs and a first round bye, but questions abound regarding the physical and mental durability of QB Nick Foles, who hasn't exactly looked like Joe Montana heading down the December stretch. Regardless, in two weeks' time we'll see whether Carson Wentz's back-up is destined to be the next Rocky Balboa - or the next Mitch Williams.
#03
Minnesota Vikings (13-3)
Season Point Differential: +130

After thumping Chicago 23-10 in their regular season closer, the Vikes have earned themselves the second overall seed in the NFC and a much-needed first round bye. The golden trifecta of Case Keenum, Latavius Murray and Adam Thielen has helped Minnesota put a lot of points on the board, but their real secret weapon is their potent D; allowing opponents just 192.4 yards per game, the Vikings have far and away the stingiest defense in the National Football League.
#04
Pittsburgh Steelers (13-3)
Season Point Differential: +98

The Steelers closed out their regular season with an astonishingly close 28-24 win over the now 0-16 Browns (not that Pittsburgh really had much of an incentive to win the game, of course.) With the second seed in the AFC locked down, the Steelers will receive a bye and host at least one playoffs skirmish at Heinz Field. Many analysts predict a second rendezvous with the Patriots in the AFC Championship Game as a foregone conclusion - only time will tell if Big Ben gets to avenge his infamous "fake spike interception" from a few weeks back.
#05
Los Angeles Rams (11-5)
Season Point Differential: +149

With pretty much all of their starters benched, the Rams fell 34-13 against the Niners in an utterly meaningless closing day game. Alas, expect Todd Gurley, Jared Goff and the rest of the crew to be suited up for this weekend's wild card home stand against the Falcons; the big question now is, will L.A. be able to get more than 30,000 people to show up for the city's first playoffs game in almost a quarter century?
#06
New Orleans Saints (11-5)
Season Point Differential: +122

 A last second 31-24 loss to Tampa Bay bumped New Orleans out of the third seed, which means the Saints will now host NFC South rivals Carolina during the first week of the playoffs. Thankfully for the boys in black and gold, New Orleans has played quite well against the Panthers so far this season. They've already beaten Cam Newton and pals twice - they notched up a 34-13 win on Sept. 24 and a 31-21 win on Dec. 3.
#07
Carolina Panthers (11-5)
Season Point Differential: +36

 In the wake of a 22-10 loss to the Falcons, not only do the Panthers cede the NFC South crown to New Orleans, they lose a pivotal home game in the playoffs against the Saints this weekend. By the way, the Panthers are 0-2 against New Orleans in the regular season - is there really any reason to believe they'll find a way to flip the script in the post-season?
#08
Jacksonville Jaguars (10-6)
Season Point Differential: +149

 The Jags fell 15-10 against the Titans in Week 17, in a game Jacksonville was obviously not that interested in winning.  Considering the Jags had already locked up the third seed in the AFC, I suppose there was no use putting that much effort in the showing. And for their obvious lack of giving a shit, they've been awarded a playoffs home game against a team with a minus 64 season points differential who just barely Flair flopped into the postseason. The lesson here, kids? Don't ever try, and very good things will inevitably come your way.
Shit - they're already making the kid practice his mea culpa for why the team gets bounced in the second round.

THE PLAYOFFS HOPEFULS
#09
Kansas City Chiefs (10-6)
Season Point Differential: +76

 Just barely getting past the Broncos with Patrick Mahones at QB in Week 17, don't expect to see much of anybody not named "Alex Smith" behind center for the Chiefs when they host the Titans this Saturday. Kansas City has to be considered a huge favorite heading into the showdown; the last time the Chiefs played the Titans (last August), Kansas City thumped 'em to the tune of 30-6.
#10
Atlanta Falcons (10-6)
Season Point Differential: +38

 The Falcons did what they needed to do and triumphed over Carolina last Sunday, thus securing them the sixth and final seed in the NFC side of the playoffs. Now Atlanta travels to Los Angeles for a Saturday night showdown with the Rams - as of midweek, Las Vegas has Matt Ryan and amigos listed as +6 underdogs.
#11
Baltimore Ravens (9-7)
Season Point Differential: +92

