2017 NFL Power Rankings (Week 6!)

ESPN and Sports Illustrated can eat shit - these are the only pro football rankings anybody needs.

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@JimboX

This Week's Episode:

"Oh, So This is Why TV Ratings Are Down ..."

THE ELITES

#01

Kansas City Chiefs (5-1)

Season Point Differential: +47

The Chiefs finally got bumped off the roll call of the unbeatens over the weekend, losing 19-13 to the Steelers at home. Alex Smith went 19 for 34 for 246 yards and one TD pass in the affair, but holy hell, what happened to K.C.'s run game? Not only did their defense implode and let Le'Veon Bell gut 'em for 179 yards, their own run game could only muster 28 total yards of offense altogether, with top back Kareem Hunt finishing the afternoon with a scant 21 rushing yards.

#02

Philadelphia Eagles (5-1)

Season Point Differential: +43

The Eagles came out on top against the Panthers on a back-and-forth Thursday night battle, ultimately clinching the W 28-23. Carson Wentz had another fantastic outing, going 16 for 30 for 222 yards and three touchdown passes, while the Eagles defense was able to force three interceptions off Cam Newton. The run game didn't look too shabby, neither, as Philadelphia outgrounded the Panthers by a 101 to 80 yard margin.

#03

Los Angeles Rams (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +41

In what could be a Super Bowl preview (no, for fuckin' real), the Rams managed to outpoint the Jaguars 27-17 last Sunday. Todd Gurley (116 yards on 23 carries) had another solid outing, but Jared Goff underperformed with just 124 yards and a solo TD on 11 completions. Thankfully, the Rams' special teams was there to help counteract the lackluster passing attack; not only did Pharaoh Cooper take the opening kick 103 yards to paydirt, Malcolm Brown also recovered a blocked Jags' punt for an easy six on the scoreboard.

#04

Minnesota Vikings (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +19

Well, it was a competitive game against Green Bay, up until the point Aaron Rodgers got carted off the field. After that, the Vikes went buck wild, collecting three interceptions off backup QB Brett Hundley en route to a facile 23-10 victory. Not that Case Keenum didn't do something for Minnesota's offense - he did finish the game 24 for 38 for 238 yards and a one-to-one TD-to-INT ratio, didn't he?

#05

Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +16

One week after looking like he was half-retarded against Jacksonville, Big Ben bounced back in a big way Sunday. In the Steelers' 19-13 win over K.C., Roethlisberger went 17 for 25 for 252 yards and an even 1-to-1 TD-to-INT ratio. And Pittsburgh's run game looked fucking fantastic on both sides of the ball, amassing 194 ground yards on their end and holding the Chiefs' potent rushing attack to an astoundingly low 28 yards on the day.

#06

New England Patriots (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +13

Slowly but surely, the Pats are playing more and more like the team we all know and hate with a fucking passion. New England's latest win comes in the form of a hyper-controversial 24-17 "win" against the Jets, in which an obvious touchdown haul for New York was overturned as a fumble that flew out of the end zone. Stay tuned for this weekend's contest against Atlanta ... I'm sure they've got some downright Dick Dastardly shit planned for the big Super Bowl rematch.

#07

Green Bay Packers (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +12

That loud, aluminum-can-tab-sounding click you're hearing to the north is the echo of the entire state of Wisconsin collectively drinking themselves into oblivion following the aftermath of Sunday's game against the Vikings. Not only did they get blistered 23-10 by their arch rivals, they lost franchise QB Aaron Rodgers for what may be the remainder of the season with a broken collarbone. And if the performance of backup quarterback Brett Hundley (18 for 33 for 157 yards, one TD and three interceptions) is any indication, there may not be enough Old Milwaukee on the planet to quell the sorrows of cheeseheads home and abroad.

#08

Carolina Panthers (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +6

The good news about the Panthers' 28-23 prime time loss to Philadelphia last Thursday is that Cam Newton chalked up plenty of ground-based yardage, finishing the game with 71 yards and one touchdown on 11 carries. Unfortunately, Cam (28 for 52, 239 yards, one TD) also finished the game with a QBR of 40.0, thanks in no small part to those three interceptions he lobbed. And those two sacks - and nine after-the-pass QB hits - doesn't exactly bode well for the guy's longevity in an already historically injury-prone season ... 

Touchdown Jets! LOL, J/K. Fuck the Jets and everybody who likes them.

THE PLAYOFF HOPEFULS

#09

New Orleans Saints (3-2)

Season Point Differential: +29

In a live action remake of NFL Fever 2002 on the Xbox, the Saints and the Lions combined for an astonishing 90 points in Sunday's defense-deficient contest. Ultimately, Drew Brees and pals wound up with the upper hand, besting Detroit 52-38. If you're looking for an under-the-radar fantasy football pick up, you'd be wise to give N.O. back Mark Ingram a good look-see - he finished last Sunday's outing with 114 yards and two touchdowns on 25 carries.

#10

Seattle Seahawks (3-2)

Season Point Differential: +23

The Seahawks had a bye last weekend and will return this Sunday to go nose-to-nose with the 1-5 Giants. At this juncture in the season, the Seahawks are averaging 337.6 yards per game, making them the League's 16th ranked offense. And on the flip side of the field, Seattle is allowing 330 yards a contest, making them the NFL's 15th ranked defense overall.

#11

Buffalo Bills (3-2)

Season Point Differential: +15

The Bills were out of action last Sunday, but they'll be back this weekend to butt heads with Tampa Bay. Posting just 271.6 yards per game, Buffalo possesses the League's second-worst offense; allowing 322.4 yards a game, they fare much better and are currently slotted in as the NFL's 13th best defense.

#12

Atlanta Falcons (3-2)

Season Point Differential: +12

At the beginning of the third quarter, the Falcons were up 17-0 against the Dolphins. Of course, this being the same old Falcons, they somehow found a way to piss it all away and let Miami drop 20 unanswered points on them in the second half. If this story sounds slightly familiar to you ... well, it should. 

