The IIIA 2018 State of The Union Address Report!

Missed Trump's inaugural SOTU address (or just so damned lazy it's taken you almost three months to look into it?) No worries - the first ever IIIA guest article fills you in all the details ...

By: Alex Steele
catchthecondor14@gmail.com
www.acondor14.blogspot.com

Hola, amigos - it's your  proprietor of The Internet Is In America, Jimbo X. As you've probably noticed, I haven't been updating the site as regularly as of late. Long story short, it's because I'm one busy motherfucker and between working 12 hours a day, six days a week, taking care of my puppy and trying to keep my significant other sexually satisfied (all while still finding the time to do basic human functions like sleep, shower and cram Reese's cups down my throat at 11:34 at night as my first meal of the day), I simply don't have the time nor the impetus to spend a good two or three hours a day waxing philosophically on such grave topics as the BonziBuddy and Little Debbie's arsenal of L-T-O Easter products from five years ago.

Of course, I still plan on writing for the site, but for the foreseeable future, expect my posts to be a little sparser, a little shorter and a little less frequent. And since I can't run the site full-time anymore, I decided to do the most democratic thing I could - I'm turning the reins over to you, the people.

That's right - today, I'm proud to announce, formally, the launch of THE INTERNET IS IN AMERICA WRITERS APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM. It's real simple, kids. All you have to do is send me an email to this here address, let me know what you want to write about (or already have written about), and as long as it's a.) funny, b.) entertaining and c.) not stark-raving agitprop, odds are I'll probably publish it.

Now, I ain't paying any of you assholes, so don't even think about trying to bilk my out of my money. But what I WILL promise you, however, is that your shit will get published, it'll get promoted and you'll get a full byline and everything to accompany your article, complete with complementary plugs to your websites or social media profiles or whatever the hell else you people are doing on the Internet nowadays. And for no extra cost, your kindly Jimbo X - a ten-year professional writer with a wealth of journalism and P.R. experience, by the way - will teach you the tricks of the trade, and maybe even give you a recommendation when a "real" website comes a lookin' to procure your services.

In fact, we've already got one reader turned writer aboard - one Alex Steele, who recently sent along the following article highlighting the ups and downs of President Donald Trump's first State of the Union address. Without further ado, Let's take a gander at what "The Condor" has to say about POTUS' SOTUA, why don't we?

Every start of the year, the President of the United States meets with both houses of Congress to discuss where we’ve been as a country, and where we’re going as a country. This, of course, is the State of the Union address. This year, I wanted to simply watch the speech and write down my thoughts as it happened. And so, presented to you in the bullet points below, are my cliffs notes, taken down LIVE as Trump spoke to both houses. (It was fairly simple to keep up in between the massive amounts of clapping after almost EVERY PAUSE; historically, a recurring annoyance during this speech.)

- One of the first people I see walking in tonight is former WWE CEO Linda McMahon. Let’s hope she doesn’t break a hip (or a castor) getting to her seat.

- Mostly curious to hear about Trump’s comments on immigration, the economy and what’s on the horizon.

- Who can forget the time he shaved Mr. McMahon bald in Detroit at WrestleMania 23? I was live to witness the proceedings.

- Trump not getting as much applause as Obama; Congress is split so far down the middle on the DACA issue (and many others, quite frankly) that it’s like the Grand Canyon.

- Taking bets on whether or not the word “shithole” comes up during tonight’s speech.

- The coif is looking good tonight; props on the makeup department.

- It always amazes me how these guys in Congress clap so damn much when, deep down, we all know at least one of them wants to do a run-in with a steel chair.

- Wearing black to show unity for victims of sexual assault; my stomach just churned.

- Paul Ryan starts to say “prevented”, but then corrects himself; gonna chalk that up as a goof, nothing more. Y’all take that for what it’s worth.

- Swift action already taken during the first months of the Administration; can’t argue with him there.

- Stand and applause; duck-face.

- Mentions of Hurricane Harvey, the Las Vegas Shooting; veteran in the house tonight, one of the first responders during Harvey.

- Firefighter David Dolberg gets a shout-out for his efforts fighting the California wildfires.

- Now, what are you boneheads gonna do to make sure first responders like Ashley and David continue to get paid?

- Congressman Steve Scalise from Louisiana took a bullet and came back to work 3 months later; I would’ve filed for workman’s comp.

- “I think they like you, Steve.” Trump’s attempt at a quick joke. No problem here.

- Trump seeking Dems and Reps to come together not only in times of tragedy, but here and now ... good luck.

- Nancy Pelosi stone-faced and not clapping at all. Good to know where her loyalties lie.

- The state of our union is strong because our people are strong...so maybe THEY should start running things.

- 2.4 million new jobs created (OK, what kinds of jobs, and where?)

- 200,000 new jobs in manufacturing alone (again, where?)

- Rising wages after years as stagnation.

- Unemployment claims have hit a 45 year low.

- Black unemployment is the lowest ever recorded.

- Mexican unemployment have also reached the lowest levels in history.

- So what about all the homeless people?

- Small business confidence is as high as ever (and I wonder how Linda McMahon is involved?)

- Propping himself for the big tax reform bill passed before the start of the year ... gotta' admit, I’m kinda stunned they did it...so WHY can’t they figure out immigration?!

- Standard deduction doubled for everyone.

- $24,000 earned by a married couple is tax-free.

- Doubled child tax credit.

- $2,000 less for $75K yearly salary cuts tax bill in half……..maybe I’m not that good at math, but I can’t see it.

But the best part was when he leapt off the balcony and conked John McCain over the head like he was New Jack or something.

- Individual mandate for health insurance gone from Obamacare.

- Bernie Sanders is also stone-faced; somehow, socialism still seems to be the answer.

- $4,000 increase a year is pretty good if you want something to hold your dick with...I’ll have to do some research

- Must be hard being the only black man within a two-mile radius; he seems unfazed.

- $350 billion to be invested by Apple in America, and more workers to be hired.

- More duck face.

- Exxon Mobil $50 billion investment; maybe to finish cleaning off the Alaska coastline?

- If you work hard, and believe in yourself, you can dream anything, and be anything ... lot of people have said that over the years, but many people still work hard for nothing.

- We all share the same American flag ... you mean the one that some people try to burn in front of veterans in this country?

- Faith and family, not government and bureaucracy, are the center of America ... I beg to differ.

- Shout out to police and veterans, who deserve our support ... SO PUT THE AMVETS AD IN THE SUPER BOWL!

- Preston Sharp noticed veterans' graves were not adorned with American flags ... I didn’t know that was supposed to be standard protocol. Who was sleeping at the wheel?

- He’s sitting RIGHT NEXT to Melania … nope, not gonna make that joke.

- Stand for the National Anthem; shots fired on the NFL and the protesters.

- HALF of Congress remained seated during that wide pan ... holy shit.

- And ANOTHER wide pan with a 50/50 stand/sit ratio.

- OK, there’s more clapping going on than I care for at this point; it’s starting to get old.

- 1,500 people lost their jobs for being shitty to our veterans, gonna hire better ones; that’s pretty scary; so, what does it mean to fail, exactly?

- Remove federal employees that undermine trust ... maybe they’re getting behind removing Trump?

- Regulation rollback ... the last time that happened, Bush Jr. and friends put the economy in the shitter.

- There was a war on American energy and coal? Must have missed the memo.

- Chrysler is moving back to Michigan and Toyota and Mazda are opening plants in Alabama ... so there will be opportunities abound to steal resources for Alabama’s many trailers.

- Bets on whose knees blow out first by standing and sitting so much, being taken now!

- Terminally ill people need access to experimental treatments immediately; OK, but how are you gonna do it?

- Reduce the price of prescription drugs; gooooood luck with that shit, holmes.

- Stabenow stands up; guess Dems want to lower drug prices, too (HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.)

- Carmella apparently knocked out the ref when trying to cash in her WMITB contract; somehow, this is more important than what’s happening in real life (it’s certainly more interesting, admittedly.)