With Cincinnati roaring back to topple them 31-27, not only did Baltimore close the season with a humiliating defeat, they managed to screw themselves out of a postseason appearance. Still, considering the team finished the year with a 9-7 record, there probably won't be that many radical changes for the Ravens in the offseason ... or, it at least seems at the moment.
#12
Los Angeles Chargers (9-7)
Season Point Differential: +83

 Despite slapping the shit outta' the Raiders 30-10 in Week 17, the playoffs math worked against L.A., as Tennessee and Buffalo both won while Baltimore lost, thus setting into motion a weird series of events that effectively factored the Chargers out of a postseason berth. Considering the team's low, low expectations at the beginning of the season, one can't help but consider their 9-7 finish a major surprise - if not a sign that even better things are to come for the uprooted franchise in 2018.
#13
Detroit Lions (9-7)
Season Point Differential: +34

 The Lions have been out of the playoffs hunt since last week, but they still brought their A-game against the Packers in their regular season finale. Alas, despite chalking up a dominant 35-11 win over Green Bay, the Lions' upper brass nonetheless thought it was time to shit can head coach Jim Caldwell - this, despite leading the Lions to winning records in three out of the last four seasons. Surely, such won't wind up blowing up in the teams' face as they slowly begin to spiral back into mediocrity in his absence next season, right?
#14
Seattle Seahawks (9-7)
Season Point Differential: +34

 By virtue of the Falcons beating the Panthers, Seattle was mathematically eliminated from the playoffs even before they dropped last Sunday's game to Arizona 26-24. Considering the talent the Seahawks have on both sides of the ball, it's pretty hard to consider this year anything other than a huge disappointment. Alas, we'll just have to wait until next September to see if the team rebounds or regresses.
#15
Dallas Cowboys (9-7)
Season Point Differential: +22

The Cowboys scored a 6-0 victory over the Eagles in their regular season finale - primarily, because virtually every impact player for Philadelphia was taking a breather. Despite their 9-7 record, the Cowboys yet again find themselves watching January football from their living rooms instead of the sidelines. If you were wondering just how important Ezekiel Elliott was to this team as a whole, well - there's your answer right there.
#16
Tennessee Titans (9-7)
Season Point Differential: -22

 With a 15-10 win over a Jaguars team that clearly wasn't giving any shits about anything, the Titans chalked up the fifth overall seed in the AFC, which puts them on a collision course with the Chiefs this Saturday afternoon. Las Vegas, obviously, doesn't have a whole lot of faith in Marcus Mariota and them, though; as of mid-week, the insider line has the Titans listed as a +8 road dog heading into the K.C. field trip.
More like "Buffal-HO," am I right?

THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK

#17
Buffalo Bills (9-7)
Season Point Differential: -57

 An aberrant number of freaky things had to transpire for the Bills to get in the playoffs, but in a direct affront to probability as a mathematics-based science, every last one of them happened and now Buffalo is playing postseason football for the first time in 17 years. Not that anyone expects T-Mobile and company to hang around that long; Las Vegas lists Buffalo as an +8.5 underdog heading into their road game against Jacksonville Sunday.
#18
Arizona Cardinals (8-8)
Season Point Differential: -66

 Considering how shitty the Cards have looked throughout the season, the fact they finished their 2018 campaign at .500 is actually kinda' surprising. Obviously, the team is in total rebuild mode heading into the offseason. Priority number one? Finding a much-needed replacement for long-time QB Carson Palmer, who, after this disastrous season, has about as much shelf life left as decorative protective solar glasses.
#19
Washington Redskins (7-9)
Season Point Differential: -46

 After a ho-hum 7-9 season, the big question is whether or not Kirk Cousins will stay with the Skins next year or leave for greener pastures. If Washington doesn't resign him, common sense would dictate their first draft priority is a new QB - think the top-level execs might roll the dice on Lamar Jackson, or maybe even Mason Rudolph?
#20
Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)
Season Point Differential: -59

 Sunday's come from behind win over Baltimore might make the Bengals' faithful feel good about themselves for awhile, but that still can't mask the fact this franchise has some serious problems moving forward. Andy Dalton's probably a lock to stay, but both the rushing and receiving corps need a desperate, dire shot of adrenaline. Expect Cincinnati to roll the dice on a big name halfback come draft time - Kerryon Johnson or one of them Georgia boys, most likely.
#21
Green Bay Packers (7-9)
Season Point Differential: -64

