2020 XFL Power Rankings (Week 2)

A weekly wrap-up of the gridiron greatness given to us by one Vincent Kennedy McMahon!

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2017 NFL Power Rankings (Week 2!)

ESPN and Sports Illustrated can eat shit - these are the only pro football rankings anybody needs.

By: Jimbo X

JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@JimboX

This Week's Episode:

"Your defense is offensive"

THE ELITES

#01

Oakland Raiders (2-0)

Season Point Differential: +35

Ten years ago, the hopeless, hapless and helpless Raiders drafted Jamarcus Russell, setting into motion a cap space nightmare made flesh that insured they would be hardly anything more than perennial AFC West bottom-feeders for the better part of a decade. Well, a mere three years after picking up Derek Carr, Khalil Mack and Gabe Jackson in the 2014 draft, the Raiders have transformed into quite possibly the most explosive offensive threat in pro football - as evident by the team's 45-20 mangling of the New York Jets last Sunday. Powered by veteran ball carrier Marshawn Lynch, the Raiders are just as explosive running the ball as they are throwing it, as indicative of Jalen Richard and Cordarrelle Patterson (who is actually a slot receiver by position) each breaking off 40-yard plus TD runs against N.Y. If this defense (in particular, the secondary) improves, this team could become a MAJOR postseason player - if not an outright dynasty in waiting.

#02

Baltimore Ravens (2-0)

Season Point Differential: +34

There's nothing flashy about the no-name offense of the Ravens, but they're certainly getting the job done. In Baltimore's 24-10 win over Cleveland, Joe Flacco went 25 for 34 for 217 yards and 2 TDs (plus an INT), with Javorius Allen (5 receptions, 35 yards) and Jeremy Maclin (four receptions, 31 yards) each reeling in TD passes. Still, as solid as the team's rushing defense may be (they held Isaiah "Kill All Cops" Crowell to just 37 yards on the day), their pass defense seems fairly suspect; I mean, did these guys REALLY let DeShone Kizer and Kevin Hogan tag team 'em for 300 yards? Another reason for the Baltimore hype train to be awfully cautious: Pro Bowl lineman Marshal Yanda is officially out for the remainder of the season.

#03

Denver Broncos (2-0)

Season Point Differential: +30

In yet another sign that the biblical Apocalypse is nigh, Denver QB Trevor Siemian (231 yards, 22 completions) threw four touchdown passes in his team's 42-17 rectal execution of the Cowboys last Sunday. The run games of the two teams couldn't have been any more divergent; while Dallas struggled to rack up 40 yards on 14 carries, the Broncos easily accumulated 178 yards on the ground, with top producer C.J. Anderson racking up 118 yards and one end zone visit on 25 carries.

#04

Detroit Lions (2-0)

Season Point Differential: +26

After Monday night's game, you'd be hard-pressed to find anybody who thinks Matt Stafford isn't worth his record contract dollars. Going 15 for 21 for 122 yards and two scores, Stafford led the Lions to a facile 24-10 victory over the G-Men, with Detroit's defense holding New York to just 62 yards rushing  ... and sacking Eli Manning's ass five times for a net loss of 31 yards.

#05

Carolina Panthers (2-0)

Season Point Differential: +26

It wasn't pretty, but Cam Newton and company nonetheless managed to pull out the 9-3 win against Buffalo over the weekend. Both teams were held to less than 200 yards passing and neither squad could reach triple digits in terms of rushing yards; alas, the Panthers got within field goal range more times than the Bills, and that was the big decider in the ball game. Perhaps the biggest takeaway from the game, of course, is the injury to Pro Bowler Greg Olsen, whose broken leg is going to keep him out of action for the next two-to-three months.

#06

Kansas City Chiefs (2-0)

Season Point Differential: +22

Kareem Hunt's outstanding rookie year continues. In the Chiefs' 27-20 win over the Eagles, the first-year pro out of Toledo collected 81 yards and two touchdowns on 13 carries, and he currently leads the League in total rushing yards. Alas, after a 400-yard-plus performance against New England on opening night, Alex Smith's numbers looked a little more, well, Alex Smith-like; KC's QB finished the game with a more down-to-earth 251 yards and one TD pass on 21 completions.