#13

Denver Broncos (3-2)

Season Point Differential: +11

In the biggest upset of the NFL season so far, the Broncos got dick slapped 23-10 by the formerly winless (and virtually receiver-less) Giants at home last Sunday night. If you're wondering how this happened despite Trevor Siemian outpassing the husk of Eli Manning's career 376 to 128 yards - well, that makes two of us, actually.

#14

Washington Redskins (3-2)

Season Point Differential: +4

In a surprisingly close contest, the Redskins just barely beat the now 0-6 Niners by a slim 26-24 final score. Credit Kirk Cousins' consistent passing for most of the victory. He finished the game 25 for 37 for 330 yards, two touchdowns and one INT, with leading receiver Chris Thompson (who is actually a running back) finishing the outing with 105 yards on just four catches (plus 33 rushing yards on 16 carries, but that's just an aside, really.)

#15

Jacksonville Jaguars (3-3)

Season Point Differential: +46

Despite Jacksonville winning both the numerical passing and rushing yardage war against Los Angeles, the Jags still succumbed to the Rams last Sunday, 27-17. Leonard Fournette (130 yards and one TD on 21 carries) and Blake Bortles (23 for 35 for 241 yards and a one-to-one TD-to-INT ratio) both had outstanding performances, but Jacksonville's special teams coverage completely shit the bed, giving up not one but two easy touchdowns for the Rams.

#16

Houston Texans (3-3)

Season Point Differential: +30

Deshaun Watson's rookie of the year - hell, maybe even overall MVP of the year - campaign continued in a 33-17 victory against the Browns last Sunday. The Clemson product went 17 for 29 in the win, finishing the outing with 225 yards, three touchdowns and one interception, with all three of his end zone strikes landing in the arms of separate receivers. And let's give that Houston D some credit - granted, it was the Browns they were playing against, but holding any aerial offense to just 113 yards after the sack yardage loss count is damned impressive anyway you slice it.

Go ahead ... try to count how many Jaguars players take a faceplant trying to catch this mofo.

THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK

#17

Detroit Lions (3-3)

Season Point Differential: +12

Some defensive and special teams snafus cost the Lions dearly in their 52-38 loss to the Saints. Despite racking up 312 yards in the air and three touchdown passes, Matt Stafford also got sacked five times for negative 31 yards and lobbed three interceptions - including a game-closing pick six to Cameron Jordan with just five minutes left in the fourth quarter. Add to that another two fumbles - including one that resulted in a quick Saints scramble into enemy end zone - and it kinda' becomes apparent why Detroit dropped this 'un, don't it?

#18

Baltimore Ravens (3-3)

Season Point Differential: -10

Baltimore came up on the wrong side of an overtime loss, dropping Sunday's tilt against Chicago 27-24 in extra innings (and for the record, can somebody tell me when the NFL shortened overtime play to just ten minutes, and do they plan on doing that shit in the playoffs, as well?) Joe Flacco, most notably, turned in one of his worst performances of the season in the loss, going 24 for 41 for 180 yards, no touchdown passes and two interceptions - including a 90-yard pick six tossed into the waiting arms of Adrian Amos late in the fourth quarter.

#19

Tennessee Titans (3-3)

Season Point Differential: -18

Marcus Mariota had a big game in the Titans' 36-22 win against Indianapolis. He wrapped up the affair 23 for 32 for 206 yards, one TD and one INT, with leading receiver Eric Decker collecting 88 yards on seven receptions. Tennessee can definitely credit their ground performance for the victory; the Titans managed to outrush the Colts 168 yards to 58, with DeMarco Murray and Derrick Henry each posting one TD run apiece.

#20

New York Jets (3-3)

Season Point Differential: -21

The Jets are going to be incensed about Sunday's "LOL, that touchdown was actually a fumble" call from now until the end of time, but that shouldn't take away from the team's fairly impressive overachieving against the defending Super Bowl champs in the weekend's 24-17 defeat. For starters, Josh McCown easily bested Tom Brady in the air, recording 354 yards and two touchdowns on 31 completions. I mean, sure, he also lobbed two interceptions and got sacked four times for minus 20 yards, too, but come on - this is one of those rare instances where a participation trophy is actually well-deserved.

#21

Arizona Cardinals (3-3)

Season Point Differential: -39

Hey, remember last week, when I wondered out loud if Arizona signing Adrian Peterson was a bad idea? Well, I reckon I can shut my goddamn whore of a mouth right now, seeing as how A.P. collected 134 yards and two rushing touchdowns in the Cards' 38-33 win against Tampa Bay Sunday. Shit, even Carson Palmer looked better than he had any right to be, lobbing the rock for 283 yards and three touchdowns. Keep that kinda' consistent offense rolling, and not only might this team make the wildcard round, they might even steal the NFC West crown underneath all our noses. 

#22

Miami Dolphins (3-2)

Season Point Differential: -23

Down 17-o at halftime against Atlanta, Miami managed to mount a 20 point come from behind victory Sunday. With Jay Cutler going 19 for 33 for 151 yards and two TDs (plus a solo INT), you can credit most of the win to the Fins' run game - more specifically, Jay Ajayi, who finished the contest with 130 yards on 26 carries.

#23

Cincinnati Bengals (2-3)

Season Point Differential: +1

The Bengals had a bye last weekend and will return Sunday for a pivotal AFC North clash against the Steelers. Averaging 311 yards a game, the Bengals are ranked 24th in overall offense, but allowing just 262.8 yards a contest, they currently possess the League's second-best defense ... you know, statistically, anyway.

#24

Oakland Raiders (2-4)

Season Point Differential: -2

The Raiders dropped a tough 'un against the Chargers last Sunday, losing a 17-16 intra-AFC West scrap at home. In his first game back from a back injury, Derek Carr went 21 for 30 for 171 yards, one TD and two interceptions, while the Oakland backfield marginally outrushed Los Angeles 109 yards to 80. We'll see if the addition of NaVorro Bowman does anything to spark the team ahead of tonight's pivotal intra-conference battle against the Chiefs - and if it doesn't, you REALLY have to start asking some questions about Todd Downing's job security. And, as always, if you care to relive all of the misery and disappointment of last Sunday's game, you can check out our FREE replay (sorta') of the Raiders' loss anytime you want right here.