 Yikes. Even with Aaron Rodgers returning from injury, the Packers still managed to conclude their once-promising 2017 campaign with three consecutive losses, including last Sunday's 35-11 thumpin' from Detroit. So, was this a one-year blip or a serious sign that the mighty is about to fall big time this upcoming autumn?
#22
San Francisco 49ers (6-10)
Season Point Differential: -52

 After an 0-9 start, the Niners totally reversed course, finishing the second half of the season with a stellar 6-1 record. Indeed, ever since Jimmy Garoppolo became San Fran's starter, they've been on a 5-0 win streak; with a retooled offense and revamped defense cobbled together in the offseason, there's a strong chance the Niners could continue their winning ways LONG into the 2018 season.
#23
Oakland Raiders (6-10)
Season Point Differential: -72

To say the Raiders' 2017 season has been a clusterfuck of biblical proportions would be an understatement. Both Oakland's offense and defense took big steps backwards this season, thus instigating the firing of head coach Jack Del Rio, who almost certainly will be replaced by former Raiders HC Jon Gruden - which, in turn, makes this Child's Play 2 poster all the more prophetic in hindsight.
#24
Miami Dolphins (6-10)
Season Point Differential: -112

 Jay Cutler, to the shock of all carbon-based lifeforms on the planet, didn't suck out loud this season. Alas, despite literally living out of a hotel room for the entire season, odds are Smokin' Joe won't be wearing orange and teal come next season. Which, naturally, raises the question - will Miami try to find their next quarterback through the draft, or some frugal offseason free agent shopping?
Just remember: the giant shit this elephant took won just as many NFL games as the Browns this season.

ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE DRAFT
#25
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-11)
Season Point Differential: -47

 Expectations were sky high for the Bucs, with many analysts predicting them to run away with the NFC South title. Well, in the wake of a disastrous 5-11 campaign, now they're the only team in the NFC South not participating in this year's playoffs. Needless to say, it'll be interesting seeing what offseason moves this team makes - or, in the case of one Jameis Winston - don't make. 
#26
Chicago Bears (5-11)
Season Point Differential: -56

 Mitch "The Bitch" Trubisky had a rookie season to forget - he wrapped up his freshman NFL year with 2,193 yards, a 59.4 percent completion rate and a seven-to-seven TD-to-INT split. At least back Jordan Howard looked great all year-long - with 1,122 yards and nine touchdowns, he finished the regular season as the League's sixth most productive rusher.
#27
New York Jets (5-11)
Season Point Differential: -84

 Considering many analysts predicted the Jets to be the worst team in the NFL at the beginning of the season, their 5-11 final record actually makes them stand out as overachievers compared to the likes of the Giants and the Browns. Still, this is a team that needs to rebuild from the ground up at virtually every position; quarterbacks, running backs, receivers, defense - shit, it's gonna' be awhile before this team gets all the pieces they need to be truly competitive.
#28
Denver Broncos (5-11)
Season Point Differential: -93

 Holy shit, was it amazing watching the Broncos shit the bed all season-long. Just two years removed from a freakin' Super Bowl victory, Denver struggled all season long, eventually going an amazing 2-10 in their final 12 games of the year. And with Trevor Siemian, Paxton Lynch and Brock goddamn Osweiler on the depth chart, don't expect the post-Peyton quarterback woes to end anytime soon.
#29
Houston Texans (4-12)
Season Point Differential: -98

 Talk about a tragedy - had DeShaun Watson not tore his ACL in practice, who knows how much better the Texans would've been? Shit, there's a strong chance that not only would they have finished with a winning record, they may have even won the AFC South. Aye, much like the prospects of what a 2016 Raiders squad with a healthy Derek Carr could've done in last year's postseason, I guess this is one of those things we'll just have to guess about for all eternity.
#30
Indianapolis Colts (4-12)
Season Point Differential: -141

Andrew Luck didn't play a single game all year round and ex-Pat Jacoby Brissett was pretty much the Bizarro Jimmy Garoppolo, wrapping up the year with a 13-to-7 TD-to-INT ratio and the dubious distinction of being the most sacked quarterback in the League. Unsurprisingly, head coach Chuck Pagano got shit canned immediately after the final game of the regular season; I hate to be a pessimist, but with all the things going awry in Indy these days, something tells me making one coaching change won't be enough to put out the raging dumpster fire ... 
#31
New York Giants (3-13)
Season Point Differential: -142

