LIVE Play-By-Play From Week 4's Raiders vs. Ravens Game!

Because 3-1 is a lot better than 2-2, that's why.

By: Jimbo X

JimboXAmerican@gmail.com

@Jimbo__X

Join The Internet Is In America on Sunday, Oct. 02, for our LIVE play-by-play (well, more like possession-by-possession, but that shit is deathly for SEO) coverage of week 4's Raiders vs. Ravens game. The shenanigans begin at noon eastern time (with updates every commercial break) so be sure to bookmark this shit before kickoff. And as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#silverandblacklivesmatter)...

11:37 a.m. - OK, you know the drill by now. The girlfriend wants to hit up the local Sunday Kroger sales, and somebody has to lug the half-priced Coca Colas out. So yeah, I might be back by 1 p.m., and I might not. 

11:39 a.m. - Menelik Watson, Austin Howard and Nate Allen are all out for the Raiders. Taiwan Jones and Rodney Hudson are questionable. 

11:40: a.m. - For the Ravens, Kenneth Dixon, Ronnie Stanley and Sheldon Price are all listed as doubtful. Alex Lewis and John Urschel are both questionable. 

11:41 a.m. - The Ravens are four point favorites and the over/under is set at under 46. Well, considering how last year's regular season match-up turned out between these two teams, I'd be suspicious of Vegas' reasoning on both accounts.

1:01 p.m. - Kickoff coming up in a few.

1:02 p.m. - Terrence West starting as halfback for Baltimore. Ravens have elected to kick the ball to Oakland.

1:03 p.m. - Jalen Richard takes it up to the OAK 30.

1:04 p.m. - Murray gets one on the run.

1:05 p.m. - Amari Cooper gets about five on a quick hit and run.

1:05 p.m. - Third and four. Incomplete to Crabtree. Here comes the Raiders punting unit.

1:06 p.m. - Ravens start at their own 20. It's a big pick up for Wallace.

1:07 p.m. - First and 10. BAL gets maybe a yard on the run.

1:08 p.m. - Second and eight. Nelson scoop slams West shy of the first down markers. And it's a holding call against BAL. 

1:08 p.m. - Second and 18. The back gets gobbled up behind the line. 

1:09 p.m. - Third and 18. The Ravens pick up the new set of downs, but it's offensive pass interference against BAL. There goes the 24-yard gain...

1:10 p.m. - Third and 28. The fullback is dropped well short of the first down sticks.

1:11 p.m. - Baltimore punts. Richard takes it to the OAK 31.

1:13 p.m. - Cooper gets about three on first down.

1:14 p.m. - Second and seven. Murray runs it up the gut.

1:14 p.m. - Third and four. Incomplete pass. 

1:15 p.m. - Oakland punts. Ravens will take over from within their own 10.

1:17 p.m. - Marquette King does the the Ray Lewis dance at midfield. Sean Smith gets flagged for holding.

1:19 p.m. - Wallace gets eight on the play.

1:20 p.m. - False start puts BAL five yards back.

1:20 p.m. - Second and six. Nothing going on that play.

1:20 p.m. - Third and four. And the Ravens can't make it past the first down marker. Baltimore has to punt.

1:21 p.m. - Richard stopped at the OAK 25.

1:23 p.m. - False start against the Raiders makes it first and 15.

1:24 p.m. - Roberts gets about five. Amari Cooper gets called on pass interference. 

1:25 p.m. - First and 25. Washington gets about 8.

1:26 p.m. - Second and 17. Richard runs it up the gut for six.

1:27 p.m. - Third and 11. And Cooper reels it in for the first. 

1:27 p.m. - OAK, obviously, declines the defensive holding flag.

1:27 p.m. - First and 10. Murray takes it to the OAK 42.

1:28 p.m. - Second and seven. Wolford picks up a couple.

1:28 p.m. - Third and one. It is short. 

1:30 p.m. - Marquette punts. And he traps the Ravens within their own 10 yet again.

1:32 p.m. - The back is crushed at the line.

1:33 p.m. - Second and nine. Flacco chased in the end zone and he throws it away.

1:34 p.m. - Third and nine. And DJ Hayden breaks up what would have been a first down for Baltimore. Ravens gotta' punt.