#07

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-0)

Season Point Differential:+22

Well, there's no hurricane rust on the Bucs. In their 29-7 beatdown of Chicago, Jameis Winston went 18 for 30 for one TD, with Mike Evans leading the receiving corps with 93 yards on seven receptions. Alas, as good as the Bucs' run defense was (they held the Bears to an absurd 20 yards on the ground), they also let the Bears get way more aerial yardage than they probably should've; thankfully, the Bears were more than happy to turn the ball over four times so their foes had ample opportunities to capitalize on Mike Glennon's fuck-ups. 

#08

Pittsburgh Steelers (2-0)

Season Point Differential:+20

The Steelers had no problem surmounting the Vikings in a facile 26-9 home victory. Big Ben went 23 for 35 for two touchdowns, with top receiver Martavis Bryant hauling in three passes for 91 yards and one trip to the end zone. Le'Veon Bell had a pretty good showing, collecting 87 yards but no scores on 27 touches, and the defense looked tremendous, too, holding Case Keenum to just 167 yards passing on 20 completions and Dalvin Cook to just 64 yards on 12 carries.

He may not stand for the flag, but at least he knows how to get down to the beat.

THE PLAYOFF HOPEFULS

#09

Atlanta Falcons (2-0)

Season Point Differential: +17

Don't let the 34-23 final score fool you - the Falcons/Packers shindig last Sunday night was never that close. Indeed, in the opening of the third quarter a fumble returned for a touchdown gave Atlanta a 31-7 lead, and everything Green Bay posted afterwards was the definition of garbage time pointage. Matt Ryan had an alright showing (19 for 28 for 252 yards for one TD), but the hero of the day for Atlanta was definitely back Devonta Freeman, who finished the contest with 84 yards and two touchdown trips on 19 touches.

#10

Miami Dolphins (1-0)

Season Point Differential: +2

The Dolphins just barely eked out a win against the Chargers in their first game of the season in L.A., with an errant kick from the recently displaced powder blue jerseys giving Miami the 19-17 victory. Jay Cutler went 24 for 30 for 230 yards and one passing TD, while Jay Ajayi looked just as good as he did last season, accumulating 122 yards on 28 carries. Still, that passing defense is just the worst; at the final horn, the Fins allowed Phillip Rivers to complete 31 of 39 passes for 331 yards and one score.

#11

Los Angeles Rams (1-1)

Season Point Differential: +30

After destroying the Colts 46-9 in week one, the Rams followed suit by dropping a 27-20 loss to Washington. Stats-wise, there isn't much to talk about; Jared Goff was just sorta' OK with 224 yards and a 1-to-1 TD-to-INT ratio on 15 completions while Todd Gurley looked fairly solid carrying the pigskin 16 times for 88 yards and one score. The team's rush defense, however, was downright putrid, allowing the Redskins to rack up 229 yards and two touchdowns on the ground. 

#12

Tennessee Titans (1-1)

Season Point Differential: +11

After a ten-point loss to the Raiders in week one, the Titans rebounded in a big way by besting divisional foes Jacksonville by a whopping 21 points. The pass and run game both clicked for Tennessee; Marcus Mariota finished the affair 15 for 27 for 215 yards and a 1-to-1 TD-to-INT ratio, while Derrick Henry led the backfield's combined 179-yard, three touchdown day with 92 yards and one TD on 14 touches.

#13

Philadelphia Eagles (1-1)

Season Point Differential: +6

Even though the Eagles lost 27-20 to the Chiefs last Sunday, there's still plenty of positives for Philly fans to take away from the game. For one, Carson Wentz posted great numbers again, going 25 for 46 for 333 yards and two touchdown passes - that, in addition to the extra 55 yards he picked up scrambling. And Philly's defense looked pretty solid, sacking KC'S Alex Smith four times for a cumulative 19-yard loss. Alas, Philly's offensive line looked equally terrible, allowing Chiefs' defenders to drop Wentz six times for a net yardage loss of 34.

#14

Buffalo Bills (1-1)

Season Point Differential: +3

In the Bills' 9-3 loss to Carolina, only kicker Stephen Hauschka could net any points for Buffalo. Perhaps the low-scoring affair was inevitable; after all, averaging 234.5 yards per game, Buffalo currently has the League's second stingiest defense ... behind Carolina, of course, who leads the Leage with 196.5 yards allowed per game.