 Well, what more can be said about this absolute train wreck of a season? Believe it or not, many experts predicted the Giants to win the NFC East, yet here we are, trying to dissect the reason why a team with so much upswing wound up with the second worst record in pro football. And no, you can't blame it all on OBJ getting hurt, either ... 
#32
Cleveland Browns (0-16)
Season Point Differential: -176

 THEY DID IT! Against all odds, even with a final game against a clearly disinterested second string-studded Pittsburgh Steelers squad, the Browns STILL managed to finish the '18 campaign with a grand total of zero wins. Well, if there's an upside to the abysmal season, I suppose it's the fact the Browns will receive both the first and fourth overall picks in next year's draft. Although at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if General Manager John Dorsey uses the first pick to select a handgun, and the fourth overall to draft a single bullet.

And I suppose it's only fitting that I wrapped up this 17-week series with my predictions for the remainder of the playoffs. 

 In the wildcard round I've got the Chiefs bumping off the Titans, The Jaguars dispatching the Bills, the Rams knocking off the Falcons and the Saints besting the Panthers.

 In the divisional round, I have the Patriots exacting revenge for their Week 1 home loss and defeating the Chiefs, the Steelers just barely getting past the Jags in overtime, the Vikings bumping off the Rams and the Saints upsetting the Eagles on the road. 

 For the AFC Conference title game I've got the Patriots outlasting the Steelers and in the NFC Conference championship shindig I've got the Saints shocking the Vikes on their home turf. And in Super Bowl 52, I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict Tom Brady becoming the first player to ever win SIX Super Bowl rings as the Patriots sneak by the Saints by the skin of their teeth up there in Minneapolis in a 34-31 classic.

 Well, that's all she wrote for the 2017-18 NFL season. We laughed, we cried, we protested, we cheap shotted motherfuckers right in the head and we all learned to love goofy, choreographed touchdown celebrations again. 

 Aye - it truly was the best of times and worst of times simultaneously, wasn't it?

Sunday, December 17, 2017

LIVE(ish) Play-By-Play Coverage From Week 15's Raiders vs. Cowboys Game!

This Week's Episode:
"Seriously ... win or GTFO"


By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@Jimbo X

It's It's that time of year again, folks! As is the tradition here at The Internet Is In America, we're going to do our damnedest to give you LIVE play-by-play coverage of every single Oakland Raiders game of the season, including tonight's homestand against Dallas. Join us LIVE on Sunday, Dec. 17 for our patented possession-by-possession coverage of week 15's Raiders vs. Cowboys game, with the festivities beginning at 8 p.m. Eastern time. There'll be updates every commercial break, so be sure to bookmark this shit prior to kickoff. And, as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#SilverAndBlackLivesMatter)

 11:43 a.m. - Tonight's game is a primetime affair that will be starting around 8:30 P.M. 

 11:44 a.m. - The Raiders are 6-7 and have to run the table and if they want even an outside shot of making the playoffs. The Cowboys are 7-6 and have to run the table and then get some help to sneak their way into the postseason. So, yeah, both of these teams are pretty much fighting for their livelihoods here, with the loser essentially eliminated from the playoffs race.

 11:46 a.m. - For the Raiders, Amari Cooper and Clive Walford are both scratches. Cory James and Obi Melifonwu are on the I.R., and David Amerson is doubtful.

 11:47 a.m. - The Cowboys will be without Justin Durant and Brice Butler. James Hanna, Tyron Smith and La'el Collins are all listed as questionable. And, of course, Ezekiel Elliot is still suspended. 

 11:48 a.m. - Vegas has the Cowboys listed as -3 favorites, with the over/under set at 46.5. Oddly enough, ESPN's Football Power Index gives the Raiders a 52 percent chance to win tonight's homestand.

 11:50 a.m. - And here are the relevant season offensive and defensive stats:

11:52 a.m. - Anyhoo, we'll be seeing you again closer to gametime. Enjoy your Sunday, kids, and I'll be catching you on the other side around 8 p.m. Eastern.

 8:25 p.m. - So is that Carrie Underwood doing the opening Sunday Night Football theme? Man, that one country musing singing asshole is crazy as shit to leave her for Gwen Stefani. 