- At least Sanders seems to agree with Trump’s desire to get people out of poverty; he just wants to share wealth with everyone.

- Open vocational schools!

- Support paid family leave...don’t they already do this with the FMLA?

- Now we get to the good shit...immigration; let’s see where this goes.

- Families of slain girls, murdered by illegals, are here tonight.

- MS-13 gang called out by name.

- Full house stands for the victims; all right, all right, but what will Dems response be in regards to DACA?

The ultimate liberal dilemma - when clapping for black people means also condemning the actions of illegal immigrants.

- 320 million hearts are breaking; last I checked, we had a hell of a lot more people in America.

- Trump claims his new legislation will ensure this will never happen again ... I highly doubt it.

- I want our American kids to grow up and do great things ... so get them damn Mexicans out of our country!

- Americans are "Dreamers," too! SHOTS FIRED!

- Thousands of MS-13 gang members have either been deported ... or are being fed three square meals in our fabulous prisons.

- Trump urging Congress to send CJ reinforcements.

- Four pillars: path to citizenship for 1.8 million illegals brought to America as children to become citizens over a 12 year period.

- Fully secures the border (Gonna' build the wall? And get the Mexicans to pay for it?)

- Close loopholes, and ends program of catch and release (horrible, dangerous practice.)

- Ends the visa lottery; not too many people happy about that.

- Merit-based immigration system; skilled, who want to work, and contribute to society.

- End chain-migration; a single immigrant can bring in distant relatives (boos and hisses); focus on immediate family (spouses and minor children.)

- Get the job done! And more duck face.

- Much tougher on drug dealers and pushers to curb the opioid epidemic (does that mean the crooked doctors, too?!)

- End dangerous defense sequester; otherwise known as keeping the government open.

- ISIS on its heels; apparently he, too, disagreed with the Ted Cruz approach, and thank God for that.

- Justin Peck is a goddamn hero; let’s hope he don’t have any skeletons in the closet!

- Terrorists are UNLAWFUL ENEMY COMBATANTS. Don’t quite remember Obama making that claim.

- He’s keeping Guantanamo Bay open; not sure what to think about that, since Obama wanted it closed.

- We no longer tell our enemies our plans ... so that shit was happening before?!

- Jerusalem is recognized as the capital of Israel.

- Tough sanctions on Cuba and Venezuela.

- And now we’re on to North Korea.

- Story about that one dumbass that got arrested in North Korea; I don’t feel sorry for Otto; he should have known that those people don’t fuck around.

- Story of the North Korean defector; you know he’s shitting his pants knowing Kim Jong Un is watching and plotting his revenge.

- Light up the entire world? I wouldn’t have used that phrase ...

- USA chants breaking out! But some dude walked out ... communist.

- Overall, I think he did a good job; surprising to hear he has one of the lowest approval ratings of any president in his first year; I wonder who’s to blame for that?

- No mention of the Russia investigation or the memo; he’s supposed to release the memoas soon as his speech is done.

- Let’s just keep following his Twitter ... THERE’S the real source of truth! *eye roll*

Read More

Is the So-Called 'Alt-Right' Really THAT Big of a Problem?

According to the MSM, the "alt-right" is a consortium of hateful bigots, misogynists, racists, homophobes and white supremacists, whose forum memes and Twitter trolling will undoubtedly bring about the Fourth Reich and rampant lynchings, coast-to-coast. But is there just a teeny, tiny off-chance that maybe - just maybe - the media has exaggerated the "alt-right" threat to civility and democracy? 

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@Jimbo___X

I'm not entirely sure when I heard the term "alt-right" for the first time. Initially, I thought it was the terminology used to describe Gen Y and Gen Z conservatives and economic nationalists, whose entire political allegiance to Republicanism stems from a constant bombardment of pro multiculturalist, pro feminist and pro globalist propaganda they've been force-fed LITERALLY their whole lives. I viewed them as the ideological antithesis of "the social justice warrior," the inevitable post-reactionary response to the inescapable P.C. thought-crime state proliferating across college campuses and high schools throughout America. 

They didn't hate blacks, or women, or gays, or transsexuals or Hispanics. What they hated was this cultural diktat that they couldn't say anything less than glowing praise of anybody and anything post-Obama liberals championed, be it #BlackLivesMatter or transgender bathrooms or affirmative action policies or DACA or what have you. And what they REALLY hated was this P.C. thought-crime state mandate that - simply because they were white, or straight, or a man, or a Christian - they were responsible for the failings and misdoings of ALL blacks and gays and Muslims and women by sheer default of having a penis, or a near total lack of melanin, or not personally finding the idea of HIV cum flooding into their bloodied rectal cavities appetizing, or not praying to an invisible brown man who purportedly married a nine-year-old. 

So you had an entire generation of (predominantly) white boys growing up being told they had cultural privileges they didn't really have and that they were personally responsible for prejudicial, persecutory actions against minorities they themselves aren't personally responsible for and to top it all off, the entire education/media/entertainment industrial complex told them they ought to feel ashamed for simply existing and that to make amends for the original sins they never personally committed, they have to dedicate themselves to this cultural jihad against nationalism and capitalism and heteronormativity and the patriarchy and whatever else the Democrats tell them is evil incarnate. Oh, and also, they are supposed to celebrate their own demographical death and be super cool - if not downright exuberant - about the idea of their ethnicity being statistically and genetically subsumed by an international potpourri of competing third world racial groups.

"For every action, there is both an equal yet opposite reaction." Not only was the idea of the "alt-right" I thought I had a totally expected phenomenon, considering the nonstop societal antipathy hoisted upon them, it was hard to see them as anything other than justified in their cultural counterattack.

But then, I clicked onto presidential failure Hillary Clinton's web page, and I learned the horrible, horrible truth about these "alt-righters" - they were all a bunch of covert white supremacists who worshiped a Mandaean cartoon frog figure as a symbol of their pathetic and pitiful ethnocentric hatred. 

Let's hear it from the ghost of the Clinton campaign itself, why don't we?

Here’s the short version: Pepe is a cartoon frog who began his internet life as an innocent meme enjoyed by teenagers and pop stars alike. 

But in recent months, Pepe’s been almost entirely co-opted by the white supremacists who call themselves the “alt-right.” They’ve decided to take back Pepe by adding swastikas and other symbols of anti-semitism and white supremacy.

“We basically mixed Pepe in with Nazi propaganda, etc. We built that association,” one prominent white supremacist told the Daily Beast. Trump has retweeted his white supremacist supporters with regularity, but the connection between the alt-right and his campaign continues to strengthen. Trump has been slow to disavow support from Ku Klux Klansmen and white supremacy groups, and he recently hired Breitbart.com’s Steve Bannon as his campaign CEO (and Bannon isn’t shy about the fact that his “news” organization is the “platform for the alt-right”).

Well, all I can say is golly gee, I had no idea that thing I thought wasn't made up entirely of top-secret KKK members actually WAS made up entirely of top-secret KKK members! I mean, just one The Daily Beast article was all I needed to convince me that guys like Steve Bannon and Milo Yiannapoulos and Alex Jones are ALL neo-neo-Nazis ... and Trump is literally their new Hitler. 

But just to be on the safe side, I decided to go on over to that there Wikipedia and see what they had to say about the "alt-right" scourge. Get you a good gander of this shit right here:

The alt-right, or alternative right, is a loose group of people with far-right ideologies who reject mainstream conservatism in the United States. White supremacist Richard Spencer coined the term in 2010 to define a movement centered on white nationalism, and has been accused of doing so to whitewash overt racism, white supremacism, and neo-Nazism.[1][2][3][4][5] Spencer has repeatedly quoted from Nazi propaganda and spoken critically of the Jewish people,[5][6] although he has denied being a neo-Nazi. Alt-right beliefs have been described as white supremacist,[7][8][9] frequently overlapping with antisemitism and Neo-Nazism,[10][11][12] nativism and Islamophobia,[13][14][15][16][17] antifeminism and homophobia,[10][18][19][20] white nationalism, right-wing populism,[21][22] and the neoreactionary movement.[7][23] The concept has further been associated with multiple groups from American nationalists, neo-monarchists, men's rights advocates, and the 2016 presidential campaign of Donald Trump.[13][17][24][22][23][25] 

The term drew considerable media attention and controversy during and after the 2016 presidential election. 