Please, do feel free to add your own Chris Berman "WHOOP!" sound effects.

ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE DRAFT

#25

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-3)

Season Point Differential: -3

Don't let the 38-33 final score fool you - in their loss to Arizona over the weekend, the Buccaneers were nowhere close to winning the game. Heading into the third quarter the Cardinals had amassed a 31-0 lead, and pretty much all of the Bucs' offensive production came in the form of garbage time points - although Lavonte David's 21-yard fumble return was kinda' cool, I guess.

#26

Dallas Cowboys (2-3)

Season Point Differential: -7

Although the Cowboys didn't take the field Sunday, they might as well chalk up their bye week as a loss. Why? Because a federal court upheld the League's initial six-game ban of Ezekiel Elliot, but wait a minute ... just when it looked like Texas' No. 1 domestic abuser not named "Steve Austin" was going to be out of action until December, another judge turned around and declared the other judge's ruling on the injunction invalid, so Ezey E will be allowed to play at least one more game this season before his fate is finally decided. Anyhoo, by the time this thing goes to print, we SHOULD have a firm idea whether or not we'll be seeing Elliot playing anytime soon. Or not. It's really 5o/50 at this point.

#27

Los Angeles Chargers (2-4)

Season Point Differential: -15

Thanks to a botched PAT attempt on behalf of the Raiders, the L.A. Chargers managed to muster a 17-16 last-second win against Oakland Sunday. Philip Rivers went 25 for 36 in the win, finishing the game with 268 yards and one TD strike. Running back Melvin Gordon also played quite well, racking up 83 yards and one TD running the ball and another 67 yards (plus another touchdown) as a receiver.

#28

Chicago Bears (2-4)

Season Point Differential: -43

The Bears got their second win of the year via a 27-24 overtime victory against the Ravens. Mitch "The Bitch" Trubisky went 8 for 16 for 113 yards and one TD pass, while Jordan Howard racked up 167 yards on 36 carries. And, uh, because I can't think of anything really noteworthy to say about the rest of the team's performance, how about we check out Adrian Amos' 90-yard interception return again?

#29

Indianapolis Colts (2-4)

Season Point Differential: -76

The Luck-less Colts stumbled again Monday night, dropping an AFC South tilt against the Titans 36-22. Jacoby "Whisker Biscuit" Brissett finished the game 21 for 37 for 212 yards and one TD, while Frank Gore ran for an underwhelming 49 yards on ten carries, with zero end zone visitations. But on the plus side, at least the O-line held up pretty well - not only did they prevent Brissett from getting sacked once, they only let Titans' defenders hit him after the pass four times ... which, I know, does't sound all that great, but considering what defenses earlier in the season have done to the poor chap, it's basically a minor miracle. 

#30

New York Giants (1-5)

Season Point Differential: -27

The Giants, amazingly, managed to avoid an 0-6 start by beating the Broncos in Denver 23-10 in a prime time clash that had their foes listed as 13.5-point favorites. Eli Manning's 128-yard passing day wasn't much of a factor, but the G-Men's rushing attack was (probably) the difference maker. At the final horn, the Broncos only had 46 yards on the ground, while New York nearly tripled their rushing production with 148 yards, with top back Orleans Darkwa recording 117 on 21 carries.

#31

San Francisco 49ers (0-6)

Season Point Differential: -33

It's kinda' ironic that the name of San Fran's QB is C.J. Beathard, because over the weekend, the team got beat hard by the Redskins in a 26-24 slugfest. Despite the guy who isn't Colin Kaepernick having a mostly ho-hum day with 245 yards and a one-to-one TD-to-INT ratio, at least long-time 49ers back Carlos Hyde looked pretty decent, registering two touchdowns and 28 yards on just 13 carries.

#32

Cleveland Browns (0-6)

Season Point Differential: -63

Yep, the Browns are still sans a victory following their 33-17 loss to the Texans. Quarterback Kevin Hogan went 20 for 37 for 140 yards, racking up one TD but lobbing three costly interceptions, while Cleveland's rushing attack - despite picking 134 yards of offense - couldn't convert any of 'em into points on the board. If the team comes up short against Tennessee this weekend, you have to expect some firings to go down. Which, in this case, begs the question: do NFL bylaws allow executives to fire an entire team at one time?

Read More

2016 NFL Power Rankings - Week 7!

ESPN and Sports Illustrated can eat it - these are the only pro football power rankings anybody needs.

By: Jimbo X
JimboXAmerican@gmail.com
@Jimbo__X

THIS WEEK'S EPISODE:

"Yes, your team really is that bad"

THE ELITES

01

New England Patriots (5-1)

Season Point Differential: +69

Tom Brady and pals once again find themselves perched atop the pro football power rankings in the wake of their 27-16 win over the Big Ben-less Steelers. While Brady looked as solid as ever in the showing (222 yards and two touchdowns on 19 completions), the x-factor in the Pats' victory was certainly running back LaGarrett Blount, who finished the contest with 127 rushing yards and two touchdowns on 24 carries.

02

Philadelphia Eagles (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +68

After back-to-back losses, the Eagles finally got back in the win column following a 21-10 victory over the previously undefeated Minnesota Vikings. Carson Wentz's play was ho-hum to say the least (138 yards, one TD and two INTs on 16 completions), but Philly's defense (which sacked Sam Bradford six times and forced him to fumble the ball away four times) and special teams (did you see Josh Huff's 98-yard kickoff return?) certainly succeeded where the pass and rushing game faltered.

03

Buffalo Bills (4-3)

Season Point Differential: +56

The Buffalo Bills wound up losing a crucial divisional game last Sunday, dropping a 28-25 squeaker to the Miami Dolphins. Up 17-6 late in the third, Buffalo's defense went into sleep mode during the fourth quarter, allowing the Fins to rattle off three consecutive touchdowns over the course of just four minutes of playing time.

04

Dallas Cowboys (5-1)

Season Point Differential: +52

If the last weekend seemed oddly devoid of Jerry Jones, it's for a good reason - the Cowboys had a bye. America's self-professed team reemerges this Sunday night for a pivotal divisional game against the Eagles. Averaging 401.5 yards per game, the Cowboys possess the League's third ranked offense. Allowing 358.3 yards per game, the have pro football's 17th best defense.