#15

New England Patriots (1-1)

Season Point Differential: +1

Well, Tom Brady decided to be Tom Brady again last Sunday. Following a shocking 15-point loss to the Chiefs at home on opening night, the Pats took out their frustrations on the figuratively-but-might-as-well-be-literally-defenseless Saints, walloping Drew Brees and amigos 36-20. Brady led the League in passing yards in week two, accumulating 447 yards and three touchdowns on 30 completions, with Gronk leading New England's receivers with 116 yards and one touchdown on six catches.

#16

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1)

Season Point Differential: +1

After a dominant 22 point victory over the Texans in week one, the Jaguars quickly reverted to form and got their asses waxed 37-16 by the Titans last Sunday. Blake Bortles went 20 for 34 for 223 yards, one TD and one INT, with Allen Hurns leading the Jags' receivers with 82 yards and a score on six receptions. After topping 100 yards in his regular season NFL debut, Leonard Fournette was far less impressive in week two; he got a touchdown, but he only recorded 40 yards on 14 carries.

Yeah, like anybody expects a segment literally sponsored by Gilllette to be anything other than a Tom Brady dick-suck-a-thon.

THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK

#17

Green Bay Packers (1-1)

Season Point Differential: -3

Down at one juncture by two dozen points, there's not a lot that can assuage the Green Bay faithful following their prime time 34-23 loss to the Falcons. Granted, Aaron Rodgers had decent stats (33 for 50 for 343 yards, two touchdowns and one INT), and Davante Adams and Ty Montgomery both looked solid with 75-yards-plus and one TD haul a piece. But what the hell happened to the run game? The Packers sputtered out on the ground, racking up just 59 yards on 19 carries, while letting their adversaries chalk up 141 on 27 carries.

#18

Seattle Seahawks (1-1)

Season Point Differential: -5

With seven minutes and some change left in the fourth quarter, Russell Wilson connected with Paul Richardson on a nine yard pass to give the Seahawks a 12-9 victory over divisional foes San Fran. Even in victory, Wilson chalked up one of his worst performances ever under center for Seattle; he finished the game 23 for 39 for 198 yards, got sacked three times and had four of his passes deflected by 49ers defenders.

#19

Washington Redskins (1-1)

Season Point Differential: -6

Kirk Cousins' 11-yard zip to Ryan Grant with less than two minutes in the fourth was the game winner for the Redskins, who bested the Rams 27-20 at the L.A. Colosseum. Washington's run game definitely helped out the sluggish passing attack; while Cousins could only accumulate 179 yards in the air, the combined Redskins backfield was able to rack up 229 on the ground, with backs Rob Kelley (12 carries, 78 yards, one score) and Chris Thompson (3 carries, 77 yards and two touchdowns) leading the charge.

#20

Minnesota Vikings (1-1)

Season Point Differential: -7

The Vikings offense just couldn't get started against the Steelers. In the 26-9 road loss, Case Keenum had just 146 yards on the day after factoring in the two times he got sacked for negative 21 yards, while Pittsburgh's defenders recorded six deflections and hit the QB seven times. The lone positive out of the experience? Kicker Kai Forbath looked pretty solid, knocking three field goals to give Minnesota their only points on the board all afternoon long.

#21

Dallas Cowboys (1-1)

Season Point Differential: -9

Just one week after throttling the Giants, the Cowboys themselves wound up getting strangulated by the Denver Broncos in a pitiful 42-17 ass thrashing. Dak Prescott went 30 for 50 for 238 yards, two touchdowns and two INTs, while Ezekiel Elliot wrapped up the game with an atrocious eight yards on nine carries. At least Jason Witten got you some fantasy points, though; he completed the game with 97 yards and a touchdown on ten receptions.

#22

Arizona Cardinals (1-1)

Season Point Differential: -9

With 12 minutes left in the fourth quarter, the Cards were down 13-3. About five minutes later, Carson Palmer would hit J.J. Nelson for a 45-yard TD strike, and barely four minutes after that Phil Dawson would boot the game-tying field goal. Seven minutes into O.T. Dawson would knock another one through the uprights to give Arizona the hard-fought, extra-innings victory; if you listen very, very closely, you can still hear the residents of Indianapolis cursing their television sets. 