1:35 p.m. - And Richard takes it all the way to the Ravens' 10 yard line!

1:35 p.m. - A good 47 yard run from Richard. 

1:36 p.m. - First and goal. TOUCHDOWN SETH ROBERTS!

1:36 p.m. - A ten yard strike from Derek Carr puts the Raiders on the board first. Sea-bass is automatic. Raiders lead it, 7-0. 

1:39 p.m. -  Janikowski kicks it away. Hester takes it all the way into OAK territory. A 60-yard return.

1:40 p.m. - The back is chased out of bounds.

1:40 p.m. - Second and seven. Ravens run it up the gut.

1:41 p.m. - Third and three. Steve Smith takes it to the OAK 20.

1:42 p.m. - And that's the end of the first quarter.

1:43 p.m. - First and 10. The Ravens take it to the OAK 18.

1:44 p.m. - Second and 5. And Baltimore moves it past the first down markers.

1:45 p.m. - Smith stopped a little beyond the OAK 10.

1:46 p.m. - Second and 5. Flacco lobs a floater to nobody in the end zone.

1:46 p.m. - Third and five. Incomplete in the end zone. Offensive holding penalty is declined. Fourth down. Khalil Mack almost flattened him.

1:47 p.m. - And Tucker is on point. The field goal makes it a 7-3 game, Raiders still leading.

1:50 p.m. - Richard takes it to the OAK 20.

1:51 p.m. - Flag on the play. 15 yard penalty against the Ravens for unnecessary roughness.

1:51 p.m. - Another flag down. Holding against the Raiders puts OAK 10 yards back.

1:52 p.m. - First and 20. Not much at all on the run.

1:53 p.m. - Second and 19. DeAndre Washington gets no yardage.

1:54 p.m. - Third and 19. Incomplete to Richard. Raiders have to punt. 

1:54 p.m. - Hester out of bounds around the BAL 30.

1:57 p.m. - West takes it to midfield on the first run.

1:57 p.m. - West with a few yards on the follow up run.

1:58 p.m. - Second and eight. And Cory James chases the receiver down behind the line of scrimmage.

1:59 p.m. - Third and nine. Pass interference against OAK.

2:00 p.m. - Second and 10. The receiver is short of the first down marker.

2:00 p.m. - Third and four around midfield. No completion. Holding call against the offense. 

2:01 p.m. - Third and 14. Flacco throws it into the stands. Baltimore has to punt.

2:02 p.m. - And Oakland will take over at their own 20.

2:04 p.m. - Second and seven after the three year Murray run. 

2:05 p.m. - Smith with the completion, but he is hurt. Third and five.

2:06 p.m. - And Crabtree gets 16 yards and a new set of downs for the Raiders.

2:07 p.m. - Murray with about five on first down.

2:07 p.m. - Second and six. Roberts goes out of bounds after picking up the first.

2:08 p.m. - First and 10 at midfield. Murray with a five yard catch. 

2:08 p.m. - Second and six. And Cooper picks up 11 yards to move the chains.

2:09 p.m. - First and 10. And Washington runs 28 yards to nearly the BAL 10. 

2:10 p.m. - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS!

2:10 p.m. - Michael Crabtree with a 5-yard score on the no-huddle. 

2:10 p.m. - Sea-bass is automatic. It's 14-3, Raiders.

2:12 p.m. - Hester goes down around the BAL 15.

2:14 p.m. - First and 10. The pressure is own and Flacco throws it away.

2:14 p.m. - Second and 10. Oakland takes their first timeout with about four minutes left in the second quarter.

2:15 p.m. - Steve Smith dropped around the 20-yard-line.

2:16 p.m. - Third and seven. And Sean Smith breaks it up downfield. Fourth down for the Ravens. 

2:16 p.m. - And T.J. Carrie takes the return to the OAK 40.

2:17 p.m. -  Crabtree with five.

2:18 p.m. - Second and five. Washington dropped behind the line. 

2:19 p.m. - And that's the two-minute warning. Third and six coming up for Oakland.

2:21 p.m. - And Derek Carr scrambles for the new set of downs. But there is a holding call against the Raiders. 