05

Denver Broncos (5-2)

Season Point Differential: +50

The Broncos had no trouble getting past the Texans last Monday, winning a rather facile prime time outing 27-9. With just 157 yards on 14 completions, QB Trevor Simien didn't do a whole lot to spark Denver's offense - which means it's a good thing C.J. Anderson's steady run game (107 yards and a TD on 16 carries) was there to keep the chains a' movin'.

06

Arizona Cardinals (3-3-1)

Season Point Differential: +49

The only people who would've loved last Sunday night's dreadfully boring 6-6 sister-kissin' session against the Seahawks more than field goal aficionados would have to be fans of missed field goals. Right after Arizona's kicker whiffed on what should've been an easy game winner, how did their foes respond? How else - they decided to go out there and whiff on what would've been an even easier game winning field goal as time expired.

07

Minnesota Vikings (5-1)

Season Point Differential: +45

The Vikings offense, which had been fairly potent all season long, finally went limp against the Eagles. In the team's first loss of the year, the Eagles' defense absolutely pounded Sam Bradford all day, hitting him behind the line for a cumulative loss of 35 yards. By the time the offensive finally got cracking, it was too little, too late, with the Vikes' only TD of the game nothing but garbage points late in the fourth.

08

Atlanta Falcons (4-3)

Season Point Differential: +30

The Falcons only have themselves to blame for their 33-30 overtime loss to the Chargers. Not only did they squander away a 27-10 lead nearing halftime, they got the ball back first during O.T. and couldn't convert on a pivotal fourth and one situation. In that, who cares if Julio Jones is racking up 174 yards per contest and Matt Ryan is lobbing the rock for 273 a game when they can't collect the one yard that matters most?

THE PLAYOFF HOPEFULS

09

Seattle Seahawks (4-1-1)

Season Point Differential: +27

Nobody really wins when NFL games result in ties, and the Seahawks' 6-6 deadlock against Arizona last Sunday night more than backs up the assertion. Despite the self-cancelling final score, it's pretty obvious the Cardinals got the better of the Seahawks in the all-for-naught outing: not only did the Cards outpass Seattle 311 to 205 yards, they also managed to outrush them 132 to 52 yards.

10

San Diego Chargers (3-4)

Season Point Differential: +21

Don't look now, but the "Bad News Chargers" are riding high on a two-game winning streak, which includes back-to-back wins over both the Denver Broncos and the Atlanta Falcons. If nothing else, the team's resilient 33-30 O.T. win last weekend (in tandem with Phillip Rivers almost guaranteed 300 passing yards per game) suggests this a much better team than their current record reflects.

11

Pittsburgh Steelers (4-3)

Season Point Differential: +20

Landry Jones played surprisingly well (281 yards and a one-to-one TD-to-INT ratio on 29 completions), but the Steelers' defense had no answer for the Patriots' stellar run game. Still, the production numbers for Le'Veon Bell (81 yards rushing) and Antonio Brown (106 yards receiving) were fairly decent in the 27-16 home loss.

12

Green Bay Packers (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +17

Yeah, the Packers' home stand against the Bears last Thursday was pretty much everything you expected. In the 26-10 win, Aaron Rodgers absolutely lit up the Bears, collecting 326 passing yards and three touchdowns on 39 completions. Meanwhile, the Packers' defense totally shut down whatever meager offensive putsches Chicago could muster, limiting their aerial attack to just 120 yards and their rushing game to only 69.

13

Kansas City Chiefs (4-2)

Season Point Differential: +13

The Saints put up a valiant effort, but the Chiefs nonetheless managed to outlast Drew Brees and pals 27-21 last Sunday. Alex Smith went 17 for 24 in the outing, recording 214 yards and two touchdown strikes, while Spencer Ware rushed for 77 yards on 17 carries. Perhaps the biggest playmaker of the day, however, was defender Daniel Sorensen, whose 48-yard pick-six off Drew Brees proved to be all the cushion the Chiefs needed to amble off the field with a "W."

14

Oakland Raiders (5-2)

Season Point Differential: +06

The Raiders had their best game all season against the Jaguars, ultimately bumping off Jacksonville 33-16 in their home stadium. The Raiders' big money defense FINALLY looked like the multi-million dollar free agent bonanza we thought it would be, and where Derek Carr's passing game sputtered the consistent rushing attack from Latavius Murray keep the offense rolling. And as always, you can revisit the game in its entirety right here.

15 

Detroit Lions (4-3)

Season Point Differential: 0

The Lions were triumphant over the Redskins last Sunday in a thrilling 20-17 win featuring two teams that very well could sneak their way into the playoffs. Matt Stafford's track record of solid play continued, as he finished the latest outing with 266 yards and a touchdown on 18 completions.

16

Washington Redskins (4-3)

Season Point Differential: -3

Even in defeat, the Redskins' offense looked WAY better than it had any right to be. In Washington's 20-17 loss to the Lions last Sunday, Kirk Cousins nonetheless managed to rack up 301 yards and a TD, going 30 for 39 on pass attempts, with top receiver Jamison Crowder leading the herd with 108 yards on seven catches.

THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK

17

Baltimore Ravens (3-4)

Season Point Differential: -6

Why did the empirically superior Ravens drop Sunday's contest to the empirically inferior Jets 24-16? Well, one could argue that Joe Flacco's lackuster play - he went 22 for 44 on pass attempts for 248 yards, no touchdowns and two interceptions - was the driver for Baltimore's failure, but methinks the rushing disparities tell the whole story: the Jets concluded the outing with 155 yards, while the Ravens finished the game with a head-spinning final rushing tally of just six stinkin' yards.

18

Indianapolis Colts (3-4)

Season Point Differential: -6

Andrew Luck had HUGE numbers in the Colts' 34-26 win over the Titans. In addition to going 27 for 39 on passing attempts for 353 yards, he also lobbed three touchdown passes, with leading receiver T.Y. Hilton finishing the contest with 133 yards and a solo end zone visit on seven completions.