#23

Houston Texans (1-1)

Season Point Differential: -18

Deshaun Watson may not have had any TD throws in his 15 for 24, 125 yard passing day against the Bengals last Thursday night, but he at least managed to put points on the board with a 49-yard rushing TD. Beyond that, there really isn't much to celebrate concerning Houston's 13-9 win over Cincinnati. Well, except for maybe the DeAndre Hopkins' 73-yard, seven reception day, but at that point, we'd really be stretching it.

#24

Los Angeles Chargers (0-2)

Season Point Differential: -5

Yeah, I know it's going to sound like a backhanded compliment, but the Chargers really are the best winless team in the NFL. Indeed, both of their losses have been by three points or less, and in each outing the team was undone by a last second special teams snafu. That's not to say there aren't some major problems with their run game, though. The Chargers - who now play in a soccer stadium that can barely hold 30,000 people - only put up 44 yards on the ground last Sunday, while allowing the Dolphins to rack up 111.

No, a half-starved Somalian teenager didn't steal Hue Jackson's wardrobe; that's actually what the quarterback for the Cleveland Browns looks like.

ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE DRAFT

#25

Cleveland Browns (0-2)

Season Point Differential: -17

After a shockingly close loss to the Steelers in week one, the Browns quickly reverted to standard operating procedure with a 24-10 loss to the Ravens last Sunday. Quarterback play from both DeShone Kizer and Kevin Hogan were downright atrocious, with the former going 15 for 31 for 182 yards, zero scores and THREE interceptions and the latter going 5 for 11 for 118 yards, one garbage time TD and one INT. To put that in perspective, their COMBINED QBR of 60.6 was still 14.2 points lower than that of Baltimore's Joe Flacco. 

#26

San Francisco 49ers (0-2)

Season Point Differential: -23

49ers quarterback Brian Hoyer may have had the worst day of any QB thus far in the NFL season when his team got bested by Seattle over the weekend. In the 12-9 loss, Hoyer had a grand total of just 99 passing yards on the day, which you might as well roll back to just 89 because he got sacked twice for minus ten yards. And if that wasn't bad enough, he also lobbed an interception, had five passes deflected and got hit ten times by Seattle defenders. Well, I guess at this point, it's not like Colin K. would be any WORSE of an option at QB, would it?

#27

Cincinnati Bengals (0-2)

Season Point Differential: -26

In the Bengals' 13-9 Thursday night loss to the Texans, Andy Dalton went 20 for 35 for 224 yards and no touchdowns. He got sacked three times, was hit five times and had five passes deflected. Meanwhile, the team's backfield combined for a lowly 82 rushing yards on 24 carries, and some players for Cincinnati are already clamoring for the Red Rifle to get benched in favor of Colin "Fuck White People" Kaepernick. Considering they're traveling to Green Bay on Sunday, one can only hope the revitalized Bungles have plenty of guffaws in store for us over the weekend.

#28

New Orleans Saints (0-2)

Season Point Differential: -28

The more things change, the more they stay the same, especially if you're talking about New Orleans' porous defense. In their 36-20 loss to the Patriots, the Saints gave up 555 yards of total offense; just two games into the 2017 campaign, and New Orleans has already allowed their opponents to rack up 1,025 yards. Averaging 388.5 passing yards alone per game, these Saints are on pace to break the League record for most yardage given up in a single season - by almost 1,000 additional yards!

#29

Chicago Bears (0-2)

Season Point Differential: -30

After a stellar showing in week 1's surprisingly close game against Atlanta, the Bears got shellacked 29-7 by Tampa Bay over the weekend. Mike Glennon had 301 yards on 31 completions, with a one-to-two TD-to-INT ratio (with one resulting in a pick six for Robert McClain) while Jordan Howard was held to an ABSURD seven yards rushing on nine carries. Oh, and their only points came in the form of a pointless TD with less than two minutes left in the game - when they were already down by 29 points.