 8:26 p.m. - Per Chris Collinsworth, the biggest problem with the Raiders this season is that they "don't know who they are." Which is a funny way of saying "the secondary is shit and our receivers are allergic to holding onto the ball."

 8:32 p.m. - Mario Edwards, Jr. is out for the Raiders, too. The Cowboys are getting the ball first.

 8:32 p.m. - Cowboys starting at their own 25 yard line.

 8:33 p.m. - Williams holds onto the ball to move the chains.

 8:34 p.m. - Morris runs it for about five yards up the gut.

 8:34 p.m. - There's Williams with another first down reception. But a flag is down. It's pass interference against Dallas.

 8:35 p.m. - Second and 15. Morris finds a hole and gets a 16-yard gain for a new set of downs.

 8:36 p.m. - Witten is wide open and he makes the catch for 12.

 8:36 p.m. - Morris goes down around the line of scrimmage.

 8:37 p.m. - Prescott's under pressure and the pass to Witten is no good.

 8:38 p.m. - Third and 10. INTERCEPTED BY SEAN SMITH!

 8:41 p.m. - Marshawn runs for about nine on first down.

 8:41 p.m. - Marshawn loses three on second down.

 8:42 p.m. - Third and five. The pass to Crabtree is no good. And just like that - the Raiders have to punt it away.

 8:43 p.m. - The punt lands around the DAL 30.

 8:46 p.m. - Morris runs for about seven.

 8:46 p.m. - Second and four. Brown hauls it in to move the sticks.

 8:47 p.m. - Prescott scrambles and slides for close to a five yard gain.

 8:47 p.m. - The fullback pushes it to the OAK 41 for another set of downs.

 8:48 p.m. - Morris takes it inside the OAK 30 on a 12-yard run. He is killing it up the gut tonight.

 8:49 p.m. - And Morrow drops Morris behind the line for a loss of three yards.

 8:49 p.m. - Second and 13. Smith gets pushed out of bounds after a five yard reception.

 8:50 p.m. - Third and 8. Morrow chases Prescott down and Dak has to dump it. Fourth down approaches.

 8:51 p.m. - Dallas goes for a 45-yard field goal attempt. It's good. Dallas leads it, 3-0, with five minutes left in the first quarter.

 8:55 p.m. - Raiders start this next drive at their own 25. 

 8:56 p.m. - Neutral zone infraction against Dallas gives the Raiders five free yards.

 8:56 p.m. - Jared Cook is very, very close to a first down haul.

 8:56 p.m. - Second and one. Lynch goes down two yards behind the line of scrimmage. Flags are down.

 8:57 p.m. - Donald Penn is down, and he looks severely injured.

 9:00 p.m. - Third and three. Michael Crabtree drops it. Vadal Alexander is filling in the leftside gap for Penn.

 9:02 p.m. - Raiders punt it away.
This guy's face sums up the season about as well as any numbers could.

 9:03 p.m. - Rod Smith gets hit right at the line on first down.

 9:04 p.m. - Hannah catches it down at the OAK 20. A 31-yard pick-up.

 9:06 p.m. - Smith gets stuffed at the line.

 9:07 p.m. - Play action pass, and the Cowboys take it inside the OAK 5. And that's the end of the first.

 9:10 p.m. - Prescott scrambles and gets tackled at the four yard line.

 9:10 p.m. - Second and goal. And Sean Smith gets flagged for pass interference.

 9:11 p.m. - Dallas gets a new set of downs at the OAK 1.

 9:11 p.m. - And Smith barrels into the end zone for a touchdown.

 9:12 p.m. - The XP is good. With 14 minutes left in the second quarter, the Cowboys lead it 10-0.

 9:15 p.m. - Patterson has a good punt return, but flags are down.

 9:16 p.m. - Yep, it's two holding calls against the Raiders.

 9:17 p.m. - Lynch gets maybe a yard on the run. Another flag is down.

 9:17 p.m. - Holding against the Raiders.

 9:18 p.m. - First and 15. ANOTHER FLAG IS DOWN.

 9:18 p.m. - False start against Oakland. I'm pretty sure that puts them at their own 1 yard line now.

 9:19 p.m. - Richard hauls it in at the OAK 12.

 9:19 p.m. - Second and seven. The deep shot to Crabtree downfield in triple coverage is no good. Shit, we're lucky that one wasn't picked off.