19

New York Giants (4-3)

Season Point Differential: -8

Even in a rather disappointing offensive outing, the Giants still managed to break .500 following their latest trip to jolly old England. In the team's 17-10 win over the Rams, Eli Manning posted only 196 yards on 24 completions - which is still a considerable amount of firepower, compared to the Giants' lackluster 36 yard tally on the ground.

20

Miami Dolphins (3-4)

Season Point Differential: -13

Are the Fins on a slow crawl back to playoff contention? Eh, it's probably a bit too early to make proclamations so bold, but by that same token, you can't help but be impressed by Miami's come-from-behind 28-25 win over the Buffalo Bills defense juggernaut - especially the play of running back Jay Ajayi, who finished the contest with 214 rushing yards on the day.

21

Tennessee Titans (3-4)

Season Point Differential: -15

The Titans did a pretty good job moving the ball in their 34-26 loss to the Colts. Marcus Mariota concluded the game with 232 yards and two touchdowns, while DeMarco Murray called it a day with 107 yards and a TD on 25 carries. Still, Tennessee's pass defense couldn't do shit all day, allowing Andrew Luck to effortlessly chuck the pigskin for a grand total of 353 yards.

22

Carolina Panthers (1-5)

Season Point Differential: -15

The Panthers' disastrous season won't get any easier when they return from a bye this Sunday - they've got a hard as hell home stand against the Cardinals. Seven weeks into the NFL season, Carolina - averaging 394 yards per game - still has the League's fourth best offense statistically. Allowing 371 yards per game, however, their much touted defense ranks 24th overall.

23

New Orleans Saints (2-4)

Season Point Differential: -19

The Saints put up a good fight, but they still wound up dropping a close one to K.C. 27-21. Alas, even in a losing effort, you can still expect Drew Brees to light it up in the air. His final tally when the clock struck triple zeroes in the fourth? 367 yards and three touchdowns on 37 completions.

24

Cincinnati Bengals (3-4)

Season Point Differential: -22

Not that it was any surprise or anything, the Bengals easily dispatched the wayward Browns 31-17 over the weekend. Andy Dalton has a good showing with 308 yards and two touchdowns on 19 completions, while back Jeremy Hill finished the contest with 168 yards and a score on nine carries. Also looking solid was receiver A.J. Green, who walked out of the contest with 169 yards and one end zone trip on eight catches.

ANXIOUSLY AWAITING THE DRAFT

25

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-3)

Season Point Differential: -31

Down 14-o at the beginning of the second quarter, the Bucs quickly turned on the proverbial sprinklers and started dousing the Niners with points. After a slow start, Jameis Winston finished the game with 264 yards and three touchdowns on 21 completions, with lead receiver Mike Evans hauling in two TDs and finishing the game with 96 yards on eight catches. Then, there's the Bucs solid run game, which dropped 249 yards on the Niners' defense - with Jacquizz Rodgers alone racking up 154 yards on the ground.

26

Los Angeles Rams (3-4)

Season Point Differential: -34

The Rams couldn't get much going in their 17-10 loss to the Giants in England. While Case Keenum had big numbers (291 yards and a TD on 32 completions), he also lobbed FOUR interceptions into the all-too-welcoming arms of Giants' defenders ... on top of getting sacked three times for a net yardage loss of 20.

27

Houston Texans (4-3)

Season Point Differential: -37

It was NOT a good return engagement for former Broncos QB Brock Osweiler Monday night. In a nationally televised 27-9 drubbing, Houston's signal caller could only produce 131 yards on 22 completions - with none of them, naturally, resulting in touchdowns.

28

Jacksonville Jaguars (2-4)

Season Point Differential: -43

The Jaguars certainly had a day to forget last Sunday, as ex-head coach Jack Del Rio's Raiders absolutely bitch slapped them across the field en route to a 33-16 loss. Just how bad of a day was it for the Jags? So bad that even when the Raiders managed to botch a punt on 4th and 24, they still were able to pick up a new set of downs.

29

Chicago Bears (1-6)

Season Point Differential: -58

And with Brian Hoyer hurt, the Bears now entrust their season to the veteran hands of ... uh, Matt Barkley? Not that you need me to tell you this, but the new Chicago play-caller didn't have the best outing against the Packers last Thursday - in his big primetime debut, he recorded just 81 yards on six completions ... as well as two interceptions.

30

New York Jets (2-5)

Season Point Differential: -61

Hey ya'll, the Jets finally won another game! In New York's 24-16 win over the Ravens, Geno Smith got hurt fairly early on, which meant it was time for Ryan Fitzgerald to go in there and do what Ryan Fitzgerald normally does, which is lose pro football games. However, the Jets rushing attack and surprisingly fantastic run defense kept them in this one, in turn giving Gang Green something they probably won't be seeing much of for the remainder of the season - that being, more integers on the left side of the win-loss column.

31

San Francisco 49ers (1-6)

Season Point Differential: -75

This may come as an absolute shocker, but despite all of the publicity Colin K.'s anti-National Anthem rhetoric has drawn, none of the media spotlight has been converted into points on the board. The Niners' woes continued following their 34-17 loss to Tampa Bay ... which is especially bitter, since they - believe it or not - actually jumped out to a 14-0 lead at the beginning of the second quarter.

32

Cleveland Browns (0-7)

Season Point Differential: -77

Yeah, things aren't looking any better for the down-and-out Browns following their 31-17 loss to in-state rivals Cincinnati. Even worse, with Cody Kessler out, that means the Browns will have to rely upon super-duper unproven QB Kevin Hogan, who went 12 for 24 for 100 yards and two interceptions in Sunday's losing effort. On the plus side, though? Apparently, he has all the makings of a hell of running back, judging from his 104 rushing yards on just seven carries.

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LIVE Play-By-Play from Week 7's Raiders vs. Jaguars Game!

Time to meet Jack Del Rio's ex...