2:22 p.m. - Third and 16. Richard runs up the gut, but it is not enough for the the first. 

2:23 p.m. - Fourth and seven. BAL calls a timeout. King punts it away.

2:24 p.m. - Hester fair catches it at the BAL 11. About a minute and a half left in the first half.

2:25 p.m. - Sean Smith knocks the ball out of the receivers hands.

2:25 p.m. - Steve Smith gets maybe two. 

2:26 p.m. - Third and seven. And the Ravens have enough for the first.

2:26 p.m. - BAL takes a timeout. 

2:27 p.m. - Clock keeps ticking. Second and 2.

2:28 p.m. - Ravens take it down to midfield. 

2:27 p.m. - Ravens take their final timeout.

2:28 p.m. - Thirty-seven seconds left. Steve Smith down to the OAK 30. 

2:28 p.m. - Flacco spikes it. 

2:29 p.m. - Second and 10. Ball nearly intercepted in the end zone. 

2:30 p.m. - Third and 10. Flacco throws it into the stands. 

2:30 p.m. - Tucker out with eight seconds left on the clock. 

2:30 p.m. - It is good. OAK 14, BAL 6.

2:31 p.m. - Touchback. Raiders offense on the field. Derek Carr takes a knee and that's the end of the second quarter.

2:33 p.m. - The Ravens have more total yards (184 vs. 148), with the Raiders outyarding the Ravens on the ground 57-33. Joe Flacco is 151 on 17 completions, while Derek Carr is 14 for 17 on passing attempts with two touchdowns and 91 yards.

2:48 p.m. - Second and six for Baltimore at their own 40. They have enough for a new set of downs.

2:48 p.m. - West gets about nine. A flag is down.

2:49 p.m. - It is against BAL, so all the yardage is recalled.

2:49 p.m. - First and 16. The receiver barely gets back to the line.

2:50 p.m. - Second and 15. Flacco chased down so he throws it away.

2:51 p.m. - Third and 15. A receiver hauls it in at midfield, but it is about ten yards shy of a first down. Time to punt.

2:51 p.m. - The Raiders down it at the 10, but there is a huge penalty against the Ravens - a 15 yard fair catch interference call. 

2:54 p.m. - Walford drops a pass. That would have been a big gain.

2:55 p.m. - Incomplete pass to Crabtree. 

2:55 p.m. - Third and 10. Flag is down. False start against the Raiders.

2:56 p.m. - Third and 15 coming up. 

2:57 p.m. - Richard runs it up the gut, but it isn't enough to pick up a new set of downs. 

2:57 p.m. - And Hester goes down around the 30 yard line on the return. 

3:00 p.m. - Flacco under pressure and he throws it away.

3:01 p.m. - Second down. And West runs enough to move the chains.

3:01 p.m. - And the halfback breaks out a big run, fumbles it, and the Ravens recover. 

3:02 p.m. - First and 10 at midfield. A holding call against the Raiders. 

3:03 p.m. - First and 10 at the OAK 40. West gets about five on the run.

3:03 p.m. - Second and five. Ravens ought to have enough for the new set of downs.

3:04 p.m. - First and 10 around the Raiders' 30. West gets about two on the run.

3:05 p.m. - Second and eight. And Gillmore converts. 

3:05 p.m. - First and 10. Ravens nearing the OAK 10.

3:06 p.m. - Second and five. Oakland takes a timeout.

3:08 p.m. - West is about a yard shy of the end zone.

3:09 p.m. - First and goal. The Ravens take a timeout.

3:10 p.m. - West stopped at the line. 

3:11 p.m. - Second and goal. And the receiver bobbles away a gimme-TD.

3:12 p.m. - Third and goal. And the halfback is down at the one.

3:12 p.m. - Fourth and goal. Baltimore appears to be going for it.

3:13 p.m. - And Flacco sneaks in for the score. Ravens now going for two.

3:13 p.m. - The two-point try is intercepted by Sean Smith. Raiders still lead, 14-12.

3:16 p.m. - Richard fair catches it and OAK takes over from their own 25.

3:19 p.m. - Murray with about a yard on the run.

3:19 p.m. - Second and nine. Incomplete to Crabtree. 