#30

New York Giants

Season Point Differential: -30

The G-Men are just two games into the season and they're already in total implosion mode. They followed up their demoralizing loss to the Cowboys in week one with an equally demoralizing 24-10 loss to the Lions on Monday night, one in which Eli Manning went 22 for 32 for 239 yards and one-to-one TD-to-INT ratio. Even worse, the Giants' rushing game was practically rudderless; at the final horn, New York's backfield could only produce 62 yards worth of ground-based offense - and yet, they're still only the second worst pro football team playing home game at MetLife Stadium!

#031

New York Jets (0-2)

Season Point Differential: -34

The jets on 9/11 fared better than the Jets last Sunday, as they got waylaid by the Raiders 45-20. Josh McCown had 166 yards and two touchdowns (both tosses to Jermaine Kearse, who finished the game with 64 yards on four receptions) but he also got sacked four times for a net loss of 21 yards. And defensively, this team couldn't do shit; they let Derek Carr (23 for 28, 230 yards) connect with Michael Crabtree (six receptions, 80 yards) for three touchdowns, and their defenders didn't even hit the Raiders' QB once.  Factor in two costly turnovers which immediately led to Raiders' touchdowns and you have what might just be the most holistically dreadful performance of the fledgling NFL season thus far. 

#032

Indianapolis Colts (0-2)

Season Point Differential: -40

In the 2011 season, some accused the Colts of intentionally losing games on purpose so they could "Suck for Luck" and pick up the highly touted QB as the first selection in the NFL draft.Well, today, the Colts are running an entirely different campaign, "Suck without Luck," as they dropped a 16-13 overtime heartbreaker to Arizona. Ex-Pat Jacoby Brissett wasn't much of a factor in the game; going 20 for 37 for 216 yards, he had no touchdown passes or runs and was sacked four times for a cumulative loss of 26 yards. But on the bright side? At least they managed to hold Chris Johnson to 44 yards rushing on the day. Tis a pity they couldn't stop Carson Palmer's old ass from dropping 332 yards on them in the air, though ...

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LIVE(ish) Play-By-Play from Week 2's Raiders vs. Jets Game!

This Week's Episode:

"S-H-I-T, Shit, Shit, Shit!"

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@JimboX

It's that time of year again, folks! As is the tradition here at The Internet Is In America, we're going to do our damnedest to give you LIVE play-by-play coverage of every single Oakland Raiders game of the season, including today's home stand against New York. Join us LIVE on Sunday, Sept. 17 for our patented possession-by-possession coverage of week 2's Raiders vs. Jets game, with the festivities beginning at 4 p.m. eastern time. There'll be updates every commercial break, so be sure to bookmark this shit prior to kickoff. And, as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#SilverAndBlackLivesMatter) ... 

1:35 PM - The kickoff will be at 4:05 PM Eastern. The Raiders are 1-0 heading into the home stand, while the Jets are looking for their first win of the season.

1:36 PM - The Raiders are 13.5 point favorites heading into the game. The last time the Raiders were favored that much was in 2001, in a game against Dallas - which the Raiders only won by a touchdown. 

1:37 PM - The over/under for the game is 43.5. ESPN's Pro Football Index gives the Raiders a 91 percent chance to win the game. 

1:38 PM - For the Raiders, fullback Jamize Olawale is questionable, as is cornerback Sean Smith and safety Keith McGill.

3:59 PM - And for the Jets? Safety Rontez Mills, TE Eric Tomlinson, LB Bruce Carter, and TE Jordan Leggett are all listed as scratches, while back-up QB Christian Hackenburg is listed as inactive.

4:04 PM - First round draft pick Gareon Conley will be making his pro start as a cornerback for the Raiders this evening, in case you were wondering.

4:06 PM - Oakland will receive first. Patterson takes it a little past the OAK 15.

4:06 PM - Marshawn hit behind the line on the first down run. There's a late flag.

4:07 PM - It's an unnecessary roughness call against the Raiders.

4:07 PM - Second and 18. Walford takes it to the OAK 15.

4:08 PM - Third and 11. Patterson gets six yards, which isn't enough to move the chains.

4:09 PM - Raiders punt. There's a flag in the backfield.

4:09 PM - It's a five yard penalty against the Raiders.