 9:20 p.m. - Third and seven. And Carr scrambles and slides to FINALLY get this offense a first down.

 9:21 p.m. - Carr tosses the ball to the ground because everybody's covered.

 9:22 p.m. - Second and 10. Lynch runs for about five yards.

 9:22 p.m. - Third and five. Crabtree catches the ball, fumbles it, and thankfully, recovers the pigskin for a few extra yards.

 9:23 p.m. - Patterson hit for a four-yard loss on an end-around.

 9:24 p.m. - Second and 14. Lynch with about five on a pitch and catch.

 9:25 p.m. - Third and eight. Crabtree hauls it in, but he looks like he's a yard short of the first down marker.

 9:25 p.m. - Fourth and one, and King is out to punt. The Cowboys fair catch it at their own 10.

 9:29 p.m. - Second and 10. Morris goes down behind the line for a one yard loss.

 9:30 p.m. - Third and 11. Mack almost sacks Prescott in the end zone and Dak throws it away. And the Raiders' D gets hit with a holding call.

 9:31 p.m. - First and 10 for Dallas. The Raiders take a timeout.

 9:32 p.m. - MACK SACKS PRESCOTT!

 9:33 p.m. - Second and 15. Smith gets a very short gain on the run.

 9:34 p.m. - Third and 12. And Witten hauls in the first down pass on a 13-yard pick up.

 9:34 p.m. - Morris goes down at the line.

 9:35 p.m. - Second and 10. Bowman drags down Morris after a one-yard gain.

 9:36 p.m. - Third and nine. The pass is ALMOST intercepted by T.J. Carrie, but he can't hold on to it.

 9:36 p.m. - Dallas punts. The Raiders fair catch it at their on 30 with about three minutes left in the second.

 9:40 p.m. - Lynch runs for nine on first down.

 9:40 p.m. - Second and one. Lynch gets hit right at the line.

 9:40 p.m. - Third and one. Looks like Carr has enough on a QB sneak to move the chains.

 9:44 p.m. - A deep shot to Crabtree falls short. A flag is down. It's offsides against Dallas.

 9:44 p.m. - First and five. Lynch takes it to the DAL 45.

 9:45 p.m. - Carr hits Crabtree for a nine yard gain.

 9:45 p.m. - Second and 1 with 90 seconds left.

 9:46 p.m. - Washington appears to have enough to convert.

 9:46 p.m. - Roberts with a five yard gain, but he doesn't get out of bounds.

 9:47 p.m. - Washington takes it to the DAL 30. And the Raiders call a timeout.

 9:49 p.m. - Carr is hit as he's thrown and the pass to Patterson is incomplete.

 9:50 p.m. - Second and 10 with 21 seconds left in the half.

 9:51 p.m. - Cook takes it to the DAL 11. The Raiders take their last timeout of the half.

 9:52 p.m. - Fourteen seconds left. COOK HAULS IN THE TOUCHDOWN!

 9:52 pm. - Oh fuck, there's a flag down. Pass interference against the Raiders for negative ten yards.

9:52 p.m. - Carr getting chased down in the backfield. He tosses it out of bounds with three seconds left on the clock.

 9:54 p.m. - Here comes Giorgio. And it's no fucking good.
So you're saying we've got a chance, huh?

9:54 p.m. - That's the end of the second quarter, kids. Dallas leads it 10-0, but the Raiders will get the ball back to begin the third.

 9:56 p.m. - Time to walk a puppy. See you back here in about 20, folks.

 10:08 p.m. - Patterson appears to have a 100 yard kickoff return, but two flags are down in the backfield.

 10:10 p.m. - Of course it's against Oakland. So they get pinned back to their own 10.

 10:10 p.m. - Lynch with a 12 yard run. Well, that's a positive, at least.

 10:10 p.m. - LOL at Collinsworth talking about the Raiders having a shitty play-action game. And sure enough, Lynch gets gobbled up behind the line of scrimmage as soon as he says it.

 10:11 p.m. - Second and 12. Lynch with an eight yard catch.

 10:12 p.m. - Third and four. Flags are down before the line is snapped. False start against the Raiders.

 10:13 p.m. - Third and nine. And Washington fights his way to move the sticks.