3:20 p.m. - Third and nine. The pressure is on, Carr lobs it to Roberts and he barely gets back to the line. Punt time.

3:21 p.m. - King knocks it out around the 20. 

3:22 p.m. - First and ten around the BAL 35. West gets a few yards. 

3:23 p.m. - And that's the end of the third. Raiders still up, 14-12.

3:26 p.m. - Third and six coming up for the Ravens. Bruce Irvin SMASHES Joe Flacco and he fumbles away the ball!

3:27 p.m. - Raiders take over at the BAL 29 yard line. Murray gets about seven.

3:28 p.m. - Second and three. Washington about a yard shy. Third and short coming up.

3:28 p.m. - Flag down. Personal foul against the Raiders. 15 yard penalty and a re-do of third down.

3:29 p.m. - Third and 16. And Cooper has enough for the FIRST DOWN!

3:31 p.m. - Actually it is fourth and inches, but it looks like Cooper definitely had it past the marker.

3:32 p.m. - Raiders going for it on fourth and inches.

3:33 p.m. - Offsides call against BAL, and the Raiders get a new set of downs.

3:34 p.m. - Murray gets about two. 

3:34 p.m. - Second and nine. OAK in the red zone. 

3:34 p.m. - Murray gobbled up at the line. 

3:35 p.m. - Third and eight. TOUCHDOWN MICHAEL CRABTREE!

3:36 p.m. - A 13 yard strike from Carr puts the Raiders up 20-12! Sea-bass is as good as gold and Oakland leads 21-12.

3:39 p.m. - About eleven minutes left in the game. Baltimore will take over at their own 25. 

3:40 p.m. - Eric Weddle is out. Third and short situation.

3:42 p.m. - And the Ravens convert. 

3:42 p.m. - Allen gets about five on the carry. 

3:43 p.m. - Second and six. Flacco goes for a deep shot, by Sean Smith breaks it up. Then, the Ravens get hit with a 10 yard penalty for pass interference. 

3:44 p.m. - Second and 16. AND MACK WITH THE SACK!

3:45 p.m. - Third and 23. And the Ravens are well short of the first down marker. 

3:45 p.m. - Ravens punt it away. It goes out of bounds around the OAK 20. 

3:47 p.m. - First and 10. A short gain for Rivera.

3:48 p.m. - Second and nine. Delay of game against the Raiders. 

3:49 p.m. - Second and fourteen. Carr runs out of bounds. 

3:50 p.m. - Third and fourteen. Incomplete to Crabtree. Out comes King. 

3:51 p.m. - Hester bumped out of bounds around the ... 40, I think? 

3:54 p.m. - Fist and 10 at their own 48 yard line for BAL. 

3:55 p.m. - And the Ravens score on a busted defensive play by the Raiders. Steve Smith with a good 40-yard-plus touchdown reception. An extra point makes it 21-19. 

3:56 p.m. - OAK takes over at their own 25. 

3:57 p.m. - Six and a half minutes left in the fourth quarter. Murray gets about two on the carry. 

3:58 p.m. - Second and eight. Carr throws it away, and there is a holding call against Oakland. 

3:59 p.m. - Third and 18. And Washington coughs up the ball, and the Ravens have it at the OAK 20.

4:00 p.m. - Second and five for BAL. 

4:01 p.m. - West up the gut, but not enough for the new set of downs. Third and three. 

4:01 p.m. - And the Ravens have enough to make it first and goal. 

4:02 p.m. - And West pushes it in to give the Ravens their first lead of the game. 25-21, with the Ravens going for two. 

4:03 p.m. - They reel it in, but there are flags everywhere. 

4:03 p.m. - Two unsportsmanlike conduct penalties against Baltimore to be assessed on the kickoff. But the two point conversion stands. Ravens lead it, 27-21.

4:05 p.m. - Richard goes down at the OAK 35. Three and a half minutes left. 

4:06 p.m. - Crabtree catches it at midfield. 

4:07 p.m. - Another first down catch by Crabtree. 

4:08 p.m. - Raiders at the BAL 40. Richard bobbles it. 

4:09 p.m. - Second and 10. Walford with a 17-yard pick-up. 