By: Jimbo X

JimboXAmerican@gmail.com

@Jimbo__X

Join The Internet Is In America on Sunday, Oct. 23, for our LIVE play-by-play (well, more like possession-by-possession, but that shit is deathly for SEO) coverage of week 7's Raiders vs. Jaguars game. The shenanigans begin at 1 p.m. eastern time (with updates every commercial break) so be sure to bookmark this shit before kickoff. And as always, do us and yourselves a kindness and let all your fellow Raiders fans know what we're up to by posting links to our coverage on your social media pages. Hey, we're all in this together, remember (#silverandblacklivesmatter)...

12:26 p.m. - Vegas has the Jags as a -2 favorite, with the over/under set at 47.

12:27 p.m. - No major scratches for either team heading into the 1 p.m. kickoff. Offensively, the Raiders are outyarding the Jags rushing and passing this season. The Jags average 20.2 points per game while the Raiders average 25.3 points per contest. 

12:29 p.m. - The Jags are riding a two game winning streak. Meanwhile, the Raiders have an opportunity to go 4-0 on the road for the first time since 2000.

12:53 p.m. - Trent Green and Greg Gumbel are calling the action today. They remind us that the last time the Raiders had a winning season, Derek Carr was only 11-years-old. 

12:54 p.m. - Jacksonville leads the all-time regular season series 4-3.

1:01 p.m. - It's the first game back in Jacksonville since JDR left the team a few years back. The Raiders are set to receive first.

1:02 p.m. - Touchback for Oakland. Raiders take over at their own 25.

1:03 p.m. - Washington gets about five, maybe six on the first down run.

1:04 p.m. - Second and four. Washington the lone back. He gets smacked behind the line for a two-yard loss.

1:04 p.m. - Third and six. Carr tosses the ball away. Here comes the punting unit.

1:05 p.m. - The Jags' return man goes down at the 20-yard line. 

1:06 p.m. - Bortles pressured, almost intercepted on the throw.

1:06 p.m. - Second and 10. Yeldon gets maybe two, three yards on the run.

1:07 p.m. - Third and eight. And Allen Robinson cannot hold on to the pass. Time to punt. 

1:08 p.m. - Jalen Richard the return man. He goes down at the OAK 30. 

1:11 p.m. - Rivera picks up a new set of downs on a running throw. Flag down.

1:11 p.m. - Offsides against Jacksonville. Raiders decline.

1:12 p.m. - Crabtree isn't even looking on first down. 

1:12 p.m. - Second and 10. Seth Roberts gets a couple on the pick up.

1:13 p.m. - Third and seven. And Crabtree gets enough to move the chains as Carr evades a blitz. 

1:13 p.m - Flags everywhere. Neutral zone infraction against the Jags gives the Raiders a shortened set of downs. 

1:14 p.m. - First and five. Seth Roberts WIDE open for a good 30 yard gain.

1:15 p.m. - First and 10. Murray with a five yard run.

1:15 p.m. - Second and five in the red zone. Carr throws it away. 

1:16 p.m. - Third and five. Incomplete pass to Walford. 

1:16 p.m. - Sea-bass comes out. The 26-yard field goal is good. The Raiders go up 3-0 with nine minutes left in the first quarter.

1:19 p.m. - The Jags' return man goes down at the 30 yard line.

1:19 p.m. - Ivory gets maybe a yard on the first down run.

1:20 p.m. - The receiver gets about nine yards, but flags are all over the place.

1:21 p.m. - Holding against the Raiders, so the Jags get some free yardage.

1:21 p.m. - Ivory  with a five yard run, but it looks like he may have coughed up the ball.

1:22 p.m. - Jacksonville maintains possession. Second and four. Yeldon gobbled up at the line.

1:23 p.m. - Third and three. And what the fuck, the CBS feed just switched to the Indianapolis vs. Tennessee feed!

1:24 p.m. - Well, apparently, Bortles got a lot of yardage. A 17-yard run. 

1:26 p.m. - Second and 10. Bortles with a another big run, maybe enough to pick up a new set of downs. 

1:27 p.m. - First and 10 at the OAK 20. And Bortles gets SACKED by Bruce Irvin.

1:27 p.m. - Second and 10. The receiver barely makes it past the line of scrimmage.

1:28 p.m. - Third and seven. The Jags take a timeout.

1:29 p.m. - The pass is intercepted by David Amerson in the end zone!

1:32 p.m. - Raiders at their own 20. Crabtree gets about three on first down.

1:33 p.m. - Second and seven. Murray drives it up the gut for a short gain.

1:33 p.m. - Third and four. And Crabtree reels it in for a new set of downs.

1:34 p.m. - First and ten. Murray with about five, possibly six on the run.

1:34 p.m. - Second and five. Murray with a three yard run. Flags down.

1:35 p.m. - Neutral zone infraction against Jacksonville. 

1:35 p.m. - First and ten at the OAK 40. Another run up the gut from Murray, for about two yards.

1:36 p.m. - Second and eight. Cooper with just a few yards on the catch.

1:37 p.m. - Third and five. Crabtree can't hold on to the rock. Raiders gotta' punt.

1:38 p.m. - The Jags muff the ball on the return and Oakland gets it back within the Jacksonville 20!

1:38 p.m. - Incomplete pass on first down.

1:40 p.m. - Jamize O takes it to the JAX 14 and that's the end of the first quarter.

1:42 p.m. - Third and seven. Seth Roberts can't reel it in, so here comes Sea-bass. 

1:43 p.m. - A 32-yard attempt. It's good. Raiders go up 6-0.

1:47 p.m. - Judges reset the game clock to 14:52. Sea-bass re-kicks it.

1:48 p.m. - The Jags' return man goes out at the 20. Penalty marker is down.

1:48 p.m. - Offsides on the Raiders and they have to kick the ball AGAIN. 

1:49 p.m. - The Jags take a knee so they'll take over at their own 25.

1:51 p.m. - Allen Robinson can't reel it in but penalty flags are everywhere. 

1:52 p.m. - Pass interference against David Amerson. 

1:53 p.m. - Ivory pushed out of bounds at the OAK 10. 

1:54 p.m. - A 43-yard run. 

1:54 p.m. - First and goal. Ivory hit behind the line. 

1:54 p.m. - Second and goal. The Raiders take a timeout.

1:55 p.m. - Robinson overthrown.