 10:13 p.m. - Damn, do I LOVE the Madden Cam. I wish that was the default camera POV the whole game.

 10:14 p.m. - Second and eight. Lynch gets a yard, maybe two on the run up the gut.

 10:15 p.m. - Third and six. And Carr runs for 32 yards downfield. Whew!

 10:16 p.m. - Play action. Crabtree doesn't hold on to the pigskin.

 10:16 p.m. - Second and 10 at the DAL 20. Lynch barrels it inside the DAL 5. A 19 yard gain.

 10:17 p.m. - First and goal at the DAL 2. TOUCHDOWN MICHAEL CRABTREE! They went 90 yards on 11 plays and ate up almost seven minutes of gametime.

 10:18 p.m. - The XP is good. It's 10-7, Dallas, with eight minutes left in the third quarter.

 10:21 p.m. - The Dallas return man gets waylaid at the Cowboys' 15.

 10:21 p.m. - Morris gets a yard. Maybe.

 10:22 p.m. - Second and nine. Another incompletion.

 10:23 p.m. - Third and nine. SEAN SMITH INTERCEPTS THE BALL AND RETURNS IT FOR A TD!

 10:23 p.m. - Never mind. The INT stands, but Smith is ruled down by contact back at the OAK 22. 

 10:26 p.m. - Incomplete to Crabtree in the end zone.

 10:27 p.m. - Second and 10. Lynch can't get beyond the line of scrimmage.

 10:28 p.m. - Third and nine. The pass to Washington is dropped.

 10:29 p.m. - Giorgio is out for the game-tying field goal.

 10:30 p.m. - It's a 39-yarder. And it's good. We've got a tied ball game with about six minutes left in the third.

 10:32 p.m. - Cowboys take over at their own 25. Morris gets two on the first down run.

 10:33 p.m. - Second and eight. PRESCOTT GETS SACKED BY MACK AGAIN!

 10:34 p.m. - Third and 11. And Beasley can't hold on to the rock. Dallas must punt.

 10:35 p.m. - And Chris Jones takes it to the DAL 48 on a fake punt. Well, don't they beat all.

 10:35 p.m. - And the follow-up flea flicker results in an incomplete deep downfield.

 10:36 p.m. - Second and 10. Prescott's throw to Witten is way underthrown. A flag is down.

 10:37 p.m. - Pass interference against the Raiders.

 10:38 p.m. - Witten takes it to the OAK 40.

 10:38 p.m. - Second and three. Smith runs it up the gut to convert.

 10:39 p.m. - The pass to Bryant is incomplete. Flags are down.

 10:39 p.m. - Holding against the Cowboys puts 'em back ten yards.

 10:40 p.m. - First and 20. Wait - how the fuck is it first and goal now? My feed just skipped ahead two whole minutes!

 10:41 p.m. - And Prescott runs into the end zone for a rushing score. They went 75 yards on 11 plays.

 10:42 p.m. - And the XP is good. Dallas regain the lead, 17-0, with a minute left in the third.

 10:45 p.m. - And Patterson runs all the way up to midfield before fumbling the ball out of bounds. That means the Raiders start their next drive at their own 48.

 10:48 p.m. - The first down pass is incomplete to Cook.

 10:49 p.m. - Second and 10. Crabtree goes nowhere after hauling in a short catch. And that's all she wrote for the third quarter.

 10:52 p.m. - Third and nine. AND ROBERTS HOLDS ON TO IT AFTER A DEFLECTION FOR A 28-YARD GAIN!

 10:53 p.m. - Dallas is challenging whether or not Roberts maintained possession.

 10:56 p.m. - THE CALL STANDS AND DALLAS LOSES A TIMEOUT.

 10:56 p.m. - Lynch rumbles for four yards.

 10:56 p.m. - Second and six. Lee Smith gets three yards.

 10:57 p.m. - Third and three. And Crabtree hauls it in to move the sticks.

 10:58 p.m. - False start against the Raiders makes it first and 15.

 10:59 p.m. - Lynch breaks a tackle and gets about six yards.

 11:00 p.m. - Second and 10. Shit, Roberts ALMOST had the TD.

 11:00 p.m. - Flags are down. It's illegal contact against the Cowboys. The Raiders get an automatic first down.

 11:01 p.m. - First and goal at the DAL 8. The end zone shot to Crabtree is way overthrown.