The alt-right has its roots on websites such as 4chan and 8chan, where anonymous members create and use Internet memes to express themselves.[7][12][26]It is difficult to tell how much of what people write in these venues is serious and how much is intended to provoke outrage.[21][27] Members of the alt-right use websites like Twitter and Breitbart to convey their message.[28][29] Alt-right postings generally support Donald Trump[30] and oppose immigration, multiculturalism and political correctness.[11][18][31]

So wait a minute, you mean to tell me this alt-right Nazi business actually has a founding father in the form of one Richard Spencer, who is such a hardcore neo-Nazi piece of shit that he keeps telling everybody he really isn't actually a neo-Nazi? And what's with all of this homophobic and anti-Jewish sentiment? Who do these alt-right folks think they are, anyway ... Al Sharpton?

From what I gathered from that initial paragraph, the alt-right is actually way more than white supremacists. It's also a rag tag collection of anti-Semites (you know, like Ice Cube and that one guy from Public Enemy), nativists (i.e., anybody who has the audacity to take civic pride in his or her country), Islamophobes (how DARE anybody be uncomfortable hanging around people who worship a god-figure who claims Jews are no better than apes and ordered his adherents to drink camel pee pee?) anti-feminists (how come no one ever uses the term "anti-masculinists?"), right wing populists (basically, everybody who voted for Donald Trump) and anti-democratic monarchists who literally want to revert back to unicameral government rule. Now, at this point, I just had to take a step back and ponder something: how exactly can the "alt-right" encompass all of these competing ideologies when they're all so dadgum incompatible? Per whoever writes Wikipedia, this terrifying alt-right Behemoth is made up of majority-rules capitalists AND anti-free market authoritarians, hard-line Jew-haters and economic nationalist Jew conservatives, pussy-obsessed Men's Rights Activists and evangelical born-again Christians. I hate to break it to you, but Richard Spencer, Alex Jones, Milo Y. and Steve Bannon don't share the exact same perspective on socioeconomics, foreign policy or domestic governance. Indeed, you could even say their political ideals are inherently oppositional. So - outside of a basic disdain for political correctness and globalist trade policies (the absolute bedrock of modern neoliberalism, naturally) - what the hell do these people have in common? 

Oh, that's right - hatred of gays, Jews, Muslims, blacks, women, Hispanics, Asians, communists, weed smokers and furries ... all of which are traditional Democrat voting blocs. Which - of course - sorta' begs the question: do all these people soundly condemned as "alt-right" bigots and supremacists really hate the great liberal electoral Rainbow Coalition, or do they just dislike their political views and de facto promotion of big government, open borders, free trade and especially the expansion of the welfare state?

That third paragraph, though, is what really piqued my curiosity. So after Hillary Clinton saying Breitbart and Prison Planet started the alt-right and then somebody else on Wikipedia saying Richard Spencer started it, along comes a third creation myth that puts the blame squarely on 4Chan and 8Chan meme-makers and forum-dwellers. This one, we have to explore a little more in-depth. 

Until the alt-right became a thing people said, pretty much the only place online legitimate white supremacists could meet up was at Stormfront. Generally, the users on that site skewed older - middle aged and senior citizen - and there was some sort of concentrated effort to turn the organization into a real lobbying group. Of course, since that means outing themselves as Hitler-lovers and negro-haters, I suppose you can figure it out for yourself why it never became a truly powerful special interests group.

Huh ... I wonder what erroneous information in an article that literally accuses the President of being a white supremacist in its headline had to be amended?

Then along came /Pol/ on 4Chan, which many individuals who self-identify as "alt-right" consider the real birthplace of the "movement." In a sharp contrast to the Stormfront community, the people on /Pol/ generally skewed younger - we're talking high school and college kids - and there was no intentions of forming any sort of real world special interests bloc, a'la something like NARAL or the NRA. And while the Stormfront hoi polli generally consisted of 40 and 50 year old dudes with hard-ons for guns and black-on-white crime stories, the /Pol/ brain trust comprised mostly a gaggle of anti-P.C. shit-posters, who saw smashing the multiculturalism-uber-alles Tao as the last great cultural taboo. If Stormfront was a social mixer for the fat-assed, radically approaching middle aged survivalist gun nut nigger-hater demographic and bona-fide skinhead Nazi punks, /Pol/ was basically a post-P.C.-reactionary soundboard for cynical NEETS who realized the intrinsic shock value of ironic hipster racist humor was pretty much the last domain of classical punk rock rebellion in this, the great gilded age of government-mandated diversity.

So, from the literal get-go, nobody knows whether the pioneering /Pol/ "alt-righters" were serious. Is the "alt-right" the junior cub scoust version of Stormfront, or is it a post-post-post-post-modern parody poking fun at the paper-thin skin of our contemporary, liberal corporatist-forged multulcuturalism-and-globalism-obsessed society? Even now, no one can say for sure which answer is the right one ... or if either of them are right to begin with. 

Now, it's pretty hard to vamoose on over to something like The Daily Stormer or Amerika or hyper blunt Voat communities like v/Niggers and not see the remorseless, unabashed white supremacy on display. But in that, you have to take a step back. Are guys anonymously posting Hitler GIFS and saying "dindu nuffin" on a forum really the same thing as something like the Covenant, the Sword and the Arm of the Lord, a real white supremacist outfit that convened in person and trained actual militias to go out and commit actual crimes? Are Fash the Nation and TheRightStuff fans REALLY a societal menace on par with the group of white nationalists who killed Alan Berg, or the organization that ACTUALLY killed civil rights workers in Mississippi in the '60s? The self-avowed "proud to be racist" alt-right forums and sites may use the "n-word" a lot and talk about how much they admire Hitler (although I've never understood how they could hate the Jews so much and celebrate the Nazis so much yet never accept the Holocaust as historical fact), but outside of posting Pepe the Frog memes on their niche online hot spots, I'm assuming these people are also unlikely to ever commit an actual hate crime against anybody. After all, people too terrified to dox someone on Reddit - despite their declared ethnocentric vehemence - are probably going to be too terrified to spray paint a swastika on someone's house or light a cross on fire in somebody's backyard, let alone lynch somebody or beat somebody to death for being non-white. Indeed, pretty much all of the "racist" alt-right sites make issuing violent threats an insta-ban offense, and showing us just how much anti-racist sentiment has truly permeated the mass consciousness, even Stormfront bans users for saying "nigger" or posting Nazi imagery. So yes, even on the nation's largest white supremacist network, you can be exiled for being too racist.

What gets me the most, however, is how the mainstream media oh-so carelessly lumps everybody they don't like into the "alt-right" ash heap. To them, Breitbart and InfoWars are the exact same thing as The Occidental Observer or whatever the fuck David Duke calls his website. Milo Y. is "alt-right" even though he's gay and the "alt-right" over at The Daily Stormer are homophobic as fuck. Steve Bannon is "alt-right" even though he hired Jewish writers like David Horowitz for his site, while the "alt-right" over at The Daily Shoah make their fuming resentment of the Jews apparent to anybody with a working set of cochleas. "Alt-right" is deemed intrinsically racist, but then the MSM turns right around and declares African dissenters like Malik Obama ... you guessed it ... "alt-right." "Alt-right" is roundly criticized as intrinsically misogynistic and transphobic, but the MSM has no problem labeling female conservative commentators like T.S. Pettibone and transgender conservative commentators like Blaire White as ... surprise, surprise ... alt right activists and/or advocates.  All narratives are bound by reason, not unthinking emotion: and sorry, MSM, but your "alt-right" umbrella for the opposition is logically impossible, using your own set definition for what the "alt-right" supposedly entails.