4:09 p.m. - Walford slow getting up in the backfield. 

4:10 p.m. - Second and 10. AND CRABTREE REELS IN HIS THIRD TOUCHDOWN OF THE GAME!

4:11 p.m. - Sea-bass knocks it through the uprights and the Raiders regain the lead, 28-27, with about two minutes left in the game. 

4:13 p.m. - Hester taken down at the BAL 20. Seven seconds until the two-minute warning. 

4:14 p.m. - And the Ravens run it 18 yards up to the BAL 35. 

4:16 p.m. - West dropped behind the line. 

4:17 p.m. - Second and nine. Steve Smith with about five. 

4:17 p.m. - Third and four. Smith gets the first down. The clock keeps ticking. 

4:18 p.m. - Baltimore takes a timeout, with 1:02 left in the game.

4:19 p.m. - Second and 10. Nearly intercepted by Reggie Nelson. 

4:20 p.m. - Third and 10. Incomplete pas. 

4:21 p.m. - Fourth and 10. It would be a 68-yard field goal. 

4:21 p.m. - This is the ball game, folks. AND THE RAIDERS BREAK IT UP DOWNFIELD!

4:22 p.m. - The Raiders take a knee, and they will just run out the clock. And the Oakland Raiders win their third road game of the season, a thrilling 28-27 comeback win against the Ravens!

4:24 p.m. - With a win that saw Derek Carr throw four touchdown passes (with Michael Crabtree getting the rare NFL hat trick), Oakland improves to 3-1 on the season. How about them Raiders, boys and girls!

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LIVE Play-by-Play from Week 10’s Raiders vs. Ravens Game

Stream-of-Conscious Observations From a Long-Suffering Oakland Raiders Fan

12:39 PM EST - Well, we’re officially at the halfway point of the season, and the Raiders currently foster a rather lackluster 3-5 record, although they did look slightly better than mediocre in some recent games against the Falcons and the Buccaneers.

12:41 PM EST - Sort of an aside here, but Vernon Davis just said on one of those Fox Sports vignettes that the 49ers are a lot like the new Santa Clara stadium - not finished, but getting there. For a minute, I thought he was going to say that the Niners were being illegally funded by siphoned tax revenue.

12:46 PM EST - Oh, and happy Veteran’s Day / Armistice Day, for those of you that still have hard feelings about Verdun and shit.

12:48 PM EST - Wait, Darren McFadden is going to be out for the next four weeks? It’s not even kickoff time, and FML.

12:50 PM EST - Just who the hell is that guy that isn’t Jimmy Kimmel or Frank Caliendo, exactly?

12:52 PM EST - Looks like the Raiders’ performance today hinges on whether or not Marcel Reese and Taiwan Jones can effectively grind against the Ravens’ ghastly D-line. Carson has been playing a lot better than I expected him to as of late, but something tells me that this one is going to be decided based on the run game. Just call it a hunch, I guess.

12:57 PM EST - And of course, the one TV that’s malfunctioning at the sports bar HAS to be the only one playing the Raiders/Ravens game. I wouldn’t want it any other way, really.

12:58 PM EST - Seriously, though, is “Assassin’s Creed 3” REALLY about killing Redcoats with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu? If so, I may have to pick up an Xbox for Christmas.

1:01 PM EST - Just looking at the stats, Palmer seems to be having a better season than Joe Flacco - believe it or not, He-Who-Makes-My-Life-Miserable has three more TD passes on the season, out gunning the Ravens QB by more than 400 yards thus far in 2012.

1:03 PM EST - Raiders with possession first, starting at their own 20.

1:04 PM EST - Raiders clearly trying to get the run game established here. Third down, and Palmer connects with Ausberry for a 20 yard pick up.

1:06 PM EST - Palmer swings it downfield, but no dice. Third and 2, and it looks like the Raiders are a few inches short.

1:07 PM EST - And Palmer falls flat on his ass on a 4th and 1. F. M. L.

1:10 PM EST - Third and 5 for the Ravens at their own 50. Boldin with a pick-up of about 11.

1:12 PM EST - Another third down for Baltimore. They look about five yards short, so expect the FG unit to take the field.