1:55 p.m. - Third down. Robinson with a couple of yards, but nowhere close to smacking pay dirt. Here comes the field goal unit. 

1:56 p.m. - The 23-yard attempt is good. It's 6-3, Raiders.

1:58 p.m. - Jalen Richard in the backfield. He takes a knee, so the Raiders will begin at the 25 yard line.

1:59 p.m. - Johnny Holton with a good 29-yard run on first down.

2:00 p.m. - Washington with about a five yard run. 

2:00 p.m. - Murray gets more than enough to move the chains. 

2:01 p.m. - Washington with a five-yard reception.

2:02 p.m. - Second and four. Washington barely gets a yard on the run.

2:02 p.m. - Raiders at the JAX 25. Third and four. 

2:03 p.m. - And Jamize O. gets enough to pick up the new set of downs. 

2:03 p.m. - At the JAX 18. Murray takes it down to the 12.

2:04 p.m. - Second and four. Murray gets maybe a yard. 

2:05 p.m. - Third and two. And Crabtree takes it down to the five.

2:06 p.m. - First and goal. Jamize O. drives down to the three, maybe the two.

2:06 p.m. - Second and goal. And Murray runs it down the middle for the score!

2:07 p.m. - And Sea-bass is automatic. The Raiders now lead it, 13-3.

2:10 p.m. - The Jags take a knee. They'll begin their next drive at their own 25.

2:12 p.m. - Bortles under pressure and he has to throw it away.

2:13 p.m. - Yeldon gets enough to pick up the first down. 

2:13 p.m. - The receiver is underthrown and the pass is almost picked off.

2:14 p.m. - Second and 10. Thomas with a seven yard pick up. 

2:14 p.m. - Third and three. The Raiders call a timeout.

2:17 p.m. - The receiver gets a huge 38-yard pickup. Jags deep in Raiders' territory now.

2:18 p.m. - Second and eight. Thomas bows out about five yards shy of the first down marker.

2:19 p.m. - Third and four. Flags down as Bortles runs for the first down. 

2:20 p.m. - And that puts the Jags back ten yards. 

2:20 p.m. - Third and 14. And that takes us down to the two minute warning. 

2:23 p.m. - And Bortles tosses it out of the end zone with the Raiders blitzing. 

2:23 p.m. - The field goal attempt is good. Raiders still lead, 13-6.

2:25 p.m. - Touchback, so the Raiders will begin at the 25 yard line. 

2:26 p.m. - Crabtree gets about five on the pick-up.

2:26 p.m. - Second and four. And Murray reels it in for a new set of downs.

2:27 p.m. - Murray bobbles the catch.

2:27 p.m. - Second and 10. Murray takes it to the OAK 42. 

2:28 p.m. - Third and five. AND CRABTREE HAULS IT IN DOWN TO THE 10 YARD LINE!

2:28 p.m. - The Raiders take a timeout.

2:29 p.m. - First and goal. Twenty five seconds left in the half.

2:30 p.m. - Roberts ruled out of bounds in the corner of the end zone.

2:30 p.m. - Second and goal. Cooper can't reel it in, but there is a flag down.

2:31 p.m. - And they pick the yellow hanky back up. 

2:31 p.m. - Third and goal. TOUCHDOWN MICHAEL CRABTREE!

2:32 p.m. - And Crabtree gets a 15-yard penalty for the old Chris Benoit throat slashing gesture.

2:33 p.m. - Sea-bass is automatic. Raiders lead 20-6. Actually, Crabtree got the personal foul call for simply putting his thumb to his throat. I am NOT bullshitting you, folks. 

2:35 p.m. - Four seconds left in the half. And the Jags take a knee. 

2:35 p.m. - The Raiders pretty much running away with this one. Oakland has 237 yards to Jacksonville's 151. Oakland is outyarding the Jags aerially 153 to 57, but believe it or not, the Jags still lead the Raiders in terms of rushing yardage, 94 to 84.

2:50 p.m. - Jags with possession to begin the second half. Second and nine.

2:51 p.m. - Bortles gets about seven on a run.

2:52 p.m. - Third and four. Chris Ivory cannot reel it in. Here comes the field goal unit.

2:53 p.m. - The kicker makes it. Oakland still leads, 20-9.

2:54 p.m. - The Raiders will begin the next possession at their own 25.

2:55 p.m. - Cooper with about seven yards on first down.

2:56 p.m. - A Jaguar defender is down on the turf.

2:58 p.m. - Second and four. And Murray gets more than enough for the first down.

2:59 p.m. - Carr scrambles for about five yards.

3:00 p.m. - Second and five. Murray goes down at the line.

3:00 p.m. - Third and seven. Incomplete to Seth Roberts. Raiders have to punt.

3:01 p.m. - And the Jags will start the next drive at their own 7.

3:04 p.m. - Allen Robinson can't hang on.

3:04 p.m. - Second and 10. The receiver gets dropped around the line of scrimmage.

3:05 p.m. - Third and 10. DJ Hayden with the sack!

3:06 p.m. - And a holding call against Jacksonville. Jags have to punt it away.

3:06 p.m. - Richard goes down at the OAK 42. About eight minutes left in the third quarter.

3:09 p.m. - Incomplete to Roberts on the running pass.

3:09 p.m. - Second and 10. Carr with about a two yard scramble.

3:10 p.m. - Third and nine.

3:10 p.m. - And Amari Cooper picks up the midfield pass to move the chains. 

3:10 p.m. - Flags down. Ten yard penalty against the Raiders for holding.

3:11 p.m. - Third and 19. Roberts overthrown. 

3:12 p.m. - Raiders punting. Penalty flags are already down.

3:12 p.m. - False start call against Oakland puts them back another five yards.

3:12 p.m. - The kick return man goes down at the 23. There are flags down.

3:13 p.m. - Holding call against Jacksonville. 

3:14 p.m. - Jacksonville pinned back at their own five. Yeldon with barely anything on first down.

3:14 p.m. - Second and eight. Yeldon steps out of bounds about four yards shy of the first down marker.

3:15 p.m. - Third and four. AND KHALIL MACK WITH THE SACK!