Sure, you might get a few guys out there like Andrew Anglin who make their racist sentiments anything but a mystery, but it's an act of downright malfeasance to say something like The_Donald subreddit or Breitbart shares the exact same ideological virtues as The Daily Stormer or American Renaissance. Indeed, the term "alt-right" has kinda' become the new "fascist," that catch-all for nefarious, authoritarian scumbags oh so easy to ascribe on others but virtually impossible to uniformly define as an objective concrete term. 

Is John Derbyshire "alt-right?" Is the dude who created Dilbert "alt-right?" Is David Duke "alt-right?" Is Pat Buchanan "alt-right?" Is Sean Hannity "alt-right?" Are the Asian and black kids who made this video "alt-right?" And are the Latinos who made this video "alt-right," too?

I mean, they all support the same core socioeconomic principles. They're all anti-globalization, they're all anti-free-trade, they're all anti-political-correctness and they're all anti-big-government. But you see, the MSM just can't wrap their heads around the idea that all of the disparate people above voted for Trump based on such rudimentary socioeconomic issues. No, there has to be something deeper than the simple fact that Trump voters thought the nation - and by proxy, themselves - would fare better ECONOMICALLY under him instead of Hillary. There has to be something much more insidious, that - naturally - the Democrats can exploit in 2018 and 2020. Hence, the universal derision of that perplexing "alt-right" label that just seemed to pop up overnight when shit started getting real during last year's election.

...so, uh, when do we tell them there haven't been any actual Nazis since 1945, guys?

So how do you respond as the losing side? Well, shit, how else - by decrying everybody who doesn't agree with you as racists, homophobes, Islamophobes, Mexican-phobes, women-phobes and dope-smoker-phobes. Hence, the cultural construct known as the "alt-right" was effectively manufactured to automatically discount, dispel and discredit any and all people with more than valid socioeconomic concerns over open trade and open borders as nothing more than frenzied, pathetic, perpetually wailing bigots, Jew-haters and tranny-bashers.

Now, are there some people who've adopted/appropriated the "alt-right" moniker who are indeed racist, hate-filled people? Yeah, but show me one ideological/identatarian organization of any political affiliation or doctrine that doesn't have at least one or seventeen fringe sub-networks of violent, rage-obsessed idealists. Hey, say what you will about the so-called "alt-right," unlike the Black Lives Matter movement, none of their fearless leaders (to the best of my knowledge) have actually been arrested for owning slaves.

Shit, even the SPLC fucks up and accidentally reveals what the "alt-right" REALLY is in one of their long-winded press releases meant to drive the media into a tizzy over all that white nationalist hate running wild throughout Middle America (which, as a matter of reality, may or may not actually be happening.) 

"At the heart of the Alt-Right is a break with establishment conservatism that favors experimentation with the ideas of the French New Right; libertarian thought as exemplified by former U.S. Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas); anarcho-capitalism, which advocates individual sovereignty and open markets in place of an organized state; Catholic traditionalism, which seeks a return to Roman Catholicism before the liberalizing reforms of the Second Vatican Council; and other ideologies. It is a reaction to the conservative establishment as exemplified by the nomination of Barry Goldwater for the presidency in 1964. According to Spencer, that solidified several aspects of contemporary conservatism, including an emphasis on liberty, freedom, free markets and capitalism. Spencer considers these ideas to be 'anti-ideals' and says the Alt-Right is redefining categories for a new kind of conservative. 

Spencer describes Alt-Right adherents as younger people, often recent college graduates, who recognize the 'uselessness of mainstream conservatism' in what he describes as a 'hyper-racialized' world."

And that, effectively, sums up what I thought the whole "alt-right" shtick was about before everybody in the media told me (well, more like commanded me) to equate the term with neo-Nazi execution squads. In the passage above, where does racism or homophobia or Islamophobia or antisemitism or misogyny or anti-immigrant sentiment come into play? Simply put, it doesn't - rather, it summarily identifies the alleged alt-right as nothing more than anti-modernists who prefer the societal values of 100 years ago to the cultural mores of today and simply want the goddamn motherfucking state to keep its hand out of private enterprise. So basically, all this "alt-right" is are libertarians with traditional conservative stances on social issues who also think globalization is an economic raw deal for themselves and, inevitably, the entire nation.

But of course, it's hard to find a way to scare the living shit out of the traditional liberal base with idle chatter of the next generation of "pro-free-market, yet economic-nationalist-protectionist men in the 18-34 demographic," so instead, the entirety of the reactionary, Millennial and Gen Z conservative movement HAS to be denigrated with an ill-fitting, over-broad "alt-right" label that reduces everything they believe in, politically, into nothing more than odious rhetoric smacking of "toxic masculinity" and "lite fascism."

Of course, the pro-globalists and pro-multiculturalists and pro-progressivists are ultimately shooting themselves in the feet by attempting to transform Pepe the Frog into a literal white nationalist emblem. You see, kids have a natural tendency to flock to the marginalized and the misrepresented. If they see a media account decry something as the absolute worst fucking thing in the world, they NATURALLY want to see it for themselves to see if it lives up to the hype. And what these kids looking into the "alt-right" abyss are liable to find is the one thing the liberal cultural tempo setters should be MOST afraid they will uncover - that being, some hard, indisputable evidence of the way the world really works. 

You see, identity politics groups and their overarching political financing apparatuses aren't worried about people encountering phony disinformation or blatant lies. Why? Because the objective truth is the objective fucking truth, and most non-retards out there have enough gumption to determine whether a claim has enough substantial proof to be considered credible or just run of the mill Internet bullshit. What they're REALLY afraid of is that people might take a step out of the mainstream and enter an entirely different echo chamber, totally devoid of their political influence, and there, they will come face-to-face with an indisputable truth the liberals have been telling them is a big fat lie their entire lives. And where there's one dispelled tenet of the Great Liberal Mythology, there's bound to be another, and another, and another ... until anyone with a half-functioning brain realizes "you know, maybe there's enough concrete info here to make me question everything the mainstream people DEMAND I accept as unwavering truth."

And that, in a nutshell, is why the MSM wants you to immediately recoil from anything and anybody they deem "alt-right" with great (albeit, suspiciously unreasonable) disdain and disgust ... because odds are, they're going to be saying at least one or two totally factual things they don't want you to ever fuckin' hear.

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The Women's March Protests Are Totally Pointless

What "rights" are all you broads fighting for, anyway?

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@Jimbo___X

Well, I figured I'd have to say something about all of this "Women's March" stuff eventually, so I'll hurry up, say my piece and leave all ya'll be.

To begin, let's go back to the Civil Rights Movement. Or, even more fitting, the Suffragette Movement. Alright gals, think very, VERY carefully here: what made those protests different from the ones you're doing today? 

Simply put: they were actually fighting for something concrete. The Suffragette Movement wasn't about fighting sexism or the patriarchy, it was a social movement to obtain a specific legal right - that being, the right to vote (although it is strange how history has seemed to have forgotten just how closely tied the Suffragette Movement was to the Temperance Movement, but hey, I'll let you do your own research there.) Same thing with the Civil Rights Movement. They weren't marching against racial discrimination, they were LITERALLY marching to overturn discriminatory legislation; the Civil Rights Act of 1964 didn't make racism illegal, but it did make a shit ton of Jim Crow laws - which formerly barred blacks from frequenting certain public facilities and even schools - illegal. 

Now, I want you to pay REAL close attention, girls. In one sentence, what concrete legal rights are all these marches you've been doing intended to obtain? What specific law - if any - are these marches meant to overturn, overrule or outright outlaw? 