1:13 PM EST - And the 48 yard attempt is good. Ravens take a 3-0 lead with about 9 left in the first.

1:16 PM EST - Raiders beginning at their own 25. And Palmer gets deflected on first down. Of course he would.

1:17 PM EST - Third down and six. Nowhere close to being enough for a new set of downs.

1:21 PM EST - First down for the Ravens, and they get dropped for a three yard loss on the first play of the drive. Give the Raiders some credit, because they’ve done a pretty good job of stopping the run so far today.

1:22 PM EST - Now, stopping the PASS GAME, however, is an entirely different story.

1:25 PM EST - TOUCHDOWN RAVENS. 10-0, Baltimore.

1:26 PM EST - And somewhere, there’s an alternate reality where a 6-2 Hue Jackson-led, Bruce Gradkowksi-piloted Raiders are on cruise control for their second consecutive AFC West title. I wish I lived in that world, a lot of times.

1:31 PM EST - Current yardage estimates? Baltimore, 85, Oakland, 40.

1:32 PM EST - Well, the Raiders finally manage to convert on a third down. How about that Juron Criner, kids?

1:33 PM EST - And the Raiders shit the bed on an end-around. Well, that’s never happened before.

1:34 PM EST - The Raiders are just struggling offensively here. In terms of net rushing yards, the Raiders only have ten yards on the ground today - not that the Ravens, with just 12, are doing that much better.

1:37 PM EST - Nothing at all on third down. Time for the Raiders to punt. As a plus, though, at least Baltimore will be beginning their next possession from within their own five.

1:40 PM EST - If the Raiders don’t win this game, you really have to start thinking about whether or not this Dennis Allen kid will be collecting a paycheck come the 2013 season.

1:42 PM EST - AND MICHAEL HUFF WITH AN INTERCEPTION! Life can be awesome sometimes, you know?

1:44 PM EST - Brandon Myers with a 21 yard pick-up. The Raiders have a first and goal…finally.

1:46 PM EST - And the Raiders have to settle on a field goal after committing nine million penalties in the red zone. I know I’m beating the barely identifiable skeletal remains of a horse here, but these kids HAVE to do something about all of these penalties. 10-3, Baltimore.

1:52 PM EST - Jacoby Jones with a 47 yard gain. Ravens with a 3 and 4 at the Raiders’ 24.

1:55 PM EST - TOUCHDOWN RAVENS. 17-3, Baltimore. That loud scribbling sound you hear is the sound of the Raiders’ executive office inking up Dennis Allen’s walking papers, I do believe…

1:59 PM EST - You know, a lot of people ask me if there’s anything GOOD about being an Oakland Raiders fan. The answer, in short, is “no.”

2:01 PM EST - The Raiders officially have FOUR TIMES AS MANY penalty yards than they do net rushing yards today. And Palmer just threw an INT.

2:05 PM EST - Not that I’ve been saying this all season, but I think NOW may be the time to bench the ginger. Is it nigh time for Matt Leinart or…gasp…T-Pryor…to begin in the second half?

2:08 PM EST - 20-3, Baltimore. This game might just be the lowlight of the year for the Raiders, and believe you me…that is saying something.

2:11 PM EST - Kids, pro football is the worst thing you could ever do to yourself. If someone offers it to you, DON’T YOU TAKE IT. Trust me.

2:14 PM EST - Two minute warning. This game is so over, you might as well call it “the ceiling.”

2:16 PM EST - If the Raiders don’t score before the second half begins, would you be horribly upset if I just started covering the Saints/Falcons game instead? I mean…really, folks. REALLY.

2:18 PM EST - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! DHB with a 55 yard pick-up, and we have ourselves a 20-10 game. Now, just as long as the Ravens DON’T score before the half, I think…think…this game is potentially salvageable for Oakland. Maybe. Perhaps. To some extent.

2:21 PM EST - And with a minute left in the second, the Ravens are ALREADY in field goal range. GAHDDAMMIT.

2:25 PM EST -

2:28 PM EST - At halftime, the score is 27-10, Baltimore. The Ravens have out yarded the Raiders 266 to 200.

2:32 PM EST - Seriously, if anyone OTHER than Palmer will be starting for the Raiders, I will be ecstatic. Ecstatic, I tell you.