3:16 p.m. - Jaguars punt. The Raiders will begin the next drive at the JAX 37.

3:19 p.m. -  Flags down. Offsides against Jacksonville makes it first and five for the Raiders.

3:19 p.m. - Washington runs down the middle to move the chains.

3:20 p.m. - First and ten. Holton dropped in the backfield for nearly a five yard loss.

3:21 p.m. - Second and 14. Washington bobbles it. 

3:21 p.m. - Third and 14. Roberts makes it to the 26-yard line. Here comes Sea-Bass.

3:22 p.m. - A 44-yard attempt. And it's good. Raiders extend their lead to 23-9.

3:23 p.m. - Touchback, so the Jags will begin at their own 25.

3:24 p.m. - Bortles nearly sacked on a shuttle pass. Amazingly, the Jags manage to turn it into a three yard gain.

3:25 p.m. - Third and five. Penalty markers down.

3:26 p.m. - And it is a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty against Jacksonville.

3:27 p.m. - Third and 20. Rashad Green dropped at the 20-yard line. 

3:28 p.m. - Richard runs it all the way down to the JAX 20. Flags EVERYWHERE.

3:29 p.m. - A major holding call pushes the Raiders way back to where Richard originally caught the ball. 

3:30 p.m. - And that's it for the third quarter.

3:33 p.m. - Second and 10 at the OAK 28. Richard with maybe one on the catch.

3:33 p.m. - Third and 10. Roughing the passer call gives the Raiders 15 free yards. 

3:34 p.m. - An Malik Jackson commits ANOTHER 15 yard penalty for cursing at the ref.

3:35 p.m. - Raiders at the JAX 42 now.

3:36 p.m. - Cooper with a yard on the catch.

3:36 p.m. - Second and nine. Richard fights for about two yards.

3:37 p.m. - Third and eight. Crabtree hauls it in, but it is probably a yard shy of moving the sticks.

3:38 p.m. - Here comes Sea-Bass. A 52-yard attempt. He's good. Raiders now lead it 26-9 with 11 minutes left in the fourth.

3:40 p.m. - Malik Jackson gets ANOTHER personal foul so he's ejected.

3:41 p.m. - The Jags' receiver is taken down at the 13 yard line.

3:41 p.m. - Lee picks up enough on the slant to move the chains.

3:42 p.m. - The receiver a good yard shy of a new set of downs.

3:43 p.m. - Bortles nearly intercepted on an incompletion.

3:43 p.m. - Second and 10. Bortles scrambles. Two flags down. Holding on the offense, personal foul on the defense, so the penalties offset each other.

3:44 p.m. - Second and 10. Allen Robinson down to the JAX 40.

3:45 p.m. - Third and six. Allen Hurns can't reel it in, and the punting unit is out again.

3:45 p.m. - Richard takes the kick-off to the OAK 30.

3:47 p.m. - Murray with a six, maybe even seven yard run.

3:49 p.m. - Second and three. The back is swarmed behind the line.

3:50 p.m. - Third and seven. Osemele is walking off the field. Murray gets hit behind the line on a throw. Raiders have to punt.

3:51 p.m. - The Jags' return man goes down around the JAX 15. About seven minutes left in the fourth quarter.

3:56 p.m. - Intentional grounding call against Bortles. JAX at their own 45.

3:57 p.m. - Another incompletion from Bortles.

3:57 p.m. - Second and 10. The refs add a few seconds to the game clock.

3:58 p.m. - Bortles throws it away on a blitz.

3:58 p.m. - Third and 10. The Jaguars manage to convert.

3:59 p.m. - Hurns overthrown.

4:00 p.m. - Bortles gets tripped up behind the line. And there is a holding call against the offense. 

...this pretty much tells you everything you need to know about today's game.

4:00 p.m. - Second and 20. More flags. False start against the offense.

4:01 p.m. - Second and 25. And Bortles connects to move the Jags into the red zone.

4:02 p.m. - The Jags reel it in the end zone, but there is a flag down.

4:03 p.m. - Offsides against the Raiders. The kick is good. And that makes it 26-16, Raiders, with four minutes left in the game. 

4:06 p.m. - The game clock is reset and the Raiders take a timeout.

4:07 p.m. - The onside kick goes out of bounds. And the Raiders get flagged. 

4:08 p.m. - It is against Jacksonville. The Raiders take over at midfield. 

4:09 p.m. - Murray with about three yards on a run up the gut.

4:10 p.m. - Jacksonville takes a timeout.

4:11 p.m. - Second and eight. Murray with maybe a yard on the run. Jacksonville takes another timeout.

4:12 p.m. - Third and seven. And now the Raiders take a timeout.

4:15 p.m. - And the Raiders get hit with a 15-yard unnecessary roughness call. 

4:17 p.m. - And on fourth and 24, Marquette King runs the ball for a new set of downs following a trick play!

4:18 p.m. - We get some scuffling, and both a Raider (Johnny Holt) and a Jaguar (Jalen Ramsey) get ejected. 

4:19 p.m. - And Murray runs it up the gut for a considerable gain on first down.

4:20 p.m. - Second and six and the Jags use their final timeout.

4:21 p.m. - Cooper with a HUGE pick-up to put the Raiders at the JAX 9.

4:22 p.m. - TOUCHDOWN LATAVIUS MURRAY!

4:23 p.m. - Sea-bass is automatic for the extra point. And the Raiders extend their lead to 33-16.

4:24 p.m. - Offsides against the Jaguars. The point after is still good. 

4:27 p.m. - Two minutes to go. The Jags at their own 30.

4:29 p.m. - Second and 10 with 90 seconds left. AND REGGIE NELSON INTERCEPTS THE BALL. 

4:30 p.m. - You may have had bad days before, but you've never had one as bad as the day the Jags have had. 

4:31 p.m. - And the Raiders will just run out the clock.

4:33 p.m. - That's all she wrote from northern Florida. The Oakland Raiders put in their best defensive showing of the year en route to a dominant 33-16 win. With their fourth road win of the year, the Raiders improve to 5-2 on the year. 

4:34 p.m. - Man ... sometimes, football is just awesome, y'know?

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