4:10 PM - Josh McCown is the starting QB for the Jets. Karl Joseph drops the running back for a two-yard loss.

4:11 PM - Second and 12. Matt Forte gets a three yard gain.

4:11 PM - Third and nine. McCown scrambles for maybe one yard. Time for the Jets to punt.

4:12 PM - The kick sails out of bounds around the OAK 19.

4:15 PM - Lynch rumbles for about four yards.

4:16 PM - Second and six. A 26 yard pick-up for Michael Crabtree on a Lynch to Carr flea-flicker.

4:17 PM - Patterson with a seven or so-yard run.

4:17 PM - Second and two. Cooper with a quick pick-up on the slant to move the chains.

4:18 PM - Lynch slips and rolls on a first down pitch.

4:19 PM - Second and 10. Marshawn with a four yard gain.

4:19 PM - Third and six. Flags down. Looks like the Jets jumped. Yep, it's five free yards for the Raiders.

4:20 PM - Third and one. Lynch takes it down to the OAK 20. That's a 13-yard rip.

4:21 PM - Incomplete to Seth Roberts in the end zone.

4:22 PM - Second and 10. Jared Cook with a six yard reception.

4:22 PM - Third and fourth. Washington takes it down to nearly the Jets' 1.

Michael Crabtree gets the Raiders on the board first via a one-yard TD reception.

4:23 PM - First and goal. TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS!

4:24 PM - Michael Crabtree reels in the two-step screener.

4:24 PM - And the PAT is good. Raiders take the lead, 7-0.

4:27 PM - The Jets return man takes it to the NYJ 37.

4:28 PM - Robbie Anderson hauls in the 19-yard pass.

4:29 PM - The deep pass gets slapped away by Gareon Conley.

4:29 PM - Second and 10. Forte hit right at the line.

4:30 PM - Third and nine. MARIO EDWARDS JR WITH THE SACK!

4:35 PM - Donald Penn hit with a clipping penalty.

4:35 PM - Cook with about ten on the first and 17 play.

4:36 PM - Second and 7. Richard hit at the line.

4:36 PM - Third and seven. Amari Cooper with a 13-yard reception.

4:37 PM - And the Jets call a timeout, because they're still the Jets.

4:40 PM - Cooper hit right at the line on the first down pass.

4:40 PM - Second and 11. Crabtree is putting his shoe back on as the quarter ends.

4:43 PM - Still second and 11. And Richard gets a HUGE gain on the scoop and run. That's 39 yards.

4:44 PM - Lynch hit behind the line on the first yard run. 

4:45 PM - Second and 10. Lynch runs for about four yards.

4:45 PM - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Michael Crabtree with his second end zone pilgrimage of the day!

4:46 PM - And the PAT is good. The Raiders lead it, 14-0.

4:49 PM - The Jets take the touchback, so they'll start at their own 25.

4:50 PM - McGuire with a six yard run.

4:51 PM - Second and four. Sterling hauls in enough yardage to move the sticks.

4:51 PM - Tye with about three yards on a pick-up.

4:52 PM - Second and six. Bruce Irvin hits the ball carrier behind the line for a loss. And just like last week, he gets hit with an unnecessary roughness call.

4:54 PM - Jets get 15 free yards and they're now at the midfield point. McGuire gets maybe three yards on the run.

4:54 PM - Second and seven. The back gets about four yards.

4:55 PM - Third and two. And Kearse actually HAULS in the 34 yard pass for a touchdown. The PAT is good. It's 14-7, Oakland.

4:59 PM - Patterson takes the kick all the way up to the OAK 30. Flags are down.

5:00 PM - Jon Feliciano hit with a personal foul penalty. That backs them up to their own 15.

5:00 PM - Crabtree with a 21 yard reception.

5:01 PM - Lynch runs for about eight.

5:01 PM - The pass is just short of Cook.

5:02 PM - Third and two. And the Raiders call a timeout.

5:03 PM - And the pass is short of Cook again. King out to punt.

5:04 PM - The Jets fair catch it at their own 9.

5:07 PM - Forte with a six yard run.

5:07 PM - Second and four. Forte with a seven yard pick up to move the chains.

5:08 PM - McGuire with a catch and run for seven yards.