2:39 PM EST - At this point in the season, I’m not even all that dejected anymore. Hell, I’m just happy to see the Raiders score at least A touchdown over the course of four hours, honestly.

2:44 PM EST - A penalty? On the Raiders? NO WAY!

2:45 PM EST -

2:46 PM EST - Professional football was invented by Satan. No other explanation will suffice.

2:49 PM EST - If it wasn’t for the existence of fantasy football as a thing, I don’t think this game would legally be allowed to continue.

2:50 PM EST - Marcel Reese with a big pickup. TOO BAD IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE.

2:52 PM EST - So can you folks think of any other activities I could be doing on Sundays? Like, something that doesn’t make me hate humanity as much?

2:53 PM EST - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS. Denarius Moore with a 30 yard reception for a TD. Now, all the Raiders have to do is stop the Ravens on everything they do from here on out, double their current point count and nail a field goal in OT and this game is ALL SILVER AND BLACK, BAY-BEE.

2:59 PM EST -

3:00 PM EST - And yes, that does mark the third time I’ve killed myself today. That’s the kind of thing that you can do when you’re a Raiders fan, you know.

3:01 PM EST - Ravens, 41, Raiders, 17. Yardage report? 343 for Baltimore, 280 for Oakland.

3:05 PM EST - Well, if there’s a positive I can think of from this evening, it’s that, to the best of my knowledge, all-out nuclear war DIDN’T break out. Beyond that, though, I’ve got nothing.

3:14 PM EST - If you took a shot every time the Raiders committed a penalty today, I’m pretty sure you’d be comatose by now.

3:16 PM EST - Baltimore, 48, Oakland 17. Latest yardage estimates? Ravens, 397, Raiders, 280.

3:21 PM EST - Eff it, I’m just going to start watching the Falcons game instead.

3:22 PM EST - Folks, there are still TWENTY MORE MINUTES of this. There’s an outside shot the Ravens may end up winning this one by triple digits.

3:25 PM EST - Cosmic comedy: this game is playing right beside the Bengals/Giants game, and guess who just flashed on screen? Hint: the guy that COULD’VE been our franchise QB.

3:28 PM EST - Some days, I just wish NFL games were decided solely on which team had the better uniform.

3:29 PM EST - And it is FINALLY time for the fourth quarter to begin. I think all of the Ravens’ starters have been pulled, and so has the likelihood of Dennis Allen remaining employed throughout the remainder of the season.

3:30 PM EST - Wait…you fight bears in “Assassin’s Creed 3,” too? Holy shit.

3:33 PM EST - Gotta’ admit, I’ve been tuned out of this game for the last hour. That Falcons/Saints game, however, is shaping up to be a Game-of-the-Year contender, though.

3:34 PM EST - Ravens 48, Raiders 20. Baltimore has 413 all-purpose yards, while Oakland has just 344.

3:36 PM EST - …just…just…forget it man. Just forget it.

3:38 PM EST - This game isn’t just awful, it’s arguably the worst thing that’s ever happened to humanity as a whole. I swear, that isn’t hyperbole, either.

3:42 PM EST - I wish this game/season/planet was over right about now.

3:46 PM EST - And on a 4th and 3rd, the Raiders bobble in the red zone. This season isn’t just dead, it’s practically feldspar at this juncture.

3:47 PM EST - You know your franchise is in bad shape when the current season is just BARELY halfway over and you’re already pessimistic about your odds NEXT SEASON.

3:49 PM EST - Football is God’s punishment for missing church every week.

3:52 PM EST - You seriously don’t know how bad you have it until you’re an Oakland Raiders fan. Anybody that claims to suffer that isn’t wearing silver and black is just being dramatic.

3:58 PM EST - The Raiders have FIVE TIMES as many penalty yards as they do net rushing yards. Told you the run game was going to prove pivotal today!

4:00 PM EST - The two minute warning is upon us, and it dawns upon me that the Raiders haven’t realistically been in this game since the end of the first quarter.

4:05 PM EST - Well, today sucked. And hard.

4:06 PM EST - The final score this afternoon in Baltimore? Ravens 55, Raiders 20. I hate football, with a passion.

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