Well, I hate to break it to you, husband-less cat-owners of America, but assembling by the hundreds of thousands to hold up signs reading "you can't comb over racism, homophobia, sexism, rape, Islamiphobia [sic]" doesn't actually constitute a concrete legislative demand. Unless, of course, the whole point of these marches is to drum up support for legislation that would make racism, homophobia, sexism and Islamiphobia [sic] illegal, at which point YOU would be the ones raping the United States Constitution. 

From what I've seen thus far, here's what I suspect the women's marchers might be trying to say:

• Abortions are great, especially when they're free
• Donald Trump is a big fat stupid doo-doo head
• Smash the patriarchy so we can close the wage gap for good
• Wah wah wah, Hillary didn't win and I don't know how else to react to not getting my way for the first time in my life

How women march for freedom vs. how men march for freedom.

Well, last time I checked, abortion is still perfectly legal and Roe v. Wade remains the law of the land. Granted, there's a pretty strong chance the Trump Administration could (and most likely will at least try) to cut funding to Planned Parenthood, but even if Congress DID manage to pass a bill saying no more federal moolah for P.P. - it STILL doesn't ACTUALLY outlaw abortion. Same thing if the Trump Administration tries (and it wouldn't surprise me if they did) to suspend any and all Medicaid funding for abortions. 

Roe v. Wade is still intact, skirts. The only difference is, instead of having taxpayers in Nebraska and Wisconsin unknowingly foot the bill for your latest de-fetusing, now you've gotta' pay for that shit on your own dime. You're not losing any Supreme Court bestowed rights, girls ... you're just liable to lose an entitlement (that being, publicly subsidized abortions) you're not legally or constitutionally obligated to receive in the first place. IF Trump and pals were trying to actively ram a bill through the House that outright banned abortions, you MIGHT have an argument. Unfortunately, "make other people pony up to have this thing scraped and vacuumed out of me" ISN'T a legally codified right anywhere, no matter how badly you wish it was.

The second bullet point is an even stupider aggrievement. Alright, so you don't like Trump. You think he's a sexist pig who might be a legitimate rapist, even though he's never been arrested for it (and certainly never charged with it, and doubly certainly never been convicted of it) and none of his alleged "victims" have ever come forward with concrete, tangible proof that he victimized them. Sorry, broads, but "I think he's an asshole" isn't a legitimate reason to remove him from office. To do that, he's actually gotta' do something that violates his oath as president, like, I don't know, lie before Congress about getting his dick sucked. Furthermore, what executive order has he signed thus far that literally deprives you of one legal right (sorry, but that's not the same thing as entitlement) you had Nov. 8, 2016? That's right, none, zip, nada. You're just as Constitutionally free as you were three months ago, and the fact that hundreds of thousands of you can assemble in the streets to yell "fuck you Orange Hitler" for six hours straight without having a tank run you over more than proves it. 

The third one is so stupid, I don't even know where to begin. First off, the patriarchy isn't real. It doesn't have a physical address, it doesn't have a newsletter and it doesn't have a secret handshake. I've had a penis for more than 30 years, and I've yet to be invited into this inner sanctum of domineering white men, whose sole purpose is to conspire and conjure up plans to suppress women and minorities. Furthermore, if the patriarchy is indeed real, how do you explain the fact that men make up a majority of the nation's homeless and almost ALL of the nation's incarcerated population? Why do women - across the board - receive lighter sentences than men for the exact same crimes? Why do women win primary custody of children in anywhere from 66 to 88 percent of all divorce hearings? Why do women earn a majority of the nation's advanced degrees and why do women own a majority of the nation's wealth? And for God's sake, why do men - regardless of race or ethnicity - tend to die almost five years younger than those with XX-chromosomes? 

Then there's the inevitable complaint about the so-called "wage gap." Remember the Equal Rights Amendment they tried passing back in the '70s? Well, it was shot down for a reason - it would royally fuck up the economy. Same job, same gender, same pay - sounds good, right? Yeah, until you realize it means a first year substitute music teacher would be guaranteed the same pay that a physics teacher with a Ph. D. and 30 years of experience makes. Would a female office manager who oversees 10 people be entitled to the same pay as a male district manager who oversees 10 offices? Would hospitals be forced to pay a part-time female ENT doctor the same wage as a full-time male brain surgeon? Aye, now you see why it never got off the ground. 

...in hindsight, was it really that wise of an idea to let them vote?

Oh, and that whole "77 cents for every dollar a man makes" chestnut? A buncha' bullshit made up by the AAUW to cajole weak-kneed department chairs into giving them tenure. And if you need further proof that the wage gap is a bunch of hooey, here's a couple of articles debunking it for you to read on your own time from such festering misogynistic shitholes as Fortune, The Wall Street Journal, Time and Forbes.

And the fourth bullet point is the way that perplexes me the most. Not unlike the Black Lives Matter fad from last year, this whole Women's March movement (although, really, it's more of a hashtag than anything else) isn't actually outlining a workable set of policy reform ideas, but rather, just providing a brand name for a disparate group of anger-fueled individuals to loudly display their moralistic outrage over intangible concepts as some sort of pop cultural hobby. Uh, how exactly does holding up signs wishing literally half the population death achieve a policy goal again? It literally doesn't do anything to get you any closer to legislative reform, but it DOES give you something to retweet and post on Instagram. And in today's virtue signalling driven social media-scape, the endgame is never action, but always sycophantic affirmation.

And does anybody else find it just a little crazy that seemingly NONE of these hos seem to be pushing for the elimination of the electoral college - you know, the one LEGITIMATE social reform movement aggrieved Hillary voters could've chosen as their pet project in the wake of Trump's election? 

Then again, drumming up support for changing the Constitution takes - what's that word again? Oh yeah, effort. Why attempt to change the legal mechanism that LITERALLY cost Hillary the election if it means having to do actual work when it's far easier to just put on a Meg Griffin cap and say the word "pussy" a lot instead? 

Speaking of "pussy," isn't it just a little hypocritical for all of these Women's Marchers to run around wearing vagina masks and dressing up like golden-showering promising penises as a statement about how incensed and offended they were the President said he could grab women by the cooters 12 years ago? Bitches, please. For once, try to think like a normal, God-fearing Middle American. Even if you are rightly offended by Trump's alleged pussy-grabbing, is bragging about copping feels in a private discussion really more stomach churning than forcing an elementary schooler to walk around wearing a sign that says "this pussy bites back?" Dudettes, I'm sorry, but I'm honestly MUCH more disturbed that somebody would not only refer to their own primary school aged daughter as a crude sexual euphemism, but proudly parade her about in public as a political tool than I am any of The Donald's purported crotch grabbings. 

Feminists, seen here displaying why none of their candidates will ever win anything again.

Say what you will about the Tea Party dingbats - and yeah, it's probably valid - but at least those Obama hating crypto-racists had actual goals in mind. They wanted three concrete things: less taxes, less federal debt and no Obamacare. Those aren't invisible social constructs like "sexism" or "misogyny." They are actual pieces of public policy that can be changed over and over again. 

So, again, Women Marchers, I have to ask: what legal right that you do not have that men do ARE you fighting for? What specific federal law are you trying to get rid of or substantially alter? Which federal laws are you trying to bring to fruition? 

That's the problem with you dames. You honestly have no clue what you're marching for, you're just pissed your candidate didn't win and you have no idea how to handle electoral defeat. 

And you know what the really ironic thing about this is? Gals, this is PRECISELY the reason you lost the election in the first place. You're literally parading about your schismatic identity politics before everybody in America, in an attempt to divide instead of unite. You ovulators totally forgot that it was Donald Trump who managed to win over what could've been Hillary Clinton supporters instead of the other way around. Sure, 750,000 women in the L.A. area may have attended one of your rallies, but you completely forget that another 5.5 million women in that very M.S.A. stayed at home. A good 42 percent of ALL WOMEN in the U.S. voted for Donald Trump, and instead of doing something constructive to win them over to your side, you've doubled down on trying to ostracize, alienate, ridicule and demonize them (i.e., the pro-life women's groups that were disinvited from the "festivities" in D.C.)