 11:02 p.m. - Second and goal. Lynch rumbles down to the DAL 2.

 11:02 p.m. - Third and goal. Holy shit, what a time for the feed to freeze up.
...when your season is literally lost by the width of a goddamn index card.

11:04 p.m. - TOUCHDOWN MICHAEL CRABTREE! The XP is good, and it's all knotted up again, 17-17.

 11:05 p.m. - Dallas takes over at their own 25.

 11:07 p.m. - Bryant loses four yards on a terrible end-around attempt.

 11:08 p.m. - Second and 14. Prescott runs for eight, but flags are down in the backfield.

 11:09 p.m. - A ten yard holding call against Dallas.

 11:09 p.m. - Second and 24. Smith gets - eight, I guess?

 11:10 p.m. - Third and 18. Beasley catches it about two yards shy of the first down marker.

 11:10 p.m. - Cowboys punt. The ball goes out of bounds around the OAK 20. Flags are down.

 11:11 p.m. - Ten yard holding penalty against the Raiders.

 11:14 p.m. - Carr almost sacked, but he manages to target Lynch for a short gain.

 11:15 p.m. - Second and eight. Lynch runs for about four.

 11:15 p.m. - Third and four. Cook drops what would've been a first down haul. Raiders have to punt.

 11:16 p.m. - The Cowboys' return man goes out of bounds near the DAL 30.

 11:20 p.m. - The pass to Bryant is no good.

 11:20 p.m. - Second and 10. Morris gets hit behind the line.

 11:20 p.m. - Third and 10. Witten looks like he may have picked up the first down.

 11:21 p.m. - Yep, it's ruled a first down. Now the Raiders are challenging the spot of the ball.

 11:22 p.m. - Looks like Witten was half a yard short on the replay.

 11:23 p.m. - The call on the field is overturned. It's fourth down and half a yard for the Cowboys.

 11:24 p.m. - Prescott goes for a sneak. He may have come up short.

 11:25 p.m. - The referees used an index card to measure the spot. The refs say they got the first down by like a centimeter.

 11:26 p.m. - Cowboys at midfield. Morris runs for two.

 11:27 p.m. - Second and eight. Bryant hauls the catch inside the OAK 10.

 11:29 p.m. - Second and goal. And that's the two minute warning.

 11:32 p.m. - Morris is half a yard short. Raiders call a timeout.

 11:33 p.m. - Third and goal. And Morris is stopped four inches shy of end zone.

 11:34 p.m. - Raiders take their second timeout.

 11:34 p.m. - Fourth and goal. The Cowboys come out for a field goal.

 11:34 p.m. - The kick is good. Dallas takes back the lead, 20-17, with 1:44 left in regulation.

 11:35 p.m. - Patterson goes out around the OAK 30. Flags are down.

 11:37 p.m. - It's against the Raiders. That costs them 10 yards.

 11:37 p.m. - The pass to Roberts is batted away.

 11:38 p.m. - Roberts holds on to it at the OAK 30. A 19-yard gain.

 11:39 p.m. - The pass to Crabtree is no good.

 11:39 p.m. - Crabtree is overthrown.
How long is the distance between utter despair and the will to live? Three feet, apparently.

11:40 p.m. - Third and 10. 1:05 left on the clock. Almost picked off.

 11:40 p.m. - Fourth and 10. This is the season, kids.

 11:40 p.m. - The deep shot to Crabtree is no good but FLAGS ARE EVERYWHERE.

 11:41 p.m. - PASS INTERFERENCE AGAINST DALLAS. That puts the Raiders at the Dallas 10. That gave them 55 free yards.

 11:42 p.m. - Second and three. It's knocked out of Crabtree's hands. 

 11:43 p.m. - Dallas take an injury timeout.

 11:44 p.m. - Third and three. Thirty-nine seconds left.

 11:44 p.m. - Carr scrambles, he goes down at the one ... and then he fumbles out of the endzone for a goddamn touchback.

 11:46 p.m. - It's being reviewed. The touchback is confirmed. And the Cowboys will run out the clock.

 11:49 p.m. - The Cowboys win 20-17. The Raiders fall to 6-8, and their season is officially over, two games early.

11:50 p.m. - See you next year, Raiders' faithful. Here's hoping 2018 is a damn sight better than 2017.

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