5:09 PM - Second and three. Powell with maybe a yard on the catch.

5:09 PM - Third and three. Looks like the Jets receiver was hit just shy of the line.

5:10 PM - Well, they converted by a couple of inches.

5:11 PM - And Del Rio is challenging the spot of the ball.

5:12 PM - The ruling on the field stands.

5:13 PM - The running back is hit behind the line. There's a flag on the play.

5:14 PM - That's a 15-yard taunting penalty against Marquel Lee. 

5:14 PM - Forte runs across the OAK 40.

5:15 PM - That was a 16-yard run. Forte with a seven yard run.

5:15 PM - Second and three. Forte dropped about a yard shy of the first down marker.

5:16 PM - Third and one. The Jets call a timeout.

5:17 PM - And Tye can't haul in the catch.

5:18 PM - Jets trying for a field goal. It's good. Raiders still lead, 14-10.

5:19 PM - It'll be a touchback, so the Raiders will start the next drive at their own 25.

5:20 PM - Lynch with a two yard gain.

5:20 PM - Second and eight. Cooper can't hold on to it.

5:21 PM - Third and eight. And nope, it's not enough to move the chains.

5:22 PM - There's the two minute warning.

5:24 PM - Raiders punt. THE JETS FUMBLE IT AND THE RAIDERS RECOVER IT WITHIN THE JETS' 5!

5:25 PM - Holton with the pivotal recovery. Lynch hit at the line.

5:27 PM - Second and goal. Lynch with about two yards on the run.

5:28 PM - Third and goal. TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Beast Mode with his first score as an Oakland Raider!

5:28 PM - The PAT is good. Raiders lead it 21-10 with 21 seconds left in the half.

5:29 PM - Touchback, so the Jets will begin at their own 25.

5:30 PM - And the Jets just take a knee and run out the clock.

5:31 PM - Our halftime stats? Derek Carr is 13 for 18 for 167 yards and two touchdowns, while Josh McCown is 8 for 11 for 82 yards and one touchdown strike.

5:32 PM - As far as the run game is concerned, it's a lot closer than it would seem. The Raiders have 52 yards on the ground, while the Jets aren't far behind with 47.

5:33 PM - Michael Crabtree is the game's top receiver at the half. He's got 75 yards and two touchdowns on four receptions. Marshawn Lynch is the top rusher with 38 yards and a score on 11 carries.

5:33 PM - The Jets will get the ball first when we return from halftime.

5:45 PM - Offside call against the Raiders on the kickoff.

5:46 PM - Jets start around their own 30. About five yards on Powell's run.

5:46 PM - Second and five. The back might have enough to move the chains.

5:47 PM - Third and short. Looks like Powell has enough for a new set of downs.

5:47 PM - McCown scrambles for nine yards.

5:47 PM - Second and one. McGuire with a seven yard run.

5:48 PM - The back is dropped right at the line.

5:49 PM - Second and 10. Flag is down. 

5:49 PM - It's an illegal motion call against the Jets.

5:50 PM - Second and 15. Forte hit for a loss.

5:50 PM - Third and 18. And McCown RUNS to move the sticks.

5:51 PM - That was a 22 yard run. Carrie breaks up the long shot to the end zone.

5:52 PM - Second and 10. And the receiver is hit behind the line.

5:53 PM - Third and 10. And Anderson is pushed out of bounds about two yards short.

5:53 PM - Fourth and one. And the Jets are going for it.

5:54 PM - And McGuire is STOPPED at the line. 

5:54 PM - It's a delay of game penalty against the Jets, so they get to go again.

5:54 PM - Here comes the field goal unit. The field goal is good. It's 21-13, Raiders.

5:58 PM - Patterson is downed at the OAK 15.

5:59 PM - Washington with a six yard run.

5:59 PM - Second and four. Washington with more than enough to move the sticks.

6:00 PM - Washington with maybe a yard on the play.

6:00 PM - Second and 10. Washington ultimately dropped behind the line. A flag is down.

6:01 PM - 15-yard penalty against the Jets. 

6:01 PM - Crabtree turns the corner for about five.

6:02 PM - Second and six. Cook just shy of moving the sticks.