Although politics tends to make people pretty damn oblivious to the real world and trifles like logic and common sense, there are some things that even the staunchest of partisans has to shake his or her head at - even when it's being perpetrated by people on "their side." And really, these women's protests - perhaps the first protests in history without anything corporeal actually being protested - are doing a remarkable job of driving middle of the road Democrats over to the G.O.P (hey, they don't call it the "red pill" for nothing.)

For starters, it's hard to not pick up on the brazen hypocrisy of the "movement" (which, to be perfectly honest, is much more of the bowel variety than the civil rights arrangement.) OK, so these twats are furious that women's rights in these United States are somehow being eroded, but when it comes the subject of maltreatment of women in the ultimate patriarchal culture (HINT: it rhymes with "Islam"), they're not doing (or even saying) a damn thing. Why? Because doing so would violate the feminists' intersectionalist Axis Powers compact with the Muslims,who they need as electoral backup against the Republicans. That one of the key organizers of the "movement" is a woman who went on live TV and said Muslim children were being executed en masse in the U.S. before complaining about 22 states trying to pass anti-Sharia law legislation just makes it all the more cringe-tastic.

But the Patriarchy is totally OK if everybody worships Allah, you guys!

But ultimately, the thing that's going to sink the Women's March hashtag/wannabe political phenomenon is the same fundamental flaw of the Black Lives Matter movement (and how weird is it that we haven't heard shit from them since Trump got elected?) Instead of marching for real empowerment, these skanks and scags and senior citizens are literally broadcasting their self-victimization to the whole world. Instead of positing themselves as principled, determined individuals courageously fighting an uphill battle for what's rightly theirs - i.e., that shit Malcolm X and MLK and Susan B. Anthony did - these womenfolks keep trying to drudge up new ways they're being oppressed and marginalized. Pulling a page out of the LGBT handbook, their strategy is to appear as beat up and de-powered as possible, with the endgame of weaponizing the pitiable charity anybody stupid enough to fall for the ruse showers upon them.

Unfortunately, menstruaters, Americans aren't the kind of peoples who celebrate pity, and we especially don't celebrate people who are clearly the beneficiaries of untold riches and privileges (like, I don't know, not having to go to war and shit) PRETENDING to be persecuted. Take a look at pretty much any gallery of Women's March protesters and you can see for yourself that practically none of them are hurting economically. And if they truly are being tyrannized, it's the first fascistic regime in history where the state sponsored subjugation comes with Starbucks and ample opportunities for selfies.

The alt-left doesn't have the foggiest notion of what Middle Americans stand for - as evident by the fact Democratic Senators are now having to take courses to learn how to have conversations with people who shop at Walmart. One look at the 2016 electoral map lets you know that those who think more like Trump than Clinton are more widely dispersed throughout the country, and if there is ONE thing the outcome of last year's general election demonstrated, it's that Red State America does not appreciate those who make virtue out of their weaknesses. 

And ultimately, what are these Women's March protests but people parading about their self-vaunted vulnerabilities and insecurities in a desperate scramble for sympathy?

That's the problem with your mighty union of hussies, floozies and trollops right there. You can aim for respect or you can aim for pity, but you can never be pitied and respected at the same time.

And trust me, all these demonstrations - the glorified penis envy festivals and traveling showcases of mental illness worship they are -  ain't doing a damn thing to earn you EITHER the admiration or sorrow of real Americans.

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Propaganda Review: Angry Goy - The Game!

Are you ready for the single most offensive video game ever made? Long answer short: no, you probably aren't. 

By: Jimbo X

JimboXAmerican@gmail.com

@Jimbo___X

Video games, by their very nature, have courted controversy from the very beginning. It wasn't long after the medium became entrenched in the pop cultural psyche before the powers that were started citing them as moral ills - lest we forget, the National Safety Council itself went after the arcade game Death Race and 60 Minutes was winging together "scare pieces" about the psychological impact of violent games all the way back in 1976. Since then, each passing generation has had its boundary pushing interactive watersheds, each drawing intense public scrutiny from concerned parents groups and worrywort politicians alike. In the 1980s you had Native American rape simulators and arcade shoot 'em ups where you blew away people in sexual torture devices, and in the 1990s you had kung fu games where you could knock each others' heads off, shitty Sega CD games about stealth vampires eating Dana Plato a whole host of three-dimensional FPSes widely reported as being the root causes of many a school shooting. The bottom fell out with the release of Grand Theft Auto III shortly after 9/11, with seemingly a new game to be "gravely alarmed" about coming down the pipes every three months or so: Postal, BMX XXX, The Guy Game (which, technically, is considered an illegal piece of C.P.), so on and so forth. With the advent of the Internet and indie gaming, however, the locus has shifted away from condemning video games that are just textually violent (indeed, Hatred, the first released game in history to ever get an A-O rating for violence alone, barely drew any media attention when it was released a few years ago) with the moral ire instead focused on video games with uncomfortable social context, which includes - but is not limited to - first person raping simulators, games about shooting pregnant Mexicans and, of course, that all-time FPS classic, Ethnic Cleansing, in which you choose to play as either a skinhead or a Klansman and run around shooting blacks and Hispanics (with the game's end boss being a fight to the death with Ariel Sharon.)

As controversial as those games may have been (and to be frank, the damn things were so obscure that not that many moral watchdog groups got up in arms about them), I think it's safe to say none of them will hold a candle to the cross-cultural shitstorm the recently released Angry Goy: The Game is ABOUT to brew up. 

What is Angry Goy, you might be wondering? Well, it's a free-to-download 2D, retro-style shooter a'la NARC. Yeah, so what, there are tons of freeware games like that already on the market, right? Well, there's one mighty big difference between Angry Goy and all the other retro-revival 2D shooters - namely, the fact that the entire thing is meant to promote white nationalism and anti-migrant sentiment. Basically, it's Anders Breivik: The Video Game, with all of your adversaries represented as endless hordes of gibberish shouting Somalis, homosexual Marxist college students and Jew-owned police and SWAT responders ... all of whom you brutally murder with machetes and semi-automatic weapons en route to the game's grand finale, a five minute long tribute to the preachings of Adolf Hitler.

Since the game was released on Jan. 1, it hasn't generated that much publicity, but trust me, once the media gets a hold of this one, it's going to be the Mortal Kombat brouhaha all over again. You can almost smell the headlines on HuffPo and Salon now: "RACIST VIDEO GAME ENCOURAGES MASS GENOCIDE" and "ONLINE NAZI GAME RADICALIZES WHITE YOUTH" and "IS THERE ANYWAY WE CAN PIN THIS ON DONALD TRUMP?" It's only a matter of time until this thing goes nuclear, and I reckoned the sooner I covered this thing, the better for all of us (but mostly, my SEO rankings, I ain't going to shit you.)

As far as the developers of the game, a grand total of three people are credited as designers. It appears to be a "fan-made" production through and through, complete with narration from pro-Nazi Euro-SoundClouder Natt Danelaw and a soundtrack provided by techno-Hitler fanboys CyberNazi (don't ask me how or why, but apparently, neo-synthwave music has become the official soundtrack of the neo-neo-Nazi movement.) It isn't too difficult to find links to download the game, but there's been a lot of clamor from the early adopters that the game may secretly be F.B.I. spyware intended to collect potential alt-righters' personal info. I'm not providing the links myself, but for those of you that want to download Angry Goy, be forewarned that when the game  was initially released, it demanded you run it on administrator mode and it may or may not record your keystrokes - or so, that's what I've heard through the grapevine, anyway. 

Alright (or is that Alt-right?), let's get this little sucker fired up somebody else's laptop, why don't we?

Before you even being the game, you're asked to agree to a T.O.S. box that refers to the game as "an ironic shitpost" and beseeches you to "not hold the creators of the game responsible for anything (sic) harm that could possibly occur to you in any way from playing this game." We get a little segue screen letting us know all the music for the game was supplied by CyberNazi (although I'm more partial to GigaGestappo, personally.) Instead of using the arrows on your keypad to move your avatar around, you have to use the W, A, S and D buttons. The space bar shoots, Q switches weapons, R reloads and G ditches your item. 

A giant pixel art swastika greets you at the formal intro screen. You see a guy wearing a futuristic Nazi ensemble (perhaps inspired by Uwe Boll's Rampage series?) with five options available: new game, continue game, system options, achievements and controls. There is another disclaimer at the bottom of the screen stating "the entirety of this game is satire" and "does not support violence of any kind or hatred towards any individual group." 

Time for the opening cutscene. Somewhere in Europe, a guy wearing a skeleton jaw bandana is sitting in his apartment, watching a newscast about six million refugees being granted asylum throughout the continent. The reporter on TV says this is a big step towards progressive multiculturalism while a banner in the background displays several black caricatures - all armed to the teeth - labeled as "starving refugee children." The reporter rolls footage from earlier when he interviewed a Somali migrant at a refugee camp. The asylum seeker says "wherever I am, I might also rape." 

This causes your avatar to chuck his TV out the window. You get to explore his flat a little (it's, perhaps unsurprisingly, littered with swastikas, Pepe the Frog posters, signage of people getting thrown out of helicopters and images of a white family with the slogan "defend our home.") You acquire a handgun, but before you hit the city streets, you'll notice a flat above yours that is digitally padlocked. Huh, I wonder what delightful secrets it holds?

This is gloriously offensive ... all the way up until you lamentably realize it's factually accurate. 

You are immediately attacked by a horde of machete wielding Somalis (although the weapons look more like yardsticks to me, but whatever.) You get health by buying cola out of vending machines (trust me, you will be hitting these things up constantly.) One of the posters in the background heralds the arrival of the "Seventh Annual White Guilt Parade." Your avatar calls the attackers, among other things, "goat fuckers" and "sand niggers." Whenever you unlock an achievement (essentially, hitting a certain kill count) a brief clip of a Hitler speech plays in the bottom lefthand corner of the screen. 

Graphically, the game looks like any number of the old I-Mockery flash games, a'la Abobo's Big Adventure. Structurally, the gameplay feels just like the old school arcade shooters of yore, like Smash T.V. and Ikari Warriors. 

Your avatar yells "We take back Jerusalem" after strolling past a poster that reads "White pride? That would be another Holocaust." You enter a park and gun down some Somalis, periodically quipping "nice try, Muhammad." You rescue a white child on a swing set. "We have to get you inside, these brown filth are dangerous," he tells the 16-bit girl. Your avatar advises she close her eyes and pretend he's a pony while he blasts his way through the horde of Muslim migrants. Eventually, you drop her off at her parents' flat, where the father (wearing a Soviet sickle shirt) accuses you of gunning down "12-year-old children" who were also his daughter's friends. While he's calling the po-po, you blow his brains out and tell his now-widowed wife he was "a faggot" and "a cuck." He says "I wouldn't be surprised if he was a sodomite" before giving the child - whose father you just murdered right before her very eyes - a lollipop. 

Back on the city streets, you get into a shootout with half a dozen cops. You enter an alleyway and encounter more migrants. "Reparations, you say?" your avatar proclaims. "Well, I hope you take lead." You go up some ladders and enter a rundown crack house, which serves as something of a mini-maze. Once you make it back to street level, you encounter more Somalis. "No, I think Meccas is THAT way" and "fucking Mussies, get out of my country, REEEE!" your ethnic cleansing "hero" mutters. Despite being a 2D game, the gore effects are surprisingly realistic. Whenever you shoot someone, their head caves into bloody bowl shaped wounds, complete with eyeballs flying across the screen once you register the coup de grace. 

At the Chosen Theatre, Dude Where's Your Argument, Jamal Wars and Fistful of Shekels are playing. Now the enemies are hiding behind cars and milk crates, making it sorta' like Gears of War, but, you know, with one less dimension and whatnot. Once you stumble upon Nip-Mart, a cutscene with an Asian stereotype supermarket owner is - pardon the pun - triggered. The owner - rocking a Fu Manchu mustache, buck teeth and a full-on Raiden hat - is on the roof of his store, armed with a sniper rifle. Small mounds of dead Muslims are scattered across the parking lot. A Somalian tries to sneak into the business. He shoots him dead and declares "I-uh really dis-rike niggers" and gives you an MSG to continue your quest. Hey, us Axis Powers gotta' stick together, I suppose.

We're still slogging through the ghettos. The laziness of the designers becomes apparent, with lots of the game space turning into generic splotches of grey and green. "Wow, this really challenges my preconceived notions," your avatar says upon splattering his 50th or so victim.

Now you arrive at the Cole B. Yearner Gender Studies Institute. And yes, that name is a joke ... sorta. Once inside, you do battle with students wearing clown makeup and bras screaming "you're fucking a white male" and dudebros with ganja leaf shirts. They are carrying dildos and bongs as melee weapons. School posters remind you to "remember, don't misgender" and that "feminism is reality." Say what you will about the racist inclinations of the game designers, you at least have to give them credit for clever achievement targets - i.e., being rewarded for breaking Anders Breivik's real life "high score" record. 

Portraits of Stalin and posters of the Islamic moon insignia (emblazoned with the subtitle "the religion of peace") are plastered all over the place. Eventually, you make your way into a lecture hall with a professor - clearly of the Hebrew persuasion - teaching his students that "evil times privilege squared divided by whiteness equals oppression." You chase him into the art room and stuff him into an oven set to 1488 degrees. This unlocks an achievement for making, and I quote, "Jew Pizza."

Back to the streets. Now the Somalis have AKs. You pass through "StarCucks," "Ade's Acrylics" and "Jeb! Authentic Guac Bowls" while mass murdering migrants and shouting "if it's brown, mow it down." You encounter a giant billboard declaring "diversity is our greatest strength" right before stumbling upon a major traffic pile-up (a reference to the France transfer truck attack last year, I take it?)

You loop back around to your apartment complex. Hey, the locked door is open now! You walk in, and there's your state of the art Nazi Iron Man suit waiting for you - along with an arsenal of super-powerful automatic weapons and even a futuristic-looking spiked metal baseball bat. Among other bric a brac in the room are bombs with Confederate battle flags attached to them and a poster praising William L. Pierce - you know, the guy who wrote The Turner Diaries and at one time pretty much bank rolled the entire white power music recording industry. Time for the first legitimate LOL quip of the game: "The Russians totally financed all this," your avatar declares.

Because fuck subtlety, that's why.

OK, so obviously your Nazi death suit (it kinda reminds me of Frankenstein's get-up in Death Race 2000) allows you to absorb way more damage before keeling over. You retrace your steps from earlier and wander into the Usury First ((("National" Private Bank)))." You have a dispute with the Jewish owner (a real plot twist, I know) and get involved in a lengthy shootout with cops and SWAT members. In the following cutscene, the Jewish caricature tries to bribe you into not killing him, but the number he offers keeps getting lower and lower. His death - the old two bullets to the skull chestnut - occurs totally off-screen.

Time for another shootout with SWAT on top of the bank (which, for some reason, has the Freemason logo on it.) You walk across a two-by-four catwalk into a crack house, which connects you to another rooftop SWAT battle. You know, this feels VERY reminiscent of Predator 2 on the Sega Genesis, actually. "That's what you get for covering up for rapists!" your avatar justifies his mass murder of police officials. 

Back to the city streets. You walk by a public utility building with a poster reading "We push the Fluoride Scam" and another billboard feature Penn Jillette as a black man (one of you kids is going to have to email me about that one - I have no earthly clue what it's supposed to be referencing.) 