6:03 PM - Third and one. TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Patterson cuts right down the middle for a 40-yard-plus run!

6:04 PM - That was a 43-yard run. And the PAT is good. It's 28-13, Raiders.

And don't you ever damn forget it, neither.

6:07 PM -  The Jets take the touchback. They'll start at their own 25.

6:10 PM - AND MACK WITH THE SACK!

6:10 PM - Second and 19. Mack gets called offsides. The Jets get five free yards.

6:11 PM - Second and 14. Kearse pushed out about three yards short.

6:12 PM - Third and three. Kerley converts via a ten-yard gain.

6:13 PM - McGuire with maybe two yards. 

6:13 PM - Second and 8. McGuire can't reel it in.

6:14 PM - Third and 8. JOSEPH SACKS MCCOWN.

6:15 PM - And that's the end of the third quarter. 

6:17 PM - Richard goes down at the OAK 20.

6:18 PM - Cooper with more than enough for a first down. A 16 yard pick up.

6:19 PM - A Jet is injured. Time for a commercial break.

6:22 PM - Lynch with a five yard reception.

6:22 PM - Steve McClendon was the hurt Jet. Second and 6. And Lynch appears to have enough to move the chains.

6:23 PM - TOUCHDOWN RAIDERS! Richard rips a 52-yard run! Of course the PAT is good. It's 35-13, Raiders.

6:27 PM - The ball fell off the stand, so the Raiders get to kick the ball again.

6:28 PM - AND JOSEPH WITH THE STRIP SACK! Raiders take over within the Jets' own 20.

6:30 PM - It's incomplete to Cooper in the end zone, but flags are everywhere.

6:30 PM - That puts the ball at the one yard line. AND CRABTREE WITH HIS THIRD TOUCHDOWN OF THE DAY!

6:31 PM - The XP is good. It's now 42-13, Oakland.

6:36 PM - The Jets take the touchback.

6:36 PM - Forte with about seven on the run.

6:37 PM - Second and 2. Keerley has enough for a new set of downs.

6:37 PM - Kearse with nine on the catch.

6:38 PM - Second and 2. Forte with enough to move the chains.

6:38 PM - Forte runs for maybe four, possibly five.

6:39 PM - Second and five at midfield. The receiver can't hold on to the ball.

6:39 PM - Third and five. The Raiders call a timeout.

6:41 PM - Forte takes it to the OAK 15.

6:41 PM - Amerson breaks it up in the end zone.

6:42 PM - Autry bats down the pass.

6:43 PM - Third and 10. The Jets call a timeout. Kearse reels in the catch in the end zone.

6:45 PM - Oh shit, Joseph looks hurt. OK, he's back on his feet. Good.

6:46 PM - The XP is good. It's 42-20, Raiders.

6:48 PM - Looks like the Jets are going for an onside kick.

6:49 PM - And the Raiders recover at midfield.

6:50 PM - Washington with a five yard run.

6:51 PM - Second and 5. And Lee Smith with enough to move the chains.

6:52 PM - Washington stopped behind the line.

6:52 PM - Second and 11. Washington stopped at the line.

Time to party like it's 2002, ya'll!

6:53 PM - Third and 11. And Richard gets enough to garner a new set of downs.

6:54 PM - Minimal gain on first down.

6:55 PM - Second and nine. Richard takes it to the NYJ 18.

6:55 PM - Third and four. Patterson picks it up at the 11. 

6:56 PM - Richard hit for a loss.

6:57 PM - Second and 11. And that'll take us to the two-minute warning.

7:00 PM - Richard with maybe a yard on the play.

7:01 PM - Third and 10. Washington hit about five yards short of the first down marker.

7:01 PM - Raiders going for it on fourth down, because why not when you are up by 22?

7:02 PM - And the Raiders jump offsides. Here comes the field goal unit. 

7:02 PM - It's good. Raiders lead it 45-20 with half a minute left in the game.

7:03 PM - It's a touchback.

7:04 PM - McGuire runs it up the middle for a first down.

7:05 PM - And that's the ball game, folks. Our final score in Oakland? Raiders 45, Jets 20.

7:06 PM - The Raiders are 2-0 for the first time since 2002. And all I can say is, man ... do I love football, with a passion.

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