Next, you enter an abandoned, darkened building (you hit Q and R simultaneously to flip on night vision goggle mode.) Everything has a blurry red tint to it. It's a fairly confusing labyrinth, mostly because the yellow guiding arrow keeps leading you astray. Eventually, you'll enter the sewers then an elevator that chugs along at a snail's pace back to the surface. Interestingly, a portion of one of Hitler's speeches plays while you're slowly inching your way up, in what may or may not be an oblique nod to the one "ladder climb" sequence from Metal Gear Solid 3. "We will win," some highlighted graffiti declares right before the sequence concludes.  

Now you enter a refugee crisis center and - surprise! - kill more Somalis. I don't know if it's a common bug with all versions of the game, but my copy got insanely glitchy here - in fact, I had to kill switch the thing a couple of times to make it through. I'm guessing Q.A. wasn't really emphasized during production - indeed, if you even touch a dead enemy's rifle, the fucking game locks up on you!

So, you keep killing everything with a tan, weaving your way in and out of abandoned buildings and more migrant camps. You eventually amble past the local welfare center ("Make Green for Being Brown" the billboard reads), a boarded up liquor store and a pharmacy with an ad suggesting "Cough syrup! Try it on hamburgers!" all while gleefully screaming "keep that HIV-ridden nigger blood away from me!" into the night. 

Yep, we're still blasting through the slums. You cross the movie theater again, see the same bus wreckage and hear the same 20 or some quips a million bajillion times as you massacre a small armada of Islamic sanctuary seekers. After what feels like an hour of mindless blasting, you come across the Channel 4 News Network (since I'm a Yank, I don't know shit about the BBC - is BBC 4 especially liberal or something?) The anchor - yep, the same guy from the opening intro - lets us know the suspect responsible for the mass slaying is named "Sam Hyde." I know Hyde is a pretty counter-cultural dude and all, but come on guys - you just know equating a stand-up comedian with a neo-Nazi mass-murdering simulator is just lawsuit bait with a capital "L." 

The anchor is killed offscreen, and this cues a 20 minute long shootout in the prop room, with wave after wave of SWAT members and cops coming after you. Thankfully, there is a vending machine smackdab in the middle of the room, so it's pretty much impossible to run out of health - that is, unless your index fingers give out, naturally.

And after you finally off all the officers? Your reward a cutscene in which your avatar pops a VHS in the control room to show the whole world "that Hitler was right." This leads to a five minute long video which cues a Hitler speech about the media swaying public opinion and warning us about "giant capitalists" (that's codeword for "Jews," y'know) while clips of white babies and Sweden roll in the background. "Gentiles, rise up because we've done it before and we will do it again," the video concludes. "Stand up to Jews of the world. Organize against Jewish tyranny and fight for your people." And the very last image of the game? A vacant screen, reading "#hitlerwasright, make the truth go viral." 

How disgusting. Can you imagine the roles being reversed and a video game encouraging the wholesale slaughter of Nazis instead?

Yep, that's the ending. No boss fights, no cutscenes describing the consequences of your avatar's actions, nothing - just the designers going all #Kony2012 on us and pushing a shitty propaganda video down our throats that nobody in their right mind would ever think of posting on their Facebook timeline. Anticlimactic endings suck hard enough, but to give those of us who waited a good 14 minutes for the game to download no ending whatsoever? Now that's just the zenith of laziness, you goose-stepping goof-offs. 

Before I get into the sociocultural implications of the game, I'll quickly go over the technical merits of the offering. Simply put, even as a freeware title, Angry Goy leaves a lot to be desired. The visuals are pretty good and the soundtrack is surprisingly awesome (then again, I do love me anything that sounds like a John Carpenter score) but the controls are clunky and the gameplay is super repetitive. Because it's damn near impossible to avoid enemy fire at close range, virtually every time you get gang tackled by three or more foes you're going to incur a lot of unavoidable damage. That means you pretty much have to backtrack to the last vending machine checkpoint, refill your energy, and repeat over and over again. Get health, kill one mob, go back and get more health, kill another mob a little bit further down the street, retreat to the vending machine, refill, rinse and repeat ad nauseam. The melee weapons are practically useless and as stated earlier, the game tends to glitch out a lot. Whether or not that can be attributed to characters from other video games trying to go "turbo" a'la Wreck-It Ralph for the white nationalist movement, however, is unlikely to be the case - frankly, these guys just rushed the game out there, and oh boy, does it show. It's strictly a solo player affair, and there are no online scoreboards to show off to your buddies on Stormfront. There's virtually no incentive to replay the game once you already beat it - no unlockables, no alternate endings, etc. - so it's pretty much the epitome of a play once and destroy game. Without the alt-right humor, this would be a totally unremarkable game, without question. 

And now, we come to the biggie. Does this game ACTUALLY have anything to do with satire, or is it just disgusting racist propaganda disguised as entertainment? You know, we've been having this argument for centuries - can agitprop be art, and vice versa? - and while I can't say I approve of the game's Hitler-espousing, super-mega-duper xenophobic themes, I can at least see the developers attempted to wedge some halfway legitimate social commentary in there. You may not like it or think it's funny, but the game clearly passes the old Miller v. California SLAPS test - it's a carefully crafted (if not sophomoric) absurdist comedy that panders to the The_Donald subreddit crowd by making fun of leftist sympathizers' hypocritical stance on "globalization" and "multiculturalism." Yes, the game is about killing wave after wave of African Moslems, SJW college students and purportedly Jew-owned police officials, but I think it's a stretch to say the game is designed to incite gamers to go out there and murder migrants and liberals and international bankers in real life. If you're going to piss and moan about this game "radicalizing" the Voat community, you might as well go after They Live for encouraging viewers to gun down Reaganites, or blame the Dallas sniping massacre on Grand Theft Auto. Satire is supposed to have a hard edge to it, and yes, that First Amendment protection is afforded to parodies even IF they don't jive with your own personal ideologies and you find the general statement of the work in question dangerous, depraved and morally indefensible. 

Angry Goy isn't a good video game and it can hardly be considered masterful comedic storytelling. Alas, like 2 Live Crew and the photos of Robert Mapplethorpe a quarter century before it, it's a game destined to redefine what it is, precisely, that constitutes art. Perhaps the greatest cultural inversion of my lifetime has been the total 180 of free speech in the States, where it is now hardline conservatives - the DailyStormers and Million Dollar Extremes and Milo Yiannopouloses of the world - that are crusading on the frontlines of the cultural First Amendment battle, while liberals (yes, the very same people who defended "Me So Horny" and "Piss Christ" as crucial free expression 25 years ago) are now posited as the guardians of morality, destined to bar any and all racist, sexist or homophobic commentary from poisoning the minds of the masses. Undoubtedly, Angry Goy is going to cause quite the commotion, and might even represent the first volley of a new high court culture war. 

Freedom of speech was never meant to protect the status quo. It was meant to protect unpopular opinions from being silenced by the majority. The very same reasoning that safeguarded liberal heroes Chris Ofili and David Wojnarowicz from torrents of religious right oppression in the 1990s is why even vile, hateful works like Angry Goy ought to be protected today. The game isn't a "hate crime" anymore than Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ - it's a mere idea, however distasteful, encapsulated in a fixed medium. And the very minute we start persecuting people for ideas - or considering hateful speech on the same level as hateful actions - we've already begun that long, miserable march down the road to fascism, kiddos. 

The biggest social crisis of my lifetime, I have long surmised, will entail how exactly U.S. culture seeks to define the First Amendment. There is an ever growing contingent out there that is hell-bent on changing 1A to mean it's the government's duty to protect the citizenry from being offended, and we may be just a few years away from the first wave of freedom-eroding Supreme Court cases hitting Capitol Hill. 

Angry Goy is shitty art made by shitty people with a shitty agenda, but there's no doubt that under the First Amendment as is, they have a right to peddle their propaganda to the masses - and if you don't like it, well, tough titties. Alas, a game this caustic is sure to rankle the easily aggrieved P.C. police, and I'll give it about a month before Slate and The Washington Post picks up on it and we have ourselves a level three - possibly even level four - sociocultural shit storm.

Don't say I didn't warn you well in advance, folks. Don't you even.

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